Disclaimer: I do not own the Chronicles of Narnia, nor do I make any money off of this work of my imagination.
Author's Note: This is my first attempt at Narnia fanfiction. While I have read, and love, all of the books this fic is based on the movieverse. Please leave a review if you have time! Happy reading.
They couldn't stay. The knowledge rested like a cold, heavy weight in his chest. It wasn't that he felt he needed them by his side to give him the confidence to rule. He had good, wise beings surrounding him, both Telmarine and Narnian alike. They would all help him. Narnians, he corrected his thoughts, no longer Telmarines and Narnians. They were all Narnian now. If the people were to believe it, the change would have to come from him first and foremost. High King Peter had expressed that to him in their last council session together this very afternoon just after they had ridden into the city victorious.
The High King's absence was the only one he felt he would not regret. If he stayed, High King Peter would constantly contradict Caspian in matters of state and war. He wouldn't mean to, Caspian knew, but he far too used to ruling himself. He would not be able to accept that there were others ways to rule than those he had once known and that Caspian would discover what would work for his people on his own. It was too hard for Peter to accept that things had changed. Caspian's Narnia was not the Narnia that the Peter had once known. Susan, Edmund, and Lucy seemed to have accepted the fact. Peter could not. Truthfully, he shouldn't have to. He was the High King from the Golden Age. His tactics, while not for Caspian's Narnia, would have been perfect for the times in which Peter ruled. His skill with a blade was second to none. Caspian was humble enough to admit that he would not have been able to defeat Miraz in a duel. But, Peter had. The first duel between himself and Peter had not been a proper showing of Peter's skill. Peter hadn't been in Narnia long enough at the time for his body to remember all it had once known. Caspian knew that if they were to duel now Peter would defeat him easily.
No, it was not the fact that Peter would be leaving that had him rubbing his chest hoping to ease the slight pain there. He respected the High King, but they would never be friends. He would miss Lucy. Who wouldn't? She was a bright ray of light and faithfulness, always sure of Aslan, always sure of herself. He knew he would miss her cheery face, especially when things would get to be difficult as he began his rule. He felt he knew Edmund least of all of the siblings. The younger of the brothers kept to himself mostly, always seeming to have a secret inside his dark eyes. Caspian would have liked the chance to get to know him better. He had a cool head for tactics, a wicked style of double blade fighting Caspian would have liked to have learned, and a calming presence that Caspian would miss.
Yes, he would miss Lucy and Edmund, but neither one of them were her. He frowned heavily as he watched the beautiful fireworks being set off in celebration of his coronation. He forced himself not to look at her as they exploded in the air, but he would imagine only all to well what she looked like with the beautiful lights reflected in her bright face. The blues, reds, and greens would only serve to illuminate her beauty and echo in her deep eyes. She was still in the courtly red and gold gown that she had worn to the coronation and he knew for a fact that he had never seen anyone more full of grace, beauty, and wisdom as she was when he had looked to her just after the professor had announced him king of Narnia. In that moment, she hadn't simply been Susan. She had been Queen Susan the Gentle. How was he ever supposed to let her go?
He could not say how she felt about him. All he could say he knew for certain was that in the short time he had known her, he had fallen completely and miserably in love with the elder Queen of the Golden Age. She was everything he had ever imagined the woman he would love being, when he had allowed himself to imagine at all. Strong, intelligent beyond compare, and beautiful enough to make his heart ache. How could it be that he had found the perfect woman for him and now she was to leave the world along with her siblings? Perhaps they would return some day, but even if they did, there was no guarantee he would even still be alive. The knowledge was hurting him in a way he had never been hurt before. It was a physical ache deep in his chest that sometimes left him breathless and wanting to crawl into bed. Was this what love was? What love truly was? If that was the truth of the matter, than he thought perhaps love was the worst kind of torture. He could resist no longer and dared to turn hid head to take a glance at her.
To his great surprise, she was looking back at him and he could see the love he felt reflected in her eyes. His heart pulled and settled. She smiled gently and reached out to take his hand in her own. Their fingers wove and he shared her smile before he turned to look at fireworks once more when she did. He was acutely aware off her as they watched the colors exploding in the sky, aware of her hand entwined with his, aware of her skirt just brushing his leg, aware of her breathing, which he matched without thinking. In the darkness that followed the fireworks, before the torches were lit he turned to her, put his free arm around her slender waist, and pulled her close. Her free hand was buried in his hair, clenching it in a manner that spoke to him of her eagerness that matched his own. From the moment their lips met and she opened to him so sweetly, allowing him to deepen the kiss, he knew that he would never love another in the way he loved her. He might marry, but there would never be a match to his heart like his gentle queen.
All too soon she pulled out of his arms. As he allowed his eyes adjust to the dim light growing brighter as more torches were lit he saw her walking away from him, her arm linked with Lucy's as they giggled over some female mystery he knew he was never meant to understand. It was as if their kiss had never happened and he found himself wondering briefly if it had. Then, she had turned the corner to go back into the castle and their eyes had met and he knew their stolen moment had been real. He hadn't been able to stop his smile as he walked to his chambers and dressed for bed. It was hours later, just as he had dozed off, that he was awoken by a gentle hand on his face.
"Susan…" he sat up. She set a finger to his lips to silence him and slipped into the bed next to him, laying them both down in the process. He wanted to tell her that they shouldn't, that they couldn't, but all thought flew from his head when she wrapped her arms around him and put her lips to his, opening in a kiss that was all at once hungry and loving, demanding and passionate. He lost himself in the taste of her, in the feel of her in his arms, in the quiet sounds of pleasure she was making from the back of her throat as the kiss continued. They lay on their sides, holding each other as close as was possible while they were still clothed. He couldn't help the moan that was torn from him as he caught her lip gently between his teeth when she hooked one beautiful, perfect leg around his hip and ground their cloth covered cores together.
"Caspian," his name escaped her lips even as she caught his hand and led it slowly to her thigh, never taking her eyes off of him. They both drew in their breath when his hand slipped under her thin night shift and slid upward, taking the cloth with it. When he reached the apex of her thighs, he hesitated, but she nodded and he continued, gently running two fingers over her heat. She bit her lip and closed her eyes and he was encouraged to continue. He gently nuzzled her breast through the thin fabric, and then took the cloth covered nipple in his mouth just as he slipped two fingers into her. She arched on a soft cry of pleasure, attempting to pull back a little. He wouldn't let her, using his mouth and fingers until she was writhing. He nipped her breast gently and drove his fingers into her one last time as she found her first release. She pulled his head up to hers even as she trembled and kissed him with an intensity that had him fighting for control.
He needn't have fought. He couldn't think as she fought with the laces to his sleeping breeches, then pulled the fabric down as soon as the laces were loose. He was ready for her, but surprised when she rose over him, forcing him onto his back, and took him inside of her in one swift thrust. She froze for just a moment and he realized that he'd taken her innocence. He whispered soothing words, set his hand to the space between her breasts to feel her heart beating. Her movements were slow at first, unsure. He set his free hand to her hip and helped her to set a rhythm that made both of them moan. He gasped and closed his eyes, gripping her hip a little more tightly, when she began to speed the rhythm. Caspian opened his eyes when he heard her cry out, felt her body clench around him. The sight of her, riding him in her release, hands fisted in her own hair as she threw her head back, his hand just between her breasts, made him lose his control and he poured himself into her.
He wrapped her in his arms as she collapsed on top of him, laying her head against his chest. After a time he felt her begin to shiver and shifted them so that he was spooning her closely to him and could pull the heavy blankets over both of them. They spoke quietly for a long time, discussing his childhood, hers, his love and grief for his father, her love for and devotion to her siblings. She told him how hard it was to be merely Susan Pevensie in England when she was Queen Susan the Gentle in Narnia. How hard it was to try to show interest in things like boys and clothes and make-up when she knew there was so much more beyond all of the childish things. He spoke to her candidly about how much Miraz's betrayal had hurt him. Of course, Miraz was not his father, but his uncle had been never given him any reason to be afraid or question his safety. Susan held him close to her as he finally allowed himself to release the emotions he had not as of yet allowed himself to process. When the emotional purge was over he rolled her onto her back and stretched himself out over her.
"Oh, yes," she murmured, finally pulling his sleeping shirt over his head, "Once more. Please, once more."
The loving was slow and gentle this time as they explored every inch of each other's bodies. She felt no shame as she cried out his name over and over when his head was between her legs nor when she was between his legs. By the time she came back up to him and he rolled her over and slid into her she was reduced to moans and gasps, small screams, beyond coherent thoughts and words. He was in the same state as they moved together. They linked their hands and opened their hearts completely to each other as they tumbled over the edge of pleasure together. They fell asleep entwined around each other.
Susan woke just as the sun was rising and rolled over to kiss the beautiful, sleeping king before she slipped out of the bed and went back to her own room. The servants came to wake her an hour later, helped her into the beautiful blue dress that she had picked specifically to draw Caspian's eye. She supposed she didn't need to do that anymore. She felt…numb as Aslan explained to herself and Peter that they would not be coming back. She felt numb as he created the door to their world. She stayed numb as she said her goodbyes to Caspian, one final kiss. She couldn't let herself feel. If she let herself feel she knew that her heart would break. So, she walked through the door in the air, went back to school.
Susan Pevensie, formerly Queen Susan the Gentle of Narnia, allowed herself to be numb until the day she realized that in their one perfect night together, she had conceived King Caspain the Tenth's child.