A MARRIAGE FOR THE BIRDS
AN: This is written in a little bit different style. The beginning of this takes place during the main battle, then I'm going back and describing the events that led up to it before finally finishing the fight. You might say, I'm starting in the middle.
This takes place after "Sometimes One Head is Better" but you should be able to easily understand it even if you haven't read my other little story.
Disclaimer: I don't own any material contained within this story. All copyrighted content remains the property of the person, people, or organization that holds the copyright. This story is solely for fun.
CHAPTER 1: You Ruined the Wedding!
"Everyone down! Here they come again!" Integra shouted as she saw them turning and coming around for another pass. The Hellsing steadied her aim and fired off three rounds, nailing two of them in the head and literally winging a third. The knight tried to get off a few more shots before she ducked for cover, but her gun made an irritating clicking sound. Integra sighed then ducked behind the lawn chairs that had become the group's makeshift bunker.
"I'm out!" The knight yelled to her servant, and he threw her another clip. As the enemy zoomed over Integra's head, the knight inserted the clip and cocked her weapon, which made a much more satisfying 'click'.
Alucard stood up and laughed manically as he blasted more of the enemy, taking several of them out before they had the chance to circle around for another pass. Then he turned to Integra. "Isn't this fun, Master?"
"NO! This is not 'fun' you stupid vampire! You know how hard Seras and I worked to put this wedding together? And you... you ruined it!?" The knight accused.
"I ruined it? Master, I'm not the one who ordered so many."
"You're the one who decided they'd make a tasty dinner!"
"True." the ancient vampire conceded. "But if they possessed the same instinct for self preservation that every other animal in creation has, the rest of them wouldn't have attacked. They'd have just cowered in fear and been grateful that they weren't going on dinner plates."
"Yeah... right. Try explaining that to your blushing bride."
"Hey, that reminds me." Maxwell cut in and turned to Integra. "Where is your other servant?"
"Last time I saw her, she was chasing after that 'priest' that was suppose to 'marry' the two of them." Heinkel answered.
"You mean the guy who stole my Katana?" Yumiko asked.
"How many other priests are around here?" Heinkel replied sarcastically.
"Well... there's you, Father Anderson, Max..."
"Alright, alright." Heinkel interrupted. "I get it... Yes, the guy who stole your Katana." The trans-gen finished as she sniped off another of the enemy.
"I wonder what he wanted it for, anyway." The Nun mused to herself.
Within the, not too distant, hedge maze:
Seras, clothed in a white bridal gown, was still chasing after the runaway priest. She turned a corner and stopped as she caught sight of him. "Hey, get back here! You haven't married us yet!" The Draculina shouted, but the priest turned the next corner and vanished from sight. Seras huffed, discarded her veil, tore a rip in the side of her gown (so she could take longer strides) then took off after the priest again.
The priest was nearly to the center of the maze when Seras leapt and caught him in a flying tackle. She pinned him to the ground. "Stop running. We can protect you."
Struggling beneath the vampire, the priest replied, "It's not me I'm worried about."
As if to punctuate the declaration, Seras heard a shrill scream. The vampire recognized the voice as the one belonging to the boy who had accompanied Alucard's daughters. Seras sighed and let the priest up. Then she turned to him, eying the Katana in his hand. "You know how to use that thing?"
The priest made a coy smile. "Just watch me."
Over by a table, near the mansion's rear entrance:
Walter stood, nobly doing his best to protect the wedding gifts. He twirled his fingers tightening the lines of his 'dental floss of death' and cutting five more of the enemy into pieces. Then the Hellsing butler turned to the large Celtic man at his side. "You know, never in all my life did I expect to end up fighting in a battle like this."
Anderson replied as he flicked his wrists, skewering more of their common enemy. "Yeah, pecked ta death by thousands of white doves. Gotta admit, I never saw dis comin'."
Walter smiled. "Well, we're not done for yet." He cast his wires out like a net, slicing into another squadron of the marriage birds.
Back at the makeshift bunker:
Another round of birds swooped down and attacked. Alucard launched a mass of shadow tendrils out of his shoulders, impaling a dozen of them in mid flight. The rest broke off to regroup. "You know, Master, I really don't understand why you ordered so many of these... winged rats."
"I didn't! Seras ordered the birds." Integra replied as she fired after the retreating creatures.
"Well, why did she order so many?"
"How should I know!" Integra shouted.
Maxwell chose that moment to cut in again. "You know, Integra, I'd just like to thank you for inviting us to this 'wonderful celebration'." Maxwell's tone practically oozed sarcasm.
"Hey! Don't blame me. Blame the two idiot vampires who ordered waaaay too many doves... and then decided to start killing some of them for dinner. Besides, I never thought you'd actually come!"
"So why'd you invite us?"
"Because," Integra drew the word out a little bit more than was usual. "I never thought you'd come." Integra sighed and reflected on just how she'd gotten herself into this predicament. Like everything else that went wrong in her life, it all started with Alucard.
Six months earlier:
"You want to get MARRIED!?" Integra shouted.
"No," Her servant calmly replied. "I want to get her into bed." Alucard grinned for a moment before continuing, "But the Police Girl refuses to do anything more than 'neck' until she has 'a ring on her finger'." Alucard sighed. "I tell you, Master, she can be quite frustrating at times."
Integra sat back, and pinched the brim of her nose, causing her glasses to raise slightly. The knight felt another of her headaches coming on. "I suppose..." Integra began slowly. "You've already explained to Seras that, according to vampire tradition, she's been your 'bride' since the first time you sunk your fangs into her neck."
Alucard huffed. "Of course, I have, Master. But she says that doesn't count. She wants to be married in accordance with English tradition, not just vampiric."
Integra took off her glasses, screwed her eyes shut and began to rub her temples. This was going to be a big one. While attempting to massage away her growing headache, the knight asked. "Do, you have any idea what's involved with a traditional English wedding?"
"No, Master." Alucard began then paused. "But do you remember those dreams you were having a few months ago?"
Integra stopped rubbing, and her eyes instantly shot open. "I thought I told you to never bring those up again."
"Yes. You did, the same day you told Seras how I felt about her. Forgive me, Master... but if things keep going the way they are, those dreams might start back up again."
"Are you threatening me, Vampire?" Integra glared at her servant.
"Not at all, Master. I'm merely informing you that I'm getting... 'frustrated' again; and if something doesn't happen soon, some of that frustration may start to bleed through our connection." The vampire grinned slightly. "Or would you've preferred it that I didn't warn you and you woke up in the middle of the night with your han..."
"Stop!" Integra shouted, then growled "Not another word, Vampire."
"Of course, Master." Alucard coyly replied.
"And wipe that grin off your face!"
"Yes, Master." The vampire answered, then stood there quietly for a few minutes before prompting, "So, about the marriage?"
Integra shook her head. "I suppose there's no other way for you two to work this out?"
"No, Master. I do not believe so."
The knight sighed, "Fine. You can have your marriage. I'll go over the details with Seras tomorrow."
"Thank you, Master." The vampire servant bowed, before disappearing through the floor.
Integra hit a button on her intercom. "Walter I need you to bring me up a glass of water and some aspirin."
Walter's voice chimed back through the machine. "Of course, Sir. How many would you like? Is this a normal headache... or an Alucard headache?"
Integra scoffed. "It's an Alucard and Seras want to get married headache."
The machine was quiet for a moment while Walter recovered from Integra's declaration. "Oh, dear. I'll just bring up the bottle."
"Thanks, Walter." Walter had a good idea about the bottle. Integra had a feeling that she'd be needing A LOT of aspirin over the next couple of weeks.
(Well, what did you think of the first chapter. I'm not really sure when I'll get around to updating this, but hopefully it won't take too long.
Have a good day, and God bless.