Summary ( full ) : In Between - A Study of A Girl Neither Living Nor Dead. Children learn through human experiences. Vampires recall experiences learned as humans - both do so with a grace that is inherent to their own kind. What happens when a child is born that is neither, how can a child learn human experiences if what they experience is never fully human?
A Brief AN: this was written as a one shot that is in the several thousand word count but I found it too much to read at once, so I've chopped it into drabble like chapters, then I decided I wasn't happy with the shortened chapters SO NOW IT'S A 2 PART STORY - IF YOU HAD READ THE FIRST TWO CHAPTERS THEY ARE IN THIS INSTALLMENT AS WELL AS A PART I HAVEN'T POSTED. =) I'm only slightly indecisive :p
In Between - A Study of A Girl Neither Living Nor Dead
There had been a collective sigh of relief when her growth began to slow. It was subtle of course, Rosalie and Jacob had continued to fuss over the most minute details, an almost obsessive frenzy to the way they watched and cared for her. The proud parents had stood back, pale hands linked and glowing; content that they could watch the child grow at a more manageable pace, not documenting each day as a year gone by.
Her brown hair glinted red in the sunlight, a light halo of copper almost as shiny and dazzling as the light that bounced off her parents as they led her out in the wooded area behind their cottage. Her teeth were sharp, not deadly, but pronounced, her bite as small and as stinging as that of a playful kitten. The thing with kittens is sometimes they don't realise how hard they can bite down.
By the time the Reneseme had reached what appeared to be the age of five her growth had slowed to a crawl, so much that the others began to kindle the hope that she might be able to attend school with other human children, and age just as they had as humans; celebrating birth each year, a normal, happy childhood. But she had never been normal, and she was not fully human, nor was she undead. She was unnatural, more unnatural than the existence of the Cullen's; she was a bridge between a gap that should not be connected, the link between living and dead, natural and unnatural.
There had been many worries prior to her birth; most had been in regards to Bella's safety and wellbeing. Once born there was the fear that she was growing too fast, living only to die shortly after- they had feared she would live to eighty in under a year. Reneseme had defied this of course, but her defiance was unpredictable and spastic; there was no else one like her. The only one of her kind she was alone in ways none of her friends and family could ever fathom: They did not know, could never truly know and understand her. She was the only one of her kind, and therein lay the problem.
The child was unnatural, wild and unpredictable. She had never been one to talk, this however, was never a concern because she lived in a household that accepted her touches as words, and thought nothing when she chose not to use oratory devices to communicate. This method also served as a shield: She was always a quiet child so there wasn't much notice when her touches became fewer and more reserved and her spoken words ceased entirely.
Her withdrawal at such a young age had begun to create a feeling of unease around her, and though it was barely noticeable at the time, this feeling would grow to encompass the household. This feeling first crept into the Cullen's brightly lit home on the morning of her seventh birthday, and settled over the group like a barely noticeable cloud; subtle but lingering enough to set a mood that could do nothing but darken over time.
Carlisle had produced the measuring tape with characteristic vampire speed and flourish. The half human had stood tall and silent as he took notes on her height, weight and width. The measuring had dwindled throughout the years from daily, to monthly, until it was an annual event, saved for the more memorable day of her birth. Reneseme had done nothing, said nothing as the air grew thick in response to Carlisle's frown. Moments later Edward's hand was on his shoulder, his face concerned as he followed the doctor's train of thought. The rest of the family stood confused, while Jacob twitched at the door, aching to right whatever was going wrong. His impatience broke the silence quickly demanding that Edward stopped hogging all the information and explain please. Carlisle had sighed and rubbed his forehead, before marking down her measurements and comparing them to the previous year's: there was no change, the child had stopped growing.
There had been a pregnant pause as the inhabitants digested this. Rosalie had frowned and left the room in a huff, her darling human child was not so human anymore- her motherly expiernce was incomplete as it was and she now she felt robbed entirely.
Jacob fled moments after; Edward caught a brief glimpse of his thoughts which oscillated between cursing the fact that she would never age enough for him to know her as a man does a woman, and cursing the fact that he would even be harbouring those thoughts when Reneseme was a child...which it seemed she would remained. Edward ignored Jacobs train of thought, too preoccupied with his daughter, who suddenly seemed so alien, so unknowable as she stood silently, observing the chaos around her.
Jasper remained impassive, absorbing the emotions of those around him and trying to placate them in himself. He rationalized it to himself and found he wasn't overly upset: He was fond of the child and at least this way she probably wouldn't pass away of old age.
Unable to see the girl's future Alice had furrowed her brow and grew increasingly frustrated over the limitations of her ability and the fact that Reneseme couldn't be categorized into a way that she would logically predict. Irritated she grabbed Jaspers hand and left the room, towing him along – wanting him to witness the comfort of her gifts as she predicted the weather, the stock market and tomorrows horoscopes missteps – just because she could.
Esme stood with her hand on Carlisle's shoulder as he rechecked his measurements, once, twice, three times over. Gentle and logical as she was, she thought that perhaps this was for the best and would avoid any complications later on down the road had the child continued to age at an unpredictable rate.
Edward and Bella stood in their familiar position, hands linked, eyes locked and heads bowed toward another. Though the news affected them more directly than any other of Reneseme's family, the parents hadn't figured out whether this was for better or for worse, instead they had sighed and turned to their daughter, awaiting her reaction to this. She was incredibly impassive, and did not offer a hand to convey her reaction. The immortal lovers turned to each other again and tried to figure out what this would all mean. Impartial to the disorder around her, Reneseme had tugged on her shoes and left the room quietly in search of something to occupy her wandering mind. Edward had frowned as she paused in the doorway, wanting to say something but he found he was lacking the words to talk to his daughter who now more than ever seemed so foreign, so different. She had smiled distantly, her seven year old legs adding a bounce to her step as she left.
It was then that they began to notice how lacking in human qualities she was, how inhuman she truly seemed. But it was more than that, for she lacked the hindsight and emotional grace of a vampire. She was both and she was neither; a hybrid that was just begging to show flaws that had never seemed to exist in either race before. And so the problems crept up slowly, unnoticed or ignored at first as they appeared.
When age and ageing ceases to have meaning, time passes differently. This was apparent in Jacob and all of the Cullen's but it was different in her case, they had had the time do reach adult hood and as each year passed she remained in the exact likeness of a six year old. She was a twelve year old adolescent in the body of a child half her age. The girl's constant silence and childlike appearance caused outsiders to treat her like a kid, her curls were tugged, and her cheeks pinched in public. Bella had often laughed at the antics and her daughter never said anything to stop these situations from playing out, Reneseme only smiled a vague impassive smile and touched her mother's arm lightly to let her know she wanted to go home.
A child so quiet and charming and seemingly innocent can get away with alot before others become aware. Edward had blocked her thoughts out of a fatherly courtesy, his protective nature often left him curious but his old fashioned upbringing left the girl her privacy. One Christmas however, he had given in to his inquisitive nature leaned in to listen to gauge her reaction to a present.
He was stunned by what he heard.
Her smile had been charming, brilliant, but her thoughts revealed that she cared not about the toy, but even more so revealed she could care less about the giver of the toy, her father.
And then Edward had frowned, his lips a tight line as he pulled Carlisle to his office and paced around the room anxiously. He was beginning to realise her true nature, and the heart of the matter was that nothing could be done – there was nothing wrong with her other than her inherent nature and that couldn't have been helped. For the first time in almost thirteen years Edward had wished he had acted on his baser instincts and not let Bella carry the pregnancy to term. His daughter existence he realized was wholly unnatural. And then torn between his confusion, regret and the irrevocable love he harboured for his child he had fled to the trees, running he hoped would clear his head, after that he would have to confront Bella.
The child was not human, but neither was she vampire and that was the crux of the issue.
Humans are emotional, are flighty and are weak, but are full of feeling none the less. Vampires are not flighty in the slightest but they are experienced: All vampires were once human, before a vampire is turned they have had time to absorb human traits; empathy, sympathy, compassion, fear and love. The girl had never been fully human; the girl had never absorbed any human experiences because she could never experience them as a human – nor could she look back as a vampire. Instead her experiences were filtered through the light of her hybrid existence, alive and dead at once and completely devoid of human emotion.
Bella had frowned at Edwards's concerned rant, her eyes flickered between her anguished lover and her daughter outside, who was wandering unaware through the backyard. Bella had turned to face Edward fully, her teeth tugging at her lip, her eyes thoughtful.
"So what does this mean?"
This idea popped into my head while I was thinking about the character of Renesemee , whom I've never fully believed in or been really happy with. Anyways I was thinking about Vampires, children, what we learn as children and and what wouldn't be learned if one was immortal, or partially a vampire from birth. I know this seems OOC but we never really got much of Renesemee's character to begin with - shes beautiful yes, has Bella's eyes yes, is charming yes and has the ability to communicate with touch yes - but she is also unnatural and illogical even in the twiligh universe so I thought I'd play around with that idea. ( haha I hope I'm making sense)....
I totally though the name was spelt Reneseme , the extra E at the end just threw me off so I appologize if there is inconsistancies in the spelling throughout the fic. This may be a three parter I'm not fully done the end so we'll see how long it ends up.
also on a side note -I'm not too sure how "old" Renesemee got towards the end of breaking dawn, so I'll be playing around with her age as well - In this fic she is outwardly a seven year old child, just as Edward is outwardly an 17 yeard old boy.
I do realise I am playing around with the Twilight universe a bit ( for example the mention of the other half/human half vampire in BD), so in that sense this is definitely AU, so please regard it as such ...
Reviews would be amazing, this is my first twilight based piece so feedback would be great =)