AN: It's truly been forever and for that, I apologize. I didn't abandon the Audrey POV chapters, I was just taking a break.
The following takes place during chapters 33-35; the chapters where Jasper figures out that Ben's not only cheating on Audrey, but also hit her…and decides to take her home with him.
~June 7th, 2011
I thought I was capable of doing it all on my own. I thought that once I told him I was in on his secret, he'd stop, maybe drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness. I wouldn't have gave it to him of course, but I never got my chance at any of that.
To be honest, discovering that my husband was cheating on me didn't come as that much as a surprise. Things had been strained for quite some time now, even more so after Jasmine was born. He was beyond angry that he wasn't there when she was born. Try as I may, he just didn't seem to understand that babies come when they're ready, not whenever their parents felt it was a good time. I told Ben not to go in the first place and yet, he went. It wasn't my fault.
Though I had suspected it, it still didn't make it any easier when it was finally confirmed that he was cheating. Again, it didn't bother me as much as it should have. After all, I was his wife. He was supposed to love and be devoted to me and our daughter, not some another woman. However, my husband's adulterous ways somehow took a backseat to everything else going on.
Still, I called him out on it. I told him that even though I had suspected it, now that I knew for sure I was going to leave him. Not only that, I was going to take Jasmine with me.
"Don't be foolish Audrey," he said "you'll never leave me, you can't leave me."
"Yes, yes I can Ben. You clearly don't love me anymore and I'm not going to stand here and watch you destroy our family."
That didn't please him at all. Moving in a blink of an eye, his hand came in contact with my face, a loud buzzing sound ringing in my ears when I looked back at him. I didn't cry, just blinked a few times.
"You're a selfish woman, Audrey. I gave you everything and you have the audacity to tell me that you're leaving me! Who the hell do you think you are?" When I opened my mouth to protest, he struck me again. I didn't say another word. "You will stay here because you need me and you know it."
He left the room, grabbing his keys and going outside, muttering something about being back later.
He's right. I do need him, as much as I hate to admit that. Even with my job, there's no way I'd be able to pay for everything and give Jasmine a good life. My little girl had nothing to do with this and it seemed unfair that she would have to suffer from the stupidity of her father and the weakness of her mother.
I spent hours in the kitchen, holding the phone in my hand the entire time. I didn't know who'd I call. Ben knew all my friends here in the city, it'd be the first place he looked. All my credit cards were under his bank account so he'd be able to track me down that way. There really was only one option that made sense. It was the only logical choice and yet, I couldn't bring myself to dial the familiar number.
Why, I wasn't too sure. I mean, Jasper had always been there for me and he'd no doubt be there for me now. Thing was, I had already caused him and his family so much strife, I wasn't sure what this would do to them. Especially when they were to find out about the…well, never mind that.
Though I should've known, I was still a bit surprised when Jasper knocked on my back door in the middle of the night. I let him in quickly and he blurted what I already knew. His face registered shock for a good five seconds before something else grabbed his attention. How could it not? It was a large bruise, already covering my most of the right side of my face. Up until the moment he touched my cheek, I had been strong, thought I could make it through this. Though the second his cold hand met my overheated skin, I lost it completely. It was then that I realized the severity of my situation. I was stuck, unable to break free from this horrible situation I had gotten myself into. I cried, my frustration pouring out with each tear. It was then that Jasper snapped at me, claiming I had forgotten about the promise he had made to me when Jasmine was born.
He told me to leave with him, right then and there. Even though it was the answer to my unspoken prayers, I still found myself hesitant. It was then that he spoke with me, with such authority that it finally made something snap in my head. Every moment I stayed here, put my daughter in danger. I knew with Jasper, she would be safe and that's what mattered most.
The decision to leave with him was more so for my daughter than it was for me. Jasper gave me explicit instructions to take everything I needed because I was never stepping foot back in that house again. Good, I didn't want to spend another a minute in this place. I packed everything in one suitcase. I felt behind most of my clothes, grabbing only the most important things. Things like my medical folder and things of Jasmine's that I had saved since she was born. I wanted nothing that Ben had bought me, I wanted to forget all about him the moment I stepped out of here.
We went to the airport, Jasper saying to follow his lead. He told them I was his sister and that my life was in danger. The woman working, no older than myself was completely hooked on what Jasper told her and let us go through without much of a hassle.
Sitting on that plane, flying from San Francisco to Washington, I was completely terrified. I was so scared that Ben was going got pop out of nowhere and try and hurt me or worse, hurt Jasmine. Though Jasper kept reassuring me that everything was going to be okay, the fear was present the entire time. In a public place, Jasper had seem normal and human so if Ben were to show up, there'd be no way Jasper could I don't know, kill him without getting into some kind of trouble.
Arriving at the Cullen home, I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if they'd welcome me with open arms or be upset with Jasper for bringing me into their home. They had always been nice to me, treating me nicely, but this was a whole different game now.
Stepping inside, I was immediately enveloped in a cold, tight embrace. I thought it was Esme, maybe even Carlisle, but when I pulled away I was more than shocked to see Rosalie standing there, her golden eyes ablaze with intensity and anger.
"If that man ever steps one foot near you, I will personally kill him." Her eyes were hard, her tone malicious, but there was something about Jasper's sister that me love her even more when she said that. Something inside me told me that I could trust Rosalie, especially with my baby. A fact that I stored away for later, when and if. So much so, that left Jasmine with her, my body suddenly becoming exhausted with each passing second. Jasper picked up on it and took me upstairs, to a bedroom that I'm sure will soon become my own.
Laying in the bed, Jasper beside me, I let every emotion run free wanting nothing more to rid myself of all this pain and anger. Easier said than done though. He tried hard to make me feel better, but it was to no avail.
"Audrey, listen to me. People make mistakes. People lie and deceive. They get together and they separate. They fall in and out of love. We have no guarantee that we have today will be with is tomorrow."
Oh, god. The more Jasper talked, trying to make me feel better, it was only making me feel worse. So overcome with both guilt, anger and confusion, I fell into a deep sleep. Though I'm happy to be away from Ben, I cannot shake the feeling that things are going to get much worse before they get better.
I love Jasper and always will, but there's something I need to tell him and I'm not sure when the best time to tell him will be. Though he's not saying it, I know he's thrilled to have me here. I don't know what's going to happen now between the two us, but whatever it is and before it can go any further, I know that I'm going to have to tell him before it's too late. It's only fair to him.
~June 8th, 2011
Waking up this morning, I felt a bit more calm and relaxed than I had been in a long time. However, the calm didn't last for long when I realized where I was and why I was there. Looking around, I panicked for a few minutes when I saw neither Jasmine nor Jasper in the room with me. Taking deep breaths, I told myself that my baby was probably with Rosalie or Esme so she was safe and Jasper was…well, I had no idea.
I wanted to have a while to think to myself, but that didn't happen. I had been awake for only ten minutes when Jasper cam waltzing back in, a peculiar look on his face. I had a feeling where he this conversation was going to before he even started talking.
When he said that Alice was letting him go, I was momentarily stunned. This woman loved Jasper more than anything, he was her world and yet, she was just letting him go. She told Jasper she wanted him, wanted us to be happy, but I knew the real reason. She may not have said anything yet to me, but I know she knows. It would be the only logical explanation as to why she would give up so quickly. Decades together and now, they simply won't be?
Still, when Jasper asked me if I truly wanted to be with him, I couldn't lie. Of course I wanted to be with him, it's what I had always wanted since I was a teenager. I told him that I didn't know if I could just jump into a relationship with him so quickly though. Which, that's partially true. I'm still reeling over what happened with Ben, even though I had seen it coming for quite some time now. There's another reason though and that reason is because I'm a coward. I'm weak, unable to tell the man I love something so utterly important. I've already put Jasper through so much, I just know if I can tell him yet.
Then to top it all off, he kissed me. And dear god it wasn't just any kiss, not like the ones he had given me before. He was kissing me for what felt like the first time. Kissing me as if I was the only woman in his life now. Without worrying about Alice being upset, he felt he was free to be with me.
After having my mind jumbled for a good ten minutes, I attempted to go and find my baby, wanting nothing more than to hold her, but Jasper told me that she was in good hands with his mother and sister and I trusted him on that. He told me to take a shower before coming out to join everyone, and to just relax.
Even before it registered in my mind, I asked him if this, him and I being together, meant that the fantasy world we had created together was over now. He laughed, taking my hands and with that Southern accent of his, assured me that this was all reality now.
Reality. The very word shattered my heart more than it already was. He sense my sadness no doubt, but he blamed it on the whole cheating husband thing, but it was so much more than that.
Watching him walk out the room, a lump rose in my throat and I blinked back tears.
This didn't feel like a reality to me. It still felt surreal because if this was supposed to be perfect, I wouldn't be hiding this secret from Jasper.
If things were going to get better, I wouldn't have to tell him that I was sick.
I wouldn't have to tell him that I was dying.
I honestly don't know if I can tell him, it'd only shatter him.
Fantasy, reality…it all still seems the same to me now. I'm not sure how to go about all this. My only hope is that I can tell him before things get worse.
I really like the way this came about. Giving insight to what Audrey was thinking and what she knew during those hard times....hopefully gives you guys a better glimpse to her as a character.
Yes, she knew she was sick. Yes, she was terrified of telling Jasper, but she was also on the verge of telling him.
The next set from her POV will be the end the story..and then this will be marked as complete.