Well, ya'll liked the last chapter, so I thought, hey, why not do another one?

You know, for 'kicks'.

So, I've gone and made what started out as an at least slightly serious story, and turned it into a random romp of horror the likes of which Lovecraft himself could not conjure. Part of me likes it this way.

But still, to keep with the overall theme of insanity and violence this story has, it wouldn't mesh overall to just make it a long as jibber-jabber of a tale that ultimately ends up with Naruto sexing everything in the world with fire.

On the plus side, while I may not be the first person to include video games in a Naruto fancition, I may be the first one to have a character a possible avid gamer, and will continue to keep you updated as I slowly turn Hinata into my own nefarious incarnation of herself (With a possible increase in hadouken's).

Also, Haku gets a makeover. It will be STYLISH.

So, take the first step and READ!

"...why the HELL am I awake?" The slow groaned escaped his lips like a sigh, Naruto's blonde hair framing his deeply sagging eyelids. In a change of pace he had slid his goggles around his neck, stooped over in apparrant exhaustion infront of the village gates.

"Can it Naruto." Sakura, although of equal posture, wouldn't stomach Naruto's declaration as to why they were up at five in the morning.

And Sasuke looked like he always did, completely unphased by the early hours. "I can't believe you guys are tired; you call yourself ninja?" He crossed his arms, turning away from them, eliciting a rather flustered look from Sakura.

Naruto however, chose a different way to respond. "I am the EMBER KING. The EMBER KING demands eight hours sleep. So screw you and your freakish ability to sleep for short amounts of time and then get up and do things. You're not a ninja, you're a FREAK!" The way his eyes suddenly turned red and slitted and his incisors punctuated his grimace like a snarling jackal didn't really help Naruto's argument.

Although it did make his teammates scurry away from him as though he was the black death itself.

Which was the precise moment Kakashi walked into the scene, supporting a rather haggared looking Tazuna. "I found Drunkey, we can leave. Holy crap Naruto, what the hell is wrong with your face?"

"There's nothing wrong with my face, it always looked like this." The rather perplexed way he looked at Kakashi made the man feel oddly worried, although he didn't show much of it. In a flash however, it had turned back to normal, allowing Sasuke and Sakura some breathing room.

"R-right. Well anyways, I have our precious package here, so we can get moving. You three are fully packed right?" They nodded, Sasuke and Sakura hefting up their napsacks while Naruto slung a large duffel bag over his shoulder.

"Good, I'm not sure how long this trip will take, so its important that we're packed for anything. Just in case, right Tazuna?" The odd way he punctuated the question wasn't lost to the man, but he only seemed to grunt incoherently in response. Passing his initial suspicion test, Kakashi gave the drunk a slight shove as they strode off.

"Okay, we should get going before he wanders off or-" A presence suddenly intruding on his thoughts, Kakashi turned his head towards a corner of the streets behind them, just as a pineapple styled haircut poked above a fence.

"Hey, not to late to see my ex-students off am I?" Umino Iruka laughed softly to himself. Walking up towards Kakashi as he turned, he gave a quick hello before meeting the gaze of the three pupils present.

"Man you guys look older. I remember when you were all beansprouts, just this high."

"Your not going to initiate a group hug or something are you? Because Naruto doesn't do the group hug."

"You couldn't pay me to touch him. Seriously." Sakura's fairly blank stare at Iruka made the man feel immensely uncomfortable.

"Uh, guys, Tazuna's wandered past the trees. We should probably, like, go after him or something." Sasuke spoke up.

He was promptly ignored.

Iruka laughed "No, no, this isn't the time for hugs. I just was in the area and heard about your mission, so I thought I'd just stop by and get a little nostalgic. Oh, and also have a word with your sensei." Kakashi's only eyebrow arched up, the man sending Iruka a quizzical look.

"You know, technically I outrank you; so I could just dismiss you now and leave right?"

"True, but I'm also the only guy Naruto has ever admitted has some leeway with, and thus can convince him to make your lives a living hell."

Kakashi turned a quizzical look at Naruto while Sakura blanched. "You can get worse?" She screeched.

"What can I say? The guy has pretty mad negotiation skills. Oh, and money for ramen. I gotta get my fix you know?" Naruto slid his goggles over his eyes, crossing his arms over his head. Kakashi turned back to Iruka before sighing loudly.

"Fine, but make it quick."

"Seriously, I can barely see Tazuna anymore. Oh, wait, he's throwing up by a ditch. That might buy us some time." Sasuke was ignored again.

A few minutes later, the four of them caught up with Tazuna, who sent them a hateful puffy-eyed stare. "You guys are the worst band of ninja I've ever seen." Was all he said. Kakashi responded with a simple eye smile. "The worst band of ninja you've ever seen SO FAR." Tazuna grumbled in response.

So, they walked; and they walked. They walked and walked and walked; and walked some more until-

"Dude, your not Dr. Suess, stop pretending you are!"


"Naruto, what the hell are you yelling at?" Sakura asked with some deep skepticism etched in her face.

"Hm? Oh, right, you guys can't hear him can you? Well, you know those voices that tell you to burn all your friends alive and make a house out of there charred remains?"


"Well it's not that voice, but hell if it's not as annoying as that one."

"One day Naruto, one day we'll get you the medication you need."

"Please, they don't have a dosage high enough." Scoffing over his shoulder, Naruto watched a puddle behind him, something that Kakashi noticed as well. Idly, the man wondered if Naruto would notice that it hadn't rained in serveral days, and why that was important.

To his disappointment however, the boy simply turned back towards the front of the road, disinterested. 'I have a lot to work on with these three, don't I?' Checking to make sure he was certain that Tazuna was only just within the line of fire, he relaxed his body.

The sound of shredded meat chunks filled the air as Sakura let loose a high pitched scream, a deafening clatter of chains accompanying this.

With a twist of their wrists, the two nearly identical shinobi brandished their gauntlets, their eyes framed between two pairs of spiked headbands and masks. In the centre of both of these headbands as the symbol of the mist, scratched out to symbolize their allegiance.

These men were wild dogs who fed on the misery of others. As one, they circled their remaining prey, cackling. "One down-" The first brother said.

"Three to go." The second brother finished.

As one, they leapt forwards in tandem, the chain in their wake becoming a massive snare to entrap both Naruto and Sasuke.

The roundhouse kick from Sasuke reminded the first brother just who he was dealing with. Spinning around in a flurry, the momentarily dazed ninja had a moment to blink before Sasuke's backhand sent him lurching to his knees. Finishing up with a kunai overhead, Sasuke grimaced as its edge broke against the older ninja's metal gauntlet.

Underneath his mask, the man smirked before lashing out with a kick. It was a flimsy kick, for a chuunin anyways, and Sasuke easily backflipped away. Despite this however, the only slightly fazed fighter rubbed his nose and took a stance. Sasuke was out of his face, which was what he'd wanted in the first place.

"Brat, I am going to enjoy taking you apart piece by piece." To emphasize this, the man flexed his hand threateningly, before suddenly yanking the chain around his arms. To his surprise however, it simply snagged hard, causing him to lurch. Taking full advantage of the fraction of a second the chuunin grimaced in surprise, Sasuke hurled a batch of shuriken.

'DAMN!' Narrowly flipping a switch on the arm guard, the seasoned ninja rolled to the side just as the shuriken impacted the ground. Kneeling low, the first brother glowered at the youth as he realized what had happened. Embedded in one of the chains many lengths was a kunai directly between the holes, effectively pinning it to the ground.

'This is no ordinary genin.' Opting to play the intimidation tactic again, the man straightened up and began to circle. "You really think you can beat me? My brother and I have taken apart ninja FAR stronger and more experienced then you are. What makes you think you even stand a chance?" Waiting for the boy to answer, the seconds ticked by, with each second the brother growing more and more impatient.

Finally, after shifting his shoulder just slightly, Sasuke locked eyes with the man.

"What brother?" His voice was a thin, emotionless edge. The question took the ninja back however, confused. "What the hells that supposed to..." Realization dawned on him. Without hesitation the man whirled around, only to stop dead, his blood running cold.

Naruto stood upright, head hung low as he watched the last embers of what was once a human being disapate into nothingness. Unmistakably, at the centre of the sooty mass sat a gauntlet of steel, now black and singed.

"I'm surprised you didn't hear the explosion. He sure as hell did." Sasuke said from behind him, his cold voice piercing through the already weaked framework of the Demon Ex-Brothers mind.

"He...he's dead."

"As a door-nail."

"Y-you killed hi-him."

"That's Naruto for you. What, you were expecting us to just sit back and let you murder us?" The man whirled around, his eyes wild with grief. "You! I'll kill you!" Flying at Sasuke like a madman, the boy remained cooly vigilante and unmoving.

"DIIIIIIIIIIIE!" With all his body, the chuunin swung his arm-

Before blissful unconciousness overtook him. With a heavy slump his body fell to the ground, unmoving. Overtop of him, stood a familiar, silver haired figure, absently flipping a page in his book. "You two...did okay, although in hindsight Sasuke, you could have wrapped that up a little more quickly."

"Your not dead. I really should stop assuming you die huh?" Naruto walked over from behind, looking bored. "You probably should, yeah." Sasuke snapped his book shut with a clap, before tucking it into his pouch.

Which was when Sakura finally broke down crying. "B-buh-buuuuuuuuuuuh! I-I thought you died, a-and then the-buh-buh-those scary guys and-guh-YOUR NOT DEAD!" All four men present watched this display with varying degrees of discomfort, none of them really in their element. "Sasuke...go...console her or something." Kakashi shooed him towards the girl as he picked up the prone body on the ground.

"Why do I have to suffer to make you happy?" He scowled, one eyebrow raised. "Wavers. That's why." Kakashi shrugged, looking over at Naruto thoughtfully as the boy turned back towards the pile of ash.

Over with Sakura and Tazuna, Sasuke begrudgingly walked towards the girl bawling her eyes out on the ground, not really sure how to approach the situation. 'Just remember what your therapist told you. When talking to people...be considerate.' Nodding to himself, Sasuke pushed a hand towards Sakura, offering to help her up.

"Sakura...uh, I'm terrible at this. Look; just...please stop crying. Your a ninja. People die in the field all the time. I thought you of all people would understand this." Rubbing teary, bloodshot eyes, the girl took the hand, lips still shaking.

"I...I know, it just...happened so fast and, then I thought Kakashi-sensei was dead and that you were next and..." She coughed, unable to finish the sentence. "Sakura...I'm strong. You of all people know that. I'm not good at these...emotional things, so, look. I'm going to tell you what my dad told me. You have to be strong, to protect the people you care about. Otherwise...they get hurt. If I can be strong for you...I need you to be strong for me. Also, you need to STOP. CRYING." Sniffing slightly, the girl managed a smile.

Before she promptly enveloped Sasuke in a hug, much to his horror. "Uh, your touching 'tEven-" Sakura simply ignored Sasuke, just smiling. 'Finally caught you.' Wrestling his way out of her grip, Sasuke gloused, walking off. Sakura's smile never left her face.

"Uh, if this keeps up I'm going to throw up." Which was precisely the moment Tazuna decided to speak. "Why is it that kids can't just speak up about how they feel and stop being stupid idiots?" Tazuna suddenly jumped however when a shadow crept up behind his shoulder.

"I don't know Tazuna, why do people waste my time with c-rank missions that are clearly not c-rank, especially when they know I can break their necks with my index finger and pinkie? I guess its one of lifes mysteries" Scrambling away on all fours, the man lurched when his back hit a tree, looking desperately around for some form of escape.

"L-look, you have a right to be upset, I mean-"

"You've endangered my life, the lives of my students, not to mention lied directly to the faces of several respected officals for what I ASSUME is because you're to cheap to pay for the correctly ranked mission-"

"Yes, there's that, but I had a good reason-"

"For the record saving money isn't a valid reason-"

"True, but it wasn't so much as I didn't actually HAVE the money to buy the service I needed and-"

"Which is SO much better-"

"He's going to kill me though!" The terrified man wailed at the top of his voice, finally exasperated with terror. Absently Kakashi sighed, wondering who else was going to break out in sobs.

"Oh god...I forgot my night cap! SLEEPING TIME IS RUINED! BWAAAAAAH!" Naruto suddenly cried at the top of his voice, comicly bawling. "...all of my hate." Was all Kakashi could muster, wondering if ending his life this very moment would dishonor his ENTIRE family and lineage or if he could get away with it considering the circumstances.

After several long minutes of consoling that Kakashi really wished he hadn't had had to do in the first place, they'd finally managed to squeeze the truth out of the man.

Apparrently he was a bridge builder, as his profile had stated, but was actually the LAST skilled craftsman on a team of builders who'd been put to the task of completely a bridge. This PARTICULAR bridge happened to connect the village of the mist to the rest of the world, meaning that the heavy shipping prices that were steadily bankrupting the country would no longer have to be paid.

Gato, the shipping owner, international sleezeball and professional kicker of puppies, wasn't going to have that.

"So that's the situation. One of the richest, and not ot mention sleeziest men on the planet has it out for my head. He's hired some of the mists deadliest ninja and I'm the only man on the planet with the architectural expertise to complete the bridge. Meaning once I'm dead, the mist is doomed." Finished with his tale, Tazuna slumped back, looking exhausted and forlorn.

Kakashi remained silent, thinking. "Why didn't you just hire some REAL professionals for this mission then? I mean, those Chuunin weren't much, but I doubt a guy that's loaded like Gato is would stop with just two ninja." Naruto absently scratched his chin while kicking a stone.

"W-we have to fight more guys like that? Oh man, we should probably just hightail it now." Sakura slumped over, nearly mimicking Tazuna. "Sakura. Remember what I said." Sasuke nudged the girl to get the point accross.

"Y-your right Sasuke-kun. Forgive me."

"Oh would you two get a room." Naruto found two extremely irritated glares sent his way, to which he ignored.

"I've decided." Kakashi suddenly spoke up, everyones heads snapping towards the man in question. "Since this is your first c-rank mission, and from what I've seen I doubt that this will get much more dangerous, I think it should really be up to you three whether or not we continue." Kakashi pointed towards his three students to emphasize his point.

There was a pause.

"No offence sensei, but that's not so much making a decision, as passing the buck to us. " Naruto admonished.

"Weren't you crying a moment ago?"

"I found my emergency backup hat. Crisis was averted." Said cap mysteriously materialized on top of Naruto's head, grinning stupidly.

"...anyways, yeah, you three get to decide. Go to what is probably an high B-rank to possible A-rank mission, or walk home and leave this old guy to the mercy of whatever the hell else comes our way."

The three of them huddled together, murmuring.

"What do you guys think? I mean, not that I care, but he explicitly said we THREE, so I guess I'm stuck with you." Ignoring his rather denoting tone, Sasuke closed his eyes in thought. "...I say we do it. If we can complete an A-rank mission, we'll be that much stronger."

"Plus, think about. An entire village is in danger! We'd be heroes if we saved this old guy! Wouldn't that be awesome!" To Sasuke's chargrin, Sakura looked ecstatic at the idea of being fawned over and priased. "Okay, and you Naruto?"

"...You have to ask? Please, if it gets me another chance to blow the crap out of stuff, I'm friggin' in." Naruto's smirk reminded the two of them strongly of a fox moving for the kill, making his statement just that much more disturbing. "...you're not even slightly fazed that you burned a man alive a few minutes ago, are you?" Sasuke said this with as little emotion as he could muster, although the feeling of anxiety still crept into his voice.

"No, not really. Why, should it?" Sasuke and Sakura could only nod their heads before they broke group.

"We've decided. We'll continue the mission." Kakashi closed his eyes, nodding. "Well, that's what I get for leaving a decision this important in the hands of you three Noobs. It's your lucky day Tazuna-san." At this, the man smirked. "Yeah, I guess it is. Well, there's only one way I know hot to celebrate!" At this, the man took a massive swig of his bottle.

"Alright! We've wasted enough time as is! Let's go Tazuna's Angels!" The man turned, now rather drunk, and slopped off. "T-Tazuna's angels?" Sakura's eyebrow twitched uncontrollably at the idea of this.

"Sensei?" Peering up from his book with a teensy blush on his face, Kakashi looked towards Sasuke. "Yes?"

"What about that one ninja, the one you knocked unconcious? I haven't seem him in a while." Kakashi looked away for a moment, appearing to think, before looking back. "Oh, well, after I questioned him I tied him to a tree. The authorities are going to pick him up in a while. I doubt he'll die of exposure." The man turned back to his book, effectively ending the conversation.

However, as they started to walk, Sasuke's rather piercing gaze never left his face, and unable to concentrate, Kakashi looked back at him.


"...yes, Sasuke?" Not entirely sure what to expect from the boy, Kakashi had to admit, he unnerved him a little.

"...he's actually dead in a ditch somewhere, isn't he?"

"...you always were fairly perceptive."

"Hn. No, I'm just not a child. We don't need a risk like a rogue ninja with a vengence on our tail." With that, Sasuke broke away to rejoin his peers, who were currently ignoring eachother.

"Whatever happened to children having innocence, I wonder?" Kakashi flipped a page in a book, knowing full well the carnivorous wildlife would be eatting well tonight.

On a diet of two brothers, one flame-broiled, the other cold as ice.

"ARE WE THERE YET!" Naruto's rather exasperated voice sang over the canopy of trees, causing Sakura to flinch.

"NO WE ARE NOT THERE YET, SO STOP ASKING!" Animatedly shrieking back at the boy, Kakashi wondered idly how many enemies they'd just given their position away too.

Probably all of them, he guessed. "Would you two shut up, your going to get us all killed!" Nervously hissing under his breath, Hatchi, the boat operato,r threateningly shook his fist at the three of them. "I swear, I will turn this boat around if you don't stop bickering like school children!"

"Uh, but we are school children." Naruto earned himself a smack to the back of the head from Sakura for that one, eliciting a growl. "Don't do that again. I will end you." Leering at the girl, the boat they sat in rocked so slightly. Sakura nervously acknowledged her mistake, sheepishly apologizing.

The journey had taken them to the edge of fire country, and they now were attempting to cross the river with the aid of a ferry operator. Thanks to the mist cover, which Kakashi noticed also inhibited THEIR vision just as much as the larger water patrols that littered the small ocean, they could hopefully make it accross without being noticed.

"Are we there yet?" Provided of course Naruto didn't give away there position.

"Huh." Taking a breath, Kakashi searched for his options. "Naruto."

The boys head perked, up, not expecting to have his question addressed. "Yeah?"

"What can I do, to get you to STOP. TALKING."

"...give me that little red book your always reading. I could use some literature." Sasuke and Sakura's eyes widened as Kakashi's eye twitched. Smirking wide and smugly, Naruto watched as some waves lapped at his boat.

Tazuna took another swig of his sake.

"Murder you it is then." Moving to stand up, Kakashi suddenly lurched forwards when the boat suddenly stopped. "Uh, actually we are here. Now please get off this boat, before you gather even MORE freighters towards us. Seriously, you people have got to be the loudest ninja I've ever ferried into our village." Not bothering to acknowledge the man, Tazuna simply handed him his coins and walked off, the team following shortly after.

"Uh, sensei, you were joking before, right? About murdering me?" Naruto walked up, looking just slightly worried.

"Yes. Joking. About murdering you. For sweet silence. Sweet, sweeet silence." Kakashi suddenly gained a rather far off look that left Naruto slightly worried. "R-right." His pace quickened to catch up with his teammates. "So sensei finally lost it. Apparrently that book is important enough he'll kill for it or something." Naruto spoke up to the two.

"To be honest, I'm not that surprised. I hear a lot of Ex-ANBU and high-ranking jounins develop weird coping mechanisms to deal with the sheer horror of there lives. It's called the 'Gai Principle'. Why it's called that I have no idea though." Naruto nodded. "Huh, lucky I don't have any weird ticks like that, huh? Could you imagine?" He had the weirdest urge to burn down a house for some reason.

Oh well, the only thing that he could burn at the moment was a patch of trees and a white rabbit that ran past. A thought suddenly struck Naruto however. Why was it white, when it was the middle of summer-

"GET DOWN!" His legs suddenly sweeped from underneath him, Naruto's back hit the rough dirt with a thud, narrowly avoiding the massive black shadow that sailed past where his and his teammates skulls had been a moment ago.

The heavy crunch of wood sounded as one, two and finally three trees were violently reduced to splinters, the massive sword that had nearly killed all of them firmly embedded in the final trunk.

Springing to there feat, the four surrounded Tazuna, eyes scanning the slowly enveloping mists. Naruto absently scratched his orange shirt, feigning casual, while on the inside a deep sense of forboding welled up.

Naruto didn't like this emotion.

"I see that you have my package, Copy-cat Kakashi. Would you be so kind as to step aside so I can end him. It's already late in the afternoon, and I'm feeling sleepy." A disembodied voice filled the clearing they stood in, deep baratone brimming with the intent to cause pain and misery.

Kakashi seemed unphased however. "My reputation proceeds me." He didn't move, simply twirling a kunai between his fingers. Although, his book was suddenly absent from his hands, something that Sasuke knew meant he was dead serious. "I just happen to have a little book that has EVER so many little facts about you." There was a flash of movement out of the corner of his eye, Kakashi's entire body twitching in preperation of an attack-

That never came, a figure suddenly materializing itself atop the massive swords vertically displaced handle. "Hatake Kakashi. The Copy-Cat ninja. Uses the sharingan, has renowned record as one of Konoha's most lethal jounin. Extremely dangerous. Avoid/Kill on sight. Oddly enough, my profile says something pretty similar. Can't say I know a thousand jutsu though. That true?"

The man flipped a page in the book, his grey skin and pale complexion providing a remarkable amount of camoflague against the cool grey of the weather. Around his face a mask of bandages strung themselves, black and white camoflague leggings and arm-warmers completing the outfit.

"Yes, it actually is true; Momochi Zabuza, demon of the Hidden Mist."

"Oh, awesome, now we can skip right to the part where I kill all of you and take my bounty." Although his face remained unmoved, Zabuza absently interjected a level of excitement into his voice that left almost everyone present a little bit horrified. "What gave you that idea?" Kakashi remained tense.

"Just a hunch I guess. Gonna show me your tricks wild man, or do I have to splatter a couple of your puny pupils heads before that happens?" Zabuza's neck cracked ever so slightly. Kakashi flexed his right hand.

"I guess your right. A monster like you has at least earned some level of recognition. So I'll endulge." Grasping the left side of his slanted hitate, Kakashi's other scarred eye was revealed, flashing open to reveal a deep crimson orb. "You three, guard Tazuna with your very lives. It's the only way we'll all make it out of here alive." Sakura's face flashed with a severe degree of worry, but she nodded, along with Sasuke.

"Awe, that's cute the way you think your not going to die." Zabuza lazily crouched on his sword, watching the group intently. Kakashi turned back towards Zabuza, his full attention now fixed on the man. "Zabuza, you should know that you won't survive this encounter. I can see into the future, and all your future holds is death."

"Oh, wow, if I haven't heard that a dozen times already. Come at me bro." Zabuza spread his arms wide, literally asking for his enemy to attack-

Which was precisely the moment when a massive explosion enveloped the tree he was standing in, sending even more splinters and pieces of wood flying everwhere. Taken aback in shock, everyone turned towards the only person who could possibly be responsible for this.

Naruto absently sent them a bored expression, goggles firmly stuck over his eyes.

"What? When a bro asks you to come at him, you oblige. Plus I really hate these long ass introductions before massive fights. It's great for tention but after a while it becomes obvious there just dragging things out unnecassarily."

Zabuza's dead!

Oh, please, like I'd kill him off just like that. Relax.

Not to say I wouldn't, just that you should probably just take a chill-pill or something. Shit gets real next chapter.

Okay, one update in two months. Not bad, could be better. A lot better, I'll admit. But considering how busy I am you can imagine that it's difficult to find the time and motivation to get up and channel even MORE of my spare time into this.

Thankfully, I love writing fanfiction, and I love the community.

Did I mention you guys are awesome? Well, you are, despite what many social majorities might say otherwise. Just remember, they suck, you don't, nothing else matters.

So, here's a news recap: I am currently looking for a new beta(Fans are encouraged to edit this chapter to prove themselves if they are at all interested. Yes, another unedited chapter). I am also trying to be more active on deviantart. I'm currently holding a poll on whether you, THE PUBLIC, think I should concentrate on fanfiction, or Deviantart, so if you want to poll in, go ahead.

I can be found on deviantart as Nun2artzy, by the way. Fans who check this out can be awarded with some cool ass art by myself, some not so cool ass art by me (What can I say, I was going through a meme phase?), and some pictures I'm not to proud of (What an I say, I watch it for the animation. Yeah, I'm sticking with that answer. Don't judge). Oh, and a little Cutting Strings wallpaper I threw together. You know, incase your one of the few people who are still holding out for that updated chapter.

Which I'm working on. Along with those edited chapters of the first six that are craptastical. Just thought you'd like to know.

Okay, I think that's it.

U mad? Review about it!