Edwards Point of View

I sighed deeply. Even though as a vampire sighing or breathing of any sort was virtually pointless. I had to do this. I had to leave her again. I was absolutely disgusted with myself about it. Especially after promising, only a month ago, to never leave her side without her asking me to. I knew she wouldn't understand right now. But maybe one day she would. I was doing this for her.

Bella deserved a man who could meet her needs, all of them. Unfortunately, I wasn't that man. I couldn't change who or what I was. Loathe as I was to admit it, much of out problem derived from the fact that I could not be intimate with her. Bella never seemed to fully comprehend that one slip of my control would possibly kill her. It was a risk I wasn't willing to take. Her need had become so strong that all I had to do was give her the softest of kisses, the slightest of caresses, and her arousal would flood my senses. It had become bad enough that Jasper would avoid being near us because the lust was too much for him to bear.

Frequently, when I would come home, he would be waiting to beg me to do something about it. No was all I could say. He would mention alternatives to actual intercourse, most of which would have made me blush had I still been human. But I could only reply in the negative. I knew I was considered old fashioned, prudent. What was I supposed to do? To commit those acts with my precious Bella would have been to defile her. When he realized that tactic had no chance of working he switched to trying to convince me to change her. I was even more adverse to that course of action. I would not take Bella's soul. I would not make her one of the damned. I couldn't count the number of times she had pleaded with me to make her a vampire. I only became worse after we returned from Italy. But the very idea repulsed me. She would no longer be my Bella after that. A blood thirsty monster would be all that remained of my angel.

Leaving was the only option left. Without me there to drag her down she would find a human man to love. This time the family wouldn't go with me so her pain would be less severe. And they would be leaving in a few months so she would be completely out of harms way soon. The pain I felt at the thought of leaving her was considerable but I would bare it to keep Bella safe. With one more look at her peaceful, sleeping form I moved from the bed and out the window. I heard her call my name once before I ran off into the night.

As I approached the house Alice interrupted my thoughts. Edward, everything you will need is already packed and in the trunk of your car, which is at the end of the drive. Don't worry about the others. I will fill them in when you have had a decent head start. I won't even tell them where you are going.

I whispered my thanks knowing that she could hear me and left.