Howdy, folks! (Hi, I'm Woody. Howdy, Howdy, Howdy!) Haha. Any time someone says Howdy, I always think of that. Well anyways, this is another one-shot I couldn't out of my head. I'm still trying to work through my writer's block and it seems to be coming along alright so far. I just think I've hit a road block with my other stories and for that I apologize. I do hope you enjoy this little one-shot though. And, of course, nothing belongs to me except the horrible ideas that I get. :D

Pepper Spray

It was Friday night and of course I was home. I was never one for going out and partying much, like my fellow peers. My best friend, Alice, was out with her new boyfriend Jasper and Angela was out with Ben.

Emmett was upstairs getting ready for his date tonight with Emily. I had just finished taking the lasagna out of the oven, when Emily walked into the kitchen. I swear Emmett is such a girl sometimes. What kind of guy makes the girl wait because he's still getting ready? Well, luckily, Emily was a very nice and patient girl.

"Hey, Bells." She greeted me and sat down on one of the empty bar stools at the table. "Boy that smells good."

"Hey, Emily," I answered. "Thanks. Want some," I offered her even though I knew she was going to go to dinner with Emmett tonight.

"Nah, we're probably going to eat out later," she said. "Thanks though."

I cut the lasagna into squares and removed a piece for myself. I took my plate and my glass of milk and set it on the table and began to eat.

Emily and Emmett had been dating for about two months now. She was the first girl that Emmett had ever brought home, so my dad and I had taken an immediate liking to her. She was sweet and humble girl with ebony colored hair and eyes, and fair tan colored skin. We had met her at La Push, while visiting our friends down at First Beach. Emily wasn't the typical girl that Emmett dated … namely she wasn't a skank. So while Emmett was upstairs taking his sweet ass time, Emily and I talked.

"So, do you have any plans tonight, Bella?" she inquired.

"Not really," I said. "It's just going to be me, my blanket, and Jane Austen tonight." I smiled.

"Still choosing those fictional romances over the real thing I see," she said. "Bella you should go out and find your own Mr. Darcy. God knows he's not going to come to you."

"Emily, both you and I know that there are no guys like Darcy," I sighed.

"Very true," she sighed also. "But, I know that there is someone who would gladly like to be your Mr. Darcy in a heartbeat," she said with a wicked grin on her face.

"Please, I don't know who you're talking about." I said before taking a bit of my food.

"Sure you don't," she said. "Like you don't know that a certain bronze hair guy with emerald-green color eyes has the hots for you."

"What?" I said in disbelief. "You couldn't possibly mean Edward?" Edward Cullen was my brother's best friend. We often hung out with each other and I got along great with him. I was also ridiculously in love with him, but I know that he never saw me more than just a friend and my brother's little sister. So I was content with just being friends.

Emily rolled her eyes at me. "Yes, Edward. Who else? Tell me you haven't noticed."

I shook my head. "It's not like that. Edward and I are just friends."

"I have only hung out with all of you guys a few times, but from what I've seen, that boy is in love with you. The way he looks at you is just so, so … lovingly. Not to mention that when he does look at you, your face lights up like a bush fire." She began to laugh just then.

"Whatever, you don't know what you're talking about," I said, my face beginning to heat up. "Again, It's not like that and even if it were, I'm not interested in dating," I sighed.

"And thank heavens for that," my dad said as he walked into the kitchen. "You're only sixteen after all, and I already have enough to worry about with Emmett," he added, making Emily blush and look down at her hands.

"Bella, that smells good, can you get me some of that," he said as he sat down at the table and dropping his bag to the floor. He looked tired and exhaled loudly as took his seat. He must have had a long day at work. "Emily, dear, how are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm doing great, Chief Swan. How about yourself?" she asked.

I set the plate of food and his usual can beer in front of him. "Thanks, Bella, sweetheart," he said as he leaned in to kiss my cheek. "I'm okay. Just tired as always when I get out of work."

I went back to my seat and continued eating.

"How's your mom doing?" he asked her.

"Oh, she is coming along great. She's due any day now," Emily said cheerfully.

"That's good to hear," he said before diving into his food.

Emily and I started talking about random things from school to movies and music. Finally we started discussing her plans for tonight.

"Emmett wants to see some scary horror film tonight. I'm not really into those types of films and he knows that," she sighed.

"I'm sure he does," I said with my mouth full. I took a sip of my drink before continuing, "He probably chose that kind of movie so you would have no choice but to hide in his arms."

We both rolled our eyes. That is such an Emmett thing to do.

"So, you guys are going to a movie tonight," my dad said not taking his eyes from his plate.

"That's the plan," Emily said timidly.

"Hmm," he said and then took a gulp of his beer. "Any other plans?"

Emily and I glanced at each other momentarily before she answered his question.

"Probably dinner afterwards," she qualified.

He didn't say anything, but instead continued chewing his food and looking intently down at his plate.

From upstairs we could hear Emmett bustling about his room. He stuck his head out of his room and shouted that he'd be down in a minute.

My dad took another gulp of his beer and grunted has he swallowed. "So, just dinner and a movie," he inquired as he picked his fork and knife back up. He began cutting his food again, "will there be any other pit stops?"

I cannot believe he was asking her this; as if there would ever be need to question her intentions?

Emily looked at him warily then looked over to me for assistance. I shrugged my shoulders; I had no idea where he was getting at. When I couldn't offer her any help she turned back to my father who still hadn't taken his eyes off his plate.

In a very timid and unsure voice, Emily said, "I … don't expect …that we will."

"You don't expect …" he grumbled in a low almost disapproving tone. He then let his fork and knife fall onto the plate with an audible clink. He sighed once and then finally looked up and stared at Emily.

The tension in the room had become almost unbearably uncomfortable. I could do nothing to ease it except continue eating my food and try my hardest not to look up from my plate.

"Emily," he finally said. "I know that you're a very nice girl and all, but …" he exhaled nervously. This was not happening; he was not going to chastise her about her relationship with Emmett.

She looked extremely nervous and she began taking short rapid breathes. I felt so bad for her; I can't believe he was doing this to her.

Before continuing, he reached down to the floor where he had dropped his bag earlier. He rummaged through it before retrieving a small object from it.

He stretched his hand over to Emily and said, "I want you to take this Emily." She reached out her hand and took whatever it was my father had given her. It looked like a small tin canister of sorts, almost like a spray can.

My eyes almost popped out of my sockets when I realized what it was. "Is that …" I began to say in disbelief.

"Pepper spray," Emily said in an equally shocked tone.

We both looked at each other and then turned to look at my father. My father sighed again and put his hand over the hand Emily had the small can of pepper spray in.

"Emily, I know what my son is thinking. I know what boys his age are thinking. Please take care of yourself."

Emily's mouth dropped open as I dropped off my stool laughing hysterically. I hit the floor hard, literally knocking the wind out of myself. I clutched at my side, unable to contain myself. I cannot believe he said that to her; telling her to be wary of his own son. As I continued to die laughing on the floor, Emmett finally emerged.

"What's all the commotion?" he asked and saw me on the floor. "Why is Bella on the floor laughing?" He looked to our father just then. He was still holding Emily's hand, concealing the small container from Emmett's eyes. "What's going on?" he asked more urgently.

Emily quickly came out of her stunned silence and very discretely pocketed the pepper spray. "Nothing, your dad was just giving me some parental advise is all. Your sister just thought it was funny. Are you ready to go now?" She said hopping off the stool.

He looked back and forth between Emily and our dad and then looked down at me still laughing uncontrollably on the floor.

"Alright, that's enough Bella," my dad interjected while giving me a warning look. "Emmett, Emily, you kids have a nice time tonight."

I got up just then, still slightly laughing and wiping the tears from my eyes.

Emmett glared at me and our father before taking Emily's hand and began leading her out of the kitchen. "Yeah, let's get out of here."

As they walked through the door, Emily turned one last time to look at us. My father quickly took the opportunity then and mouthed, "Be safe," while making a spray-like motion with his hand which started a whole new round of laughter for me.

He turned to look at me just then, "Just wait until it's your turn, missy. You won't be laughing then." He smirked before turning back to his food.

I quickly stopped laughing, all humor wiped from my face. Oh Lord!

A/N: Please don't forget to review. Thanks a bunch!