From Inside The Writer's Office

SasuSaku(-ish)

summary: My point of view, and adventures, in making/writing the chapters of my FFs. Very random scenes, a little romance, etc.

One-shot(-ish)

Bwahaha! This is the spawn of my lack-of-SasuSaku in my fic 'Revenge' and my writers block! Oh, and its rated T for a reason (aka swearing and stuff)(or maybe it needs to be M because of the amount of swearing... I'm not sure. You tell me.) Also, the 'OCs' are actually just my friends(or annoying people)

(Oh and you all get to witness my creepy obsession with Orochimaru, the Akatsuki, Gaara, and my un-characteristical vanity! (THATS UN-CHARACTERISTICAL FOR ME DAMNIT!))

ALSO! This story isn't supposed to make alot of sense... =D (and it's not supposed to be very grammatically correct)

Enjoy...?

I glared at the producer. Stupid... damn... producer... My pencil snapped in half.

"Miss Akura... I know your troubles with continuing the chapter but-"

"Troubles? TROUBLES! What the hell is your problem, Danielle!? Stop acting like theres some tree up your ass and shut the fuck up!"

"...touchy touchy touchy!" She sniffed as she slammed the door behind her.

"Don't you think that was a little... harsh?"

"Shut it, retard." Something dawned on me. "By the way, who the hell let the He/She in?"

"Oh my gosh Akura! Shut up! I'm a guy! I have a-"

"NOBODY WANTS TO KNOW!" Kate slammed the door in Nathan's face and looked through the peep-hole when a knock was heard. "Ohoo, come in, come in." She giggled as Sasuke entered.

"Hn"

"Sasuke..." I warned, sending my friends out with one hand movement. Huh... I looked at my surroundings. It was an office and a huge glass window behind me. I sat back in my chair with a grin on my face. I felt like a Hokage!

"Akura" He waved his hand infront of my face, trying to get my attention. Ah, how useless it was. "Akuraa" He kicked my shin. Ouchies! But I didn't reply. Which got him really pissed, by the way.

You should've seen the way his face twisted in anger! Ha! The rage! The unadulterated fur- Oh hell no, Sasuke! Don't you even dar- Crackle. Woosh. Smash. "UCHIHA!" He innocently looked up from my crashed desk. Did I mention that he crashed it? With his Chidori? I just didn't feel like the Hokage anymore. Hell, I felt more than that. I felt like Tsunade.

"Ugh, Akura!" Sakura kicked open the door, completely oblivious to what was going on. She walked up to my, ..sniff.. destroyed.., desk and went to slam her hand against it. "Ca- AAHHH!" She flew to the ground with her fist. Maybe because she put chakra into it. Maybe she likes falling. Maybe Sasuke pushed her. Who knows? Who knows...

"Now what were you going to say, Sakura-chan?" I mocked, looking down at her from my chair. Atleast my black and purple checkered chair was still in tact. If the Uchiha, or Haruno, fucked it up, there would be hell to pay. Why? Well-

"Liiiike I was saying," Sakura dusted her leather skirt off- wait, leather skirt? Oh dear. Temari took her shopping again. I thought I told her not to shop during break hours!

"Nobody cares, Haruno." Neji opened the door with his cold self. Hehe, his cold self. Hehehe. ANYWAYS. He nonchalantly walked up to me, attempting to give me his Hyuuga-death-glare. Too bad that shit doesn't work on me, Neji. Too bad. "Excuse me?" I snapped my head up wondering what it was I said...

"Ooooh shit I did NOT say that outloud!" He cracked his knuckles.

"2 pal-" He began to use that 8-trigrams 64-palms attack, or whatever the hell its called, on me but Sakura kicked his ass. Literally. Ha. Haha. Hahaha. Hahaha-

"AKURA!" Shit, I totally did NOT see Sakura's kick to my face coming! I scrambled to my feet, clutching my face. No blood, good. Nothing broken, good. I glared at her. If she left a mark on my gorgeously gorgeous face I'll-

"What the fuck Sa-ku-rah?! What do you freaking want?" I tried to grab a mirror in the ruins of my desk. Damn, these shinobi are getting on my last nerve. Times like these I wish Orochimaru killed me.

Speaking of the snake sannin, where WAS he? I told him to meet me an hour ago. We were going to discuss his new poison he's creating... and the price for it. What? Can't authoresses have cool shinobi poisons too? Anyway, the three of them just stood there like freaking idiots. What. The. Hell. Don't they have lives? I sure as hell do!

"I don't know about THESE losers, but I'm here to discuss a raise." I blankly stared at her. Okay, clearly they don't have lives.

"Well if you actually DID something I'd actually PAY you but what do you do? Nada. Shit." Needing Oro now more than ever...

"Akuraaaa?" I heard the familiar hiss. YES! I looked up to the sky... I ALWAYS KNEW THERE WAS A GOD! AND HE IS NOW MY FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD.. or universe? or ever? Who IS God anyway? Or Kami, which is God in Japanese but its still uber-cool like that-

"Ah! Oro-chan! You're here! Fina-fucking-ly!" Bwahaha, the face on the three was PRICELESS! Especially Sasuke's. Damn kid deserves it... broke my freaking desk... more useless muttering... and grumbling... whatever...

"Sssorry but you sssshould have sssseen that traffic!" He looked at the three with that creepy, AND AWSOME!, smile of his. "Why hello Sssssassssuke-kun! Long time, no sssssssee!" Aw, Sasuke's smiling! Wait... no, he's not smiling...

"UCHIHA! DO NOT USE THAT FUCKING CHIDORI IN MY OFFICE AGAIN! USE IT ON ORO-CHAN AND YOU'RE BANNED AND CUT FROM ALL STORIES! DO YOU READ ME SOLDIER?!" He, of course, only listened to my last line. Thats why I put it there. Ohohoho I am so crafty. "Must I get security- oh look they're already here!" The entire Akatsuki, who I use as my personal security because I'm just that important BWAHAHAHA!... moving on..., walked in, Itachi at the front.

"Dasher! Dancer! Prancer! Vixon!-"

"Akura, we're not Santa's reindeer." Kisame, my little-wittle fishy teddy bear, just had to cut me off. And I was on a roll damnit! Atleast I think I was... "Why did you call for us?" I cleared my throat and sat up, with dignity, in my chair.

"Itachi, your foolish little brother is causing trouble. He chidori-d my desk and almost chidori-d Oro-chan!" Why are they both giving me the same damn look? They're clearly related. CLEARLY.

"So what do you want me to do with him?" Oh-my-gosh, HE SPOKE! And more than one word! HOLY CROW!

"Erm whatever the hell you security people do with bad people?"

"We're not security. We're Akatsuki." Pein stepped up, defending their precious name.

"Same fucking thing to me. Now move along and remember to come back in five hours for that... meeting..."

"Hn" Itachi took Sasuke by the arm, threw him over his shoulder, and walked out. I cackled when I saw the despaired look Sakura had when seeing her, cough SECRET BOYFRIEND cough, being dragged away like a little kid.

"Well then go after him. Visit him in that place where they're taking him. Whatever." Two brats down, one to go. "Now Nej-Nej, isn't there someone else's mood you can kill? Like your girlfriend's?"

"Tenten is NOT my girlfriend!" Aww! Little Nej-Nej is blushing! HOW ADORABLE! Ahem...

"I never even SAID a name so go on and go to her or whatever. I have business," I shooed him off, "now about that poison..."

"Aren't we going to ssssstart our deal the way we normally do?" Damn, the brats got me sidetracked.

"Of COURSE Oro-chan!" And so we turned on some music and danced. And it was to rock music, but we always dance like it was rap. Or hip-hop. Or whatever random genre. But, after a while, we started headbanging. Why? Cause. We. Can. So ha!

(Five Hours Later)

"You got the goods, Uchiha?" I was sitting behind my brand new shiny oak desk, YAY!, wearing a trench coat, a hat, and sunglasses. The Akatsuki wore the same.

"Hn" That always meant yes. So I pressed a magical button on my wall that opened up to a room. WOO! The magically-opening door always made me dance. Its just so fun!

"Bitch you always fucking do that shit it annoys me-" A hug always shuts him up. A hug a day keeps Hidan at bay! Ha! I made a joke! Ahaa! Hugging Hidan always makes me, you guessed it, DANCE! Dance too much booty in your pants-

"Just shut up and watch it, yeah!" Deidara waved the tape around in my face. I squealed and skipped to my huge round couch, it goes in a circle ITS SO AWSOME!, and sat in the middle. Like always. Konan popped in the tape then took her spot beside Pein. The TV made a fizzling sound then the picture sprung up and I leaned forward in my seat. I loved movies!

"I knew I shouldn't have woken up this morning..." Sasuke rubbed his head, looking at Sakura through the little jail bars. Finally! I was tired of seeing him just lay there like he was a model!

"Don't say that Sasu-kun," Sakura stuck her hand through and ruffled his hair. He gave her a sour look, "you just shouldn't have broke Akura-baka's desk." Oh, I'm a BAKA eh?! WELL THEN- Sasori hitting me in the head stopped me from my plotting. He always did. Good little Saso-chan...

"Hn" Sasuke 'hned' and looked away. AND SO HE'S SORRY! WELL THEN- Sasori again. He's actually kinda annoying me a little. Though thats what I pay him for...

"Hold on a sec..." Sakura closed her eyes and sat still for a moment, only to lash out and tear the bars apart enough that she could fit through easily. Aw, so cute! But she's fixing it later damnit! "Sasu-kun, I have a question." She positined herself next to him and he put his arm around her. Again, I squealed. SQUEEEEEEEEE!

"Hn" If he says "hn" one more time I swear- "What, Sakura?" Would it KILL him to say Sakura-chan? SHOW SOME EMOTION DAMNIT!

"Why do you want us to be, you know, a secret?" The sadness was evident in her eyes as she looked away from him. Awww, so cute! I heard a sharp pounding sound, but disregarded it. It was probably just Danielle again. Sasuke didn't respond, "Oh, I get it. It's your Uchiha pride, right?" She went to stand up but Sasuke pulled her back down to him.

"I... I don't know. But we don't have to be a secret anymore..." Wow, thats SO uncharacteristical for Sasuke! Or is it just a different side? Itachi covered his face with a pillow next to me. It was so cute! Alright BACK to the movie, BWAHAHAHA!

"You know I still love you Sasuke." Sakura looked him in the eyes and closed the distance between them. I started crying. It was adorable! But, of course, Itachi ruined it with his insane gagging.

"Jelous, Itachi?" We all jumped and turned around to see the stars themselves in the doorway. Before Itachi could retort, or cut Sasuke's head off, I jumped over the couch and hugged them both.

"AWWW! THAT WAS SOOO FUCKING CUTE!" They were trying to push me away. But no! I am like SUPER-GLUE! "I'm sooo proud!" I pulled away and grinned at their, uber-pissed, faces. "Now what wasn't so hard was it?"

"Danielle wants to know when your next chapter will be finished. The deadline is next week." Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Uhh..." An idea popped in my head and I snapped my fingers, "by George I've got it!" Alright, I'm not even sure if thats the RIGHT way to say that but whatever. I like to make things my own. "Tell her it'll be in soon! Now everyone out! I have an idea and I won't let you all ruin it!" I scurried to my desk, took out my new laptop, cha-ching!, and started typing like mad. Ten minutes later, I saved it and sighed. The chapter was complete!

"Oh Danieeeeeelle!" I pressed the intercom button, "Come to my office to pick up the chapter. PRONTO!" After reclining in my chair to relax, I realized something. Sakura and Sasuke never left... I opened my secret room again and there they were. On the couch. Making out. I rolled my eyes and took out my mega-phone from beside my desk.

"COME ON KIDS! OUTTA THE POOL!" They both jumped in surprise, fixed their hair and clothes, and were out. Ahh, those kids. I took out the tape I used to record their little session they just had. They'll never learn...

the end

AHA! ITS DONE! Sorry it was really random but I couldn't resist making atleast ONE random/funny story because my main project, Revenge, is just so serious! I needed a haven! Oh I also apologize for the corny SasuSaku scene. Anyway, Happy New Year everybody!

your FEELING BETTER authoress...

kunoichixakura