I've often wondered what Brandon had been thinking about when he evidently couldn't sleep, the night after kissing Andrea, in the episode "Too Little, Too Late/Paris 75001." Thoughts are fluid and all over the place, so when you are thinking to yourself late at night and a thousand ideas are magically associated with what your mind was originally focused on, your imagination may take over - for a few seconds to any number of minutes - and lead you into realm after unrestricted realm of existence. Basically, Brandon thinks both logically and illogically, envisages reality and fantasy, and ultimately comes full circle with some simple but true emotions.
Simply put, short but sweet. I put down what immediately came to mind with only minor edits. Please read and review.
You're so different from the rest of them.
Why was I attracted to them all, anyway? It always seemed so simple at the time. Times. Yeah, he who holds the track record for the most flings in less than three years should probably know why. But you're not the same.
Why does it always take this long to figure that out? You're strikingly beautiful in a million ways and have a mind that countless others could only dream of. What the hell happens to my brain when I can't even see the most precious thing when it's right in front of me? I was an idiot not to notice.
God. I can't believe I thought you were making a show on purpose. Steve was wrong in his judgment – so what else is new? The next time I take advice from him will be the day he gets a job. Willingly.
...But what do you really see in that Jay guy, anyway?
Of course, everything that I'm not. At least with you. Devoted. Considerate. Passionate. Did I really say passionate?
Ugh. I can't imagine him being your first...
No, don't think about it. Makes me sick.
Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I kissed you. It's what happens to my brain when I'm alone with you.
Scratch that. That was probably the stupidest reason I could possibly come up with. I'd never let you take the blame for my own lack of good judgment. You could say the appeal in my actions today was equivalent to that of scum. Better not forget to mention that tomorrow...
I just... okay, okay – I admit it. To you as well as to myself. I can't stand seeing another guy hanging around you so much, putting his hands on you, telling you how happy you make him feel, because the truth is, I guess, I wish I were someone who could do all the same things whenever you wished for it.
Believe me, I'm not the Prince Charming you've probably dreamed about for the past couple of years. Maybe I usually come across as selfless or immaculate... or something like that. I just try not to let my jealousy come to light when it arrives. Yeah, that worked so well today.
...If only we had all the time in the world...
...I could kiss you again. I'd pick you up without hesitation and go, run somewhere, laughing in our ecstasy, away from this place, far from Jay and everyone else. A deserted island, a lush forest, a small room without doors or windows to the world outside...
If I could wrap you in my arms and whisper softly into your ear the words "you're mine" and lavish you with the affection I undoubtedly owe you, I'd make sure that neither Jay nor any other guy would ever enter your consciousness or desires again.
But, obviously, that won't happen. At least not tomorrow. That's my fault.
One day, I'll actually take hold of a golden opportunity to happiness sent my way.
And if that comes in the form of an angel who happens to be you, Andrea, my undeserving hands will never, ever, let go.