Hello to everyone! This is my first story here. It will (hopefully) be a multi-chaptered fan fiction, the anime is deathnote, the pair is Matt and Mello with some hinted Near And Matt. This story is rated M for a reason (yaoi, spanking, dark themes etc.) so please click the little "x" on this window if you any of the things mentioned make you uncomfortable, or you just dislike them. For those of you sticking around I am okay with critique, please be polite/gentle about it though. I would like some comments, but no flames please. Love not hate guys :3

Disclaimer: I do not own Deathnote, Matt, Mello, or Near.

Enjoy!

Voyeur

Near watches Matt and Mello's relationship through the years. 'I'm not a voyeur. No, not really. I'm just…" Near-centric may contain some of Matt and Mello's POVs as well.

Prologue

Thud. Thud. Thud. This could have described any of three sounds right now. Well, at least any that I can think of. One; The steady sound of my own breath in my ears as I twirled a pale white strand of my hair as entertainment, or maybe two; the footsteps of the second smartest student at wammy's house speeding across the floor, or another possibility was three; the steady flow of tears dropping on the carpet trailing behind the said-student's path. It's not like anyone else was here to help me clarify my observation, though. This is because I do not have any companions. I am only in the presence of others if I am forced or feel the need to make an observation. I am here strictly on observational purposes. Now what would I be observing in an almost empty hallway, minus me and only one other soul, you may ask? Nothing is my reply. I am not here to study the hall way. I am simply following its other blonde haired occupant to his destination. That, my friends, is where my observation begins.

I continue to silently trail him down the soft, red, carpeted floor to his room. He swings the painted white wooden door open and runs inside, the door not quite shutting on its own. I crouch close against the small opening that has so conveniently been left. I must be lucky today. Normally, I only hear muffled conversation through the walls but today… today will be so much more in depth. I can now see what I came for. A creamy skinned, auburn haired boy, a year younger than the one I followed here, is leaning up against the wall sitting cross-legged on the bed. He is playing a game boy. It appears to be a racing game from the reflection in his orange goggles. Now, you must be wondering why I came for such a peculiarly ordinary (minus the goggles) target to observe. It is because he is not ordinary. He is special. I am not the only one that thinks so. I could even get my rival to agree without hesitation, but probably not without a slap in the face for proposing the question. Besides, we both had different reasons for thinking, no, realizing so. We were about to observe his.

The blonde continued to run across the floor, even now in his room, until he reached the other boy. With a choked sob he jumped on top of the other and embraced him, burying his face in dark brown hair and resting his own cheek against his companion's. Then he let lose crying. The other boy simply paused his game, setting it down on the nightstand, and returned the other's embrace, burying his nose in honey-blonde hair and pressing slow kisses against the junction in between neck and shoulder. "M-Matt!" the blonde chokes out. Matt stops kissing momentarily to show he is listening. Yes, the auburn haired boy is Matt. I suppose I didn't mention that earlier… "Mello." He murmurs, urging the other to continue. Yes, the blonde's name is Mello. Matt and Mello, two M names well, aliases anyway. We'll get to that later though.

Mello sobbed a bit, and then choked out "Matt, I love you!" Matt hushed him gently so he could hear when he said "I love you too, Mello." Then there was a kiss. He continued to hush and rock him until the other was able to breath without whimpering. Mello began to speak. "Matt, lets…" he didn't have to finish. Matt knew just what he wanted. What THEY wanted. They kissed again before Matt got up and pulled down his pants and boxers, then getting hands and knees on the bed. *spank!* Mello delivered a hard blow to the other's soft, pale backside. It began to redden where it had been hit. Matt just stayed in his place, biting back any sound he would have made. *spank!* again, Matt's skin reddened. *spank!* This time a noise was drawn "A-ah!" Matt breathed. Mello quirks a brow, then says "Matt, it's only been three, gentle at that. I can't have anyone hearing us, so…" At this, he reaches in to a dresser drawer, where he extracted has a long piece of cloth. Matt sits up and lets Mello gag him with it. The display of master-slave affection was sickening.

Mello now sits down on the edge of the bed, and before Matt can resume his earlier posture, he is beckoned by his companion. "Here, Matt." He says, gesturing to his lap. Matt is now on hands and knees once more, but now his hands are on the spot of the bed in between Mello's thighs, his knees resting only inches from the other body. Matt is quivering in eager anticipation. Mello is smiling. One hand steadying the small of Matt's back, he pulls the other one away before- *spank!* "MMMMMM!" Matt whimpers through the gag. This one would be considerably louder than last time if not for the gag. It appears Mello took advantage of this and let loose hard. *spank!* "MMM!" *spank!* "MMM!" *spank!* "MMMM!"

Now, to anyone else watching, this would look like a punishment. It is not though; it is a reward for both of them. How have I come to this conclusion? Simple: through my observations. Mello and Matt are best friends, is something anyone could say. However, the true bond –the trust- between them doesn't seem to fit that category, it actually goes deeper. Mello and Matt love each other, obviously. Anyone who looked a little closer could tell you that. However, Mello and Matt are also both extremely insecure. They are both afraid the other will leave. Mello expresses this through a need to feel dominant over Matt and keep him almost captive in their relationship by showing him possession, in hopes that maybe matt will understand that he is needed. Matt expresses this by submitting himself to Mello to show him an almost inhuman level of devotion, letting him do whatever he pleases in hopes that he is wanted in the relationship. It's more than a physical pleasure. It's a psychological dependence. They are more than best friends forever, even if it is true. They are lovers as well.

About ten minutes have passed. Mello delivers a final blow and Matt a final cry. Mello pauses before his next action to let the other teen catch his breath. Once he has, the blonde pushes his auburn haired counterpart onto his back and rests on top of him, pulling off the gag. Matt takes a long intake of air and gasps on it a bit before being able to regulate his breathing. Mello kisses him gently to keep him from choking. "Matt… please… let me…" he murmurs. Matt spreads his legs, allowing Mello to fit in between them more comfortably as he tugs his love's remaining clothing off. He then removes his own. I've noted they tend to make love completely naked. I have not yet observed why. I have hypothesized it has something to do with obsession. Mello kisses the pale skin stretched across a fragile collar bone while Matt presses kisses in honey blonde hair. The brunette whimpers as the blonde's fingers violate him, stretching his puckered entrance wide. Finally, they are removed. Lips are pressed together as the younger is penetrated by the other's arousal, provoked by the earlier display. "Nnnghh- mhhhhh- mmmpph!" Matt whimpers as he is entered by a much larger width than previously. He is not in displeasure, though. He wants every moment. Mello emits a contented sigh and even smiles a bit. I always wonder why he does this. Does it feel breathtaking? I have read in many novels that it is the most wonderful experience one could have. Then again those are only novels. He begins to pull out and push back in. The more Mello does this, the more Matt seems to enjoy it, his own arousal erect now. Then again, was it during the earlier master slave role-play? I shall have to look into that manner in more detail another day. For now, I must wonder, are they equally happy? Do they both feel the same rapture, ecstasy? I shall focus on this for now.

It is maybe half an hour later. I have observed they both seem to feel a large amount of pleasure when Mello is completely in. Maybe they do feel the same amounts of enjoyment, but in different forms? Does Matt simply enjoy a submissive position in sexual intercourse (as well as the relationship in general) more than Mello would, or would Mello feel the same rapture as well? Regretfully, I may never know the answer to the question. "M-Mello!" Matt whimpered. He just released all over. "Matt." Mello half breathes half moans, shuddering. In the past this sequence seems to mark the end of their love making. It still did. Mello pulled out, and it looks as if he just released as well. There are a few drops of white, sticky liquid trickling out from where they had been so passionately connected. Mello cradles Matt in a gentle embrace and pulls the covers over the both of them. Matt returns the embrace.

"I love you, Mihael." Matt murmurs into his roommate's ear, nose buried in his hair. Said Mihael smiles and replies, "I love you too, Mail." Said Mail giggles while Mihael pets his hair. That's what I was saying about aliases. Everyone here at Wammy's has one. For safety reasons you see, nothing extravagant. I shall tell you my alias momentarily, but first I would like to clarify a few things so that you may remember my name not with disgust but with proper respect. Do you not wonder why I have chosen such a "dirty" entry to start off as a prologue to my observation journal? You must be disgusted with me. However, I assure you this was not intentional in the sense of me looking for any other's acts of intimacy. No, it is only Matt and Mello I am observing, mostly Matt. Matt is always with Mello, so therefore I observe him too. They happen to do such actions. Therefore, I observe those actions. I did not write this entry first intentionally. I just so happened to receive this journal today, therefore I wrote what I saw today. Now without further ado, may I present myself as Nate Rivers, alias Near. I have revealed my true name to you, something I am forbidden from doing, as a symbol of trust and respect. As you read my logs, I ask that you pay me the same respect in judgment of our lives as I have you. Know that I am not a voyeur. No, I am not a voyeur. I'm just never far away from these events, yet never quite involved. I'm just…