Hello! Congratulations to all of you! You are getting to read my very first Chuck and Blair Fic! I'm a little nervous, because I'm a Naley diehard and have stayed in the One Tree Hill universe, but I hope you all will take it easy on me, as I try something new. Okay, I'm off to a bad start, because I picked a song title for the title of this fic, and that's sheer OTH habit. Forgive me, but I think the Kendall Payne song I Will Show You Love is perfect for Chair and this little story. It's set in the last episode before Christmas, where Chuck comes to see Blair during her mother's wedding. Disclaimer, disclaimer, you all know the drill. Here we go…
Blair felt him go lax in her arms, and with hers still wrapped around him, she eased him back onto her bed. Getting up, she quietly moved across the floor to shut her door before coming back to him. As she turned off her bedside lamp, his breathing became uneven and ragged, his body starting to thrash in the bed, and she quickly crawled in behind him, curving her body to his. Instantly he seemed to calm, and sink back into a deep sleep.
She gently let herself run her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, which she loved to do, which she knew he loved whenever he would let her get that close. She did it now while he was too far-gone to stop her, as she contemplated the boy sleeping in her bed. Even when she'd first met him it was like he was an adult looking out of a child's eyes, like he'd seen everything, and life held no surprises. He'd looked like a little boy when she'd walked into her room tonight. Lost.
Blair had many gifts, but the one that had served her the most was her ability to read people. She'd told Vanessa once that she liked to see the truth. The first time she saw Chuck she'd recognized a kindred spirit. Her weakness, however, was that she didn't want people to see the truth about her. She wanted people to see only what she wanted them to see, to control her own image. And that had been her downfall in the romance department from the start. Her mistake had a name, and it wasn't Chuck. It was Nathaniel Archibald. To be fair, it wasn't his fault. She'd seen him when she was five, and that had been it. She'd wanted him, she'd gone after him, and she'd landed him…and just look how that had turned out.
Somewhere along the way, Blair had started to realize that she had never really loved Nate, but loved the idea of him. She'd always cared about how things looked. How people saw her. Nate was the perfect polish to every outfit. And to give her credit, she'd tried to be a good girlfriend, she'd tried to be as perfect at that as she was at everything else, but it had all fallen apart. She'd blamed Nate, but maybe he'd just sensed that they weren't meant to be before she did?
Then there was Chuck. Sometimes it shocked her how she hadn't seen it before that night in the limo. Hell, she'd tried not to see it for months after. She loved Chuck Bass. Not just because he could make her eyes roll back in her head with just a touch, or because he could pick out the perfect outfit or piece of jewelry for her without her having to hint, prod, or manipulate him into selecting the one she wanted, or even because it got her going to match wits with him every chance she got. No, she loved Chuck because he was her match. He got her. With Nate, she had never been good enough; she had never cared enough about what he cared about. With Chuck she could be herself. No matter what. And given her personality, that was saying something.
Right now, lying here in her bed, she was afraid for him. He was like an open wound and she didn't know how to heal him. She didn't know how, but she was going to be there for him, one because she loved him, and two because she knew if their places were reversed he'd do the same for her. They were Chuck and Blair. Her hand came to rest on his side, and her eyes closed, following him into sleep.
Chuck woke as the booze in his system started to give up its hold on him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd slept, and he only remembered the drink after drink he'd poured down his throat trying to blot out everything. Pain coursed through him and his mind turned to his next drink. Then he felt her. Then he realized where he was.
He listened quietly for a moment and could tell by the pattern of her breath that she was sleeping. His eyes drifted to where her hand rested on his side and he couldn't resist gently taking it into his own. Who would have thought that something so small could hold him so tightly? Shutting his eyes he let her presence wrap around him like a blanket, and suddenly he didn't need a drink so badly.
It had been a while since they'd lain together like this. He hurt her; time and again he'd hurt her. He couldn't even say he wouldn't do it again. Sometimes he'd done it on purpose, like in the restaurant. He'd wanted her to pick him, not because he forced her hand, but because she wanted him. He'd wanted to hurt her as much as she had hurt him by choosing Nate… Hence the horse comment, but even that hadn't kept her away. She'd seen him at his worst, but they were still drawn to each other.
He couldn't remember when he'd fallen in love with her, maybe it had been right from the start. It had always been something he'd recognized though, even when he couldn't put a name too it. It was like they'd shared a connection. Like they were the same. He hadn't acknowledged it when she was dating Nate, and he'd later told himself that it was because Nate was his best friend and even he wouldn't cross that line, but that wasn't true. The truth was he'd never felt good enough for her. He still wasn't good enough for her.
He eased himself away from her and sat up, turning to look down at her. She was perfect. He smiled knowing that she wouldn't think so right about now, given that her hair was tousled and her dress was wrinkled, but to him she was still perfect. Since as far back as he could remember women had been drawn to him, whether it was the money, power or natural charm, he didn't know, and quite frankly hadn't really cared, but they were. Women sought him out, and he'd enjoyed the benefits of their interest greatly, but none of them could hold his interest for very long, which is why he preferred to have several on the go at once. It made their shelf life longer.
That had never been the case with Blair. She had always fascinated him, kept him guessing. Just when he thought he knew how she was going to react, or knew what she was up to, she surprised him. It was also more than what she did. He felt like he could talk to her, and even more shocking he wanted to know what she had to say. It also didn't hurt that she got him going more than any woman or set of twins he'd ever met. He didn't know how else to describe it, but he knew Blair Waldorf would never bore him.
Now, here he was, broken. He wasn't the right man for her. He didn't have the class of an Archibald. He didn't have the pedigree of a Duke. He had more money than Midas, but it was New money, and in their world that only took you so far. She was the embodiment of the best of their world, beautiful, smart, impeccable taste, and most importantly Old money. He was nothing. Even his own father had thought he was nothing. He knew the truth. He had no parents, and now he knew he could never have her. It was made all the worse by knowing that she loved him.
Getting up he walked to her desk where he wasn't surprised to find it perfectly set, ready for her to sit down and take on whatever she had on her plate that day, whether it be homework, or a disciplinary letter for Hazel about the perils of pulling a Brittany. Quickly jotting her a note, he went over and placed it on the pillow still warm from his head, and allowed him one moment to stroke her hair and imagine that she could be his. By the time he was through she'd hate him. He'd see to that.
Thad!!! That was my first Chair Fic! I shall dedicate it to my fellow Chair addict Maryam… Even though she won't send me pictures of her doing a DVD workout wearing trampoline shoes. Okay. I finished this while I was watching GG. It was brilliant the whole way through, than the last five minutes… I think I may have to throw up.