Rated M for Mature. This story will contain Sexual jokes, raunchy humor, hints at or scenes with masturbation, and all sorts of naughty humor. You have been warned! If you are under 18 and get caught reading this and get in trouble, it's not my fault.
The sun was slowly making it's decent as the sky took on a red tint mixed with blue and purple. It was the perfect time of year.
The air was full of wonderful scents floating about, the breeze was nice as the night was creeping out, and the atmosphere held a magical touch. But that's not what made it perfect. The real reason it was his favorite time of year?
That's right, the time of year when a demon's hormones bounce off the walls screaming for all out sex. The reason men chased anything with a nice butt and a set of breasts. Sometimes they didn't even care if it was nice, just as long as something was there to grope.
Even the females changed behaviors during the season. The hormones could make the nicest shy girl start acting like, well, a slut.
One of those nice girls turned naughty was exactly what he was looking for. Where was he going to look? The bar of course. Other than girls, it had drinks.
Chuu walked down the street toward the bar, more like stumbled toward the bar, as the sun gave a few last peeks over the horizon before going to bed. He had had a 'few' drinks before he left the house to start him off. And boy was he looking for something to start and finish.
Chuu stumbled through the bar door running right into another patron. A few minutes and a few exchanged punches later, the drunken patron was hurled through the bar door into the night.
"That'll teach tha bloke some dern manners. Bumped right inta me an ne'er said 'scuse me." Chuu made his way to the bar to order his drink.
After a few of the strongest drinks they had, he spun on his bar stool to glance around the room. The room kept spinning no matter how tightly he held the bar. That's when he spotted her. A nice looking Sheila, kept spinning with the room, but still nice. Human no doubt, but like hell that was going to stop him.
With another swig of what was left from his drink, he walked over to her. "Ello Sheila. Nice ass ya 'ave, mind if I be havin' a feel?"
Before he knew what had happened, his cheek was burning, his face was dripping beer, and she was storming off in the other direction. "Was it somethin' I said?!"
Chuu didn't let that stop him, there were plenty on other fine looking girls here. Human world had a lot of them, that was for sure. Speaking of fine, there was a nice little blonde sitting alone in a booth.
He wiped the drink off his face and made his way over to her.
"Ey there Sheila." Chuu said as he slipped into the booth next to her. "Yer mighty 'ot. Ya might wanna take quick action 'cause yer makin' my ice cream cone drip."
He was struck three times in the face, then he was kicked out of the booth before a half full mug of soda was thrown at him. The blond jumped out of the booth over Chuu, as he was lying on the floor, and cast a 'jack-ass' over her shoulder as she stomped off.
"Well, it wasn't all bad. At least I got ta see 'er panties."
This wasn't working the way he planned. It was already the second day into mating season, which only lasted a week, and he had yet to score a 'fine Sheila'. What woman could resist a strapping and strong man such as him? Especially in a bar! Didn't women think drinking everyone else under the table was sexy? Something was wrong with human females. Actually, most demon females too. If he was a woman, he would be all over himself in a heartbeat.
Chuu stood up and dusted himself off. Surely there had to be a woman around here that wanted a piece of him. What would Shishi and Suzuki do in this situation? They were always bragging about their luck with women. Maybe if he used some actual pick-up lines instead of just making them up.
He spotted a redhead talking with two brunettes and a taller blond near the entrance. Perfect. They looked like they might flirt back.
He strode up to their group and leaned up against his arm on the wall. When they all turned and looked at him, he gave a wink.
"Do any of ya fine Sheila's 'ave a quarter 'cuz I wanna call yer mum... No wait, that's not 'ow that goes." The girls exchanged strange looks with one another before turning back to Chuu. "I got it! You've got them big... wings that you use to fly down from 'eaven. Crap. That's not 'ow that one goes either. 'Old on one sec."
"I got it!" The girls gave him a weird look as they tried to back away. "Why don't tha four of ya 'ead on back to my place with meh, an yeh can fight over the good parts."
Three drinks were thrown at Chuu after two slaps had been completed by the redhead and one of the brunettes. The small group of women retreated to the back of the bar away from the towering aura alchemist. These weren't the kind of free drinks that he liked. Wearing the drink just wasn't as much fun as actually drinking it.
Bloody hell. This night just wasn't going as planned. Someone must have wrote "Throw drinks on me and slap me" on his forehead.
After a quick trip to the bathroom to check for any words printed on his face, along with the call of nature from all those drinks he had had, he sat back down at the bar. People could probably tell that he was brooding, which might be why no one was sitting near him. That and he is quite intimidating looking.
Someone sat in the seat next to him. And it was a fiery redhead in a short dress with her back turned to him. Luck was finally smiling on him.
"Ey there Sheila. Yer lookin' mighty nice. 'ow bout a drink?" Chuu might be buzzed, but he tried to use his manners this time. Girls seemed to like 'nice' men sometimes. How Shishi got women with the I'm-better-than-you-and-everyone-else act was a mystery.
"Sure thing Honey." The redhead said as she turned toward him. Chuu reeled back in his seat and about fell.
"Bloody 'ell! Yer a bloke!" Chuu screamed. It was one of those cross dressers that Yusuke had talked about in the human world. Of course cross dressing wasn't unheard of in demon world, but at least they tried a little harder back home. "I gots ta go some place and do somethin'! I think meh 'ouse might be on fire! Gotta go!"
Chuu ran out of the bar as fast as he could. He might be drunk or buzzed or whatever, but he wasn't about to go home with someone that had more face stubble then him. Lonely and horny had a line in his book. And that one just crossed it, by about several hundred feet.
So much for Sheila hunting. That bar was now off limits. Time to find a new drinking spot. Next time, he's just going to ask Shishi or Suzuki if they had any female friends that were lonely.
Well, at least he had had a few good drinks and had gotten to see someone's panties. He was going to have a nice long drunken sleep when he finally got to his bed, even if it was alone.
Author's note: There's the first chapter. I had to pick on Chuu a bit, he's just too cool to leave in the background. My first actual story with chapters! Wow! Up next... Well, I'm not sure who is next, but keep an eye out, it's gonna be one of the other guys! Tell me what you guys think so far.