New and Improved Disclaimer, Circa 2022: Hey there guys, gals, and non-binary pals! (Thanks, Thomas Sanders). I recently figured out how to log back into my old fanfic account and have decided to do some housekeeping. Adding necessary content warnings to my stuff, editing some things that need it, apologizing for younger me's bad taste...
The Poetry Corner is gonna be a project. There's so much I want to fix on here. If you happen to stumble across something... Off-color in this or any of my fanfics (anything racist, homophobic, or in others ways Not Cool), please message me so I can do something about it. The version of me from 2010ish was not the best. I refuse to just delete my past, but I can attempt to make amends for it.
Also, I fully realize there's probably nobody reading my old stuff and I may just be talking to myself here... But I've wanted to do this for awhile, anyway. It's kind of... Nice? I guess, to revisit my past and reflect on how far I've come. If I hadn't started writing here... I wouldn't be where I am today.
Names of real people have been changed for privacy. Also, for the record, descriptions of real events from my life have been exaggerated or altered for comedy and should not be taken as fact.
My high school Spanish teacher is now my friend and actually a cool person so, like, sorry for her portrayal.
Also, as of 2022... I actually am a poet...
I'm not a poet, and boy do I know it!
But, I am St. Fang of Boredom, and I must live up to the 'boredom' part of my name, which is not hard to do in Spanish class.
Let me explain...
Ms. Spanish Teacher: -insert random spanish babbling here-
Me: So. Damn. Boring...
Fang: You could be taking notes.
Me: Oh, that's exciting. Hey, what're you doing here, anyway.
Fang: Shhh...I'm a ninja.
Me: Ok...Oh! I've got an idea!
Fang: Taking notes?
Me: No, silly! I could write random poetry!
Fang: God, save us all...
Me: So, I'm no poet, but I'm bored! Plus, the teacher will never notice this little notebook under my desk...
Fang: Just like she won't notice that girl's cell phone under her desk?
Me: Exactly. Oooo...inspiration!
I have issues
Fang has wings
That girl'll be in trouble
If her cell phone rings!
Fang: Robert Frost you are not.
Me: Yoda, you are.
Me: No, you're my Fang!
F- Flying black Wings
G- God damn is he sexy!
Me: Oh, here's a poem describing how we first met...
Once upon a time a Saint
Was so bored she thought she might faint
So off she ran into the night with a bang
To go and kidnap poor little Fang!
Fang: -muchos sarcasm- Inspiring...
Me: I think so.
Fang's got a gun
Eraser's on the run...
Fang: Let me guess, that's all of the song that you know.
Me: Well, yeah, kinda...
My spanish teacher is most annoying
She makes this class very boring
Fang: Do 'annoying' and 'boring' really rhyme?
Me: I'll figure that out some other time...
Fang: Oh, that was creative...
Me: I'll show you creative...
Fang and Iggy sittin' in a tree
Iggy's got a secret Fang won't believe
First comes child support Fang won't pay
Now Justin's gonna get adopted someday!
Fang: Not Justin again...
Me: Oh, yes, Justin...
Roses are red
Fang's turning blue
'cause the child support's due!
Fang: I am not turning blue.
Me: Well, it rhymed...
Fang is sexy
Fang is pretty
God these poems
Are pretty shitty
Fang: You can say that again.
Me: -smacks- Shut up!
Ms. Spanish Teacher: ¿Què?
Fang: How about you try actually doing some spanish?
Me: O-tay! ¿Me permite meter un mono en tú pantalones?
Fang: ¡No! ¡No monos en mi pantalones!
Me: ¿Por que?
Fang: ¡Los monos morden!
Me: -evil grin- I didn't know you spoke spanish!
Fang: I have many hidden talents...
Fang: Maybe you should try getting back to writing fanfiction...
Me: Yay! Rhyming fanfiction!
Fang: That's not what I meant...
Me: Let me find some words...
Fang, Mang, Tang, Sang, Bang, Gang, Hang, Pang, Rang.
All the fangirls wanted Fang involved in some Mang, so they made him drink Tang, and everyone Sang, and he ran off with a Bang, to go join a Gang, but the Erasers found him and sentenced him to Hang, but Lissa saved him, which gave Max a Pang of jealousy, so she beat her on the head 'till her ears Rang.
Fang: That made no sense!
Me: Of course it did! It, well...ok, it makes no sense.
Hey, look! I've found some hidden meanings!
Fang: Hidden meanings of what?
G- Getting it on
F- Fang and
Y- Yeah, right.
I- Iggy and
A- Atrocious and
Fang: I think you need mental evaluation...
Me: I'm in Honors Psychology!
Fang: And it's doing soooo much good...
Me: Guess what?
Fang: -sigh- What?
Fang and Saint makes Faint! or Sang!
Nudge and Justin makes Nustin! or Judge!
Fang: Another inspiring discovery...
Me: Holy Crap! To Psychology!
Fang: Let's try paying attention in this next class, ok?
Me: OMC! My bestest friend is in that class! Squee!
I'd love to say that that didn't really happen, but, yeah, it did. It's all written in my notebook...
So I can blame Fang for my bad Spanish grade!
Fang: How the heck is it my fault?
Me: It just is!
Anyway, since I had this all written down, I decided to let all you wonderful people see it, too. Why? Well, I have nothing better to do...
Fang: And you feel this strong need to show everyone how bad your poetry is.
Me: Well, yeah, but oh well. And yes, people, I know how bad it all is, you don't need to tell me, really.
Fang: I'm hungry.
Me: Me too. Let's make sandwiches!
Fang: First thing you've said all day that I agree with...