"Hey Taub?"

"What is it now?"

"Have you realized how everybody in this hospital is hooking up?"

"Kutner, Hundreds of people walk in through that door every day. Not everybody is hooking up."

"It's called hyperbole. And yes, everyone is. Look at Chase and Cameron. House and Cuddy-"

"-not yet anyways-"

"Give it a month. By then they'll be having sex on her office desk."

"Ew. And Cuddy would never go for that. She's too professional."

"You're right. At least I won't have to worry about walking in on them."

"Kutner. Stop talking. Please."

"But I wasn't done my list!"

"Then finish your list!"

"…Jesus, calm your hormones…"

"I'm going to ignore that."

"Anyways, next up would be Wilson and Amber.-"

"-bless her soul."

"and then…Thirteen and Foreman."


"Uh huh. I accidently walked in on them making out at the Christmas party."

"… are you SURE? I mean it was a Christmas party. It could have been mistletoe."

"There was no way it was just mistletoe. You should have seen them going at it."

"Oh God. Bad mental picture. Why do you do this to me?"

"Taub, do you realize that out of our entire department, we're the only ones not hooking up?"

"Do you realize that I'm married?"

"Never stopped you before… stop glaring at me like that! You know it's true!"

"So what? Oh God Kutner, are you propositioning me?"

"Wha- Of course not! I was just saying that everyone's hooking up except us!"

"Everybody lies, remember? And for the record, I'm straight."

"So am I!"

"Well it definitely seemed like a proposition to me... and for the record, there's nothing wrong with being gay."

"I was just making an observation!"

"Okay... fine. You're straight. Why are we talking about this anyways?"

"Because everyone is getting some, except me."

"Kutner... please... stop."

"Alright. Fine. I'll shut up."






"Hey Taub, do you think one of the nurses would go out with me?"