Disclaimer: I don't own Left 4 Dead or it's characters, locations, or ideas. I'm writing this Just because I feel like it.

A/N: I think it would be awesome if the Hunter and the Smoker teamed up. They just seem like they could be really good friends to me. And of course, having the depressed little Witch there...It's possible that they'd at least try to cheer her up.

So here I go with another attempt at Left 4 Dead fanfiction. I just hope it sort of makes sense, and doesn't completely suck or anything.


Wracking sobs rang out into the air, coming from one small figure crouched behind a crashed police car. The Witch glanced up every once in a while, but mainly kept her eyes on the ground as she continued to weep in her small spot.

Hunter sat a good ten feet away, watching her. He'd been there for over an hour, just watching the poor little Witch cry her eyes out. But he couldn't figure it out, and that drove him up the wall. He just didn't know the answer.

Why the hell was she crying?

He pulled his knees up to his chest and growled in the back of his throat. It was always so depressing to pass by the Witch, because she always seemed so sad. He hated having to hear her cry all that time.

Finally, he just got fed up with it. He pushed himself onto his feet and prowled around, searching for his good pal Smoker. This was not a problem to be tackled by just one man. (Or Hunter. Or Zombie. Or whatever it was he was considered.)

Hunter searched the alleys first. That was the best place for them to hang out. Luckily, the survivors were still back on the roof of the apartments. He'd gotten word from the Tank about the humans that were on their way down here, and at the moment he was hoping that they were the slow and careful type. He needed a little more time to find Smoker.

He looked around a couple rooms, checked around some corners, and even dug around in a couple of dumpsters. (The smell was awful, and he nearly threw up because of it.) But no sign of Smoker.

And that's when the Realization Hammer whacked down on his head. Hunter rolled his eyes, mentally kicking himself for not thinking of it earlier. He walked over to the wall and looked up before releasing a bloodcurdling screech.

As he'd predicted, there was an audible spitting noise, and a long pink tongue fell down over the roof and down to the floor. Hunter nodded at the reply to his shriek, and raced over to a nearby gutter pipe. One leap brought him high enough to reach the metal tube, and he grabbed onto it tight before crawling up and easily scaling the wall.

He reached the roof in mere seconds. Once he was there, he did a quick pivot and leaped over the gap of the alley with a scream. He landed on the other side, just a few feet in front of his roof-dwelling pal.

Hunter immediately started growling, and explained his plan to Smoker. The survivors didn't seem to be too sad, so he planned to trail behind them and find out what kept them from being sad. Then they could see if the same would work for the Witch. It wasn't the best plan ever, but it was better than nothing.

Smoker nodded his agreement, and they both hopped across the roofs and over to the roof that the survivors had last been spotted on. The door was already open, so they snuck down the stairs and proceeded to wait...

---

"Eeeeewww!" Zoey whined, wiping Boomer vomit off of her clothes. "I hate Boomers!"

"Everyone does," Francis scoffed, walking right on past her and continuing through the building. "Get over it."

The student rolled her eyes at him, and followed the rest of the group. After a bit, she decided to try and get the vomit out of her hair first. "At least my hair didn't get in my eyes," she said to herself with a smile. "I'd be miserable if not for my hair tie. I'd have my hair in my eyes all the time."

Then, out of nowhere, there was a loud scream and a Hunter tackled her from behind. She face-planted into the ground, but as soon as it had come, the Hunter vanished into the darkness once more, leaving Zoey without a scratch.

"Well, that was weird," Louis commented, scratching his head in confusion.

Zoey sat up quickly, and gasped as her hair tumbled down into her face, splattering her with vomit. "That Hunter stole my hair tie!" she screamed, getting up and moving to chase after it. And she would have, had Bill and Francis not held her back.

"Zoey! Don't run back and get yourself killed!" the veteran yelled, reaching back into his first aid kid and grabbing a small piece of the gauze that was in there. "Look, we'll just tie your hair up with this for now and keep going," he explained, using the strip of gauze to tie her hair back in a sort of ribbon.

Francis just plain laughed. "You were going to go chase a Hunter to get a scrunchie!" he sniggered.

Folding her arms across her chest, Zoey pouted a bit at Francis' laughing. "Well it's important to me!" she argued. "How would you feel if a Hunter took that vest you don't hate?"

Before Francis could even open his mouth to reply, a pink slimy tongue shot out from the shadows and grabbed a hold of Francis' vest. It yanked once, twice, and then managed to pull the vest off of him on the third pull, and the black vest flew back into the shadows.

It took all three survivors to hold Francis back and keep him from trying to tear the Smoker limb from limb with his bare hands.

"Drop it, Francis," Bill growled. "You can get a new vest later. It's not irreplaceable, like my military hat."

"Or this tie that my sister got me for my birthday," Louis added.

Then, at the exact same time, the same Hunter and the same pink tongue came out of the shadows. The tongue grabbed Bill's hat and pulled it away, and the Hunter managed to hurriedly untie Louis' tie and run off with that.

There was an awkward silence between the four, before they all scurried out of the room and then into the alleyway after that. They slammed the door behind them, and stared at each other with unsure expressions.

"What the hell was wrong with those two infected?" Francis snarled, obviously still upset about the lost of his vest.

"I don't know..." Bill muttered. He was more in control than Francis, but he definitely wasn't happy about losing his hat. "But we should just keep going. The more distance we can put between them and us, the better."

Everyone else nodded in agreement, and they continued through the alley, their thoughts still stuck on their lost possessions.

However, their previous question was answered when they turned a corner and spotted with Witch, along with none other than the Hunter and Smoker from before. It was quite a sight that none of them would ever forget.

The Smoker was worriedly clutching Bill's hat while the Hunter fussed about trying to get the Witch's hair pulled back into a ponytail with Zoey's hair tie. He wasn't having much success, which made Francis grin for a moment until he realized that the Witch was already wearing his vest, and had Louis' tie tied loosely around her neck. Apparently, they hadn't been able to figure the tie out, either, because instead of being tied like a tie would, it was tied in the way that one might tie their shoelaces. In a bow.

"What in hell are they doing?" Louis exclaimed, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

It was Zoey who realized it first, after noticing the downcast expressions of the two infected. "I think they're trying to cheer her up!" she exclaimed with a smile that made the rest of the team think she was insane. "That's why they took our stuff! They heard me saying how I loved having my hair tie around, and how Francis didn't hate his vest, and then Bill and Louis with the hat and tie!"

Meanwhile, while all the survivors nodded a sort of understanding, the Hunter finally managed to get the Witch's hair up, and the Smoker topped it off with Bill's hat. The hat slipped down over her eyes, and she pushed it back up with indifference. She didn't stop sobbing, and didn't seem happier at all.

Hunter and Smoker sighed, plopping down on the ground in defeat. That plan hadn't worked. Maybe the Witch was just doomed to be sad forever. Maybe there wasn't anything that could make her happy.

"Aww..." Zoey cooed, watching the heartwarming scene. "I think all she needs is a nice hug!"

"Are you crazy?" Louis exclaimed, but Zoey heard none of it. She raced off to where the Witch was sitting and sat down right next to her, ignoring the growls. Smiling, the student threw her arms around the depressed zombie and squeezed.

The Witch slowly stood up, pulling Zoey up with her. She growled, and promptly began tearing Zoey to shreds.

Poor Zoey's teammates couldn't reach her in time. By the time they ran up, Zoey was already dead. The Hunter and Smoker had taken off, and the Witch was just staring at the corpse.

They watched the Witch carefully, not sure whether to approach and risk angering her. But the upset little infected simply sniffled, then sobbed, and finally took off with tears running down her face.

Bill and Louis stared down at Zoey sadly, upset about the horrible tragedy that had befallen their teammate. But Francis looked down the street where the Witch had run, something entirely different on his mind.

"That damn Witch still has my vest."


A/N: Okay, so I know Zoey's not that stupid. But I wanted someone to give the poor little Witch a hug and...Well, no one else seems to be the hug-giving type.