When one is in a Ford F-150, flat on your back in the blessedly large front seat with your lover completely perpendicular to you in his favorite, 'Ride 'Em Cowboy!' position, and the windows are thoroughly covered in enough fog that Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet would envy you, the words you don't want to hear coming from said perpendicular lover are, "Oh shit. We're out of car lube."

Sounds like something you go to a mechanic for, but when a naked Draco Malfoy sighs the words through a pretty pout, you know the gods of anal sex are laughing their asses off at you.

"What?"

"There's no lube."

"Did you look in the glove box?"

"Where do we usually keep the car lube, Potter?" the blond gritted out through perfect, white teeth.

"Well, let's just drive to the drugstore."

"I don't want that bullshit!" my privileged lover growled as he arched and further presented his beautiful body to me. "Does my body look like it tolerates plebian lubrication, Harry?"

"Not this skin," I agreed, smoothing my hands up and down it. "Nor inside of you."

"Mmm, no." The empty bottle was wiggled in front of me and I looked through the transparent purple of it to witness his smirk. "Looks like we're going to Spencer's. No! We're closest to the Toy Store. Go there and get me something naughty when you go in."

"You're not going in?"

"I'm naked."

"Me too!" I growled, thrusting up and causing a sound that was a hybrid of a moan and a hiccup.

"I was naked first, so you go," Draco smirked as he climbed off my lap. Needless to say, we drove to the Toy Store, I had on clothing, and he was naked, stretched out in the passenger seat and grateful for tinted, foggy windows. I went into the store and automatically walked to where I knew the lube was. Where was that special little bottle at?

"Excuse me, sir!" I yelled to a man who looked like he worked there. He raised his eyebrows in question. "Where is the Astroglide?"

"Oh, we moved it to advertise with our newest product." The man guided me to another aisle and once I saw the box adorned with music notes, the smile that spread on my face hurt my cheeks.

When I got back to the truck, my wanton blond was touching himself.

"Hi!" he moaned upon my arrival. I greeted him with a kiss and shook the paper bag in my hand towards him.

"I have a present!"

"What?! My lube?!"

"I got you something else."

"What?!" he asked with just as much excitement as with the lube.

"Where's your iPod?" I asked. "I want to play you a lullaby."

Within moments, the force of the orgasm from his brand new toy that vibrated with the beat of a string of his favorite songs had him sleeping in my lap like a baby as I drove him home.

An Astroglide covered baby.