Disclaimer; Death Note most certainly isn't mine; if it was it would have gone quite differently. This disclaimer applies to all chapters.
A/N; This story is very different from my others, but when it was mention to me that some were disappointed that L was not uke in my story Low Light (you all know who you are). So now I give you an extremely uke L.
Currently in the process of being proofed.
Really, I don't think I can say this clearly enough.
Underage readers go away! This is M for a reason. Heed my warning.
Please read and review!
L glanced surreptitiously over at Light wondering just when he would make his move again today. He thought back over the previous weeks and all the little things Light had done to him. Taken without yesterdays sudden change in tempo, L gulped, and target on his person, well… before yesterday L had just brushed off all Light's slight touches and accidents as mere products of such a close working environment. They were chained to each other after all, you couldn't get much closer than that, and L wasn't about to let this sudden problem interfere with the case. He knew though that the way his mind kept dwelling on the problem already meant the case was compromised.
He sighed and looked away, despite all of his intelligence he had no idea how to deal with people. He hated this lack of knowledge; he knew secluding himself away would eventually be detrimental to him in some way… even if it had kept him alive through some quite dangerous cases and experiences.
"Are you alright Ryuzaki?"
L jerked his head around to face Light again, hoping desperately that his emotions were not written all over his face.
"Yes of course Light-kun," L replied automatically, sighing inwardly as his voice came out as deadpan as usual, "What ever would make you think that I was not alright?"
Much to L's sudden delight Light didn't reply; merely turned back to his screen with a sigh of his own. L then attempted to get back to capturing the current Kira, he knew deep down that he was sat not two feet away from the original Kira… despite what the evidence told him he knew Light just had to be Kira. Of course knowing that just made his most recent revelation that bit more worrying; he knew that if it got past a certain point that he would not have enough self-control to make Light stop; he just didn't have an experience in this area. If this happened this case would be unbelievably compromised and perhaps unsalvageable
In dissatisfaction he destroyed the slice of cake before him with his fork, and was so focused on this act of destruction he didn't see the look of concern sweep over Light's face before the younger man slowly rose to his feet and moved closer.
"Are you sure you are alright?" Light whispered into L's ear as he leant slightly over the back of L's chair, his arms resting on the arms of the chair, "because you don't seem as motivated today as you usually are."
"That is because you keep distracting me with all these superfluous questions," L replied, tilting his head up so he was staring up at Light, attempting to at least look at Light with some annoyance
"My concern for you is hardly superfluous Ryuzaki," Light said, sounding genuinely hurt, "but if you are sure…"
Then Light did something L had not been prepared for, could never have been prepared for, he leaned down and kissed L softly on the lips for the briefest of moments before pulling away. L stared up at Light completely startled, his black eyes wide and disbelieving, unwittingly showing Light all his hidden turmoil clear as day on his face. Then Light disappeared back to his seat, his gaze focused intently on the screen in front of them.
He kissed me!! Well that was not quite what I was expecting his next move to be…but he kissd me!" L thought thinking back to the soft and lingering caress Light had given his cheek the day before, the move that had confirmed L's suspicions about Light's intentions. Light hadn't needed to reach so close to him for those documents; in fact it had been made difficult for Light to reach like that because of the chain. He had known it was intentional at that moment, perhaps a kiss shouldn't have been so unexpected.
L didn't know whether to bring this up between them,, and realistically he knew he couldn't, he justdidn't know how to deal with the situation. Light could just be doing all of this to get L to release him from the chain, something L wouldn't do and couldn't do... he had given Watari the key. It would have been dangerous for him to carry the key himself, if indeed Light was Kira and used whatever techniques he had at his disposal as Kira it would give him an all too easy way to detach himself from L's body.
This cold thought forced him back to the task in hand, this new Kira had to be tracked down, the method explained and Light caught; if only to remove all the uncertainty and confusion that raged around L's usually so ordered mind. He refused to acknowledge the physical problem brought on by Light's attentions, a problem that had not diminished even when he contemplated his own death. He knew it was only because of his lack of physical contact with people throughout his life that was causing it, and to suddenly receive such pleasing attention... L held back an annoyed groan and turned back to the screen, the way his mind kept dwelling on Light's lips against his own was beyond him.
"Ryuzaki," Light said finally, a few hours later some time after the others had left for the evening, "Ryuzaki, I need some sleep. If I don't sleep soon I am sure I will become a zombie."
"Using such an example would only entice me to make you stay awake, if only to see if such a thing were possible," L replied, his mouth twitching into a slight smile.
"Ryuzaki!" Light said shocked, he sounded surprisingly upset.
"Light-kun I was joking," L replied.
"Threatening me with no sleep was a joke?" Light said, he sounded very tired, his usual stoic calm gone.
"Perhaps it was in some poor taste considering your current state," L replied, standing and picking up the laptop from the desk, balancing it under one arm.
"Indeed it was… Oh thank you, at last I can get some sleep," Light sighed, realising L was not going to delay his sleep further.
Light was so tired he stumbled as L led him up the stairs and collapsed against the detective, his head colliding with L's upper back. Almost automatically Light wrapped his arms around L and rested his head on L's shoulder. To L's horror Light's breathing became more rhythmic and his hold intensified
"Light-kun," L said loudly, completely rigid in Light's hold, "I am not a bed or any form of pillow!"
He pulled Light's arms forcefully off him, the younger man coming round with a jerk as he was pushed back slightly.
"I didn't know Light-kun was so tired," L murmured.
"You haven't let me have a good night's sleep in two weeks," Light groaned, one hand rubbing at his eyes, "the most sleep you have let me have was… about 4 hours."
"I apologise for that," L sighed, feeling a sliver of guilt pass through him, "I am not used to working with others, particularly in such close quarters. You may be my suspect, but you can tell me when I have acted wholly inappropriately. If you needed sleep so desperately why didn't you say anything?"
"You generally don't listen to what other people tell you outside of the case," Light sighed, as he tried to stop a yawn.
"I do listen Light-kun, I just don't let it interfere with my cases," L replied, "the cases have always come first, they have to."
"That's a very lonely way to live Ruzaki," Light replied, his tiredness was making him say things he wouldn't usually say, "you need to spend time with people, if you don't you are never truly alive. Living alone is something no person should ever deal with through their entire life."
L pushed Light down onto the bed, his hands shaking at what Light had said, he was surprised Light let him manoeuvre him so greatly. The younger man gave a slight sigh of satisfaction as he hit the mattress. He was asleep instantly and it was then L realised with horror some of the chain was trapped immovably beneath Light. He placed the laptop on the floor and tried unsuccessfully to force Light to roll over and release the chain. All was in vain, Light would not be moved, and L had no wish to wake Light again and be subjected to his ire… L was too upset.
Despondently L collapsed to the floor by the bed and brought his knees up to his chest. He glanced at the laptop, but his mind wasn't focusing on the case, a major sign of just how badly Light's words had hit him. L rested his head on his knees, eyes staring down at the floor and thought over what Light had said. His mind resolutely and stubbornly took him back through his life and everything he had missed out on, or given up, because of the fears that had been created in just one moment, the close proximity to so many people for the first time and for so long acting as a stark contrast in the current chaos of his mind
In the early hours of the morning, as the memories and thoughts began their steady circle in his mind once more, L suddenly felt overwhelmingly and earth shatteringly lonely, he suddenly comprehended how much he was missing out on in such a secluded environment. In many ways Light was right. A single tear slid down his cheek and a minute later wasquietly joined by another, and then another. In annoyance he scrubbed them away with the back of his hand, he was acting so irrationally. He glanced up at the cause of all his unhappiness and frowned.
Light's words had hurt him, hurt him deeply, but behind them was concern he finally realised. Light was concerned about him. L's mind flashed through all Light had been doing recently. He stared up at Light, just why was Light acting so concerned over him? Was it because he still was Kira and wanted to manipulate L? Or did he truly want to do what he was insinuating? L sat there staring at Light for several minutes, his mind going over all the possibilities.
Lslowly ran his index finger back and forth over his top lip, remembering how Light's lips had felt on his, no matter how briefly it had been for, and the way Light's skin had felt against his as Light had brushed his cheek; it had all been so soft and gentle. Much to his chagrin he felt his earlier problem returning, he frowned. He didn't want to feel this way because of Light…Or did he? He gulped as he realised that Light did infuriate him, but in some ways L found Light to be quite agreeable company. He focussed his gaze on Light once more. He truly looked deep in sleep, and this time L truly wanted to do more than wait this problem out. He couldn't bare the thought of sitting this problem out and waiting to see if it would just go away, he knew in his current state that it could take hours to dissipate.
Cautiously he reached his free hand down and cupped the bulge forming in the front of his trousers, squeezing slightly as his eyes stayed focussed on Light. He sighed and slowly undid the zipper on his trousers, the sound seeming impossibly loud in the room as each link came apart. He bit his lip, he couldn't deny it; the illicitness of the situation was making this all the more pleasurable, as was the risk of getting caught
Finally there were no more barriers in the way and he let himself give in to the feelin at last. He moaned slightly as he tightened his grip, his hand moving rhythmically over his heated flesh. His eyes closed as he began to lose control, his head falling back heavily onto the mattress, one hand rising to tightly grasp at the bed sheets, the fabric twisting in his grip. His legs shook slightly and he bit harder on his lip as the pressure built steadily.
A few pleasure filled minutes later, as he neared the edge at last, he forced his eyes open, his paranoia about Light waking up and catching him in the act managing to force some movement. He went rigid, and not from his much desired climax. Light's eyes were open and focused on him. Light was most definitely awake if the intense gaze was anything to go by.
L's mind screeched to a halt for the first time in his life as he looked into Light's eyes; and his only thought was just how long Light had been awake and watching him. Light's gaze suddenly darkened, and L's brain came back online to calmly inform him that Light was about to do something other than go back to sleep before abandoning L completely.
L knew he should move away, should bring the laptop up to protect himself, but as Light slowly sat up and moved towards him, he sat frozen; his head still resting on the bed as his short and panicked breathing sounded loud in his ears. Light shifted down the bed, before suddenly lying down once more this time on his front, his head inches above L's own. Slowly, ever so slowly, one of Light's hands ran along L's outstretched arm, before creeping s down his clothed chest; the touch feather light and so arousing. His fingers paused to briefly and gently squeeze a nipple before continuing on its journey.
"L-Light-kun," L gasped, "What are you doing?"
"Helping you with your current problem," Light said smiling, "unless you would prefer I watch… you were watching me sleep after all."
L's mind was in turmoil, he had no way of escaping, he had no key to the chain, and he had been so close to completion his mental faculties were being clouded by his hormones that almost fizzed along his blood vessels. Then he gasped as Light's hand wrapped around his still present erection, the thumb rubbing the tip slightly. He shuddered as Light's hand began to pump his erection, this felt so wrong but he couldn't bring himself to tell Light to stop.
"Light stop," L finally managed to whisper, fighting back another moan, this shouldn't, couldn't be happening.
"You will probably increase my percentage as Kira for this, but No L," Light whispered, "I am not going to stop. I have wanted to touch you for so long."
Light's lips descended on L's, and slipped his tongue into the detective's mouth. Smiling slightly into the kiss at the strangled moan this caused, he slid off the bed to the floor and deepened the kiss still further; his new angle gave him almost total control. He increased his ministrations, his other hand descending to work its way up under the white shirt; his fingers scraping across L's heated and glistening skin.
L frowned slightly as Light's lips moved away from his own now trembling lips.. He wanted to feel those lips again. L moved his hand up to try and pull Light's head back down to his, then groaned in happy surprise as Light twisted his head round and kissed the shaking hand, before taking the fingers into his mouth; Light's mouth might not be on his but to L this was a wonderful substitute. With a startled cry L came coating Light's hand in his release, his finger falling from Light's mouth as Light smiled down at him.
L closed his eyes, wanting to block the smiling face from view, shame quickly following the feeling of ecstasy that had swept through his system. Then those lips were on his again, L pushed Light away despite the sudden rush of hormones that had thundered through him at the renewed touch.
"Light-kun," L said quietly, swallowing only once to steady his breathing, "I believe we need to talk, now."
With a sigh, Light sat back, reaching for the box of tissues on the nightstand and cleaning his hand as best he could
"I presume Light-kun has an explanation for his actions," L said at last, sounding far more calm than he felt as he tidied himself up, depending on the answer he gave Light would either be forgiven or find himself back in the cell.
"I had a lot of time to think when I was under observation, and I realised that the reason you infuriated me so much before was because I wanted you," Light replied bluntly.
"You want me? Is Light insinuating he is gay?" L asked, his body tensing at the blunt confession and all that it implied. He hadn't expect such forthrightness from Light.
"Yes Ryuzaki, I am gay, but if my father found out he would truly kill me," Light sighed, he could already feel his own erection flagging with the unhappy, and unwanted, direction the conversation was taking, "I have had to get very good at hiding quite a lot of what I do and pretending to be something I am not when around others."
"Surprisingly this explains a lot," L sighed, drawing his knees up to his chest, "however your admission does add to your probability of being Kira."
"I know, but as I just 'slightly' forced myself upon you I think I am already in trouble without you adding to my possibilities of being Kira, I'm surprised you haven't called for Watari already," Light sighed, "Of all the times to act on impulse I had to pick this one."
"This is either an impressive act, or you really mean it," L said quietly, then raised a hand as Light looked at him with a scowl, "For now I will believe you," – Light looked angry again – "You can't expect me to believe in your innocence immediately, you have, at your own confession, just taken advantage of me and.. the state I was in, you are my suspect and have just revealed the fact you have not been honest with your own family! Surely my caution is understandable."
"If you knew the pressure I was under as their Perfect Son, always being the model child, always having to act completely normal and mainstream in everything you would understand," Light sighed, collapsing back to lie on the floor, "though I don't suppose I should have expected anything less from the World's Greatest Detective than this reaction."
For a moment an uneasy silence descended, neither unwilling to move while neither wanted to say anything. Both were churning over all that had just happened, and all that could happen now. Finally L broke the silence.
"Where do we go from here, relationship wise?" L asked quietly.
"What?" Light replied in surprise, jerking up to stare at L.
"Light obviously has had more experience with things like this, I thought that would not need saying," L said, "Your input would be required."
"What I meant Ryuzaki is, do you want there to be an "us"? Light said hurriedly, managing to avoid rolling his eyes at the precision in words L always required.
"You have said, and demonstrated, that you do, and I find I am not adverse to such a thing. In fact I find myself rather curious," L replied, he bit lightly on his thumb as he realised there was no going back now. Then those sinful lips met his and L found he didn't care, if this is what he gained he was willing to risk it.