I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared.
But no would listen, 'cause no one else cared…
The Lyrics to Linkin Park blocked out all other thoughts as I laid awkwardly on my small bed.
After my dreaming, I woke with this fear…
What am I leaving, when I'm done here?
I had turned my MP3 player up to full volume when I got back to my room; Dad was beating mom again. I'd rushed to my room, silently in my effort to remain unnoticed. I didn't want to hear her pleas and cries of pain, I'd known them all too well.
My father, Jacob Black, was a strong man, very strong. I'd always wondered why he seemed to be so strong and filled up a room. Grampa Billy surely wasn't that big.
I focused back onto the lyrics of the song; now was definitely not a time to cry. Dad was in a bad mood, I didn't want to give him any reason to hurt me, and I know how much it hurts mom when I'm hurt.
When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some, reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest…
I was drifting off into a merciful sleep when I heard big clomping footsteps. Here comes Bigfoot! I thought to myself humorlessly; I knew what was coming. I heard the door, slam open and it smash into the wall behind it; I heard mom's stifled cries and tears in the other room. She didn't stifle them very well. I kept my eyes shut; I didn't want to look into the eyes of the man that brutally hurt my mother without any regard for how it would feel to her or how it would affect me.
He wasn't my father; I was ashamed to be related to him. I wanted to run away and never come back, I'd considered it before. But at the last minute the thing that kept me here was the only person that ever loved me unconditionally no matter what I did. Mom. I loved her more than anything in the world; She was my sunshine in this cloud covered sky I call my life. Unfortunately when it came to dad, she and I were powerless. She loved him too much to leave him, or as she said it. I knew what it really was, it wasn't she loved him too much, not at all. She was afraid of him; I knew it by the way her lips were set when she spoke of him. Her words were loving but the meaning and facial expressions behind them were ones of fear and hate. It wasn't that hard to figure out; my mom was an open book.
I felt my body being pulled down by gravity as my dad plopped down on my bed next to me; he waited for me to address him. I ignored him. He waited, and waited, and waited; I didn't budge. I heard him grunt in frustration.
"Lizzy, why don't you talk to me? I'm your daddy, you love me" note how he didn't say he loved me. "Come on" The false innocent tone in his voice was sickening; he should stop trying to sugar coat it, no matter what I said, I would get beaten for it. So I didn't; I was going to get it anyway. Might as well get it for saying nothing at all. He grunted again.
"Lizzy, if you don't say something right now, I swear to you, you'll get it." I was getting it anyway.
"Ok, how about this? GET OUT-" I felt his big hand connect with my cheek; the force sent my head in the other direction, cause me to strain my neck. The pain shot up my neck and down my back; I tumbled onto the floor and lay still trying to recover from the blow. Please don't let me have whiplash again!
I closed my eyes and grew still on the wood planked floor; I wasn't going to move. He was going to have move me. And as promised he picked me up by my hair and held my face so it was at his level; the pressure of my weight, sent pain through my head, my hair pulled so hard I could feel little strands come out with every jerk. My legs dangled helplessly, I shut my eyes, refusing to stare into his cold, black eyes.
I resisted the urge to cry and beg for him to stop pulling my hair, but I knew it would do no good.
My willpower warred with my pride as the physical abuse continued all night long…