Author's Note: I thought of this during work, and it was so funny I had to write it!

It's a sexed-up version of Total Drama Island.

That is, it's just like the TV show, only the challenge involves sex!

Total Sex Island 1: The Sex Challenge

(a lost episode of Total Drama Island)

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright Fresh TV Inc.

The author is in no way associated with the owners of the copyright.

This story was written for non-profit entertainment purposes only.

Chapter 1: The Challenge, and Pairing Up

"Hello, and welcome to Total Drama Island!" Chris, the host, began. "On our last episode...Nah, screw it! Who cares what happened before? I know what you really want to see! Who hooks up with who? Find out in the most...stimulating episode yet of Total Drama Island: The Lost Episodes!"

Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...
You guys are on my mind...
You ask me what I wanted to be
And now I think the answer's plain to see...
I wanna be...FAMOUS...
I wanna live close to the sun...
Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...
Everything to prove, nothing in my way...
I'll get there one dayyy...
'Cause I wanna be famous!
Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...
Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...
I wanna be...
I wanna be...
I wanna be famous...
I wanna be...
I wanna be...
I wanna be famous!
Doo doo-doo doo...
Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...

"Hello, campers! The challenge today is a subject near and dear to your heart...Or some other body part...Sex!"

"What?!?" Owen yelped.

"You can't be serious!" Gwen barked.

"Chris, you've finally gone off the deep end!" Duncan observed.

"I know Canada is pretty liberal, but this is beyond tacky!" Heather sniped.

"Now, now, campers! Settle down! You're all 16, which is the age of consent in Canada. And don't tell me you've never done it before!"

"Well, uh, sure, we have." Harold muttered.

"Good! Because your challenge today is to use sex to turn on me and Chef! We've put private cabanas on the beach so you can do the dirty deeds. That is, semi-private cabanas, so me and Chef can get an eyeful! There's only one rule...There are no rules! And remember, Chef is way twisted, so he's bound to be into some real fucked up shit!"

Chef grinned evilly.

"You can't force us to do this, Chris!" Courtney defiantly screamed.

"You're right. I can't. Because that would be il-lee-gal! And while we can't record today's challenge, since you're all under 18, it's still an official part of the contest. So if you don't play, you can't win, and get a shot at immunity and the $100,000 grand prize!"

(In the Confessional Outhouse...Courtney)

"Not recording, huh? How stupid do you think I am?

I've got lawyers, Chris!"

(In the Confessional...Chris)

"I've got better ones."

The teens stood around, unsure of what to do.

"Well? What are you waiting for? Pick your partner, or part-ners, and get to to it!"

The group of 22 teens quickly paired up.

"Finally!" Gwen said to Trent. "A challenge we can do together!"

"Come on, big boy! I know how we can win this contest!" crazy Izzy said to Owen.

"Awesome! Lead the way!" Owen whooped, and pumped his arms. "Woo-hoo!"

"This will be so much fun!" Bridgette said to Lindsay, her girlfriend. "Geoff has the cutest little penis!"

"Bridge!" Geoff protested.

"Did I say little? I meant big! HUGE!! Geoff's so big it hurts!"

"Er, it's not supposed to hurt, is it?" ditzy Lindsay asked.

"Let's do it to it, my man!" LeShawna said to Harold.

"I'm at your service, my chocolate goddess!"

"Oh, Katie!"

"Oh, Sadie!"

The two girls who shared a brain yelled and hugged each other.

"Do you know what to do?"

"No. Do you?"

"We'll figure something out!"

"So, uh, Lindsay?" crafty Noah inquired. "I've got a perfect plan to win this thing! What do you say?"

"Okay!" Lindsay chirped. "Um, are you Tyler?

"Sure I am!" Noah lied. "And this is Tyler. And this is Tyler!" Noah added, pointing to the real Tyler and Ezekiel. They'll help us."

"Wow, there sure are a lot of Tylers! What's your plan?"

After Noah whispered his idea into Lindsay's ear...

"I can do that!" Lindsay agreed. "In fact, I'm real good at it!"

"Why am I not surprised?" snarky Noah commented.

"What was that?" Lindsay asked.


"You're coming with me, pretty boy!" body builder Eva ordered Justin.

"I don't think so!" the vain male model replied, and then began spontaneously posing, thrusting out his pecs and biceps. Justin believed he was hot enough to win any turn-on contest, and didn't need anyone else.

"I don't like it any more than you do, but I'll do anything to win!" Eva declared.


"Yak yak yak. Whatever!" Heather said as she blithely handcuffed Eva to a pole.

Then she quickly put a collar on the stunned Justin. When the handsome dude tried to make a run for it, Heather yanked on the leash and applied an electric cattle prod to his posterior.

"Save your energy for the cabana, stud!" the domineering Heather instructed her captive.

"You won't get away with this!" Eva threatened. Try as she might, the pumped-up girl was unable to free herself from her confinement.

"Already have!" Heather nonchalantly responded.

Heather was decked out in an all-over dominatrix outfit, complete with mask and whip. The studded ensemble covered her entire body, except for strategically placed cutouts that exposed her nipples and bush.

"Where did you get that?" a baffled Gwen asked.

"This old thing? I borrowed it from my parents. What? I thought I should be prepared for anything." Heather haughtily answered.

Gwen continued to stare in disbelief as S&M Heather led her slave, Justin, to their beachside cabana.

"Wow. How are we supposed to beat that??" she asked her lover.

"True love is the sexist of all, Gwen!" Trent sincerely said. "You'll see! Chris and Chef will eat it up!"

"That's so sweet!" Gwen smiled. "I hope you're right, Trent. Although Chef is way twisted!"

"I can't do this, Chris." DJ said. "It goes against all my beliefs."

"I understand. Of course, this mean you lose any shot at immunity and could be voted off."

"Well, what are you waiting for, hotstuff?" Duncan said to Courtney. "There's a cabana with our name on it!"

"Me? Have sex with you?? I don't think so!" Courtney rejected her juvenile delinquent suitor.

"I don't believe this!" Duncan railed. "Do you want to lose??"

"I don't care! I'm not having sex with you! I do have some standards, after all!" the C.I.T. replied.

"Aw, come on! If I don't get it on with you, I'll have to join in some gang bang, and I got enough of that in Juvie!"

"No." Courtney stood her ground, arms folded.



Kinky sex!

Lots of kinky sex!

You'll never guess who wins!

(And who unexpectedly hooks up!)