Okay, this is my first fanfic. Please tell me what you think!
Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. It's all Stephanie Meyer's genius idea, and I don't own any part of it.
Summary: What if the wolves had been too late to save Bella? What would have happened to Edward when he came back to Forks? Takes place from Edward's POV around the time Bella would have gone to Italy to rescue Edward. Rated T for language.
It was a cool and breezy morning in April. The sun wasn't even up yet. Then again, that's not such a big deal to a vampire. My mind was elsewhere. For the past seven months, I had forced myself to live without my Bella. It was for her best interests, but that didn't mean I didn't still miss her. She deserved to have a normal life. She deserved to have a life that wasn't constantly put in peril by her associations with vampires. I shuddered at the thought of what would have happened if we hadn't found her in time last year. If James had....I shuddered again. No, I wouldn't think of that. She was saved, and now she was living her life free of the dangers that had plagued her because of me.
Still, I was being selfish. I had finally given in to my unruly desire to be with her. I had held on for as long as I could, but the pull was eventually too strong. I couldn't stand to be away from her anymore. I had given up on trying to make it through every day, every hour, every minute without stroking her hair, holding her close, kissing her. It all became too much. Now, vampire speed couldn't get me to her fast enough. The airplane I had taken from Rio to Seattle couldn't get me here fast enough. Every second without her seemed like a long and lonely eternity.
As soon as I got to her, I knew just what I was going to do. I was looking foreward to once again watching her while she slept. I would gently stroke her hair and whisper "I love you". I would soon be sitting by her bed once again, listening to her sleepy mumblings and trying to guess what she was dreaming. As soon as she woke up, I would beg for forgiveness. I couldn't stop seeing the image in my head of that last time I'd told her goodbye.
She had looked so hurt and upset. Though I didn't show it, the hurt on her face had created an enormous cloud of pain, worry, and guilt over my head. I had done this to her. I had caused her so much pain and torment! Later that night, I was in the airport at Seattle, waiting for a flight that wouldn't come for another two hours. A few of the overhead televisions were broadcasting the local news. Although the volume was turned all the way down, I could still hear it as clearly as if it had been playing at normal volume. "In other news, a local teenager has gone missing tonight. Eighteen-year-old Isabella Swan was last seen leaving Forks High School around 3:30 pm. She left a note saying she was taking a walk with 17-year-old Edward Cullen." My school picture flashed up on the screen. Several people stared at the picture, then at me. They couldn't hear the broadcast, but they could certainly see the 1-800-THE-LOST number posted on the bottom of the screen. They stared at me suspiciously, not quite knowing if I was the missing person or the kidnapper. Either way, I wasn't going to be making that flight. Then Bella's picture flashed across the screen with her information. Brown hair, brown eyes, five-foot-three, last seen with the heartless douchebag that was me. Now all eyes were on me, and every person in the airport lounge thought I was a kidnapper. I got up and walked out. One man shouted "Hey! You! Get back here! Where is she? Where is that girl?" I ignored him. He wasn't a guard. "Guards!" he shouted. "Guards! Come quick!" Security came over. "That man's a kinapper!", the man yelled. "He's getting away!". By that point, I was out the door. I had bolted at vampire speed as soon as I was around the corner and out of sight. So much for flying.
I ran the whole way back to Forks through the rain. I had just gotten within about four miles of Bella's house when I heard Charlie's thoughts. All of Billy and Jacob's friends had joined in the search. Though Charlie didn't know it, many of the people searching for her were werewolves. If they caught sight of me, the treaty would be broken. They would assume I had harmed her in some way and the treaty would be meaningless. I raced through the forest anyway. I needed to be sure she was all right. I could keep out of sight of the werewolves. With my vampire hearing and my vampire sense of smell, I could tell if one of them was near long before they spotted me. All the while, I kept my ears open for her voice. A few times, I heard someone's TV or a police radio reporting that she still had not been found.
It was around 2:30 in the morning that I heard her. It almost sounded as if she were talking in her sleep, except for the fact that it was completly void of all emotion. "He's gone.", she kept saying, "he's gone." At that same moment, I heard another voice shout her name. Shit! I had forgotten all about keeping a nose out for the dogs. I had simply been thinking about Bella. I could see her through the dog's eyes. It horrified me to see what she had become in just twelve hours. Seeing her there on the ground, I wanted nothing more than to scoop her up in my arms, kiss her over and over, and tell her I would never leave her again. I never wanted to leave her in the first place. I would have, if it weren't for the fact that I was the one who caused this. I felt sick to my stomach. To see my love in such pain, it wrenched me apart like nothing else. I was the monster that had caused all this. I was the asshole who had basically torn her heart out and threw it on the ground. Much as I wanted, no, needed to stay, comfort her, to kiss her, to hold her, to make every terrible ounce of her pain go away, my reappearing would only hurt her more. If I stayed with her, I would attract more danger towards her. She had to have a chance to live a normal life, one where her existance wasn't constantly threatened by her associations with vampires. I had to give her a chance. After making sure she arrived home safely, I reluctantly turned and left.
I knew I was being selfish by coming back. Bella deserved the chance to live her life free of monsters like me, free of the nightmares her associations with me had put her through. Yet, I couldn't stay away. I couldn't stand to be away from the one I loved so much. I wanted to kiss her, stroke her hair, hear her voice, smell that sweet scent, and hold the love of my life in my arms. I wanted to talk to her and to be with her. If she could ever find it in her heart to love me again, it would be the happiest moment of my life. After what I did to her, leaving her like that, I wouldn't be surprised if she never wanted to see me again. I would deserve that. Still, it would be torture for me not to see her. Perhaps I deserved torture after what I'd done to her. I still couldn't get the image out of my head, her lying on the ground that night, looking as if her soul had been drained out of her. Thinking about that brought up that final conversation we'd had. "I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you - it's yours already!" Those words sent shivers down my spine.
I came to the edge of a meadow. Our meadow. Staring out across this beautiful circle of land brought back memories of our time here together. Perhaps I would bring Bella back here with me one day, if she wanted to go with me. We could spend another day just like that one, just lying here in the grass. Just me and Bella, no one else. Suddenly, I caught the most beautiful scent in the world. Bella. My memories had not done it justice. Her sweet scent, smelling like a mixture of fresh flowers, campfires, and ocean air filled my nose. She was nearby. I was excited, but I was curious too. Why was she here? Had she spent the night out here? Had she been here today? Did Alice see me coming back and tip her off? I wouldn't put it past her to do that. Alice had been pretty annoyed at me for telling her not to go spying on Bella. She had probably been keeping a close watch for the exact moment that I decided I couldn't take it anymore. Alice had probably been witing to alert Bella since the moment I said goodbye. That was probably the most likely explanation for Bella's being here. Despite the fact that I had told Alice a million times not to do just that, I couldn't bring myself to be mad at her. It only meant I got to see my love that much sooner.
After a split second, I realized that something was very wrong. Bella's sweet scent was mingled with something that sent me into a panic. Decay. Mingled with the campfire-and-floral-ocean-breeze scent, there was the smell of a decaying dead body. NO! It couldn't be her! She was probably standing right next to a dead rat or something. Maybe a dead deer. It couldn't be her! Panicked, I raced towards the source of her beautiful scent. It could be a dead rabbit of a dead bird that she was standing next to. I followed it to the far edge of the meadow. It wasn't until I saw a grave there that I had to face the horrible truth.
Isabella Marie Swan
September 13, 1988 - March 10, 2006
Your murder will be avenged.
We will never forget you.
I don't know how long I sat there, staring in horror. Murder? She was murdered? She was gone? I could smell the decaying body beneath the ground, mingled with the scent of my beloved Bella. She was there, all right. It was true. She was gone. My sweet angel was now buried in a box below the ground, crumbling to ashes. And there was nothing I could do about it. Closing my eyes, I laid down and ran my hand along the ground where I could feel the edge of the casket under the earth. My hand ran back and forth along the grassy mound where the soil was displaced from the casket underneath it, thinking of ways I could join my sweet love. I considered provoking the Volturi, but something inside of me wanted to never leave this meadow again. Not unless she could. Seeing as how that wasn't possible, I thought of other options. I could build a bonfire around myself and wait for the flames to reach me. My other hand reached into my pocket. I felt what I had been looking for. A small Zippo lighter. It was only then that I heard someone's thoughts nearby.
I smell a vamp.
It was one of the Quileute wolves. Other members of the pack soon joined in.
Maybe it's that leech that killed Bella!
Let's get him! We can't let that bastard get away with that!
I lay there, quietly stroking the ground. If they wanted to kill me, they could go right on ahead. Without my Bella, there was nothing to live for. If they hadn't avenged her killer yet, though, then that was something that needed to be resolved, and fast. When I meet my love on the other side, I want to tell be able to tell her that the son-of-a-bitch that killed her is in hell where he belongs. Then again, I was probably going to end up in hell too. Perhaps I'd be able to look up and see my love floating around in heaven somewhere from time to time. It was then that an image came to one of the wolves' minds. In my mind's eye, I could see trees all around. I could see a wolf sniffing around what used to be our house. I was seeing one of the wolves' memories.
There's a vamp around here. I can smell it.
It's probably one of those Cullens. You know we can't attack them.
Don't you know anything, man? The Cullens left months ago.
One of them could have come back. I'm telling you, I smell a leech.
All right, we'll go check it out. It's probably nothing, though.
All I could see in my mind's eye were memory switched from one wolf to another. This one appeared to be sniffing around where Bella's car was. I could hear voices, though. Laurent. What was Laurent doing there? Wasn't he supposed to be with Tanya and her coven in Alaska? Wasn't he supposed to be learning how to live off animals instead of people?
"Well, you've caught me at a bad time, Bella." Laurent told her. "I didn't come to this place on Victoria's mission - I was hunting. I'm quite thirsty, and you do smell ...simply mouthwatering."
I felt a growl escape my throat. My eyes burned with the tears I could not cry. My throat swelled and my stomach twisted into a knot. These...these dogs heard her being murdered! I could see them running, but they were still miles away. Then, I heard my beautiful angel's voice.
"He'll know it was you." Bella warned. "You won't get away with this."
No, he sure as hell won't. I was going to make sure of that. My one purpose to live now was to avenge the death of my beloved angel. Through my swollen throat, I softly hummed her lullaby. I know how much she loved it.
"And why not?" Laurent's voice asked. "The scent will wash away with the next rain. No one will find your body - you'll simply go missing, like so many, many other humans. There's no reason for Edward to think of me, if he cares enough to invesigate. This is nothing personal, let me assure you. Just thirst."
If he cares enough to investigate? IF HE CARES ENOUGH TO INVESTIGATE??? Why the hell would he think I wouldn't care enough to investigate? My eyes stung furiously. Though I could not cry, It was impossible to just lay there listening to this. My throat swelled even tighter. Breathing was now impossible. It was too bad I didn't need to breathe. My stomach was turning in sickening knots. The word 'missing' triggered images in my mind of that night I left her. Seeing her lying on the ground with that empty stare, hurt horribly by what I had just done to her, it tore me apart even more. I could see now that I've made a horrible mistake. One she'd never be alive to forgive or hate me for. I needed to hold her, to comfort her. Yet, she was now six feet under the ground and unable to be helped.
"Please," I heard her beg. I wanted to stand in front of her, hold her, protect her, get her out of there, SOMETHING! How could I be expected to just listen to Bella die like this? It was all my fault! I should have been there! I should have been able to protect her. I should have been able to tell Laurent that if he so much as took another step towards my Bella, I would tear him limb from limb and burn the pieces. I would have been able to read his thoughts from miles away and known he was up to no good. Bella and I could have always come back another day, when it was safer. Thinking about what could have been made me even sicker. It was all my fault.
"Look at it this way, Bella." Laurent's voice continued. "You're very lucky I was the one to find you."
"Am I?" Bella asked. Her voice was very quiet, barely even a whisper. Her voice burned through me like a blazing inferno, inflicting more pain than I ever could have imagined.
"Yes, I'll be very quick." Laurent told her. "You won't feel a thing, I promise." He acted as if he was being merciful by killing her."Oh, I'll lie to Victoria about that later, naturally, just to placate her. But if you knew what she had planned for you, Bella, I swear you'd be thanking me for this." Just when I thought I couldn't feel any sicker. I'd left her alone to deal with this. Victoria was after her for revenge, Laurent was running wild and hunting humans again, and I had just left Bella to deal with this all by herself. I was a monster. No, I was worse than a monster. I belonged in hell. "Mouthwatering." Laurent repeated. I was a monster for making her deal with this on her own. The last words I heard were barely a whisper. They didn't even seem to be intended to be spoken aloud. Still, I heard them.
"Edward, I love you."
These words ripped through me like nothing else. She still loved me. After all that. She died loving me. I didn't deserve it. After leaving her alone to deal with that, after causing her so much pain, I didn't deserve for her to love me. I didn't deserve to be loved by such a sweet, beautiful, kind, selfless, and brave person. I pressed my face into the earth right above where her beautiful face was decaying away. "I love you too, Bella." I whispered into the ground. "I love you so much. I swear I'm going to avenge your murder, and then I'm going to join you. I love you more than life itself, and I never stopped loving you." My voice was breaking. "I never will stop loving you, either."
A scream sounded through the air. Within seconds, the scream became and odd gurgling sound. A short, abrupt gasp echoed through the air, quickly followed by a soft thud. The trees began to thin, and soon the meadow came into view. The wolves arrived to find a drained Bella lying unnaturally still in the grass. Her face was chalk-white, and frozen into a mask of sheer terror. They were too late.
I couldn't stand it any more.
The wolves arrived in the meadow, ready to kill the bastard that did this to my sweet Bella. Instead, they found me, lying on the grass next to her grave. My hand was still smoothly rubbing up and down the edge of where the casket displaced the ground, as if to comfort her when she could no longer be comforted. Dry sobs escaped my throat in short gasps. My eyes were still stinging and burning, unable to cry for my beautiful love.
So, what do you guys think? Should I write more or should I leave it a oneshot? I could have him go on a quest to avenge Bella or I can have him be killed by the wolves. I could also leave it as is. It's up to you. Please review! This is my first fanfic. Thank you!