Disclaimer: All Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer
I am un-leavable. Of this, I am certain. Maybe that is why I behave the way that I do. Maybe my constant storms come crashing down like hurricances on those that I love because I know for a fact that they will never leave me, ever. I shuddered as this selfish realization crept through my mind. I gazed down at Jacob's face as he clung to me in his sleep. His expression twisted in angst and his body twitched slightly as his fingers bore into my arm, "Nessie" he whispered softly. How could I not love him? His jet black locks, long and sleek swept across the strong angle of his jaw, his sweet ruddy lips that have been the source of millions of kisses bestowed upon me, of coarse I love him. I love him with every ounce of monstrosity of which I am made. My Jacob, my beautiful and strong Jacob. I allowed my fingertips to trace the contours of his face pausing to feel his warm breath escape his flawless lips. He has been everything to me-- my protector, my big brother, my best friend, my companion, my confidant, my shoulder to cry on, the brunt of my anger and soon my lover. I gasped at this thought. It had come as a shock to me, though not to anyone else. They all knew the whole damn time.
Chapter 1: Red and Green
Alice came charging down the stairs, her pixie hair ruffled jetting in all directions. The distress clung to her almost as surely as her crimson chiffon sweater. Her shadow dusted eyes darted with confusion, searching. I could see her silently calling and in seconds my dad burst through the door with mom on his heels, "Alice, what happened?" Charged up from the hunt, their pale faces looked almost human. I smiled at the thought of human parents, silly. As composed as he looked in his debonair jacket, his words were urgent and his face twisted in disgust as he read her thoughts. He ran to her grabbing her tiny shoulders with a firm shake that would have caused a concussion for a human, "But how can you see?" Alice gave no response, she only bit her lip and shook her head.
Their silent conversation proved too much for my mother. Her golden eyes were wild and in one swift motion she gently brushed dad out of the way, taking Alice's thin hands warmly in her own, so comforting, so confidently, "What did you see?" Alice's focus zipped to me, our eyes locked. She hastily broke the gaze and turned back to mom, "What about her?" And in a flash, the three of them disappeared from the room leaving me alone.
Only slightly alarmed, I rolled my eyes at my father's overly protective instincts. Its not like I wouldn't find out, secrets around here are about as rare as sunshine in Forks. And like the sun, the secrets only lasted until the truth bearing clouds reclaimed their rightful place. I could be patient.
I busied myself in the kitchen making a couple of sandwiches. Jacob would be back from his patrol soon and he is always starving, stupid insatiable appetite. I focused on doing things at human speed, which is tedious, to say the least, but I have to admit that I need the practice. Starting high school would be a challenging test of my ability to blend in. Growing up in a house full of Vampires and having a shape-shifting wolf as a best friend doesn't exactly qualify as normal. I steadied my gaze, carefully layering the sandwiches together. I assembled my tiny works of art taking note of the balance of color that the bright red tomatoes seemed to have with the muted green of the lettuce. I laughed at myself, feeling like someone had pushed a button on a remote forcing my actions into slow motion. I jumped, startled as the door swung open. I laughed again at my human tendencies. Jacob's smile slithered across his face and his eyebrow raised, "Making sandwiches?" he chuckled as he joined me in the kitchen. It really was our own area of the house since no one else had the need to eat. He wrapped me in a tight bear hug, crushing me against his chest. He is always so warm. He kissed the top of my head and let me go, "Great, cuz I'm starving," he growled flashing his teeth.
"Imagine my surprise," I said coolly. He sneered at me and dug in. I watched him devour my artwork with a disapproving grin.
"What?" he said with lettuce tumbling from his lips and mustard coating the corners of his mouth.
"Nothing," I said with a tell tale eye roll, "It just took me forever to make those and you are wolfing them down like there's no tomorrow!" He laughed at my pun and playfully punched my shoulder.
"I suppose you're going to whine that I hurt your arm too... faker! We both know that it took you all of thirty seconds to whip these babies up," he taunted as he greedily stuffed the last bit of a sandwich into his already full mouth licking his chops as he swallowed it.
I shook my head, "Nope, I made them at human speed," I proudly announced. He must have seen through my false pride, I should have known better.
He groaned, "Oh come on Nessie, you will be fine at school, don't worry everyone will love you and know one will know. If that arrogant, pretty boy father of yours could pull if off, I'm sure that you will have no problem at all." He laughed again with a wicked smile. The rivalry between my father and Jacob, like most things, was no secret in this house. I sneered at him making a nasty face. He punched me again and in a fury I dove across the kitchen tackling him and delivering a swift knock to the jaw as we tumbled onto the living room floor. "Temper, temper," he mused, laughing at my faulty attempts to inflict pain. He quickly had me pinned to the ground with my arms above my head. He prepared to deliver a furious amount of tickle torture when the door swung open startling me for the second time today. Jake laughed at my humanism and almost resumed his war when he looked up to see my parents. Our smiles quickly disappeared and Jacob jumped to his feel, "Bella, what's wrong?"
He was at her side in a flash and for a second, only a second, I felt a sting of jealousy. My gaze turned to my father, his expression was serious, his face looked as if it were chiseled from stone. I rolled up into a seated position and crossed my legs, waiting for my mother to answer. She almost glared at Jacob, her lip curling up slightly, but quickly regained her senses, regretting her hostility. "We need to talk to you two." She paused, "Separately." She nodded at Jacob with a daunting look. I turned to Jacob, he bowed his head looking up at me and in two strides was out the front door.
I stood up straightening my clothes, "Is this about what Alice saw this morning?" I sneered meanly, defending Jacob.
"Yes," Daddy replied, his eyebrows were furrowed and his lips pursed, he stood unnervingly still, even for me. I couldn't make sense of it so I reached for his hand, but pulled away, "I think this is something the three of us need to talk about together" he said denying my request to hear this thoughts. He took mom's hand, and in a deep velvety voice asked "Bella do you want me to tell her?"
"No," she said with a small reassuring smile, "This will be better coming from me." I gaged my father's response, he seemed to approve and I sensed a touch of relief. This situation was not his forte. My curiosity was peaked and I turned my attention to mom. She took a deep breath, as if she needed it, and turned her eyes intently in my direction, "OK. Nessie, I want to make this as honest and as easy as possible," she paused, "for all of us." quickly glancing at Daddy, who seemed detached.
"Alice has seen something of a change between you and Jacob," she said slowly. "We are concerned for many reasons. First off, this is the first vision that Alice has had of Jacob. We all are aware that he, and the rest of the pack are usually a black hole for her. She is fumbling with what that means and why this has changed. Secondly, we are dreading this conversation because we don't want to hurt you and we don't want you to feel like we have been lying to you or deceiving you." She stopped sensing my anger beginning to boil. What could they be keeping from me? How could they keep anything from me? We don't have secrets. The accusations flew through my head being fully aware that Daddy was hearing all of them. But his expression did not falter. My mother continued,"And we don't want you to be mad at Jake either, honey." I nodded silently, more than anxious for the explanation, get on with it already I thought. I felt the slow creeping anxiety gaining momentum in chest, as if my heart didn't beat fast enough, I detested being kept in suspense. Hearing my distress build, my father squeezed my mother's hand, urging her to continue.
"Renesemee, since the day that you were born, the first moment that Jacob saw you he has loved you." my mom said warily.
"I know that Mom," I said getting impatient with the build up.
She hesitated and then uncharacteristically blurted out, "That was because he imprinted on you." She stood perfectly still anticipating the storm. My fits were somewhat of a household issue. I felt the confusion muddled with anger, "What?!" I roared clenching my jaw, "Like Sam imprinted on Emily? But how? I was just a baby!" I screamed. I felt the panic racing through me, ready to explode, my lungs tightened choking back a sob, "but he's my best friend," I said defeated.
Now Daddy reached out for my hand, "I know honey," he said in a soothing voice. I flung visions at him-- Jacob by my side when I was a toddler, holding me, feeding me, teaching me to hunt, laughing with me, cuddling me, us play fighting, him calming me down after my fits, everything that was burned into my memory, I pushed it all into my father's mind. "Baby, we know, we watched it all happen, we knew the whole time, we are sorry that we didn't tell you, but we were trying to do what was best, we want you to have a choice," he urged, "we didn't know how you would feel and we didn't... don't know when Jacob will start to love you like that." he snarled a bit as he said it. He let go of my hand to shelter me from his aggression toward Jacob. My mom gathered me up into her arms as much as I would allow and began stroking my hair lovingly. I could see the sadness in her amber eyes as they faded to a shade slightly more like my own. I pulled back from her as the knowledge sprung from my mind, he had loved her once too, and she him. I shuddered with fury and my heart quickened yet again. I closed my eyes to see my anger and jealousy flash in bursts of green and red. I fought to control myself.
"What did Alice see?" I said breaking the nostalgia and wanting to get to the facts so that I could regain some control and readily asses the situation. In the face of emotional situations I would prefer to use logical tactics as much as possible. It has been suggested, by Carlisle, that this very tendency is the root of my notorious temper tantrums. I don't think that I believe him. I looked up to see pain flashing in my father's eyes and through clenched teeth he hissed, "Nessie, she saw you two having sex." He looked defeated and empty, his eyes went dull as if he had given up the last of his strength by putting it into words.
"Oh." It was all I could muster. I looked down knowing how hard this was for Daddy. My mother took another deep breath, coating her voice with motherly intentions, "Nessie, you have a choice, Alice's visions aren't final. We love Jacob and we know that you do too, but you need to know that you have a choice in all of this." she sighed, "I know better than anyone, and you have a choice, trust me." She threw a heavy glance at my father, his eyes met hers and he looked away in shame.
Not wanting to be a part of their private moment, without a word I was out the front door. My blood was on fire and I needed the cooling effects of the outside air. As I headed into the forest I could hear Daddy following, but he quickly stopped and turned back when he heard the word "ALONE" that I shouted in my head. No sooner than I stepped foot into the trees did I meet a pair of beautiful ebony eyes shining between the ferns on the forest floor. The eyes and wolfy grin silently pleaded with me, but I just turned and ran. He let me go, I'm sure that he was more than used to dealing with this, after all he did have to endure my mother.