A/N: Alright! Cue the fat lady, count your chickens, check the oven, because this baby is done! I want to thank all of my readers who stuck with this from the beginning, seriously what's wrong with you? I feel like I should send you money, I mean I don't have any, but after all the torture I put you through, I feel like you guys deserve to be compensated, monetarily and/or otherwise. Thank you guys so much, I heart you… Oh there you can have my love. It's free! :) Anyway enough praising you, let's get this show on the road… Please be forewarned, this chapter is a little, ok A LOT, self indulgent… it's supposed to be bad! :)
Chapter 28 "The Sweetest Thing" U2
"Spencer, we need to talk…"
Spencer looked up from the infinite music catalog on Ashley's laptop, only to be shocked at the sight before her.
Was she dreaming?
No, this was definitely not a dream. This was more like a nightmare.
Was this a nightmare?
It had to be. How else could she explain both Aiden and Patrick standing in her parent's living room looking like mod squad rejects, towering over her, attempting their hand at broody intimidation.
"What are you guys doing here?" Spencer asked quite civilly. She didn't recall sending either of them an invitation to her forthcoming festivities. "…and together?" It was a legitimate question; those two never really got along. In fact, Aiden was the only person Patrick was ACTUALLY superior to in intellect, which wasn't saying much, but they really didn't have anything in common. Although, it wouldn't have surprised Spencer if Aiden had hooked up with Patrick to prove some kind of weird twisted point.
Boys. Go figure.
The blonde was too stressed with graduation shindig preparations and music playlist selections to even consider the idea further though. She was now suddenly bombarded with the horror that she might've accidentally e-vited them and now there wasn't enough humus and guacamole dip to go around. Her party would be a complete and utter disaster. Everyone knows not enough guacamole dip and humus almost always means fiesta failure.
"Patrick and I-" Aiden began but was quickly interrupted.
"Holy ManBitch Batman!" Sally cried as she strolled into the room with a brightly colored balloon between her teeth. She had been assigned to balloon blowing duty, since she was undoubtedly the best at blowing things."…Spence, I thought you pushed your *Nsync fan club meeting to next week?" Sally hated Patrick, and by default Aiden too. "Nice shirt kid… Where'd you get it? …A Nick Lachey yard sale?" Of course she had to comment on Aiden's shirt. Poor Aiden, he didn't even know Sally.
"Abercrombie and Fitch." Aiden corrected and Sally snickered. That boy was so clueless.
"Oh my bad… I didn't know they had a douche bag section-"
"Sally!" Spencer hissed as she quickly made a mental note to make nicer friends.
"Go to hell Sally…" Patrick suddenly interposed; apparently the contempt was mutual. It might've been all those Spashley pictures she e-mailed him… or that giant Spashley cardboard cutout she Fed-Ex'd him. It was a pricey gag, but the amount of joy it brought her was priceless.
"Patrick!" Spencer stood up from her subservient position on the couch, taking command of the escalating situation. She stood as a wall between the Tweedle twins and her roommate with the penchant for trouble.
"Wow! Chaz over here finally grew a pair… impressive… Too bad your girl here is no longer into that… "
"That's enough Sally!" Spencer glared and Sally retreated. There was no need to be so mean and hurtful at this point and junction.
"Wow Sally, when'd you become Spencer's bitch?" Patrick must've felt safe behind Spencer's iron fist command though.
"When she dumped your ass and YOU left the spot open… I don't mind being her bitch though, I'll still fuck your shit up…" Spencer's bitch or not Sally was still a bad ass. She had the tattoos to prove it.
"Bring it on… Amy Winehouse…" Patrick instigated over Spencer's shoulder.
"Suck my dick Screech!" Sally countered.
"Enough!" Spencer finally put a stop to the madness. "What the hell are you doing here? …Besides pissing me off?" The blonde glowered at Patrick. Who was Spencer's bitch now?
"I came to win you back"-Patrick said slapdash-"… we both did…" He pointed at Aiden behind him.
"What?!" Spencer was actually shocked. This couldn't possibly be happening, not now. Not while Ashley was thousands of miles away. Not when she had to finish preparing for her graduation speech in the morning and her party in the afternoon. Not when she had family members flying in from Ohio, due to arrive any minute. And especially not now when she might not have enough guacamole/hummus dip to go around. Nope, this was definitely not the time for this to be happening.
"Look… Aiden and I have been thinking…" Patrick continued despite the horrified expression on Spencer's face.
"Well that's a fucking first!" Sally scoffed.
"Mind your own business…" The Bostonian was running out of patience for the impudent brunette.
"This is my business dick face. Ashley paid me lots of money to watch over this one… plus I get paid extra if I make you cry…"
"What?" Spencer was incredulous, this was the first she'd heard of this agreement. Yet she didn't doubt it.
"I'm kidding… well the crying part… that's just for my pleasure" Sally shrugged casually, as if her obsession with making Patrick weep was normal.
"...Patrick and I were talking"-Aiden continued unhesitant, ignoring all the pointless banter and the peculiar tear fixation-"and we get what you're doing… you're punishing us…"
"What?" Oh this was getting good. Or stupid. Spencer wasn't sure, nobody was.
"Yeah. We get it, we haven't been around" -Patrick added- "I've been busy with school so far away and Aiden's been busy with … modeling?"-He looked over at Aiden questioningly and Aiden nodded proudly-"… we've sort of neglected you girls… So you and Ashley are doing this to punish us. To make us take notice."-Spencer's eyes widened and her jaw dropped-"Don't worry we noticed. And we're here to fight for you, because we know that's what you want…"
"Ay dios mio! I can't believe I slept with this idiot…" Madison declared dubiously as she walked into the living room with Kyla and a bag full of decorations following closely behind.
"Are you guys seriously doing this? And YOU Aiden? You should be ashamed of yourself…" Kyla scolded the amateur model who hid sheepishly behind Patrick.
"Look, I'm sorry Patrick…" –Spencer apologized sincerely as she swiveled her neck behind him to find the other culprit-"Aiden… I really am… but this isn't about you, this is about being happy… and being with Ashley makes me happy…"-she declared wistfully-"… and I know it's selfish but I-"
"No! I can't accept that!"-Patrick raised his voice desperately hindering his ex's confession-"You're supposed to be mine, we're supposed to get married… you're supposed to be Mrs. Patrick Stewart!" Patrick cried frantically quickly losing grip of his composure.
"Wait? You dated Patrick Stewart?" Katie Couric asked, interrupting Spencer's recant
"Yeah." Spencer admitted meekly, it wasn't one of her finer points in life.
"Not the Star Trek guy though." Ashley corrected, as if that were even possible.
"No of course, the recently convicted embezzler." Katie clarified.
"That's him." Spencer still not thrilled about her choice in short term male companion. Fortunately everyone knew it was just a phase and luckily grew out of it quickly.
"Wow" Katie was trying to stay a neutral reporter, but it was hard. Patrick was a douche and the whole world knew it. Only a douche would steal from a Children's hospital.
"We all think it was Spencer here who pushed him over the edge…" Ashley nudged the blonde teasingly.
"Right. Moving on"-Spencer was trying to avoid the sore subject at all costs-"… where was I? …oh right… blah blah blah 'I can't accept that…you're supposed to be Mrs. Patrick Stewart!'"
"Well accept it! Because I am deeply, madly, butt crazy in love with Ashley and there's nothing or no one that can change that…" Spencer exultantly professed to the room full of people.
"Aww baby! …I love you too." Ashley cooed from the doorframe she was casually leaning on.
"Aaaaash!"-Spencer squeaked before hastily skipping to the brunette-"What are you doing here?" She jumped into the brunette's arms kissing her wildly. The pop star wasn't supposed to get there for another week, and yet there she was in all her glory, looking as gorgeous as ever, practicing the ancient art of 'perfect timing'.
"You didn't."-Ashley started to explain but was interrupted by Spencer's exuberant lips- "think."-The blonde swiftly kissed her again- "that I'd miss my… Mmm"-Ashley moaned enjoying Spencer's refined technique-"GIRLFRIEND'S…"- They eagerly became engrossed in a deep passionate kiss that lasted at least 5 minutes; something about that girlfriend title really getting them worked up. They would've kept at it, had it not been for Sally's fake loud cough "...College graduation? Hey guys" Ashley waved keeping her gaze on the beautiful girl in front of her. Her eyes refusing to look anywhere else.
"Hey…" Everyone, but the uncomfortable boys in the living room, swooned at the sweet display of affection before them.
"I can't believe you're actually here…" Spencer gleefully gushed, not actually letting go of her girlfriend's rosy cheeks.
"Well I couldn't let you pick out the music playlist on your own… your poor guests would be stuck listening to the Spice Girls all night…" Ashley winked mischievously.
"Shut up!"-Spencer playfully swatted at Ashley's arm and the brunette wasted no time in pulling her into another mesmerizing kiss-"I missed you…" The blonde sighed into the brunette's lips.
"I missed you too…" Ashley softly breathed back.
"Really!? Because had you not just said that, we never would've known! …" Sally mockingly remarked. Loudly. She was hoping the oblivious girls would finally acknowledge the room full of people, or the very least resolve the pressing 'idiotic boy' problem. She was really hoping to make Patrick cry, but that couldn't happen if Spencer and Ashley neglected him. Or could it?
"God I forgot how fucking breathtakingly beautiful you were..." Ashley whispered, her eyes roaming the blonde's gorgeous features. Absorbing all the magnificence that was Spencer Carlin while forsaking everything else. Completely ignoring the rest of the world.
"I NEVER forgot how beautiful you were..." Spencer pouted.
"Yeah well… I think it's a defense mechanism. My brain needs to desaturate your beauty otherwise I'd go all psycho crazy stalker on you..." Ashley reasoned; she had seriously put some thought in to it. That was the only explanation for her mind's inadequacies and low-resolution memories.
"Awwww you say the sweetest things to me..." She wrapped her arms around Ashley's waist and herself in another fervent kiss. Seriously get a room. Motel 6 will leave the light on and everything.
"Oooh I believe the word you are looking for is 'MODDED'!" Sally declared to the two disappointed boys. "Damn it's like you got dumped all over again!" She continued to mock; she was really working hard for those tears.
"Shut it… Trampsilla…" Patrick defended.
"Seriously? …That's the best you can do dip-shit? … My two-year old niece can come up with better shit than that!" Sally responded churlish.
"You're a low rent whore, I'd prefer not to waste my breath on you…"
"Yet here you are… wasting your breath…"
"Fuck you!" Patrick was getting feisty. Maybe Sally had actually gotten to him.
The sudden commotion finally disengaged the two girls from their loving reverie.
"Speaking of crazy psycho stalkers..."-Ashley finally acknowledging the scene beside her and the two indistinguishable males in her presence-"…What is this… a 98 degrees reunion special?"
The amount of fury that lodged itself in her tiny frame was just enough to take the attention away from her captivating blonde.
"Good one, I said *Nsync" Sally complemented. It was creepy how alike those two sometimes were.
"Nice… But 98 degrees weren't as pretty as *Nsync…" Ashley pointed out.
"Ahh yes, but the beauty that was Justin was trumped by the beast that was Chris…" Sally asserted.
"Good point…" Ashley conceded.
"O-kay… Are you done with the boy band talk or should I come back later?" Spencer teased, slightly concerned with the depth of their knowledge of popular male groups from the late 90's.
"Not just yet baby, hold on…"-Kissing Spencer reassuringly then turning to Patrick and Aiden-" I'm sorry did you not get the memo? Did you not know that Spencer is MY girlfriend?"
"I got the memo" Patrick not really grasping the concept of a rhetorical question.
"Yeah I sent it to him" Sally internally laughing, remembering the cardboard cutout.
"So what are you doing in MY girlfriend's house? Standing in my girlfriend's living room breathing my girlfriend's air?" Ashley was extremely frustrated at the situation.
"Ash." Spencer protested lamely, she was quite amused.
"I over did it with the 'girlfriend air' didn't I?"
"Just a little."
"Sorry. I like saying it." Ashley admitted sheepishly to her girlfriend.
"I like it when you say it." Spencer gushed and suddenly Ashley's full attention was back on her alluring blue eyes.
"Damn this must be just so painful… Can you explain your emotions to me? Please don't spare me any of the agonizing details… " Sally salivated at the potential for pain.
"Shut up!" Aiden finally affected by all of the affection and devotion, none of course directed towards him.
"No it's ok, I'm a professional… I'm a future Kinesiologist…" Sally reassured.
"You guys are kidding right? I mean there's no way that you're serious… You guys can't possibly think that this will ever work?" Patrick snapped; he just wasn't a Spashley believer.
"Oh Patrick" Sally chuckled at his frail innocence while smacking him over the head with her balloon.
"I'll show you how serious I am!" Ashley disputed before she got down on one knee in front of Spencer. In front of everyone.
They all gasped, even Aiden, his pecks nervously flexing at the sight.
"Oh my god!" Kyla squealed
"Shit!" Sally freaked.
"Ay Caramba!" Madison chirped.
"What's all the commotion"-Glen asked, barging in on the unusual moment-"Oh god no! Please no, not again?" The oldest of the Carlin offspring ran out of the room just as quickly as he walked in.
"Sorry guys he's still a little traumatized from the last time he saw someone on their knees…"-Chelsea explained with a grin-"Wait? What's going on?" the oldest brunette was puzzled, the bizarre scene, taking place before her eyes, hardly resembled the casual one she'd left ten minutes before.
What was going on?
Was Ashley really going to do what they all thought she was going to do?
Was Patrick really about to cry?
Was Aiden actually nervously flexing his pecks?
And …had Sally really blown up all those balloons?
"You proposed?" Katie Couric asked Ashley
"No… what would give you that impression?" Ashley was perplexed by Katie's conclusion.
"Well baby, you did get on one knee…" Spencer clarified.
"Yeah I know, but we had only been together for like 6 months, that would've been like too soon and… weird… " Ashley defended.
"And we were 22… we were still too young." Spencer added.
"Do you think you're too young now?" Katie pressed, suddenly interested in the girl's marital stance, especially since it finally was legal and all.
"Well no…" Spencer admitted
"So what are you waiting for?" Katie prompted.
"Way to put the pressure on Katie…" Ashley nervously joked. It's not like she hadn't thought about marrying the blonde, she just couldn't decide which would be the best way to ask: a sky written proposal or a thousand-person orchestra serenade. It was a though choice and she'd been mulling it over for months. She had previously settled on a Jumbo-tron proposal during an L.A Sparks game but both Sally and Kyla vehemently opposed it. Plus Glen had stolen her idea and asked Chelsea that way, just weeks before.
Apparently how you asked was a huge deal and Kyla and Sally were no help in that department, they just shot down her ideas yet didn't help her with new ones. Something about it having to come from her heart or whatever.
"Sorry… Ok, well when you do get married whose name would you take? Would you be Ashley Carlin"-pointing at Ashley-"or would you be Spencer Davies?"-Pointing at Spencer.
"I was thinking more of like a hybrid of both our names, like 'Darlin… We'd be 'The Darlin's'..." Ashley revealed adding pizzazz to the name for emphasis. She'd obviously given her future surname some thought, which Spencer undoubtedly noticed.
"How appropriate…" Katie grinned; she actually found the name quite adorable.
"Yeah people would be like 'oh we're having high tea with the Darlin's today…" Ashley pretended with a terrible English accent.
"Honey we don't have high tea…" Spencer giggled.
"Yeah but when we get married, we probably would, because that's one of the things married couples do, and The Darlin's would definitely have high tea…" Ashley assured her confidently.
"That's very true" Katie amused Ashley.
"I was actually thinking that maybe I could be Spencer Davies…" Spencer added unexpectedly.
"REALLY?" Ashley asked astounded.
"Well yeah, I mean you're the last Davies, so I thought you'd want to keep your father's name… plus… I've always wanted to be Spencer Davies…" Spencer admitted bashfully.
"Baby…" Ashley was absolutely touched by the sweet gesture.
"What?" Spencer asked self-consciously
"Nothing, I love you."
"I love you." Spencer blushed.
Neither could hold back their desire to cement their statements with a tender kiss. A sweet tender moment caught on camera. Even the technical director blushed.
"Eeeww ok gross… anyway the movie starts in half an hour so we're gonna go now" Katie got up from her spot on the loveseat. "C'mon Jesse let's go."
"It was nice to meet you… Mrs. Davies… Mrs. Daviesss?… uuuhhh, both of you"
"Please Jesse, call me Ashley" Jesse smiled like he died and went to heaven.
He looked towards the blonde for a second approval, "You can still call me Mrs. Davies" Spencer smiled.
"Yeah ok, we're gonna be late. Lets go." Katie hurriedly walked over to her moms, who were comfortably snuggled up together in the big couch and gave them both a kiss goodbye. "See you later."
"What's the big rush? I heard it's a terrible remake anyway. Just stay home and watch the original here." Ashley insisted; she was a little terrified about having her little girl go off on her first big date.
"Mooooom! ...No offense but no one wants to watch old movies from the 90's." Ashley's bubble was burst and although she was the adult she secretly pouted on the inside.
"Curfew" Spencer reminded her eldest daughter.
"Yup. Love you"
"Love you… Bye Jesse" Spencer said warmly to the boy escorting her daughter.
Once the two sixteen-year-old lovebirds were outside the door Ashley was free to pout openly.
"The sixth sense is not old! …"
"I know baby… but kids these days think anything that's been around longer than five years is pre historic…"
"Are you saying I'm old? … I'm NOT old!"
"No baby you're not, you're by far the hottest mom I know." Spencer always knew how to make her wife feel better.
"Good… because you're the hottest mom I know… so it's only fair." Ashley leaned in to Spencer for a quick kiss, which rapidly transcended into something more delicious.
"Ewww! You guys are always kissing." Kevin interrupted, as usual.
"That's because we love each other honey." Spencer explained.
"Yuck. Kissing is gross." Kevin made a disgusted face.
"Yup. Super duper gross. You'll see how much you'll hate it when you get older." Ashley reasoned with her nine-year-old son.
"Can I go over to Jake's house?" Kevin pleaded.
"Honey we're almost done watching the story of how mommy and I fell in love, can't you wait?" Spencer asked kind of disappointed.
"…but Katie got to leave…" Kevin could see how his need to leave the house was breaking his mother's hearts so he reconsidered. "fine… but can I go over to Jake's after and watch the Sixth Sense?"
"Yes! Please watch the original… I mean c'mon who remakes a movie like that anyway?! It's a classic, plus hello, everyone knows he was dead like the whole time!" Ashley started up her rant again.
"Actually honey, I don't think I feel comfortable with you watching that movie. I remember it being quite gory." Spencer reconsidered switching to concerned mom mode.
"Spence I think he can handle a little puke and a couple of ghosts." Ashley defended.
"I don't know honey. Maybe you guys should stick to a nice Disney movie." Spencer suggested.
"Speeeence!" Her child and her wife whined at exactly the same time with nearly the exact same pitch.
"Fine. Gang up on me why don't you… You can go AFTER we're done watching Extra COURIC-ular" Spencer conceded.
"Yeees!" Both brunette's chirped with joy.
"Why are you so excited?" Spencer asked Ashley suspiciously.
"No reason" Ashley grinned. She was so transparent. Like Spencer didn't know 'alone time' was Ashley's favorite kind of time.
"I can't believe our daughter is out with someone that could potentially be just like you" Spencer pointed out.
"Please tell me you're kidding?"-Spencer nodded bursting Ashley's bubble -"Oh my god, she's not allowed to leave this house ever again!" Ashley panicked, the thought of her daughter dating was nerve racking in itself, but the thought of Katie dating someone like her former teenage self was just frightening.
"Baby relax… He seemed like a nice boy, I'm sure he's nothing like you… were" Spencer soothed her lover's rational fear.
"Katie your moms are so hot" Jesse confessed as they walked the long cobble stone path to his car.
"Yeah sure, you think that now, but if you get me home late and my mom decks you-you wont think she's hot"
"Oh I hope she does" Jesse winked at the oldest Davies.
"Ewww" Katie pushed Jesse away from her.
"Don't worry Katie. You're still way hotter!"
"Damn right I am" There was no doubt that Katie had definitely picked up her mother's self-assurance. Even if she was adopted.
"We'll see… as long as he gets her home in time and I don't have to deck him." Ashley reasoned.
"Can we please finish watching this already?" Kevin insisted. Who could blame him? No matter how hot everyone thought hot his moms were, HE would rather be hanging out at his friend's house.
"Sorry buddy… Yeah ok, let's see how this baby ends!" Ashley grabbed the remote enthusiastically and pressed play.
"Oh like you don't know..." Spencer playfully rolled her eyes
"So… I can't help it if I love the ending… "
"Ok so if you didn't ask her to marry you… why'd you get on one knee?" Katie Couric pressed, desperate to get to the bottom of things.
"Oh… well…" Ashley began.
"Spencer, you know I've never been sure about anything in my life… Hell I wasn't even sure those guys would get off the island even though you said they would… and you were right… you're always right… because you're the love of my life and the only thing that I've ever been sure of… like the love I have for you… Which is a lot, considering my size to love ratio… And I'm sure that these past six months without you have been the worst six months of my life. I never want to be without you ever again… I want to go to bed with you, and wake up next to you, and and take showers with you and brush your hair… and fight with you and make up with you and.. Ugh! … will you move in with me?"
"Yes!!" Spencer cried, she was surprisingly aware of where Ashley's rant was going.
"Are you sure?" Ashley got up, not believing how easy that had been.
"As sure as I am that you love me." Spencer kissed the doubt out of Ashley's mind. It must've been some kiss because Patrick and Aiden both exited the Carlin home shortly after, never to be seen or allowed back in again. Everyone else in the room went to congratulate Spashley and their bold next move in their relationship.
"Fuck. Now I'm out a roommate…" Sally pouted.
"I'll move in with you…" Kyla offered randomly.
"You? ... Don't you live in New York? … And aren't you like crazy rich? …Can't you afford like a small village in Cambodia with like workers and cattle and stuff? …What the hell do you want a roommate for?" Sally was reasonably wary.
"I'm so over New York and I want to move back… and in spite of what you just said… I kind of like you… plus I figure since I'm losing my sister and you a best friend… we should stick together" Kyla rationalized, it made sense to the other brunette too.
"Ok, but don't expect me to braid your hair and shit at night…"
"Don't worry, hair braiding will be strictly prohibited in OUR apartment."
"…Well I wouldn't prohibit it completely, what if I get lonely?" Sally teased.
"We'll work out the deets later…" Kyla winked. Were they flirting?
"Fine but using the abbreviation 'deets' is definitely prohibited from OUR apartment" Probably not.
"Ahhh!!! I'm so happy!!" Spencer squealed from the other side of the room.
"That's nothing wait till you see your brand new zero to sixty in two point five seconds flat… I mean present…" Ashley covered her mouth, she was too excited to filter anything at this point. Luckily Spencer was too busy literally jumping for joy that she missed the early confession.
"She bought her a Porsche!?" Sally questioned Kyla. The brunette had definitely heard that. Her ears were specially manufactured for those kinds of things.
"Nooo way!!…"-Kyla looked at Sally like she'd grown a second head- "She bought her a Lexus… Ashley thinks Spencer might have a speeding problem… so she's starting her off slow." She explained, like what she said made any sense.
"Fuck! I need to start banging a millionaire…"-Sally mused, the perks were apparently pretty good-"What are you doing later tonight?" Sally winked at Kyla. Ok so maybe there was some flirting going on. Sally was curious by nature and no one could deny that Kyla was pretty hot.
"You're stupid…" Hot Kyla rolled her eyes.
"Seriously! I'll go down on you for a Porsche… Hell I'll fuck you for Hyundai… a Kia even…" Sally insisted. This was definitely the start of a beautiful friendship.
"Ok let's go get your gift…" Ashley said excitedly to the blushing blonde.
"No. First, let's go tell my mom we're moving in together!" Spencer urged enthusiastically.
"Your mom?… Paula?" Ashley squeaked. Did Spencer really want her to go talk to the same woman who was in therapy essentially because of her? To tell her they were moving in? Together?
"Yes… Oh and Nana too! She's dying to meet you!" Spencer's eyes widened with joy.
"Nana?" Ashley now turning kind of blue, the thought alone of trying to satisfy three Carlin women was making her break out in hives. Yet she'd made the decision a long time ago:She loved Spencer and she'd do anything to be with her. Even face a certain kind of painful death.
With a deep breath and a pounding heart Ashley bravely followed Spencer in to the homey kitchen that revealed her ominous fate.