Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
A/N: So here's something new… I really like this idea, only because I find it more fun to relate to. Hope you guys feel the same! Enjoy… -A.
Summary: Bella's leaving Phoenix University in the middle of her freshman year. She's starting her second semester in Alaska and staying with Charlie after things with Phil and Renee get a little out of hand. She's nineteen, angry, and unwilling to change. She loved Arizona, and she was only willing to give it up for New York. But those plans have abruptly changed. She's pessimistic and alone, but with the help of a certain someone, maybe she can learn to enjoy the frigid temperatures… in more ways than one.
Give 'em Hell, Kid
jack's wasted life
Out of Luck and Out of Hope and Out of Cigarettes
"She's pretty as a car crash,
sexy as a stinger of a hornet in your arm;
just another modern swinger screamin',
'catch me if you can!'
with a cigarette in hand…"
-The Pink Spiders
"Bells, what the hell? Where are you?" his voice sounded angry as it rang through the other end of my cell phone.
"Tom, calm down. I had to leave. Charlie made me." I answered back. This was the exact conversation I was trying to avoid; yet I knew I'd have to have it with someone eventually. Unfortunately, I couldn't mask the annoyance in my voice.
"What do you mean, 'Charlie made me?' You're nineteen, Bella! No one can make you do anything! This is bullshit!" He screamed back at me.
"Well apparently the government doesn't give a crap about how old you are."
"What? You mean he pulled the 'Feds' card on you? How did that play out?"
"It was disgustingly easy, actually. He said that if I didn't leave the house, he would send in officers on a count of domestic violence and abuse. I couldn't subject Renee to something that extreme while she goes through her divorce. Consider this my move to save face. Sorry, Tom." I explained. I rolled down the window to my truck as I lifted my good knee to steady the steering wheel. I felt the truck slow slightly as my right foot pulled off the gas pedal. I pulled an almost-empty cigarette box out from my open bag in the passenger's seat and sifted for the last stick of tobacco. At the same time, I dug into my jean pocket for my lighter.
"Well, are you coming back then?" Tom asked after a small pause.
"I don't know, Tom." I answered as I shoved the cigarette in my mouth and lit the end.
"So you're just dropping out of college mid-year with no place to go? Wow, does your dad know he just fucked up your education and topped it off by officially declaring you as 'homeless?' You were better off here!"
I shoved my lighter back into my pocket and grabbed a hold of the steering wheel just as my truck started to veer to the right slightly. "No, it's not like that. I guess I'm going to the University of Alaska Southeast or some shit like that and staying with him. He set up an account for me and is willing to pay tuition and all that."
"So he's bribing you, too? Bells, why didn't you just tell him you'd rather move in with me? Or at least with some other friends? Or even look to stay on campus? There are so many other options than this!" He started screaming again.
"I tried, Tommy! He didn't want to hear any of it! I'm sorry this bothers you so much, but I can't help the situation any more, it's out of my hands obviously!" I screamed back. There was silence for a minute and I used the opportunity to take one long drag from my cigarette.
"This sucks." He said.
"I know. Look, I'm driving. I have to go. I'm nearing the border now."
"I can't believe you didn't tell any one you were leaving. A simple phone call would have been nice. Better yet, we would have at least liked to help you pack and say goodbye. It's a little shitty if you ask me." He sulked quietly.
"I would have preferred that, honestly. But I had a bit of a time limit." I answered. When there was no sign of a response from the other end, I decided to continue. "Believe me, Tommy, I begged and begged to stay longer and have the chance to say goodbye, but like I said, it was out of my hands." I took another drag of my cigarette. "Look, Tom, really, I have to go. You know my driving skills. I shouldn't be on the phone. Plus I need to find some exit and I'm pretty sure I passed it. I have my laptop with me, I'll connect up with you when I get there, okay?"
"Whatever. I hate your dad."
"You and me both. Bye, Tom."
"Later." I heard him snap his phone shut.
I in turn did the same and threw it over to the passenger's seat where it joined my empty cigarette box and book bag. I heard it clang against the one of the metal crutches. I had been driving for nearly three days and was almost out of Canada. I just needed to find the exit that took me across the Alaskan state line.
Charlie had moved me out of my home with Renee and Phil after Renee called to tell him about the little fight her and Phil had a few nights back. Apparently Charlie found it to be a very unhealthy environment for me to reside in since that last dispute between my mother and Phil somehow involved alcohol, the breaking of windows, wrecking of furniture, and waving of an un-loaded gun around with me present. We never mentioned how it started. And as far as Charlie knows, I fell down my stairs. Again. Now I'm on my way to some small and destitute city in Alaska to live with my anti-social, workaholic father and a few neighboring Eskimos. Awesome. If I had it my way, I'd be living in an apartment with a few friends just outside the Phoenix campus, but no. That's too dangerous. Charlie's reasoning's were too above and beyond for me to grasp. Instead I was ordered, threatened, and bribed to pack up and leave. For good, I assumed from his tone of voice.
However I had different plans. I really only saw myself staying there for a year, at most, and then trucking to New York. There's no way Charlie could keep me in Alaska. It's fucking Alaska.
I turned up the volume on my radio and resumed the song that was paused on my iPod. This one happened to be one of my favorites, and I had been replaying it for the last half hour or so. I settled back comfortably in my seat with my left hand near the window to discard ashes. As the familiar tune started, I began singing aloud with the band.
"Passed out on the overpass; Sunday best and broken glass. Broken down from the bikes and bars, suspended like spirits over speeding cars. You and me were kings over the parkway tonight, and tonight will go on forever while we walk around this town like we own the streets and stay awake through summer like we own the heat, singin', 'everybody wake up, wake up, it's time to get down!'"
I took another drag of the cigarette and began to bounce around in my seat to the music as I did so, spilling some ash on my jeans. I didn't care, though. I picked up with the band once more after flicking the remaining ashes from the lit cherry out the window.
"—Gonna stay eighteen forever so we can stay like this forever, and we'll never miss a party 'cause we keep them going constantly; and we'll never have to listen to anyone about anything 'cause it's all been done and it's all been said. We're the coolest kids and take what we can get—the hell out of this town. Find some conversation. The 'low fuel' light's been on for days; it doesn't mean anything. I got another five hundred, 'nother five hundred miles before we shut this engine down."
I found myself always screaming this verse. I knew the story behind the lyrics—the true story that is—not about wanting to party on forever and never grow up. It had something to do with the lead singer—Jesse Lacey's—brother dying at a young age, and him thinking that it wasn't his brother's time—or something along those lines. It was about wanting to relive the best summer of their lives, together. It was about how nothing would ever be the same; maybe that's why I liked this song so much, especially now. Nothing was going to be the same in Alaska. It wasn't fair. I turned the volume up even more within the cab and felt the vibrations from the strumming of the guitar pulse through the seat beneath me. There was one part of the song—the background, actually—that really attracted me, and it was coming up.
"You're just jealous 'cause we're young and in love! You're stomach's filled up, but you're starved for conversation! You're spending all your night's growing old in your bed! And you're tearing up your photos 'cause you want to forget it's over!"
This verse repeated a few times before ending with a repeat of just a few words. And they held implications of meaning to me.
"You're just jealous 'cause we're young and in love! You're just jealous 'cause we're young and in love! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS 'CAUSE WE'RE YOUNG AND IN LOVE!"
I began to scream with the band now. There was so much hidden meaning behind the words I was shouting.
"YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS 'CAUSE WE'RE YOUNG AND IN LOVE! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS—"
The song abruptly stopped, and though I knew that this was the way the song ended normally, the sudden silence still caught me off guard. What shocked me more though, was the unexpected water-works threatening to spill from my eyes. I could feel the tears brimming around my lids and suddenly felt silly and over-emotional. It felt like it was my life that had just stopped so abruptly. It felt like I wasn't as prepared as I could have been. It felt like I was robbed.
I willed the tears back and instead let my iPod carry on with the next tune and focused on the highway. I took one more long drag from my cigarette and tossed its remains out the window, not realizing that I had just discarded my last one.
I had a long drive ahead of me still.
A/N: I know Bella seems OOC here, she's supposed to. I need her to be more of an angsty, whiney teenager to make this story play out right. Remember, you die-hard-Bella fans, this is only a fic. I'm purposely writing the story like this with my goal being to almost re-write Twilight outside of Forks, Washington and with a completely different background/previous-environment for Bella. Kind of like another universe, if you will. And don't worry. Edward's still a vamp. So are the rest of the Cullens. I'm not willing to go that off-base. The chapter is short, only because I want to see what kind of feed-back you all have for it. I'm still iffy about the whole thing. I don't know if it's a waste of my time or not; if it should just be an idea left in my head. If I decide later on that I like the idea enough, I may continue it without regarding its popularity. First, though, I need to develop a complete story line. If you have any ideas, they'd be greatly appreciated, so help yourself to clicking that green little button below this author's note. –A.
P.S. If I do decide to continue this, the chapters will be notoriously long, as they are in my other story. And if you don't like Ms. Out-of-character-Bella, then help yourself to reading my other project entitled "Déjà Entendu." She's pretty true-blue there.