Date with Death

By: Karen B.

Fanfic note: I had to re-upload this story...something was wrong with the previous upload. Sorry for any trouble this caused. If you reviewed -- I didn't see it. Thanks for understanding!

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Summary: Sam goes to see the Crossroads Demon. To make an even trade. His soul for Dean's. Short (Flashback) Missing Scene. Episode: 4.09 -- I know What You Did Last Summer.

Disclaim: Non-profit dreaming. I don't own anything else.

Author's note: I found this scene to be very powerful and I found my self wanting to see more. Below my little spin on what might have happened. Thank you for your time and care in reading. I hope you enjoy this short little MS.

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And the devil who deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are also; and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever. (Revelation 20:10)

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I'd said it three people, ten demons, and an untold number of websites ago.

'One more time I hear that I can't free Dean from hell, and I'd loose my mind.'

I think I was finally there. I'd tried everything, but no matter what I'd done -- Dean was still steak-on-a-stick. I couldn't stop it. Any of it. I'd failed him. Failed them all, and this…this was my last resort, my final stand.

Ashpalht gave way to dirt and I parked the car. Taking my whiskey bottle with me, I made my way to the center of the crossroad. The darkness of the night pressed down on me like some crappy mountain had blown its top.

Kneeling down, I used Ruby's demon-killing knife to excavate the unholy ground.

Drinking and digging.

Steeling myself for what was to come.

Everything was dark and quiet. The pain in my chest tight. The push of the wind blowing my hair into my eyes. I drug the heavy box into the hole with a need born out of pure desperation, and clawing at dirt until the fucking thing was buried. I stood, kicking at the mound and chugging down another mouthful of whiskey straight from the bottle. I'd drank and drank, but like always, it was never enough. Never enough to fill this flesh and blood man, now made out of clay.

My breathing was heavy. Adrenaline pumping wildly. I was both chaos and mayhem rolled into one -- ready to go out like Butch and Sundance. Ready to make the trip downstairs. I looked around, gray on gray mist hung thick in the air, and the swirl of wind wailed kicking up dust. The wailing sent a shiver up my spine, and made the hairs stand up on the back of my neck.

Was that what dead souls in hell sounded like? Felt like?

My heart thumped harder and faster. Glancing around, I moved in a slow circle. The only site of movement was coming from my own elongated shadow that followed..

I was disoriented by the shapes and shadows in the gloom of the night, and by the whiskey tumbling through my blood. Blood that pounded in my ears like a ticking time bomb about to explode, demon blood entwining through every fiber of my soul.

I knew life without Dean wasn't going to be easy. I'd tried to prepare myself the entire year before, but this…this was much worse.

Everyone was gone.

There was nothing left of my family.

Mom, Jess, Dad, and now Dean. They were all destroyed by this thing, these demons, the very blood flowing through my veins. I chugged down another swallow, hearing the whiskey slosh around inside the bottle as well as my gut.

I felt so cold, so alone, so tarnished, so damn drunk. The one thing I didn't feel was afraid. I was ready. Ready to strike my bargain, be thrown into the pit.

Now! Right now!

"Come on!" I screamed at the clear night sky. "Where the hell are you!" I begged, pitching the bottle into the weeds. I didn't need liquid courage to do this.

Suddenly, there it was. Standing all calm, cool, and Gentleman's quarterly. His hands in his pockets, wearing a three piece suit, badly knotted tie, penny loafers, and some poor business man's skin.

"I was wondering to come or not." The demon's eyes flashed red, matching the color of his tie." I mean you just killed one of my coworkers."

I staggered forward, trembling, but not with fear, with anticipation.

"Don't take this the wrong way…" The demon casually strolled toward me. "But you don't look so hot, buddy. Guess burying your brother didn't agree with you."

I took a breath, trying to control the rage burning inside like an oil geyser caught on fire.

"Well?" I spread my arms out wide -- sacrificial style.

"Well," G.Q. countered. "Lets see that special little knife of yours first."

Never taking my eyes off the bastard, I drew my knife and slammed the weapon onto an old wooden table in front of me.

"No devil's traps either," I informed. "I'm not here to play games."

"Well, let me guess...you want to make a deal? Round and round you Winchesters go." G.Q. took his hands out of his pockets, leaning against the table. "Sorry Sam, that is not going to happen."

Don't these freaks hear straight? I wasn't playing games. No more round and round. This was the end. I was ending it. Here. Now. No more time alone. No more thinking. No more websites, crazy blood spells, and disenchanted fairy tail mantras. No more big brother in hell.

I reached for the knife, my hand moving on automatic. Lashing out, I stabbed into flesh pinning the demon's hand to the table. I didn't want ten years, not one year. I didn't…couldn't spend one more minute on this planet without Dean. I just wanted to trade places. Fair and square.

"I want to trade places with Dean."

"No," G.Q. said firmly.

"Just take me!" I screamed. "It's a fair trade."

"No."

"Why not?" I was completely stunned.

"We have everything exactly the way we want it," G.Q. said quietly. "You want to kill me -- go ahead." He bent forward so all that I saw was the red of his eyes. "I've made peace with my lord."

"I'll send you back to hell!" I spat.

"Sam." The demon shrugged. "I've been there. First hand experience." G.Q. smiled. "It really sucks." He cocked a knowing brow. "It's more powerful and awful then you can ever imagine. Cruel and merciless -- even for demons. You know…" he paused, eyes still flashing deep red. "Your brother. He is one of the bravest I've ever seen downstairs. They feed him really good, too. He gets to taste death over and over again," G.Q. laughed.

"You son-of-a-bitch," I gritted out clenched teeth, tugging the knife out of his hand. "I'll kill you!"

I lunged across the table, grabbed the back of his head, and pressed the blade against his throat.

"You want to add more blood to the mix, Sam. Go ahead. I'll just get to take it out on your brother's hide."

I felt a lump of sickness in my throat and fell silent staring at my own mirror image in the demon's eyes. I was pale, beaten, wisps of damp hair hanging in my eyes. But not enough to cover the reflection of a rabid animal, the monster lurking within me.

All I wanted was to tear this demon apart, bring the scent of blood. I had to keep reminding myself, there was a person in there someplace.

"No." I let out a disgusted breath, struggling not to slit the throat before me. "Get out of here," I said, taking a step backward.

"Experience has taught me one thing, Sam." G.Q. didn't move. "You have to face your destiny alone." He shook his head, then in a blast of wind and dust, he was gone.

I tried to stay focused. Make my way back to the Impala, but my legs were wobbling, my vision alcohol and tear distorted. Standing near the driver side door, I took a swing. Punched out at the glass, intending to slam my fist through the window.

"Fuck." Misjudging distance, I hit nothing but air. I spun and staggered, dropping flat to my back "Dean," I croaked out like a frog. "I tried! Dude," I cried out spread eagle on the ground. " I really tried!"

I stared into the velvet black sky, wishing one of those bright, twinkling heaven-bound stars was Dean -- knowing -- that could never be. "I'm sorry, big brother," I whispered.

I don't know how long I lay there. The wind, a shadow blowing around me, kicking up dust, irritating my tear-filled eyes. I longed for Dean. Wished for answers. Prayers of anger leaving my lips, begging hell's hands to break through the earth, snatch hold of me, and drag me into hell -- turn me to dust.

"Sammy." I could almost hear Dean's voice in my head. Taking a breath, I sat up. "No more tea parties. Time to move, princess. You don't give up. You keep going. Remember what I taught you. What Dad taught you."

Swallowing back bile, and several grunts later, I found myself standing. The demon's words about hell grating on my every last nerve. I dug in my jacket pocket for the car keys. Stumbling and slipping, I opened the door and collapsed behind the wheel.

I had no strength left, everything I'd fought for…was gone. My date with death -- a failure.

I gripped the steering wheel and shut my eyes.

Self diagnostic…the demon was right.

I'd have to face my destiny alone.

The end.