Disney owns the characters; I'm just taking them for a test drive.
We are completely out of our minds, Stacy Hopkins thought to herself. She and her fraternal twin sister Tracy were in a Lowerton junkyard, about to charge an armor clad, mullet wearing reject from the 1980's, armed with old table legs that they were brandishing like war clubs. I guess it's official, Stacy mused. I've gotta be crazy, in love, or both. Never before had she even entertained the thought of facing a heavily armed super villain to save a boy. But then again, Jim Possible was no ordinary boy, and she was sure her sister would say the same thing about Tim.
Tracy adjusted her grip on the table leg. It was a lot different from the softball bat she was used to; it was a lot heavier. Tracy and her sister were well known on the softball team for their ability to hit one out of the park, partially because they used to play baseball with their dad and older brother. "We'd better do this if we're doing it," she said.
"Then let's do it." The Hopkins twins quietly left their hiding place. Jim, Tim, Kim, and an unconscious Ron were in the sights of Motor Ed, who was wearing a suit of armor that was made from a mobile exoskeleton and his motorcycle. He had pulse lasers on his forearms that were glowing an angry red, just waiting to be unleashed upon their victims.
"I'm gonna do something cousin Drew and She-babe were never able to do. Seriously," Ed taunted. "You're finally goin' down, Red. Yeaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!"
Motor Ed's air guitar solo was just the opening Stacy and Tracy needed. They bolted from behind a small mountain of refuse and charged towards him. At once, they lifted their improvised weapons over their heads like war hammers and brought them down hard on Motor Ed's arm mounted pulse lasers, knocking one off of its mooring and bending the barrel of the other.
"Hey! Babes aren't supposed to mess up my gear! Seriously."
"Stacy/Tracy!" the Tweebs cried out in unison.
"Like I said," Kim said in a relieved voice, "they listen about as well as you Tweebs do." She took advantage of the momentary distraction. She grabbed Ron, trying to be mindful of his head injury, and ran for cover. The Tweebs, Stacy and Tracy were right behind her. As soon as they found a suitable hiding place, she gave the girls an appreciative look. "You two kinda sorta rock. You know, for a couple of Tweebettes."
"Hey!" the newly nicknamed duo protested.
"Relax, it's a compliment," Tim said.
"At least, it better be." Jim had a very stern look on his face, telling his sister he was serious.
"Trust me, it was," Kim said. "What other surprises did you guys build into that over glorified Erector Set?"
"Just the pulse lasers," Jim said.
"And the power cell only has a quarter charge." The tone of Tim's voice told Kim that there was a 'but' coming.
"Tell me it's not a nanotronium power cell," Kim pleaded.
"It's not a nanotronium power cell," the Tweebs said in unison.
"Okay, now make me believe it."
"It really isn't," Jim said. "But it's pretty close. Even though it only has a quarter charge, it'll still be about five days before it runs out of juice."
"Sorry, sis," Tim said. "This was the best we could do with him constantly looking over our shoulders. We do have a couple of advantages, though. I mean, he can't move all that fast when he's in full armor, just because of how much mass there is."
"And he'll find out that we never actually built the neural transcribers, so driving the bike won't be as easy as he thought it would be." Jim shook his head. "Too bad he found the shut down, though."
"Can you keep it down," a weak voice asked. "I'm trying to take an honor nap."
"Ron!" Kim hugged her husband as tightly as she dared. "Are you okay?"
"That depends," he replied. "Are we hiding behind a pile of old sneakers?"
"Yeah, we are."
"Then I don't think I'm okay." Ron sat up and rubbed the side of his head.
"At least we can get out of this now," Jim said. "Ron just has to go all monkey fu and take Motor Ed apart!"
"Yeah," Tim agreed. "Go on, Ron! Monkey up!"
"What are they talking about?" Stacy asked, clearly confused.
"Long story," Kim said. "Guys, I really don't think Ron's up to it."
"Sure he is!" Jim protested.
"Yeah! Go for it, Ron!"
"Can't focus," Ron muttered.
"So what else is new?" Tim demanded.
"Yeah, you can never focus!"
"Why are there four of you guys?" Ron asked. He looked like he was going to black out again.
"Ron! Stay with me, baby." Kim sat Ron up and got Wade Load on the Kimmunicator. "I need a med scan, Wade! Ron took a steel pipe to the head. He just regained consciousness and it sounds like he's seeing double."
A green beam emanated from the communications device. "He's got a concussion, all right. I'll alert the Lowerton PD and have them send a S.W.A.T. team and an ambulance."
"Please and thank you, Wade." Kim gave her brothers a look. "Did you guys ever get around to installing that electromagnetic pulse generator in the Sloth?"
"'Fraid not, Kim," Tim said.
"The parts are still on order." Jim thought for a minute. "But me might be able to jerry rig something out of all this trash."
"Great! You guys stay here and work on that." Kim looked down at the naked mole rat who had ventured out of Rons pocket. "Rufus, you make sure Ron stays awake." She knelt beside her husband and kissed his cheek. "I'll be back soon, honey."
"I've got your back, KP," Ron said as he tried to stand up.
"Whaoh! Hold on, Ron." Kim grabbed Ron's arm and tried to get him to sit back down. "You're in no shape to go tangling with Motor Ed right now. You want to have my back? You stay here out of sight, and stay awake." Ron nodded weakly in agreement. Even with a concussion he knew that he wouldn't win this argument.
Kim went into mission mode and surveyed her troops. "Okay, here's the sitch; Jim and Tim are going to find some way of stopping mullet brain's new toy." Kim looked directly at the Tweebettes. "Stacy, Tracy, since Ron's on injured reserve right now, I'll need you two to back me up. You're about to get a crash course in freak fighting."
Motor Ed figured out pretty quickly that he had just a little more mobility than a cinder block when in full armor, and that those look-a-likes geeks hadn't hooked in the advanced drive system. But that didn't matter; Ed didn't need any help to cruise. He had disengaged the armor and gunned the bike's engine, letting the roar fill his ears. Aw yeah. This is wicked. Seriously . Ed peeled out, sending refuse spraying up behind him as the rear tire tried to find traction. The armored motorcycle lurched forward, sending the front wheel up in the air in a triumphant wheelie; Ed wailed like a madman the whole time.
"I've never been in a fight before," Tracy told Kim. "I don't think I'm gonna be much use."
"Trying to fight Ed hand to hand is such the bad idea, Tracy," Kim said. "Right now he's pretty effectively untouchable. What we need to do is slow him down and buy some time for the Tweebs to figure something out."
"Or," Stacy said in a thoughtful tone, "we could try to see what kind of damage we can cause." She looked over at her sister and Kim. "Hey, Trace, you remember the last time Scott came home from college?"
Tracy's face twisted into a devious smirk. "Basebomb?"
"Oh yeah!" her sister agreed.
"Basebomb?" Kim didn't know what that was, but she liked the sound of it.
"A little game we used to play with our brother Scott," Tracy explained. "Basically, it's just hitting a ball as hard as you can and seeing how much damage it does when it hits a target." She looked arouond at the small, solid objects strewn about their feet. "In this case, the balls are the junk lying around...."
"And that motor guy is the target," Stacy finished.
"Spankin,'" Kim said. "It looks like I get to take a page from my husband's book then. I'll keep Motor Ed busy, you let 'em fly!"
Jim and Tim quickly determined that devising any sort of jamming device wouldn't work. The only electronic equipment they had available were their Jim and Timmunicators, the Ronlink, and the gear in the Sloth. They were cut off from the Sloth, and having Wade drive it by remote control to them could give away their position to Motor Ed, so that option was out. They also knew that, if their plan didn't work, they might need the communicators to call for help, which meant cannibalizing them for parts was a really bad idea. So they brainstormed, knowing that time was not on their side.
"Why don't we put together an immobilizer?" Jim asked his twin. "We can make a cannon that'll shoot some kind of gumming agent to keep him from moving."
"Nah," Tim replied. "What we need is one of those big electromagnets they use to put cars in the crushers! We can wire it into a portable magnetic blaster and turn that grease monkey into a jumbo refrigerator magnet."
Wade had been monitoring things from his end, and had built a computer model of the armor based on the Tweebs' descriptions. "Maybe we're going about this the wrong way. Instead of stopping the whole system, we just need to disable one part of it."
The Tweebs grinned deviously. "If we block some of the chest plate interface points on the exoskeleton," Jim started.
"Then the whole thing will go into a default safe mode and shut down," Tim finished. "Way to go, Wade!"
"And I think I know how to do it," Jim said, looking over at Rufus, who was describing a gigantic block of jarlsberg cheese to Ron in order to keep him awake. "We need to make one more suit of armor."
The last thing Motor Ed expected was for Kim Stoppable to just give up. But here she was, standing right in front of where he was riding, making no attepts to defend herself. Ed stopped the bike and triggered the armor deployment system. "What did I tell you, Red? I'm gonna do what cousin Drew and those other losers couldn't do. You're goin' down! Seriously."
"I don't think so, squirrel head. Now!" As soon as Kim dove out of the way, there were two loud cracks, followed by Ed being pelted by a couple of soup cans.
"Hey! No denting the duds. Seriously."
As soon as he uttered those words, Ed was asaulted by more makeshift bat propelled projectiles. Pieces of masonry, old golf balls, even the occasional shoe rained down on him. A skateboard wheel nailed Ed between the eyes and shattered the clear plastic shell that guarded his face. "All right, that's it! Seriously it is!" Ed charged up the pulse laser on his left arm, the only one he had been able to salvage after the Tweebettes' last attack, and fired off a barrage of hot plasma at where the rain of garbage had come from.
"Hey, mullet head!" Kim taunted. "I thought you were after me!"
"I'll get to you in a minute, Red. Seriously. No one puts dings in my armor and gets away with it."
Kim threw a brick at Ed, cracking the engine housing on his back. "You were saying?"
"That's it, Red! I'm through playin' around. Seriously!"
Kim executed a spin kick, nailing Ed in the face. He staggered back, just in time for more garbage missiles to add to the damage on his back. Ed tore off his ruined helmet, threw it to the ground, and glared at Kim. "That's the last time you wreck my ride, Red! Seriously."
Rufus wrinkled his nose at the modified coffee can he was being asked to wear. It had been segmented, molded to fit his small body, and fitted with a special spring loaded extension system that would turn it from a suit of armor to a big problem for Motor Ed. Rufus, however, wasn't having it. It still smelled like stale coffee.
"Come on, Rufus," Tim pleaded. "We need you to do this!"
"Nuh uh." Rufus was standing firm. "Smells gross."
"We'll give you some nice cheese," Jim said, trying to entice the naked mole rat.
"Guys, you're doing this all wrong." Ron stumbled over to his pet. "KP needs you, buddy. My brains are too scrambled to go monkey style on Motor Ed, so we need you. You want to help Kim, right?"
"Uh huh," Rufus agreed.
"Then you gotta wear the can! KP's counting on you, Rufus."
Rufus narrowed his eyes and looked at the offending piece of metal. Kim was his person every bit as much as Ron was. Smelling like dead coffee was worth it if she needed him.
Motor Ed was pelted with another shower of garbage before he could aim his pulse laser. "Stop it! Seriously!"
That momentary distraction was all Kim needed. She grabbed an old hubcap and hurled it at Ed's arm. The metal disk sailed through the air and impacted Ed's forearm, knocking the pulse laser off its mooring again. Before he could retrieve it, Kim lunged for it and snatched it from right under Ed's nose. "Looking for this?"
"Give that back! Seriously!"
Kim saw one of her brothers out of the corner of her eye. He took off running, signaling her to follow him. "You have to catch me first." Kim broke into a sprint and disapperaed behind a pile of old oven ranges.
"No one jacks my guns. Seriously." Ed hit a button on his forearm, causing the motorcycle components that made up his armor to disengage from the exoskeleton and recombine in their vehicular configuration. Motor Ed tore off after his prey.
"He's coming!" Jim yelled, running towards his brother. Kim and Motor Ed were hot on his heels.
Tim had set up a makeshift slingshot, with the coffee can clad Rufus as the projectile. Ron was acting as a lookout, even though he was still a little groggy. "She's almost there, Tim," Ron called over the Timmunicator.
When Kim saw what her brothers had set up, she dove out of the way. As soon as Motor Ed was in range, Tim opened fire and sent Rufus flying. The naked mole rat let out a war squeak as he flew towards the mad mechanic. Rufus landed in the gap in the exoskeleton's chest area that the front end of the motorcycle connected to. He pulled a chord on the front of his own chest plate which triggered a spring mechanism, causing the chest, back, and shoulder pieces of Rufus' coffee can armor to shoot out and cover the chest gap and plug the interface points.
"That's it? Seriously?" Ed reached for Rufus, but before he could get his hands on the hairless rodent, Rufus hit a large button on the harness that held him in his coffee can armor, ejecting him and sending him far from Motor Ed's grasp. "That was a lame plan. Seriously it was." Ed yanked the metal sheets from the exoskeleton's chest and threw them to the ground. He smirked and pressed the activation button on his forearm.
Immediately his motorcycle broke apart and the components aligned themselves along the exoskeleton. But when the front end tried to connect to the chest interface, the whole thing whined to a halt. "What the hell?" Ed asked in surprise. "Seriously, what's goin' on?"
Stacy and Tracy sprinted up just in time to hear the whole system power down. Ed was standing in the midst of several pieces of heavy machinery, some had connected to his exoskeleton, some hadn't. He was completely unable to move. "Not so tough now, are you?" Stacy taunted.
"Hey!" Ed protested. "Wait till I get out of this thing, seriously. You clone dudes are gonna go down so hard for this. Seriously."
"I think not." Tracy grabbed a handful of Ed's long hair.
"Don't mess up the 'do! Seriously."
Stacy produced a rusty pair of gardening shears and held them dangerously close to Ed's locks. "You wanna rethink that little threat of yours?"
"I give! Seriously! Just don't cut the mullet!"
The Tweebettes shared a victorious grin.
Kim reached down and picked up the metal fragments Ed had ripped from his chest. Several pieces had broken off and remained firmly lodged in some of the interface locks. "Kind of a low tech approach for you guys, don't you think?"
Jim took the fragments from his sister. "Sometimes simpler works better."
"Besides," Tim said, "we were kinda limited on materials and time. But it worked. We blocked a few of the interface junctures on the exoskeleton."
"That obstruction triggered a failsafe in the suit," Jim added. "It shut itself down instead of getting jammed trying to armor up." He gave Ed a smug look. "Too bad we never built in the escape hatch for the suit whenever it does go into safe mode."
"Sorry, dude," Tim smirked, "but you're stuck for a while. Seriously."
Stacy and Tracy hugged their boyfriends, happy that the whole mess was over. The bad guy was stopped, Jim and Tim were safe, and they could hear the police sirens in the background.
"Are you okay?" Kim asked her husband when he came dwon from his lookout point.
"I will be as soon as this fifty alarm headache goes away, KP." He looked over at Rufus, who was vigorously trying to rid himself of the stale coffee stench. "I think Rufus is gonna need a bath."
"We'll take care of that when we get home, Ron." Kim gently kissed Ron on the lips. "The paramedics will be here soon to make sure you're okay. Next time power up before you get clubbed with a metal pole, okay?"
The Tweebs and Tweebettes were about to get into a police cruiser for the return trip to Middleton when Kim walked up to them. Ron was being looked over by the EMT's, the goons Kim had taken out earlier were in custody, and Motor Ed was being loaded onto a flatbed tow truck so he could be taken to the impound lot to be cut out of the armor. The mission was over, but Kim Stoppable had a little bit of unfinished business to attend to.
"Wade's gonna autopilot the Sloth back to Mom and Dad's place," Kim told the Tweebs and their girlfriends. "I'm going to ride in the ambulance with Ron. I've already told our 'rents and my in-laws what's going on, and they're gonna meet us there." Kim smiled at her brothers' girlfriends. "Good work out there. Like I said, for a couple of Tweebettes, you're not bad. Just no Tweeb Speak."
"Hickabickaboo?" Stacy asked her twin.
Kim rolled her eyes. "Very funny." Kim led the girls away from the police car for a moment. "I'm really sorry I harshed on you so bad earlier. Believe it or not, I do like you two. The fact that you were willing to risk your lives to save my brothers says a lot. I may not always get along with them, and they are pain in the neck Tweebs, but they're still my brothers; the only baby brothers I'll ever have." A serious, almost dangerous look crossed Kim's face. "Just remember that I know sixteen forms of kung fu, and Ron's mastered Tai Sheng Pek Kwar. Not to mention the fact that there are a lot of people all over the world who owe us a favor. If you hurt my brothers in any way, well...... just make sure you don't."
Kim's unspoken threat hung heavy in the air as she walked off. Stacy and Tracy shared an amused and worried look. "I'd hate to see how she treats girls she doesn't like," Tracy said.
Dr. Anne Possible watched her sons laughing with their girlfriends. Her son-in-law was in the Hopkins' backyard working his magic on their grill, and her husband and daughter were having a nice chat with Stacy and Tracy's mother Wendy. It was bad enough that Anne actually liked the Tweebettes, and that said girls risked their lives to save her sons, but the fact that she got along really well with their parents was almost too much. This has to be how James felt with Ron, she thought. Nathan Hopkins, a stocky man with a shaved head, sat down beside Anne with a bit of a sigh. "Ron banished you from the grill, didn't he, Nathan?"
"Worse," Nathan replied, "he let me taste his marinade for the steaks. He's just too good!"
"Hey, at least you're not being shown up by your son-in-law," Anne snickered. "I get that on a regular basis. Although, it is nice to go over to their house for dinner. Sometimes not having to cook is worth the drive to Upperton. Not to mention the fact that he always sends us home with leftovers."
Nathan gave the neurosurgeon and understanding look. "I know how you're feeling, Anne. I don't like the idea of my little girls dating. Nothing against your sons, they're great kids, it's just..."
"They're growing up too fast," Anne said, finishing his sentence. "James thinks it's really funny that I'm acting the same way he did when Kimmie first started dating. Although, I've never threatened to put anyone in a deep space probe heading for a black hole." Now she was glad she never made the brain transplant threat.
"What goes around comes around, I guess," Nathan conceded. "Make you a deal, Anne, if you don't get crazy overprotective, then neither will I."
Anne smiled and shook Nathan's hand. "Deal."
"All right, people, food's ready," Ron announced. "Come get your grub on!"
"Time to go sample more of my son-in-law's cooking," Anne smiled.
Nathan smiled and stood up. "This part of our kids dating I think I can get used to."
Anne saw how happy her sons were as she sat down to eat. She may not like the idea of her babies growing up, but she did like the idea of the Tweebettes making her boys happy. This isn't so bad, she thought to herself. Then she caught the devious glint in her daughter's eye. Now all I have to do is keep Kimmie from bringing the holo-projector.