The Teen-Ed Years
Here's my take on what Ed, Edd, N Eddy and the gang would turn out to be in a few years.
Warnin'!Some stuff here may be unsuitable for way-younger kids. No way-extreme stuff, but, ya know...
"Eddy! Get your lazy carcass out of bed before you're late for school!" the voice downstairs bellowed throughout the house.
"Alright! Geez, I'm awake!" grumbled Eddy as he slowly raised up. He let out a yawn and stretched, giving his stomach a good scratch, "Who's idea was it to have school so early in the morning anyway?"
He lazily stood up, stumbling a bit, and made his way into the bathroom. "Eddy, you're looking positively hunk-a-licious today!" he grinned, slicking his hair back with a hand.
"EDDY! Hurry up and get down here NOW!"
"I'm coming, Mom! Chill, okay?" he yelled back, then muttered under his breath, "Before you give yourself a damn hernia."
Eddy splashed water on his face, then preceeded to throw on his baggy jeans and white tank-top undershirt, and put on an unbuttoned T-shirt. Finally, he slicked his hair back, three of the strands refusing to lay down by falling over his face. With a shrug, he raced downstairs.
He stopped in the doorway of the kitchen and crossed his arms, "Enjoying my breakfast, Ed?"
Ed raised up from the toast on his plate, "Buttered toast, Eddy. Mom fixed eggs, so I brought 'em over to trade."
He pulled a handful of scrambled eggs from his pants pocket and flopped them on the table.
Eddy grinned weakly, "No thanks, Ed. I'm not that hungry this morning."
Ed waved a hand, "Oh, I see. You're nervous about the first day of school. It is okay." He shoved the eggs in his mouth.
That made Eddy laugh. Even with a few new brain cells over the years, Ed still had that ignorant charm about him.
He rubbed a hand over his fully-grown head of hair and sighed, "C'mon, Ed. Let's go get Double D."
Along the way, they met up with Sarah and Jimmy, who sported their backpacks and stood at the bus stop.
"Mom says if you don't clean the coop, she's gonna fry your chicken for supper," Sarah calmly said, checking her make-up with her hand-held mirror.
"When I get home, little sister," Ed patted her on the head and looked to Eddy, "My mom said I could have a chicken!"
"Have fun in junior high," Eddy said, pulling Ed onward, "I know we sure didn't."
They approached the door and rang the bell, hearing a deep voice.
"It's the guys. I'm gone, Mom!" Double D yelled to his mom as he opened the door, "Hey." He grinned, the still-present gap in his teeth shining.
"Did you pack all your supplies, Edward?"
"Yeah, got it. See ya later," he rolled his eyes.
"Don't forget to mow the lawn when you come home, young man!"
"Whatever, Mom. Love ya," he slammed the door, "Let's kick it outta here."
A silver Ford Mustang convertible lay waiting for the boys on the corner.
"Whoa! Dig the wheels, Eddy. Awesome...," Double D whistled.
"Yeah, and the car looks nice, too," Ed grinned.
As they hopped into the car, Eddy noticed the new look Double D sported. He fixed the mirror and started the engine, pulling off the corner of the cul-de-sac.
"What's with the winter look?"
Double D lazily raised up from his seat and pulled off his long-sleeved sweatshirt, "Can't let Mother Dearest find out about this little baby." He pointed to the large tattoo covering his right arm in the shape of a dragon. Eddy and Ed looked on in disbelief.
He laughed, "Heh, had it done last week with the money my mom gave me to buy new strings for that freakin' guitar."
"You still have that old thing? God, it's, like, ancient!" Eddy said, putting on a pair of sunglasses.
"Yeah, but not for long, heh," he patted his backpack, "I'm selling it to the first freshmen I find."
"Since we are no longer freshmen, does that make us rottenmen?" Ed innocently asked.
Eddy and Double D exchanged looks. Eddy smiled, "Yeah, Ed, but the term now is 'senior."
"Oh...no wonder I feel so old."
Ed's worrying over age soon disappeared as he discovered pieces of egg still in his pocket. Lint and all went down his large throat.
Double D smacked his lips, "Say, Eddy, got a cigarette on ya? I wanna get a quick puff before class."
"Uh, sure, Double D. In the glove department," Eddy said, a bit confused. He had never known Double D to smoke, but it was true he had begun to rub off on his friend. He looked on as Double D removed his hat long enough to grab the cigarette lighter hidden underneath.
"Watch the road, Eddy," Double D grumbled as he fidgeted with the lighter. He swerved back into his lane in time for an on-coming car to pass by.
Eddy flushed with embarassment, but to change the subject, he spoke aloud, "Well, men, here we are. We are in charge this year!"
"Great, I've had my heart set on welcoming the newest editions to our school," Double D smirked, tossing the cigarette butt to the ground and stepping from the car.
Eddy placed an arm around Double D and joked, "It's times like these I'm most proud. You're a chip off the old Eddy."
"And don't you forget it," he poked Eddy in the chest, "C'mon, Ed. It's time to rock this joint."
Ed stumbled over the door and laughed, following his friends towards the square. They were met by three familiar faces.
"Hiiiiii, guys!" the Kanker sisters screeched, "Ready for your senior year with us?"
"Buzz off, girls," Eddy spat, "We got bigger fish to fry."
Strange enough, the girls stepped from the Eds' path as they continued on. Marie blew them a kiss while May batted her eyes and waved them on.
"Ooooh, I love it when they act dominate," Lee swooned.
By then, the morning bell had rung, sending the students in different directions. Luckily, Ed, Edd, and Eddy had the same first-hour class, so they were able to find three desks in the back of the room.
"Chemistry first hour? Man, someone's trying to burn me out," Eddy groaned. Ed didn't look too pleased, either.
"No sweat, guys," Double D said, reclining in his seat, "Chemistry is my middle name."
"I thought it was..."
Double D interrupted, "No, it isn't and don't let me catch you saying that out loud!"
Before the second bell rang, an old friend walked into the classroom. He sadly skulked to a nearby desk and slumped down.
"Hey, Jonny!" Ed squealed, "Where's Plank?"
Jonny gave the Eds a depressing look and turned back towards the front as the teacher began the day's lesson, leaving them in total confusement.
The next bell rang, signaling for second hour to begin. About this time, only Double D sat awake listening to the teacher's long rambling. He smacked the other two on the heads, "Wake up! Gotta go to Phys. Ed. I only pray dodgeball is never brought up in that class."
The three walked down the hall towards the gymnasium. Eddy gave Double D a reassuring pat on the back, "No sweat, bro. We're the seniors, remember? WE get to nail you-know-who with the dodgeballs this year!"
He perked up, "The FRESHMEN!"
Double D's outburst was soon interrupted by a gang of boys at the end of the hall. They were surrounding a smaller person. The boys taunted and terrified him beyond thought.
"Hey, I wanted to pick on the freshmen, too, but not scare 'em shitless!" Double D growled, stalking towards the group as he rolled a shirt sleeve up, "HEY! Leave that kid alone!"
He grabbed one of the boy's shirt collars and threw him against a row of lockers. Before any of the other guys could team up on Double D, Eddy and Ed ran over and broke the fight up.
In the midst of all the action, Jonny stood petrified, his back against the wall. Ed rubbed his fuzzy head.
"Are you okay, Jonny?"
Jonny gave Ed a slight nod, and preceeded to slip away and into the crowd nearby.
By now, Eddy managed to run the other guys off, allowing Double D a moment to calm down.
"Why does Jonny act weird?" Ed asked.
Eddy shrugged as the second bell rang, giving them only seconds to make it into the gym before the teacher caught them.
Eddy played basketball with a few classmates on the court as the teacher took a few others out to the field. Double D stood in the corner of the gym, staring intently at the punching bag as he gave it his hardest blows.
As the basketball was passed to Kevin, he shot at the goal and whispered to Eddy, "What's eating him? I've never seen him so tense."
Eddy grabbed the ball and dribbled, "Some boys were picking on Jonny earlier. I guess he's still worked up about it."
He leaned in closer to Kevin, "What's the deal with Jonny anyway? He's been acting strange all morning."
"What? You didn't hear about it? Jonny's parents took Plank away and now he's having to see a counselor."
"Man, tough luck," Eddy sighed as Ed came running towards them.
"Hey, guys! The coach said I could play football! I'm gonna be a refund!"
"No, Ed, that's quarterback. And congrats, man!"
"I wanna tell Double D!" he sang aloud as he made his way to the corner. Eddy and Kevin tried to stop him, for Double D still punched at the bag with extreme anger.
Amazingly, Double D stopped, wiping sweat from his face and smiled as Ed excitedly told him the news. Kevin and Eddy gave a sigh of relief.
"Hello, Kevin," a familiar face showed up, "The coach awaits. You're trying out for the basketball team this year, yes?"
"Wouldn't miss it for anything, Rolf," Kevin smiled, then slapped a hand on Eddy's back, "Take it easy, alright?"
Eddy waved as Kevin and Rolf headed for the locker room, then met up with his friends, "Boy, Double D, ya sure gave that bag a workout."
Double D gave his relaxed smile and laughed, "Yeah, well, I found it's better than a cigarette. Whoa, there's the bell again. I'm off to Advanced Trigonometry. I'll meet you guys at lunch."
Ed grinned, "I hope they have meatloaf today. I liked the green stuff molded on it."
The lunchroom was filled with hungry students, who pushed and made their way to their seats. The Eds found their usual corner table and preceeded to gripe about their first-day homework assignments.
"I have to write some stupid report about what I done all summer," Eddy shoved a spoonful of Jell-O in his mouth.
"Too bad you can't write about when we were younger. You remember...the long summers and us scheming practically every day," Doube D said in a dazed manner, as if he was going back a few years n his mind.
"Yeah...talk about some fun days... Well, what homework were you plowed down with?"
Double D laughed, "Me? Ha! Had all my work finished in class. I'm free for the day!"
"I should have known better," Eddy smirked.
"My English teacher said I should say stuff that made sense," Ed gleamed proudly.
"Ed, we've been telling you that for years."
He sat silent for a moment, then blurted out, "Gravy!"
Double D and Eddy gave a sigh. Some things never change. But yet, much had indeed changed since their youth.
"Hey, guys," Nazz giggled as she sat down next to Ed, "Haven't seen you all morning."
"How's everything for you, Nazz?" Eddy asked.
"Pretty cool. I just found out I'm going to be on the cheerleader squad."
"I'm going to be a refund!" Ed chirped.
Nazz giggled once more, "You guys are too much."
Kevin plopped down beside her, drawing her in with a kiss on the cheek, "Hey, babe. Ya gonna swing those pom-poms for me at the game Friday?"
"You know it."
Nazz looked over to Double D, who hadn't said a word since she sat down. When she spoke his name, he nearly jumped from his chair.
"Double D, you have a tattoo? Can I see?" she spoke softly, holding up his arm.
He jerked from her grasp, jumping up and grabbing his tray, "Um..it's still a little sore. I'm gonna go to the library." He nervously looked at Ed and Eddy, "Meet you later." With that, he hurried from the lunchroom.
Eddy quietly pulled open the door and ushered Ed inside. When the coast looked clear, he snuck in behind.
"Of all the places to hide, he goes to the library," he groaned, receiving a dirty look from the librarian.
He walked rapidly through the aisles, Ed following like a lost puppy. As they went towards the old literature half of the library, they found Double D. He tugged at a strand of hair and carelessly flipped through an old book.
"I guess you're gonna laugh at me now," he whispered, not looking up from the book.
"We can't, Double D," Ed frowned, "We're not allowed to make noise in the library."
Eddy gave him a slap to the head and came towards his friend. He rubbed his head and placed a hand on Double D's shoulder, "No, man. I had no idea you were still...um...you liked...er, felt that way...about Nazz."
"Some things never change, huh?" Double D said in a sarcastic manner, "But I should have known her and Kevin would be an item...they always have."
Eddy felt uncomfortable with the subject, but to make his friend feel better would be a sacrafice to make. He stammered on, "Well...maybe so, but then again...maybe not. You've got all your life to find that special someone, whether it be Nazz or not. But until then...you still have us, after all these years. What better deal can you possibly ask for?"
Ed smothered them both with a great bear hug. Upon gathering his breath, Double D smiled, "You're right. Through thick and thin, Hell and high water, it's always been the three of us together. Best friends, man. But still, I'm going to be on the lookout for that special girl."
He walked towards the door, looking back at his two friends, "C'mon, guys. I have a yard to mow. After that, we have the afternoon to cause chaos, Ed, Edd, 'N Eddy style."
They stopped dead in their tracks when the door flung open and the Kanker sisters stood in wait.
"Awww, what a touching moment!" Lee laughed.
"Speaking of touching," Marie sneered, "Let's kiss them!"
The Eds ran over the girls, making their way to the parking lot as they gave chase.
"I love it when a man plays hard to get!" May giggled as they zig-zagged through the schoolyard.
Double D looked at Eddy, huffing, "Eddy! I think I can wait a while longer before I wanna deal with girls!"
Eddy nodded, jumping over the hood of his car as the three climbed in, peeling out in the rocks and leaving the Kankers in the dust.
Ed leaned over the seat, laughing in his usual way, "If being a senior is this fun, imagine what it's gonna be like when we're in COLLEGE!"
The other two exchanged exasperated looks. This was turning out to be quite the year of the Eds indeed.