Disclaimer: All characters belong to the insanely hilarious anime that is Minami-ke


The Last Shrimp


Silence, an unusual state in the Minami household, loomed over the small apartment that night, broken only by the soft pitterpatter of rain on the sliding glass door and the low rumble of the boiling hot pot on the living room table. The pot was sweating profusely now. Beads of condensation trickled slowly down its smooth sides. A column of steam swirled above, carrying with it the delicious smells of the ingredients that had, at one time, filled the now empty hot pot. Well, nearly empty. Just below the surface of the bubbling water lay a lone shrimp that sizzled quietly, blissfully unaware of the two sets of eyes that were watching it.

"The last shrimp…" The monotone voice that interrupted the silence belonged to the set of eyes that were narrowed and possessed a spark of determination.

"So…it has come to this…" The dramatic voice that replied belonged to the set of eyes that were stretched wide and possessed a spark of idiocy.

Silence reigned again as the two sat in tense anticipation, the wild, dark-haired girl and the focused blonde each waiting for the other to make their move. Outside, the storm ragged on, drenching the forgotten laundry that still hung on the drying rack. From somewhere next door, the muffled sounds of the hit drama Ninomiya-kun could be heard softly in the background. Yet the two continued to sit motionless, their eyes flickering from their opponent across the table to their prize inside the hot pot.

Suddenly, with a piercing battle cry, the wild one shot out her hand, armed with chopsticks, only to have them clash forcefully against those of the blonde's.

"Chiaki…" A sinister smile spread across the dark-haired girl's face as she spoke. "…do you really intend to fight me?"

"Of course," the blondereplied in her monotone voice, eyes still narrowed. "It will be like taking candy from an idiot."

"Ha! Don't you mean it will be like taking candy from a baby?"

"Have it your way."

Kana's brow furrowed as she took a moment to consider her opponent. "Hey Chiaki, as your older sister, I command you to let me have the last shrimp." She leaned forward applying more pressure against the smaller girl's chopsticks.

"Like hell I will," came the cheeky reply. Chiaki tightened her grip, determined not to be overcome by her sister's greater strength. "If it's so important that I let an older sibling havethe last of the hot pot, I'll give it to Haruka-neesama. Besides, you've already eaten more than the two of us combined."

Kana's other fist clenched by her side, as she glared across the table at the blonde. "Are you calling me a glutton?!" she exclaimed incredulously.

"Isn't it obvious?"

The dark-haired girl blinked at the quick reply, before narrowing her eyes. "You ungrateful sister, you'll pay for your insolence!" With another battle cry, she wrenched her chopsticks to the side and plunged them into the boiling water before Chiaki had a chance to block her again. With a triumphant grin plastered across her face, Kanaheld up the sizzling shrimp aboveher head like a trophy.

"Victory!"

Chiaki's eyes widened and without hesitation, she lunged forward to grab one half of the shrimp with her chopsticks, her other hand pushing against her sister's head. Kana screamed at the sudden attack and tried desperately to pull away without damaging her spoils.

"Let go! Let go! You're gonna tear it!"

"You let go!"

"It's tearing! It's tearing!"

"Idiot, it won't taste any different!"

In their attempt to pry the last morsel from each other's grips, their chopsticks simultaneously slipped against the shrimp's smooth surface, sending it sailing across room. Both girls gasped in horror. Just when all seemed doomed, Chiaki leapt forward, holding a plate in her outstretched hand. She hurled herself across the room, landing heavily on her stomach.

"O-Ouch…" Chiaki muttered weakly, as the dust cleared. Slowly, she opened her eyes. Did she dare look at the plate? A rare smile broke across her face when her gaze fell on her prize. "I caught it!" she exclaimed happily, closing her eyes with relief. They shot open again, however, when the blonde felt the weight of Kana's foot pressing onto her back, right between her shoulder blades. The painful sensation was coupled with the burning blush on her cheeks at the humiliation of being pinned to the floor. She struggled under the weight in vain.

"Hu hu hu, good work Chiaki! You managed to save the shrimp," the dark-hair girl said with an evil smile. "It's a shame that your efforts won't be rewarded…" she continued in a tone of mock sympathy. Kana leaned forward, applying more pressure with her foot and eliciting a whimper from the smaller girl. "No, what am I thinking? Of course you'll be rewarded…by getting to watch meeat the last shrimp!" With a wide grin, she plopped down on Chiaki's back, straddling the blonde so that the girl's arms were trapped beneath her legs. Kana reached forward to pluck the shrimp from the plate right before Chiaki's eyes, not bothering to use chopsticks. The blonde's brow furrowed in irritation. She had to think quickly.

"Oi, bakayarou."

Kana paused, the shrimp dangling dangerously above her open mouth. "Hmm? You're not really in a position to call me that, are you?"

"Well, only a dumbass would enjoy her winnings in such a careless manner."

"Eh? What do you mean?" Kana's head was now cocked to one side as she stared down at her sister with genuine interest.

"You won the prize, didn't you?" Chiaki asked in her bored tone.

"Right!"

"And whoever wins the prize should have the right to savor it peacefully."

"Right!"

"Then you should be enjoying it at ease, not shoving it down your throat like gluttonous pig."

Kana's eyes widened as she took a moment to let Chiaki's words soak in. "…enjoy…at ease…? …Chiaki…you're absolutely right!"

"Of course."

"I own this shrimp! I should be feasting like a king!"

"…Sure."

Kana leapt up, releasing Chiaki from underneath her. With a condescending smile on her lips, the middle Minami sister sat down at her place at the table, placing the shrimp delicately on the plate in front of her. Tucking a napkin into the front of her shirt, she called out to Chiaki in commanding voice.

"Attention! The King is ready to eat! Waiter! The special sauce please!

Chiaki's eyebrow twitched in annoyance as she got to her feet, smoothing out her skirt. "I got your special sauce right here, bakayarou!" With lightening fast reflexes, the blonde K. her sister with a head shot using Fujioka, the samurai bear. Kana was sent sprawling backward as her forehead made contact with the stuffed animal, landing on her back with a thud. As her sister lay motionless on the floor, Chiaki dashed across the room and grabbed the plate with the shrimp, carefully avoiding the dazed girl on the ground. But just as she was taking a flying leap over Kana's body in an attempt to flee toward the safety of their bedroom, the dark-haired girl's eyes flashed open and her hand shot out to catch Chiaki's ankle. She shrieked at the unpleasant surprise.

But miraculously, she didn't fall flat on her face. Instead, she was forced to hop around on one foot while Kana held her other one.

"Cheater!" Kana screeched accusingly.

"Can't help it if you're gullible." Chiaki retorted automatically.

Kana paused, still holding her sister's ankle. "Heh heh…is that so?"

Chiaki's eyes narrowed at the unexpected response. Her gaze shifted from Kana's mischievous smirk to her sister's vice-like grip around her ankle. The blonde shifted her weight, carefully trying to maintain balance on only one foot.

"Like I said before, Chiaki," The dark-haired girl murmured ominously, "Are you really in a position to say that?!"

With a jerk of her hand, Kana raised Chiaki's leg a little higher, causing the girl to moan as her muscles were stretched, making it more difficult to keep her balance.

"Maaaaah! L-Let go! Bakayaroooooou!"

"Now, now Chiaki! This is not a time for insults! Give me the shrimp!" Kana commanded, reaching out to grab the plate.

Her sister held the shrimp away from her, still hoping like crazy to prevent herself from toppling over. "When hell freezes ov- a-aahh!" she gasped as Kana lifted her leg even higher. "It h-hurts!"

Chiaki's leg was now stretched so impossibly high that tears were springing into the corner of her eyes.

"Wow, I didn't know you were so flexible!" Kana commented, obviously impressed.

"I-Imbecile…" came the gasped reply, as Chiaki struggled to balance herself and speak at the same time. Her skirt was slipping to the point of indecency. Any minute she was going down. She jerked her head towards the hallway. There was no way she was going to make it to the bedroom now. Her eyes flew to the table, a desperate plan quickly coming to mind. It was a long shot, but it was her last resort.

"Hey, aren't those my panties with the strawberries on them?" Kana accused, staring blatantly.

The blonde's hand shot down to tug her skirt lower as a rosy blush colored her cheeks. Her eyes flashed dangerously as she glared up at the other girl.

"You want the shrimp? Then here, take it!" Chiaki flung herself forward and smashed the plate into Kana's face, sending the girl reeling backward, taking her little sister down with her. But before Chiaki landed in a tangled heap, she tossed the shrimp, which she'd taken off the plate before using it as a weapon, into the air. Once again, the tiny seafood soared across the room in a huge arc, nearly grazing the ceiling before it landed back into the boiling hot pot with a splash.

"O-Ouch…"

"Uh, Chiaki? Your elbow…it's crushing my windpipe…" Kana choked from beneath her sister.

"Yes," the blonde agreed, making no effort to move.

"...the shrimp…it landed back in the hot pot, didn't it?"

"I suppose that's why we heard a splash."

There was a pause as both girls shifted to look over at the table. Outside, the storm was quiet now. The only sound of raindrops came from the dripping laundry that hung limp and soggy on the balcony. Next door, the end credits of Ninomiya-kun with its melancholy tune filled the silence. Just then the front door opened and a familiar voice called down the hallway.

"I'm home! Sorry it took me so long to run down to the mailbox, I ran into our neighbor, Fuyuki! Such a nice boy…" Haruka walked into the living room, taking no more than a glance at the two girls tangled together on the floor.

"Oh! You left a shrimp for me! I was sure you two would finish off the hot pot before I got back." The eldest Minami sister smiled pleasantly. "Thanks!"

And so, the last shrimp was enjoyed with tiny, polite bites by none other than Haruka Minami as Kana and Chiaki watched silently, one with a look of solemn approval, the other looking on with extreme devastation.

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A/N: So seriously, where is all the Minami-ke fanfiction?! D: I mean, there's a whole host of characters to write about! And this show is crazy funny, am I right? 3 Anywayz... Phew! First Minami-ke fanfiction: COMPLETE. Now all I need is the Chiaki stamp of approval xD

Hey You! Want more Minami-ke? Leave me a review so I know I'm on the right track ;) Or just to say you liked it...or you know, whatever...Reviews also make me write more stories faster :)