From His Excerpts

Status: Crossover between Naruto (during timeskip) and Harry Potter (Goblet of Fire timeline). Kakashi-centric. A drabble-esque series all linked to two main plots.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter.

Take One: All Aboard (the Crazy Express)

The white knight astride the stallion was a beautiful, wooden figurine standing proudly at its square on the board. Made from hardy oak with a fine gossamer coat, delicate carvings detailed the body, giving it a rosy life-like appearance. The hooves on the splendid creature were carefully crafted with silver metal and magnificent ruby gems were inset at the heels. Fine-spun gold swayed gently, tail fanned to catch the dim glow of fading sunset light.

Kakashi Hatake placed a gentle finger on top of this stallion's head, frowning in mock concentration. Moving the white knight against the 'opponent' – himself, naturally – the fierce chess piece smashed through the black rook mercilessly, woodchips flying.

"How interesting…"

The white knight bucked in acknowledgement, glittering hooves kicking air.

"You just destroyed the second black rook…How am I supposed to explain this mess to Professor Dumbledore?"

A demure figure, the ivory queen scoffed, pretty hands placed complacently at the front. Opposite her, the onyx pawn tilted left and right, antsy, seeing that the white knight was now free to attack it. The aforementioned horse pawed the game board, snuffing loudly.

"Hmm…" Absently fiddling with his black-dyed hair, the Hatake pushed the elegant black bishop dressed with flowing robes towards the white pawn. In a heartbeat, the bishop viciously smashed the tiny pawn to pieces and checked the creamy-coloured king. Almost fretful (if he had to label an emotion), the ivory queen glanced over her shoulder to watch her king, a clear scowl etched on the sweet face.

Self-satisfied, he smiled behind the scarf wrapped around his neck and face, "Violent game pieces…What a novelty."

Prodding the white rook nearest the king, he began to contemplate the next steps but a quiet shuffling outside the door broke his concentration. Glancing up discreetly, he saw no one silhouetted in the frosted window.

Instead, a gentle knock reverberated through the room and a voice hailed outside, "Oh? I hope I'm not interrupting Mr. Hatake."

"No. Not at all." Ah. The tiny Professor. That explained things.

The door to the train compartment inched open and Professor Flitwick smiled from the entrance, appraising, "The others were wondering where you went…hrm…" There was an awkward pause when Kakashi didn't answer. "Well, playing wizard's chess, are you?"

Careful to hide his ire, Kakashi nodded, staring as the diminutive professor sat opposite him in the train compartment. He started, trying to be polite, "It is rather fascinating but I'm afraid some of the pieces…" Slouched in his seat, he waved at what was left of the figurines – fragments, really – and continued, "Unless there is a magic spell to fix them…?"

Eager eyes gleamed. "Oh yes! Once the game concludes, the pieces will regenerate to their original forms. It's a rather interesting type of charms work that is still under theoretical study…"

And so Kakashi diligently listened to Flitwick go off tangent and ramble about the theory of 'Inanimate Regeneration'. Glancing as the scenery outside blurred in relative motion, he wondered if the information will help with the research he was conducting…

…After all, he had a Mangekyou Sharingan to activate.

(Three weeks prior…)

"Only fifteen minutes late, Kakashi?" The steel-edged voice mocked him. "I'm honoured."

"Of course, Hokage-sama," agreed the scuffled Copy ninja complacently when he entered the office. "I hear you have another mission for me."

Tsunade seemed to brighten. Kakashi did not like the omen.

"Oh I do," started the Slug Princess as she tossed him a very thick scroll. "The client requested your participation for this solo mission. A-ranked at most."

"Really," was all he could offer as he hefted the scroll (the size of his head!) under his arm. "And what kind of mission is this?"

"Hm. Apparently, the client wishes for your expertise in your renowned team work."

"I didn't know I was renowned for team work…" muttered the shinobi absently with an undertone of doubt.

"And he's offering a rather large payment for your services."

Kakashi narrowed his eyes when Tsunade's grin widened; she was clearly enjoying his growing unease.

"And what would my 'team work' be needed for."

The Hokage simpered. "Oh…He mentioned that you'll be there to help keep a few hundred students in line."

At that very instant, he was glad for the mask hiding his growing horror. "A few…hundred…students?"

"Yes. Students." She clarified further, "Students that perform magic in a wizardry school."

"But Tsunade-sama. Magic and ninja do not mix-!"

"Don't give me that bull, Kakashi. Konoha needs the money," she cut in before he could further rebuke. "Besides, I know you've been messing around with the Sharingan." With a medic's precision, she analyzed her fatigued soldier. "Don't tell me that you aren't exhausted trying to figure out a way to reach the next level."

Sharingan Kakashi crossed his arms rather defiantly (and childishly) but didn't respond against the accusation.

"I am hoping access to new possibilities and information will help your goal. Perhaps you'll exercise more innovation without shinobi tradition and theory binding you down." Tsunade leaned back against her chair. "And before you ask, yes, the client knows that you'll be doing research so this is, indirectly, arranged for your benefit."

Rather than feeling thankful, Kakashi scoffed lightly, lone grey eye boring down his Hokage. He would much rather do this without intervention and it seemed Tsunade, perceptive, picked up on his sentiments.

But she did not pursue the matter as she changed subjects. "The scroll you now carry contains a very detailed account of your mission parameters. It will also give you an in-depth look into the culture and magic situated in the outer continents. Learn it. Memorize it. You will be leaving at the scheduled time three nights from now and I expect you to know the material then." Her eyes glowed furiously. "And. Don't. Be. Late."

"Yes, Hokage-sama." Kakashi raised a careful eyebrow heavenwards. Since when has he been purposefully late for a crucial mission?

"I expect weekly updates, Kakashi, so don't think it will be an easy eleven months-" She skilfully ignored the sigh. "-because I will also be sending you side missions to accomplish during your stay at the wizardry institute."

"Of course, Hokage-sama."

"And here." Tsunade threw another object at him and he caught the thick book with little difficulty. "It is a gift from the client. He says this book will help you learn the necessary language so that you can interact with the natives."

Before the Copy ninja could bat another eyelash (or protest), the Hokage of Konoha waved her hand glibly.


And that was three weeks ago.

Shortly after his arrival, he learned the language and theory of magic fervently. He even allowed himself to be assimilated into the strange culture, garbing in the cumbersome robes and eating the peculiar hearty food. Apparently, the other wizards – his 'colleagues' – mentioned he was now equivalent to a slightly knowledgeable squib – with an accent.

How heartening.

(The anticipation. The arrival. The joy when he found out that the students were still on vacation…)

Touching the dirty shoe – no, portkey that could supposedly transport him from one hidden continent to another – had landed him in a giant lake.


And so, floundering in the water with his baggage like a waterlogged puppy, he was about to call up his chakra when a slimy, thick something enclosed around his middle and tossed him out of the water and into air.

A quick glance downwards and his visible eye widened. A giant squid.

A giant squid had just thrown him like a ragdoll.

A giant squid.

"Definitely not in Fire Country anymore…"

He twisted in midair, catching sight of the dense tree lines and a magnificent castle, before ninja grace returned and he landed smartly on his feet. Unfortunately for him, the soft springy ground offered no resistance and he easily sunk into mud.

Resigned, Kakashi ran a hand through wet hair and extricated himself from the dirt trap. "Great. Great…Really great start."

And then he got lost. (Hogwarts school grounds and the accompanying forest were rather impressive though.)

It was dusk when he arrived at the edge of the castle. He then took time to stare at a fascinating, knobby tree before the branches began to move and attempted to decapitate his head.

And after a few circles along the perimeter, he got tagged by a giant overtly-friendly, yet still wary, dog, tongue lolling and jaws snapping warningly.

He eyed the man accompanying said interesting, schizophrenic hound and came to one swift conclusion.

"The owner of the dog is huge." And he was. If Kakashi had to estimate, the man was perhaps two normal heads taller than him. Curiously, he also smelled a bit drunk.

But regardless, he forged on, fumbling through the foreign language spectacularly. "Ah…Esthcuse me?"

There was a small shocked pause. The Groundskeeper of Hogwarts towered over the silver-haired shinobi, eyeing the slighter man, before he rumbled uncertainly, "…Uh…Yea?"

(Afterwards, Rubeus Hagrid would reflect back and ponder how the lisp could sound that endearing from a – in his point of view – frightened, soaked foreigner.

…He later concluded that it was probably the fire whiskey he drank earlier that same day.)

"Ah, you must be Mr. Hatake." The elderly man standing behind the portly desk held quite an apologetic air. "I am terribly sorry. There must have been a mistake with the portkey. Rather, it was supposed to send you directly to this office…"

"No harm done." Good. Someone that spoke his language. Kakashi slipped cold fingers into his pockets before commenting candidly, "It only dumped me into a lake."

A few of the portraits lined behind the aged wizard snickered-coughed into closed fists.

"Believe me, that was most unintentional," smiled the man sincerely. His client – he must be his client – introduced himself, "And where are my manners? My name is Professor Albus Percival Wulric Brian Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

Glancing at the wizened face and then the offered hand, Kakashi, instead, opted to bow curtly. "Kakashi Hatake."

"Please, take a seat." To Kakashi's fascination, the wizard used magic to conjure him a rather comfy looking chair. As they both took their seats, Dumbledore started the pleasantries, "I am quite delighted that you agreed to the terms of this mission, Mr. Hatake."

He returned the greetings with equal diplomacy. "It was an interesting offer that Konoha couldn't refuse."

"Good. Good. As I am sure you have it gleaned from what little information I left in the scroll for you-"

"…You left quite a bit to digest, actually…"

"-tensions are rather high within our community. With the attempted rising of Voldemort-"

Here, the shinobi nodded, having read the details of the evil overlord. Frankly, he was rather interested on the uncanny parallels one could draw between this Voldemort character and Orochimaru.

"-I believe it is imperative that the wizarding community stand together, united." Dumbledore paused. "And so to strengthen the ties between wizardry factions, Hogwarts is hosting the Triwizard Tournment this year, a prestigious competition that will hopefully bring goodwill to all."

"Hm. That's what they said about the chuunin exams." Kakashi mentally shook his head. "And we all know how well that turned out."

"And this is where your team work comes into play. With confidence, I leave you with one role: to spark school spirit and unite the four houses of Hogwarts under one banner."

"…What?" Kakashi's brain briefly halted all higher functions. "Wait…Now it's called 'sparking school spirit'?! Is he sure he's got the right man for the job? He should've asked Gai…" Of course, he didn't directly question his paying client; instead he warned, monotone, "School spirit, professor? I am a rather introverted man."

"Ah, I admire your humbleness but I trust your Hokage greatly. She was quite adamant that you were the best man for the job, Mr. Hatake."

"Thank you for the compliment." Kakashi's hidden left eye twitched. "Thank you very much, Hokage-sama. So the client was asking for my participation, huh? Hmn…Or did you push me to the job?"

Dumbledore smiled pleasantly, seemingly oblivious to the sudden ill will. "I have also been notified of your vested interest in research. During your stay here, you will be allowed access to the books within our school library. All I hope is that you will find what you are looking for."

At the mention of gaining more knowledge, Kakashi reined in his ire. "Your hospitality is greatly appreciated, professor." He then added lightly, "And as for my identity during the stay…"

"Yes, I do agree that you will need an alias or at least a different background. Wizards are still quite hesitant of the people living in the war-torn, hidden nations."

"As to be expected; that can be arranged." Kakashi mournfully looked down at his jounin uniform and mentally prepared his goodbyes to functional clothing. "I can change my appearance to better suit the culture."

"Perfect." The Professor glanced at him from half-moon glasses. "I can only apologize that you're allowed a short month to prepare before the students return…"

"…About that. I will need more time to be proficient with your language."

The wizard seemed genuinely amused "Your Hokage did mention that you were a fast learner. I shouldn't be surprised, should I, that you are worrying about proficiency after three days of exposure to our language?" Dumbledore then asked, a tad eager, "Are you finding the language dictionary I sent you easy to understand?"

"The book is very convenient, professor." Kakashi connected the dots. "I suppose you wrote it?"

"That's correct." Dumbledore hummed pleasantly. "But in any case, Mr. Hatake, you won't have to worry yet. The other professors will help ease you into the role as the Inter-House Relations Deputy."

"Inter-House Relations Deputy?" Kakashi rolled his eyes. He needed a better title. But first things first…"The other professors will not be notified of my identity."

"Of course. That information is strictly confidential." Dumbledore twinkling eyes met his passively relieved stare. "You will be meeting the staff - well, the ones who returned from their vacations - tomorrow at breakfast. For now, let me show you to your living quarters for the school year…"

When he was finally left alone in his new room, he glanced at the mirror and mumbled crossly, "Now to make myself more presentable…"

Straightened, short black hair fell softly around his crown, which was a far-cry from his usual style – silver-hair spiked upwards. Adjusting the formal white shirt and respectable black pants, he smoothed down the flowing black cloak provided, fiddling with the silver clasp. His only reassurance was that at least they weren't colourful like Dumbledore's purple and yellow-starred robes.

He pulled the hood over his head. Inspected. Nodded.

He then took off the hood and fixed the red scarf hiding his neck and a good portion of his face. The left eye – closed – was exposed. In his opinion, the scar provided a much more haunting effect.

Fingerless, Konoha standard gloves and thick-soled military boots – clean but heavy – were put on. He'll have to adjust the footgear later.

But there was still something off.

He checked again. All his hidden weapons and scrolls were in place. His Konoha hitae-ate was wrapped around his ANBU tattoo underneath all the clothes.

Then what was wrong?

At that point, his nose was so close to the mirror that the mirror herself had to respond. "You look perfectly fine, dearie."

Kakashi jumped, and pulled a punch. Spontaneously talking mirror.

The mirror shrieked and was shattered to pieces. The portrait of a little man hung across the room made a scandalized noise.

He stared at bruised, bloodied knuckles and sighed. With practiced ease, he went to the attached bathroom and cleaned the wound. He then took out a roll of bandages and wrapped his injured right hand. Flexing the appendage experimentally, he caught his reflection on the bathroom mirror and it suddenly came to him.

He looked like an absolute dork dressed as a wizard.


A/N: Say hello to my side-project. Side-project, say hello to the readers.