Chapter 1: Pool

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon.

Well, I've decided (after some discussions with Yoshi's Kun) that there's a few common things in pokémon fanfiction that needs some…correcting. Everyone does the Mary Sues, but nobody does the canon. There's far more terrible canon than anything else, so I'm here to help!

Remember that this is subjective, so this is only my opinion. Nothing in here is absolute. It's a guide, not a law.


Misty first noticed the horrible thing in the shower of all places. She had been scrubbing at her hair, her short, orange hair, when suddenly she realized something. Her eyes were burning. Not from soap, because none had fallen in it, but had been stinging for a very, very long time. Ever since she got out of the pool, in fact. So, she rinsed the shampoo out, threw on a bathrobe and raced down the hall to Daisy's room, bursting in with heavy breaths.

"Days? Daisy?" she panted, clutching to the doorframe as she watched the blonde look up idly from her magazine. "You haven't, uh, by any chance gone down to the pool today, have ya?"

She looked slowly up to the ceiling, trying to think, but at the moment her mind was heavily fogged with thirty tips and tricks for giving her hair volume and bounce. It was also filled with thirty tips from a certain magazine that rhyme with mosmopolitan and started with c. She wondered if Tracey would like some of those tips, if she could ever manage to trick him into getting his pants off. She was quite good at guilting people into things. Perhaps she could convince him to change in the bathroom and mug him when he took off his pants, throw him against the wall with her hair bouncing with all thirty tips and use thirty tips to make him bounce and become filled with volume.

She wrinkled her face. "Wait, does that even make sense?"

"Daisy! Focus!" Misty said, snapping her fingers in the girl's direction. Eventually, the blonde looked over and Misty rolled her eyes in frustration. "Have you, Daisy, been in the pool today? And, if you did, did your eyes start stinging afterwards. I mean, do you think the balance is off? I've made sure the filter is clean, checked everything, I'm always hauling in Nurse Joy and her water testing kits after battles to make sure nothing deadly got in the water. We just rotated the sand. What could it be? I've done everything you're supposed to!"

Daisy tapped her chin slowly, then her eyes widened. "Ohmimew, I know what it is! See, today was going to be my week to be on guard, but I dumped it on Violet for the morning because Tracey and I had been out on a date and stayed out late and I was going to oversleep. But Violet ditched because her alarm clock didn't go off so no one was on guard this morning when those little idiots were running through the street, and you know what that means!"

"…No," Misty said slowly, baffled at her sister's antics.

"Ugh! You've been out of here for way too long! The fanfiction writers! They probably came in and they…they…" Daisy shook her head and took her little sister's hand, leading her down the hall, down the stairs, and to the pool.

Misty waited, making sure her bathrobe was all wrapped up. The last thing she needed was a challenger coming in and seeing Daisy in her bra and underwear and her in some ratty old bathrobe that had a hole just above her butt. But, in no time, the blonde had filled up a test tube, and yanked the younger girl out. They each waited a moment, then Daisy held the tube under her nose, waiting for her to smell it before pulling away.

"Alright, Misty, I know you've smelled this before. Where?"

"Well, it's not our normal pool smell, but it's definitely water. I…I can't remember, it's very faint. It's been the longest time. It's not pleasant. It's pretty nasty. It…maybe it's…" She ran a hand through her wet hair. "Jees, Daisy, am I really supposed to know this off the top of my head? It's familiar. It isn't right though, the water shouldn't smell like that."

"Beware of the fanfiction writer's that don't think these things through. They've got a witching hour, early in the morning is when they run around and dump the stuff in. Thankfully, the filter takes care of it and due to the warp of two universes colliding, the pokémon don't die. We've got pokémon in our pool. So, we've got out pool which is filled with what?"

Misty raised one eyebrow. "Water?"

She rolled her eyes and smacked her head. "What kind of water?"

"Salt water?"

"And how is that different from the regular pools that people swim in?" The older girl urged on, having dealt with this too many times before and knowing exactly what was in the tainted, horrible water.

Misty shrugged. "Because the water in public pools is chlorinated and holy crap," her eyes shot open wide and horrified, grabbing the elder's shoulders and shaking her roughly. "Who's stupid enough to do that with living creatures in the pool?!"

"Newbie fanfiction writers," Daisy said, holding the horrified girl close. "And it's all downhill from here."

Moral of the story: Don't put chlorine in a pool full of life.