Inspired by a recent Harrison Ford marathon, and my desire to try to write some Indiana Jones. This is set in 1977, so yes, Indy would still be around, if a bit older :)

by Mathematica

"I've just realised something."


"You're Han Solo!"

Now, I may be in my late seventies and retired, but a qualified professor should never be made to feel that his five-time-dropout, thirty-something year old son knows something that he does not. "I'm what?"

"Han Solo!" Mutt says with that particular son-knows-what-father-does-not kind of smirk. "You know, from Star Wars!"

No, I don't know.

"You both have really cool trademark weapons. You're both totally cocky and arrogant. You both end up falling for short, dark-eyed girls who hate you. You're both total mercenaries who don't believe in the supernatural …"

By this point, I'm not even listening.

"… and you look like each other and -- wow, you even have the exact same scar on your chin! How does that work out? They don't say how he got it in the film, but --"

"Oh, it's a film." Suddenly, this whole conversation makes a lot more sense.

"Yes! The kids -- hell, forget the kids, I loved it! You should really go see it some time!"

This, fortunately, is an old argument. "Mutt, bearing in mind the extremely low quality of modern cinema, I have no desire to ever set foot in one again, especially after that last atrocity you dragged me to -- what was it? --"

"The Incredible Shrinking Man -- but Dad, that was twenty years ago!"


"Fine. I guess the kids were right." He smirks. "You're just too old to enjoy such a great movie."

Oh. Now that is below the belt.

"And I was talking to Mum, and she said that --"

"Hold on a second. Marion is also a part of this travesty?"


Alright, this may just up the stakes a little bit ...

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away ...

"How can it be a long time ago and still be in the future?"


"Fine, fine, have it your way ..."

"Hey, don't you think that Princess girl looks just like your mother?"

"Dad --"

"She does, doesn't she? And those Imperials, they look just like Nazis!"


"I have a bad feeling about this!"

"You hear that? First he steals my looks, then he steals my girl and now he's stealing my goddamn lines!"

"Dad, shut up!"

Somewhere in a galaxy far, far away, Han Solo picked up a holovid and looked at the cover.

"Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark? Who makes this kind of -- hey, wait a minute. That looks just like ... oh gods. Leia!"