This is set in modern times and stars Sasori and Deidara as C.S.I.'s. A number of murders have been committed by a criminal duo and it's up to the C.S.I. team to figure out who they are, why they're doing it, and how to stop them.

Better than it sounds, I promise. Has a bit of a twist as well…

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Italics – Sort of like what the criminal(s) is (are) seeing/thinking.

Kitsune - fox.

Okami - wolf.

Criminally Insane

Tried the door; locked.

Picked lock; easy.

Rushed into room; silent as ever.

Located bedroom; third from the left.

Injected couple with poison; little effort needed.

A cloaked figure stood silently over the now unconscious couple, waiting for his partner. Soon enough, the older of the two walked through the door way, smirk invisible under the okami mask. The younger quickly left the room and went to the living room, finding a large window and looking out of it at the full moon, kitsune mask hiding his saddened features from prying neighbors.

Only seconds later, the tearing of flesh and clothes could be heard from the bedroom. The man in the kitsune mask quickly covered his ears, hating the horrible sounds and the images they brought to his mind. He never watched the okami man work. It was much too gruesome. He hated blood, violence, and death, but would murder if the okami ever asked. He loved that man with every fiber of his being.

Soon enough, the sounds stopped, and all was silent, save for the soft footsteps heading toward the living room. The kitsune let out a sigh of relief when strong arms wrapped around his waist and loving words were whispered in his ear.

Sasori let out an annoyed noise as he brought his fist down on the buzzing alarm clock. He rolled over and shook the man sleeping next to him. Deidara groaned and rolled away from the annoyance. The red head sat up. "Deidara, we have work, get up."

"Nnn." Deidara curled into a ball around and under the covers. Sasori silently cursed as he got up and went to the end of the bed. He grabbed the blonde's feet and pulled both Deidara and the sheets off the bed. Deidara grunted when he hit the floor and curled up into a tight ball with the sheets. Sasori sighed. 'It's gonna be a long day…'

"Looks like they were poisoned." Sasori stated before taking a picture. Hidan looked over the chest wounds. "And judging from the way they were cut open, I'd say it was the same people." The dead couple lying in bed made victims number 17 and 18 for the Midnight Stalkers. The M.O. was always easy to identify.

The victims always had some kind of criminal activity going. They were poisoned using the liquefied leaves of Bittersweet Nightshade, leaving them paralyzed but aware of everything, cut open from neck to pelvis with a knife, and then their innards were ripped out and thrown into a bloody mass on the floor.

"I'm done in the living room, un." Deidara walked in the room and cringed at the bodies. "Gross…"

"Damn, you're quick." Hidan stated from his spot in the doorway of the lab. "I'm paid to be." Deidara said cheerfully as he spun in his chair. Sasori reached a hand out and grabbed the chair, successfully stopping the spinning and nearly making the blonde fall from his seat. Said blonde huffed before looking over the papers in his hand.

"Stephawn Millington, 34, and Merylin Waters, 31. Both are immigrants from Europe, un. He's from Great Britain and she's from Italy." Deidara began spinning again. "So, what'd they do to get them killed?" Sasori asked as he stopped the spinning again.

"Will you stop that? The blood swirling in my head helps me think, un." He began spinning once again, much to Sasori's displeasure. "They were drug trafficking for an underground organization, couldn't get the name, and are suspected of killing at least one person for unknown reasons, un."

"Oh great, now we've got the fuckin' yakuza on our asses!" Hidan huffed and rolled his eyes. "And for the love of fucking Jashin, stop fucking spinning!"

"Bite me." Deidara said in a sing-song voice as he spun faster. "Sasori, control your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend!" Sasori snapped, cringing as soon as the words left his mouth. Deidara stopped spinning, a hurt expression on his face. "Sorry… I meant to say, 'shut up Hidan.'" Deidara smiled, easily hiding the fact that he was still hurt. He hated that Sasori made him hide their relationship. Hidan had found out on accident, and now Sasori refused to kiss him anywhere but at home.

Deidara limply fell onto the bed and didn't move. Sasori crawled onto the bed on top of him and began kissing his exposed neck. "I'm not your boyfriend, remember?" Deidara stated blankly before pulling the covers around him and over his head. "I said I was sorry like thirty times…" Sasori groaned, tugging at the covers. "You know I love you… I just don't want you to get hurt by the things that people will say."

"I know…" Deidara loosened his grip and allowed the older male to pull down the covers. Their lips connected and Deidara rolled onto his back and wrapped his arms around his lover's neck. He opened his mouth enough to allow the dominant male's tongue to slip through and explore memorized territory. He whimpered when Sasori slipped his hands under his shirt and began running them up and down his torso.

They parted and Sasori made quick work of the shirt. He crushed their lips back together and removed the blonde's pants while their tongues mingled. He rubbed at the bulge in Deidara's pants, making him moan. They parted again as Sasori sat up. He stared hungrily down at his prey.

"Bastard, un." Sasori quirked an eyebrow. "I was hoping to actually get some sleep tonight." The red head chuckled. "Don't worry, koibito, I promise you'll get a full night's sleep tomorrow."

Found unlocked window; entered house.

Alarm system; very loud.

Clipped blue wire; silent.

Located man; asleep in front of TV.

Injected poison; slight struggle.

Kitsune found it increasingly difficult to tune out the victims weak moans. Okami finally came in and Kitsune left to wander around the house. He located the bedroom and began looking over the knick-knacks covering the tables and shelves. He picked up a small wolf statue with his gloved hands that reminded him of his Okami. He didn't notice said male walk up behind him as he examined it.

"You like that?"

Kitsune jumped and nearly dropped the piece of art. He shakily nodded, fearing Okami's wrath. He relaxed when a hand lovingly brushed his shoulder. "You can keep it. You know what to do." Okami exited the room to finish his work while Kitsune did some dusting and moved a few things, making it look like nothing had been taken or moved.

"Chigaru Migami, 45, born in Kiri, moved to Konoha ten years ago, un. Accused of three counts of murder and two of manslaughter; never convicted. Apparently women were often all over him, un."

"And now he's all over his couch and floor."

"You're evil."

"I know." Sasori smirked, "But you love me anyway." Deidara blushed, taken by complete surprise. Sasori didn't like to show signs of affection on public. He was even more surprised when the red head leaned down and softly kissed him, right in front of Hidan! The white haired male snickered at Deidara's expression; a combination of shock, fear, and joy.

"Holy hell!" Everyone jumped and turned. Kisame was standing wide-eyed in the doorway. There was a moment of awkward silence before Kisame began to laugh. "I knew you guys were fucking!"

Deidara looked up from his mini TV as Kisame walked into the room. "How's the case going?"

"Horrible, un. There's little to no evidence, no suspects, and absolutely no leads."

"Then shouldn't you be trying to gather all that instead of watching talk shows?"

Deidara frowned at Kisame's smart-alecky expression. "I've already tried everything but this. I'm hoping maybe the killers want to brag about what they've done in a way and are on one of the local shows, un. If they are, perhaps they'll reveal something and we can investigate them."

"Oh…" Kisame was slightly disappointed that he was so easily outsmarted. "So… You got anything on them at all?"

"There's two, they always kill criminals, they're always very thorough and leave no evidence, the murders occur around midnight, poison is used to paralyze the victim so their innards can be torn out, un, and they never take anything from the scene."

"Well… at least that's something…"

"It's not enough though! It's so frustrating!"

"Don't worry; I'm sure they'll screw up at some point and you'll bag 'em."

"Thanks, un." Deidara smiled appreciatively as Kisame turned and left. He turned back to his TV in time to see two new people walk on.

"Let's give a warm welcome to Haku and Zabuza Momochi who need some relationship counseling."

I don't think I spelled his last name right… I know I'm supposed to be working on ICSY, but I'm suffering from artist's block and am using this as a way to hopefully clear it up. Sorry it's so short. Review please! They inspire me!