Authors note; This is a very sensitive subject. I just thought I would do this to see how people read it. I also was reading a rape story, and that is a sensitive subject too, so why not this? Just give it a try, people. Y'all tell me what you think. T for now, could be put higher - I have a plan but being the scaredy cat I am, I might chicken out.
Song; We Are Broken, Paramore.
Full Summary; Patient No. 173D, Isabella Swan. Ward three. I don't want people to feel sorry for me. Just because I'm dying it doesn't mean I need anyone else to buy me flowers or send me get well soon cards. Because I won't get well soon, whether you send me a card or not. I just want to complete my wishes.
People say that love conquers all. But in all honesty, does it? Can it make all of your dreams come true? Can it rise above all of your demons? Can it beat death? AU AH OOC E/B.
Disclaiming; No, the characters are not mine.
Just Because You Love Me Doesn't Mean I Have To Love Me Too.
"You know, you should eat something." He said, spooning the horrid green paste onto the plastic fork, and thrusting it into my hand.
"Why should I?"
"Because I said so."
"Okay, mum. I will eat this when you do." I said, rolling my eyes. I giggled slightly at his horrified expression, and I was delighted that I had finally won an argument. "See!" I practically yelled, clapping my hands. "I win! Finally I won against Edward!"
"Its not my fault it looks like green shit." He mumbled, putting the fork down onto the tray and pushing it away. "If you tell me what you want I'll run down to the take-out and get it." He whispered, edging closer towards me.
"Get me what you get yourself." I whispered back, kissing him on the lips.
He leapt up, putting his shoes back on. I don't even know why he felt the need to take them off. He kissed me on the lips again, feather light, leaving me dazed and told me he would be back in half an hour. He winked at me as he walked out of the door, and I blew him a kiss.
Sometimes being with Edward was too easy. I needed him like I needed water or air. He was like and umbrella that followed me in the rain, and an open fire in the dead of winter. When he wasn't there I didn't feel complete, and I felt myself get worse. I felt my bones turn to jelly and my brain into mush. He helped me fulfil most of my things written on my wall. He was like my safety harness when rock climbing or my safety mask in an aeroplane. He was like my wheelchair if both legs were broken and he was like my warm pillow at night. He was like my duvet; soft and light, cool and soothing. Needless to say, he was my saviour.
Sure, Alice was all of those things, to an extent. There was only so many shoes a girlfriend can fill and a boyfriend can't, and vice-versa. There was no way I could say that I loved him more, but I loved him in a different way.
I didn't understand why everyone kept telling me to eat. I was sat in a stingy hospital bed, fed stingy hospital food, and they all wonder why I am not eating. I hated hospital food. But there were other reasons. I was dying anyway, so why bother eating? It just left a horrible taste in my mouth and went straight through me.
I had the bed opposite a small little window that looked out onto green and red leaved trees. I stared at it for a while, waiting for any signs of movement minus the howling of winds. Every time the wind blew, a few leaves would fall off the trees and fly into the distance, leaving the others behind.
A tiny little bird eventually perched onto one of the smaller branches, and I could see its chest heaving. I longed to know if it was singing, but it was too far away to hear. No matter how hard I strained my ears, I got the same ringing noise, pounding throughout my head. I did contemplate getting up and shuffling towards it, but I knew I either wouldn't be able to make it over there, or the bird would see me coming and fly away.
I hated not being able to walk much. It made me feel as if I were an old lady; like I needed a Zimmer frame. I wanted my independence back. I wanted to be able to go and get my own food; not have to get Edward to do it.
Edward had done so much for me. So had mum. So had Alice. Even when I was a bitch, they would just brush it aside and carry on. I didn't deserve them at all.
When Edward came back, he held a white bag in his hand. The smell of the food hit me so hard; like I was being hit by a car. Like I had my insides ripped from me. It was like my heart was bursting. The smell invaded my nose and went to the back of my throat, and no matter how hard I coughed the stench wouldn't budge. My stomach retched, and I couldn't stop the bile from rising in my throat.
I could hear people shouting my name. I could hear Edward asking me if I was okay, what was wrong. I wanted to talk to him; I wanted to calm down the panicked tone of his voice. I wanted to soothe him, to tell him I was fine. I couldn't do anything but close my eyes and feel my legs become soaked under the thin blanket. The smell of my sick hit me worse than the food, causing another round to start.
I felt a cool hand on the back of my neck, gathering the thin hair there. I felt a cold pressure on my legs, and another hand pushed my back forwards. Tears were trickling down my face as I felt my heartbeat quicken.
I could hear it on the monitor beside me; the rate of my heart. It sounded like a helicopter about to take off. It felt like my heart was on fire inside of me. The beeping continued to raise its tempo, and I couldn't feel my arms anymore. They had gone numb, and my toes were soon becoming numb too. It was only a matter of time before sweat joined my tears, falling relentlessly down my face as I continued to soak the whole bed in the most putrid way.
Authors note; Love it? Hate it?
Let me know if I should continue.