Author's Note: Hey guys! I kind of wanted to write a Rome story, and since it is kind of bare right now, I figured what the heck! This is just going to be a one-shot, a little short but hopefully you all like it! I have used the story line from Rome, not the actual story line from history, and the physical appearances of all the actors/actresses from the wonderful T.V. show. Please don't forget to review :)
I never left you.
And he thought he never could, until now.
He was never one to feel guilty, but when he stared at the naked body of the 21 year-old Egyptian Queen he had possessed a few hours ago, there was an unbidden pit that formed in the bottom of his stomach. He didn't love her, he could never love her. He only had loved two women in his life, his first wife and Servilia Caepoinis. One was long since dead, the other might as well be. The hurt he felt would never go away, and he would never show it. He contented himself with Cleopatra.
She was mousy yet attractive and he hadn't felt that passion in years, since he broke it off with her. But he knew that there was no love in that heated session, just lust and a meeting of two-powerful people of the world.
Cleopatra was a Queen, what was she? The daughter of the insolent Caepio and the infamous Livia Drusa, nothing compared to a Queen whose line was traced back to the noble conquests of Alexander the Great.
Cleopatra made him happy. She was his puppet-Queen, the Egyptian Queen that he could control, unlike her brother. She was smart, feisty, but submissive.
I am your slave.
Something about a Queen saying that sparked a hidden fire inside of him, one that he had never really been able to kindle. His wives had submitted to him, all three of them, but they weren't royal. They weren't Queens.
When Cleopatra said that to him, he felt as great as Alexander, something that he had always longed for.
Servilia would have never said something like that. She always had to be equal, if not greater, than him. She could never take second-place to any man. She was a challenge, and what was Cleopatra? Caesar didn't know. He looked at her lying next to him, searched for an answer, but one never came to him.
Cleopatra was just as much as an enigma as Servilia, but the two women couldn't be any more different.
Sleeping with Cleopatra was more than just soothing a desire that burned deeply inside of him, it was political. He knew that. He was old enough to be her father, and not as handsome as he once was. Cleopatra didn't seem like the type who would submit to a man such as him because he simply desired him. She wanted power; he could see it in her eyes. He had always felt the same way, and like her, he would have done anything to gain that power.
But we love each other.
Of course they loved each other. Caesar loved her in his own way, something that he couldn't describe to anyone, not to his trusted Posca, not even to his beloved mother when she was still alive. When Servilia had spoken those words to him, it was hard for him to turn away. He still remembered the sound of his hand colliding with her check. He would never forget. But it was necessary.
She compromised something far dearer to him than anything material. Power. Control.
He had stayed in Rome longer than he should have instead of pursuing Pompey because he couldn't stand to leave her again. She had waited to him while he was in Gaul for those long years, conquering yet another territory for the growing Empire of Rome.
When he first met her, he knew that it was about power too. Servilia was ambitious as any man in the Senate he knew, but mostly for her son. She would have slept with Pluto himself if it offered her dear Brutus power and control.
Poor Brutus always listened to his mother. He wasn't ambitious as such, but more gentle and poetic. Caesar was always fond of Brutus, and almost felt bad for him. He knew first hand that it was hard being under a harsh mother's paw. Servilia seduced him because he was a powerful man, not as powerful as he was now, he thought wryly as he lay next to the Egyptian Queen, but he held enough power and raw ambition to push her son's interests.
He didn't know when it happened, but it did. They fell in love. The desire for each other grew as their ages did. If Gaul wasn't such a prospect, he never would have left her, and that thought scared him. He was Gaius Julius Caesar, and by the gods, no woman had ever held that much control over him. He didn't know how he let it happen.
When they were reconciled after Atia's dinner party, he couldn't stand the thought of leaving her again. So he stayed in Rome and declared Martial law while Pompey gathered an army. He allowed his love for her, and she herself, to control him.
Be rid of her and we will say no more, or divorce will follow.
Vulgar drawings on the walls of the city ruined their relationship. Calpurnia, as a dignified Roman matron, had to say something once it became public. He couldn't allow their marriage to end over something like that. Calpurnia was from a powerful family, and they wouldn't take kindly if he were to cast her aside and wed Servilia.
Servilia was the most unpleasant he had ever seen her. She screamed and cried which was so unlike her. Usually her emotions were hidden so well, even her love for him. She turned into hysterics, slapping him and calling him names. His anger got the best of him, but her womanly slaps had hurt him, not physically, but emotionally.
He had to leave her to fulfill his own ambitions. Being the First Man in Rome was more important than his love affair.
Good advice, if I wanted to control Egypt.
A lie, of course. Cleopatra had seen that, but she hid it masterly. Egypt had not yet succumbed to the Roman military machine, but he now had created a puppet Queen, a vassal. Cleopatra had seen the sense in gaining his good will by carnal means, and he enjoyed her company the previous night.
As a lover, she was nothing compared to Servilia, who never ceased to surprise and please him.
Cleopatra, however, represented more than just a quick love affair. She was a Queen. She was his Queen. She belonged to him.
Egypt was not yet a Roman providence, but it soon would be, because of him.
He found a way to control the young Queen.
Servilia, although an influential woman, held no power or prestige on the stage that he was playing on. She wasn't the leader of another country. Cleopatra was.
If Caesar had a choice, it would be always control over love, not matter what.
So yeah, kind of short, but I hope you all liked it! Please Review, and if you like it I will try and write some more stories for this show :)