Sometimes, life does not make any sense. The forest, for example. I was never much of an outdoorsy girl, but it was only soil and shrubbery- definitely not too much for me to handle.
I had lost track of time as I stumbled around through the dark labyrinth of evergreens. It was close to twilight, but that did not mean much. After all, the days were getting shorter as winter approached.
Though I had always been quite logical, I couldn't help but think that I was passing the same trees twice- three times even. I didn't even try to protect myself from my thoughts when I began to doubt my sanity. To help keep a straight path, I stared down at my rain boots. This was probably a good idea anyway, because I tended to fall over pine roots that I swear appear out of no where. I began to count my steps.
438. 439. 440. 441.
When I eventually looked up, my heart stopped beating. It stood still for a while, and I stood still for an eternity. Maybe longer than that. There was no concept of time in the place that I was in now. I wasn't even sure where I was now. It was either heaven or hell. It could have been purgatory. In my mental state, I was at a loss for words. I decided to think of it as I had all along.
I was in the same state of mind that I was in as I had walked towards the house. The place where they had lived. The only place that they didn't have to hide. The thought sent shivers up my spine.
A song began to play in my head. It was a beautiful amalgamation of perfectly synchronized chords and melodies that wove like ribbons throughout my dormant heart. It began to pulsate somewhere in my chest, obviously in a futile attempt to reawaken my soul. It wasn't as futile as I thought, however. The giant hole that I had become accustomed to was large as ever, though the beautiful harmony created a sieve that draped over it, as though shielding it from the awful memories.
When I regained feeling in my legs, I took a step forward through the tall grass. It had become overgrown, as if it, too, had died. Maybe I wasn't the only one affected by their absence. Maybe, inconspicuously, everything had been damaged in some way or another. This thought comforted me. Maybe, somehow, I wasn't completely alone. When everything that I lived for had vanished, the flowers in the meadow died as well.
When I arrived in the center of the meadow, I let my eyes drift shut. For the second time today, I let my mind blackout. My mind spent the majority of its time like that- non-existent.
Somehow, I ended up on the soft ground. I could feel the soft rain and dew seeping through my light shirt, but I did not care. At some point, a dragon fly landed on my shoulder. It may have been a bee; I was too delusional to classify insects.
The voice was mesmerizing, and it took my breath away at once. My eyes flew open in anticipation, glancing around for the source of the musical voice. I could not find it, and horror swept through my veins. Of all the things that I had imagined, I had been positive that that voice had existed. No hallucination was powerful enough to send shocks of electricity through my bloodstream.
Overcome with calamitous disappointment and grief, I let myself sink back into my semi-slumber. And one again, my heart resumed its ominous pounding.