A/N - Ok so I know that I'm supposed to be updating An Unexpected Turn of Events, but I got a severe bout of writer's block on it. But the next chapter will probably be the last. I know I shouldn't have started on another chapter story, but I really couldn't help myself.
About this story. I decided to try a slightly different writing style. I'm sarcastic by nature (or so my friends tell me), so I thought to myself, why not incorporate that into my writing? Hope it's not too weird. Unlike my other story. I'll try to keep this short and to the point.
Please, please, please review. Tell me if it's good, bad, or predictable. Believe it or not, I actually get ideas for the story when people tell me what they think. Critiques rock! Though try to be nice when you have a criticism. I have a weak heart.. :)
Oh and I don't own Life With Derek.
Derek Venturi was a happy man. Yup, insanely, over-the-moon, never want to die 'cos life is so perfect, happy. Who wouldn't be happy to leave for college? To start their own un-family centered life? To finally, finally after three years of scheming to get what was rightfully his, three years of fighting for power that he was intended to posses in the first place, three years of her, he is finally, dare he say it, Casey free? If he was a thirteen year old girl, he would be jumping on his bed, squealing in happiness. But he wasn't. He was a man, no matter what his little sister might think. And men, did not squeal. He did do a very embarrassing 'triumphant' dance in the privacy of his bedroom when he found out that he was to have off-campus housing away from little Miss Priss . That, he was allowed to do. As a man.
Life was good. Life was fair. The creator finally noticed his suffering and decided to reward him mightily by taking away the cause of his suffering. And can the cause be anything but McDonald in nature? Derek let out a soft sigh as he leaned into his couch, propped his feet on his coffee table, grabbed his remote, and turned on his tv. The only thing missing from this perfect evening was..
There was a knock on the door. Derek grinned. Pizza. The food of Gods.
Looking back on this seemingly ordinary moment, he should not have made the effort to get up off the couch and answer the door. No. He should have stayed put. Ignored the call from the rest of civilization. But did he do that? Nope. Who would have done that when they had delicious pies coming their way? He knew his greedy self would get him into trouble soon. Although he had no idea that the trouble would have no relation to his eating habits. Why couldn't the universe have given him trouble in the form of.. um.. cholesterol? Instead, he was greeted by an unwanted surprise that made him stiffen in dread.
He croaked. His voice freakin' croaked. Like a frog. Or a toad. Or any other fearful animal in anticipation of it's death. Yup, to him Casey McDonald equals death. And no, he did not find that insensitive. What's so insensitive about the truth?
Casey huffed at him, like that was new, and handed him her cellphone. Derek stared at her dumbfounded.
NO. NO. NO.
This cannot be happening. Casey on her own was difficult to handle. With the right sedative, it's plausible. But Casey with a suitcase? Intent on entering his apartment that was suppose to be a Casey-free zone? And holding out her cellphone that had his home number on it, already dialed?
"No." Derek spoke firmly into the offending instrument.
"Derek." His father pleaded. "You know we wouldn't have asked this if it weren't absolutely necessary."
"No." Derek emphasized while eying his stepsister who crossed her arms and glared at him in annoyance.
"She needs a place to stay."
"No." His eyes narrowed at her. "Wasn't she suppose to have on-campus housing or something? With roommates?"
Casey stopped eying death rays at him to look away, embarrassed. Interesting. Very interesting.
George sighed on the other end. "The chemistry wasn't right." Sounds like something the Princess would say.
"You mean, they couldn't handle living with her." Derek said in a matter-of-fact tone. So, he wasn't paranoid. She was the most difficult person to live with. Save for an over enthusiastic trombone player, a super star wars keener, and even a mariachi band. Or perhaps he wasn't being fair. He would prefer the mariachi band to her nagging.
"No! End of discussion dad. I'm not living with her. This is my crazy-casey-free life that you're trying to ruin." He ignored her eye roll.
"It's only for a few days."
Derek scoffed. He knew when his father was lying. And boy, was he lying. "How few is few?"
A slight pause. "A few."
He thought so. "No." He repeated.
"It's not a discussion, Derek. She needs a place to stay, and your place is big enough."
"Yeah, big enough for one."
"You have a spare room." His father argued.
"That's for my pool table."
"You don't have a pool table."
"I might think of getting one."
Casey rolled her eyes again before grabbing her suitcase and moving forward. Derek's eyes widened at her insubordination. How dare she enter without his permission? He was the king! He was the ruler! And no peasant was to enter his realm without his permission.
"What do you think you're doing?" Derek screeched blocking her way.
With another eye roll for good measure, Casey grabbed her cellphone from his now limp hand. "I'm in George, thanks for the distraction."
Distraction? What distraction? Wait a minute. When did he come to the middle of his moderate living room? When did she manage to haul that giant bag of crap into his apartment? When did the door close? He looked at her confused. She tricked him? They both tricked him? The nerve!
"Uh huh.. Yeah.. " Derek crossed his arms in defiance while he waited for his dear 'ol step-sis to finish her conversation. He was getting more considerate as the years passed. "Okay then.. thanks George.. yeah.. I'll tell him.. bye."
"You can leave now." Derek said smiling in a very sinister manner. He refuses to live with her. Again.
"I'm home. So where could I possibly go?" She grabbed her bag and headed to the bedroom that was not occupied by him. He rented this place expecting to get a roommate. Not a royal pain in the ass disguising herself as a roommate.
"No! No. No. No." Derek blocked her from entering the bedroom. "This is not your home. This is my home. I bought it, and I will decide who will be my roommate."
Casey sighed. "Look, Derek. I'm not happy with this arrangement either. But I do need a place to stay. You have an empty bedroom right there." She gestured to the room he was currently standing in front of.
Wow. She sounded sincere. Too bad he knew when she spoke crap. And that, my friends, was utter crap. He raised his eyebrows at her. "You wanna try again?"
Her eyes narrowed. There's the tigress he knew she was. "I'm going to be your new roommate." She said matter of factually. "I'm going to go about my life ignoring you. And you are going to behave yourself around me. That means no junk food to be dropped around our apartment. No burping after every meal like it's a glorified sport. No hitting on my friends when they come over. No loud music when we have finals. No 'dropping in' unexpectedly when you promise to go out. No eating all of the food and refusing to get groceries. No bringing in girls while I'm here. No using any of my stuff without asking for permission first. And most of all, no pranks." Her breathing became ragged, as she took a threatening step towards him. "I mean it, Derek. One prank, just one, and so help me, I will shave your head while you sleep."
His eyes widened as he realized that he had no parental protection.
"Oh yeah. I went there." Casey snapped before pushing him aside, storming into the room and slamming the door shut.
Derek Venturi was not a happy man. He was pretty sure that the universe was out to screw him.