A.N.: so this story just wouldn't leave me alone! I had to get it down, lol, I hope this isn't horrible! This is my first Twilight Fic so be kind and Review. Lol

Chapter 1-the beginning of eternity

1652, town just outside of London

I sat at the foot of my bed in a daze, this could not be happening to me; I kept thinking that over and over. My life had speed out of my control so fast these last few years I was beginning to wonder if I had any control over it at all. My mother considered me to be something of an rebel, I had never been the proper little lady she had wanted me to be and all things considered I was the exact opposite. I had never been content with my life; content to sit daintily, to remain silent and brainless, these things weren't me at all.

Carlisle had been the only one, who had even tried to understand me in any way, but he had been gone for two years now and I was beginning to realize that he was not coming back. I choked back a sob at the thought, and my despair only intensified as my gaze landed on the wedding gown my mother had the seamstress prepare. Gazing at the horrible, beautiful, thing that symbolized the end of my freedom and the cage awaiting me tomorrow I couldn't help but think back to the beginning.

I was born into a well-off lord and lady, certainly a lucky lot that most people would not complain about. However, from the very start I had been different even from the cradle my nursemaid knew I was something strange. I used to cry all the time, no one could calm me, my tiny infant wails drove my mother very nearly insane and eventually they had called for the local priest. They had thought me possessed, maybe I was, maybe I still am, but I could never truly know…could I?

The priest had been held in very high regard, a vampire hunter and very devout man, he had brought his ten-year-old son along with him. Carlisle was in training to become priest/vampire hunter since his birth. Another who had his destiny chosen for him before he had even left the comforts of his mother's womb just as I had my own path chosen for me. The priest had come with his son, his bible, his cross and other holy weapons very ready to fight the demons that lay inside of me. However, the moment the nursemaid handed me to Carlisle my cries stopped and my tiny hand stretched out to grasp his hand giggling as only a baby could. At least that was what I have been told.

It was then that our friendship began, my Carlisle and I, we were inseparable from the start…at least we had been. I was always the curious child, wanting to know things ladies should not and I do say that I had poor Carlisle in knots. He was my unwilling co-conspirator, teaching me, a woman, how to read and write. Sneaking me books, and showing me how to climb trees, identify herbs, and generally do all the things my mother would have disapproved of had she known.

Carlisle was my dearest friend, my only friend, as my mother would allow me no others, and I often called him the brother of my heart. I told him everything, my dreams of seeing the world, doing things below my station and generally confiding in him all I knew I could never do yet still yearned to. I told him everything, at least until my tenth birthday. That was the day everything changed and I began to keep secrets from even Carlisle my dearest older brother (even if he wasn't related to me). That was the day these, powers, manifested and my terrible secret keeping began.

I had been brushing my hair, I remember it very vividly, I had wanted to get my ribbon to tie my hair back but it had been across the room and out of my reach. Then all so suddenly it began to float to me, as if by my command, but as soon as I stopped looking at it my concentration broke it had fallen. It had been the day so many doors opened to me, and so many more shut. I would practice my 'power' in secret so frightened of being called a witch but so enthralled with the wonder of it. I couldn't stop, couldn't make myself stop, and it only got worse as the years went by.

Around my twelfth birthday I realize I could encourage the flowers in my garden to grow, faster and stronger than ever before. No one really questioned it they just thought I had a way with plants and this talent was much easier to hide. I had never been one to hurt someone, in fact, I detested the very idea of it so much that when, at fourteen, Carlisle began where his father had stopped I was devastated by the news. He was a hero to everyone else, hunting down vampires, werewolves and witches, burning them at stakes and tearing them apart.

But I knew Carlisle, he was far to kind for such horrible deeds, and like me he detested hurting anything much less other people. It was the only thing we ever argued about, I was so adamant that vampires, witches, werewolves and the like could be good if we only gave them the chance to do so. I couldn't accept that god made anything he thought to be evil; he couldn't have made them only to condemn them. Carlisle, well he was hard to read sometimes, at times he almost looked like he wanted to agree with me but his duties held him back.

I had never confided in Carlisle for that very reason, his duties, if he were to know what I could do he would have no choice but to try me as a witch. I didn't think I was a witch, I didn't worship Satan, cast curses, ate babies pr anything of the sort. I just could move things around and make things grow, how could that be evil or bad? Still I feared the witches' pyre, I didn't want to be burned for something I had no control over and I didn't want Carlisle to be put in that position. The year I turned fifteen Carlisle had come to see me by our brook that was just off my father's estate, he said he had something very important to tell me.

It turned out that he was going on a hunt, a hunt he didn't think that he would be able to return from any time soon. I had broken down in tears, no matter my secrets, no matter our fights, Carlisle was my closest, dearest, kindest, most beloved and only friend. He was the rock I turned to when mothers plans for an arranged marriage got to out of hand or when I had a bad day. I had clutched him hard, crying my eyes dry, for he had never been away from me for more than a few days and now he told me he may be months gone. I was so afraid he'd forget me and never come back leaving me to my life of loneliness. I had given him my most favored locket, a rather plain piece that had an inscription on the inside that said 'Never lose your way' in Latin. I remember telling him that it would keep him safe, and make sure he never forgot that I was waiting for him to come back.

In return he had given me an iron cross he had made on a leather thong, I was wearing it even now when I knew he was not coming back to save me this time. Before it was always Carlisle that found some way to dissuade mother from her plans, I never knew how he had managed it but he had and now he was gone. I waited, waited every day for some word to come back, for a year I waited for any word from him. Finally a messenger boy came, he told my father that Carlisle had disappeared when he had gone after a vampire nest and thought to be dead. I had cried all day in my room, father had known how much Carlisle had meant to me, how much he still meant to me.

I was sixteen then, and in my grief I had tried to do something very foolish. I had rushed out of my room the next day, packed and ready to go searching for him so sure he was still out there somewhere. I didn't even get past the front door before the guards stopped me, and I never did get to go out searching for my dearest friend…the brother of my heart. I had never resented being born a boy more than those first few months when my father had me under constant guard to keep me from slipping away in the night. Had I been a son and not a daughter he would have encouraged me to go on my quest to search for my dear friend not kept me prisoner, here in my own home. Mother had kept me close then, never letting me out of her sights for long drilling into me how a proper lady should act and behave.

I was so pained over Carlisle's disappearance, so immersed in sadness, I just followed my mother's direction like a zombie and for a while I felt I had died. Strange that it would take this earth shattering news to move me from that state, to give me back my fire only to be smothered in my coming cage. I was sure Duke Henry was a nice enough man, he was of high class, and good fortune; however, I did not love him. I was to marry a man I had never laid eyes on and did not even know enough to know if I could come to love him. I was to marry him in a fortnight, I was to trade my name for his and no longer would I be Isabella Swan instead I would be Isabella Davenport.

I couldn't do this, I wouldn't do this, and I wouldn't allow this to happen to me when I could do something to stop it. I knew better this time; I did not show any distress or give any hint of my resolution. It had been a year my mother had finally stopped hovering and the guards were no longer posted outside my doors. I would do now what I should have done a year ago, I quietly gathered my things, and things I could not part with. The few thin books Carlisle had stolen away to me, my favored jewelry; the dress Carlisle loved on me, a small family portrait, and a heavily full coin purse I had been hiding. I changed into the servant clothing I had stolen from a maid, and placed everything in a worn travelers bag.

I waited until the cover of night, then I snuck from my room taking the servants way to the kitchens to gather some food for the journey and then I made my way off the estate. I went straight to the brook, our brook, and I took off my sturdy boots, gathered up my skirts and stepped into the cold waters. My father would no doubt send the dogs after me, and a hunter boy once told me water made it hard for the dogs to track. I traveled all night, never stopping, going well into the next day because I knew if my father caught me this time there would be no second chance. I would be doomed to the life I was trying to desperately to escape now, and all of this suffering would have been for nothing.

The sun was beginning to set before I even thought of stopping, my feet were blue from the cold waters and I was so hungry I had to pause for a minute to gather my strength. That's when I smelled it, blood; it made me feel queasy and very very nervous. I had always been sensitive to the smell of blood, it made me sick smelling like rotting copper in the rain. I had a very sensitive nose when it came to these things and if I smelt blood it was near. I almost turned back then, almost, I was so frightened, but before I could even think about it the choice was taken from me.

Something cold, and very hard slammed into my back shocking me enough I didn't even scream before that thing bit into my neck. I was very scared, I felt like all the blood in my body suddenly decided to head to my neck and gradually I began to feel so weak. I realized when I dropped my boots that I was going to die, die from this thing on my neck and everything in me rebelled out against the very idea. I hadn't come this far; done so much, given up everything just to die here and in my fury I pushed everything I had into getting this thing from me.

The blood lose had me slightly dazed and dizzy, distantly I heard the crash of something very hard being thrown through the trees but none of it touched me. I just needed to get away from there, get away from the thing that wanted my death so much and so even though it felt as if the blood at my neck was beginning replaced by the fires of hell I forced myself forward. The fire spread, consuming my body, it felt worse than I had imagined the very witches' pyres would have been but somehow I had enough strength in me to keep moving.

I couldn't think, couldn't see, I couldn't do anything but move forward pure stubbornness keeping me on my feet even though the pain was too much to bear. I felt for sure I was dying, that the thing had set me aflame, that the fires of hell itself was running through my veins. Still, I kept moving, I would keep going I had to…I had to do what I had sought out to do when I left my home. I had to find Carlisle, I had to make my own way in this life, I had just gained my freedom and I would not give it up for some creature.

I wasn't sure how I managed to make it to the waterfall, I had walked all night, through my pain induced haze I had made it here and I crawled the last stretch of the way. There was a small cave behind the falls, just small enough for me, I could hide there while I regained my strength, and I was so sure this sickness would not consume me. I laid on the cold stone in relief; finally sure I was far enough away from my attacker and my father that I was safe enough to rest. The pain of burning intensified and my last coherent thought was I was glad I had managed to keep my pack full of belongings with me even in my state.

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Hours past, days, everything blurred together and I was drowning in the darkness filled with pain. I started to count every breath I took to keep myself from screaming out and getting discovered. Slowly the burning feeling began to fade from my fingers, leaving them cold but it only intensified the feeling in the rest of my body. It took a very long time and no time at all for it to leave me limbs receding to just my torso. My heart started to pump faster, harder, while I tried desperately to hold onto life and to keep myself from surrendering to the darkness.

Futilely I tried to remember the reason I had been brought here, the reason I had forced myself onward even in my pain, the reason I had left my home and the reason I was suffering through this now. I tried so very hard to remember, it was important, I knew it was and every so often a name would linger on my lips begging to be voiced. Yet every time I tried, the pain stole it away from me, and it made me angry that this pain could take something so important from me. So angry in fact that I started to fight harder against it, even as it slowly worked it's way to my stressed and furiously pumping heart.

My breath came out in pants, I was finding it hard to breathe, harder to think but this only fueled my fury at this burning pain that was consuming me. Just as it faded to my heart, burning in hell's fire I whispered a name and my purpose for being here… "Carlisle". My heart stopped beating then and I waited in defeat, in death, knowing I would never do what I had so yearned to do, find my Carlisle the brother of my heart. I lay there a long time, waiting, and began to wonder what was taking death so long.

Curiosity made me open my eyes and I gasped out in amazement at the sight that greeted me when I opened my eyes for the first time in days. It was like I had been blind before; everything was so clear, so vivid now that I shuddered to think of how blind I was before. Every part of me seemed so new, so much better, the sounds, the sights, the smells, it all made me feel strangely weak and horribly strong at the same time. I stepped out from behind the falls careful to keep my pack from getting any more water on it and stepped out into the sunlight for the first time in days.

Nothing could of prepared me for what happened when I did, every inch of skin exposed glittered like diamonds, I couldn't look away and couldn't comprehend what I was seeing. Suddenly I felt desperate, like if I didn't see my normal, plain boring features I would be lost and I hurried to the waters edge to catch my reflection. What I saw wasn't me, she was a stranger, her evil glowing crimson eyes looked like blood and her face was too pretty. Yet every time I moved so did this stranger on the waters surface, it made me angry, and very sad. I could no longer deny what it was I had become, Vampire.

It meant so many things to me, but it also meant that even though I was living I might as well have died for no matter what I did I could not look for Carlisle now. I had become what he detested, I had become the monster that hid in the dark I had become something that he hunted down to see burn. This I could not hide from him, I could not hide the evil redness of my eyes or the paleness of my skin that sparkled like jewels in the sunlight. I could have cried, instead I rocked back in shock to sit on the riverbank wallowing in my despair.

I had always been naturally very pale, something that had become very popular for people of my station, but this was not natural this would oust me before I even opened my mouth. My plain chocolate eyes I had gotten from my father were gone, replaced by twin ruby orbs that warned anyone who gazed upon my face to run far away from me. I tired to think of everything Carlisle had told me of vampires, what they did and how they functioned. I was alone now, no one to take care of me and guide my way, I would have to figure this all out on my own.

Try as I might all I could think of was the vampires' fabled need to consume the blood of the innocent and naïve. Just thinking of it made the back of my throat burn uncomfortably, making me very thirsty but when I went to drink some of the river water it was like ash in my mouth. I could not drink water, could not eat food and with a dawning horror I began to realize I would have to kill someone to survive. The thought alone made me feel sickly and weak, I did not have it in me to harm anyone…not even a perfect stranger.

I had always been this way, violence was not for me, I could not raise my hand in anger to anyone and I could not even stomach the thought of killing someone to sate my hunger. That person could be someone's mother, father, sister, brother, lover, someone's dearest friend and to take something so precious from anyone was not right. But I have to drink blood. I sat there still as a statue trying to think of some way, some alternative that did not end with me becoming something I could not stomach. I thought about blood, it made me very thirsty, and then I heard a bird cry out somewhere in the forest.

That got me thinking, humans weren't the only ones with blood inside of them, animals had blood too and if I need to drink blood it didn't have to come from humans. I decided then and there I would be different; I would not be the monster hiding in the night waiting for my unsuspecting victim. I lost my chance of ever finding my dearest friend, I would never be able to see his kind face or hear his calm voice speaking to me of the world.

I laid back staring up at the sky and thinking of what I was going to do for the rest of eternity, after all vampires didn't grow old. No they didn't die unless someone killed them and I found it very unlikely that someone could kill me with the way I was feeling right now. So I was left at an impasse what was I going to do with myself now? I sighed, there was nothing to it I would have to stick to the forests avoid humans until I could figure out how to hide what I had become.

1653- Forests outside of Wales

My eyes were no longer glowing crimson orbs, now they were a haunting golden color that changed to a murderous black when I was thirsty. I avoided everyone the last year, roaming vampires and humans alike. It was very lonely, especially when I discovered I was not even given the reprieve of sleep from my nightmare. My, gifts had gotten impossibly strong since my transformation grown in ways I had a hard time handling at first.

A thought, just one thought or inclination had things floating around me now. A desire had saplings becoming giant ancient looking trees, and caterpillars becoming butterflies. I had yet to discover a way to hide my obviously inhuman features but loneliness made me risk exposure at night. At night, with the cover of darkness my pale skin barely raised an eyebrow and my inhuman attractiveness dulled.

Still, I wanted friends, I wanted to do the things I would have never been allowed during my human life and I wanted most of all to have something to fill eternity up with. I had better control over my powers and myself now, merely a year later but still I knew there was much I had left to discover. I decided then and there I wanted nothing more than to do everything I had ever dreamed about. All the things, the silly girlish fantasies I had once told Carlisle under the shade of the trees of my home.

I had time now, I had the strength and now I had the will to defy everything, time, my mother's teachings, and even the very world I was hiding from. I could defy them, I could be whatever I wanted now and it made me feel hopeful for the first time in years. I had gotten my dreams back and I would not let them leave me so easily this time around.

1660- Egypt

It was a lot harder to see the world when you had limits on where you could go and what you could do without drawing attention to oneself. Still the trek to Egypt had been well worth the effort for now I had a way to hide some of my more obvious unearthly features. Nagah had been a great help to me, the Egyptians had many techniques on making powers and creams to cover flaws on ones body. I had heard many rumors while working in various pubs and inns about the ways of the people here.

It drove me to coming here, and I was very glad I had decided to come. I apprenticed to a few women over the years, seamstresses, weavers, and anyone I thought could be helpful in finding ways to disguise what I am. Nagah was perhaps the most helpful in my endeavor to remain amongst humans as she helped me learn to conceal my biggest problem.

The light shows us for what we are, vampires, killers, beings of endless time, and now I had a way to hide even from the revealing light of day. It had taken a year of constant testing and experimentation to get the body cream just right but finally I have succeeded. Now, with it on I could step into the light of day with no fear because my skin would not sparkle like the gathering of thousands of jewels. No, it was hidden beneath the paint-like cream so now my skin only shone like I had been lit up from within and it only made it seem like I was glowing.

Now that wasn't ideal but it was passable enough that humans would now only be stunned by it not suspicious, at least I very much hoped so. I would be leaving soon, though I loved Egypt with its rich culture and ancient history I had to leave before someone noticed me. It was very sad; every time I grew close to someone I had to leave before they became too curious about the fact I never seemed to age.

I had a great time getting to know people, and learning the different languages but I was still very sad every time I had to move on to the next town. It was always like this the next town, the next country, the next friend, I could never stay and I didn't even know if I had the heart to do so. I would remain frozen, forever remaining the same, and all my friends were aging before my eyes every day. They would grow older, have families and eventually they would die. I would not.

It was funny I had never really thought about what I had left behind when I had run away from home that day. Run away from marriage and a lasting cage. I thought about my family, and about my dearest friend Carlisle a lot; however, I hadn't thought about what it meant to me until recently. Becoming a vampire had freed me but I saw now that I had just moved to a bigger stronger cage. I would never knew what it was like to marry a man, grow old, watch my children grow…die of old age.

I was thinking about that a lot now, every time I had to say goodbye to another friend, every time I heard a baby cry. I was lonely still; no human could fully fill the void inside of my heart because they could never know all of me. I could not tell them everything, could tell no one of my frightening powers and how they were evolving before my eyes. I could not tell them of my hopes; my wishes, my fears, and it made me feel alone even when I was standing right beside a friend.

1663-France

I finally had enough to begin to bring to life one of my dreams, so here I was in France commissioning the building of my ship. It was a strange experience directing men to do as I willed them to but I guessed it was an odd experience for them too. I was finding it a little surreal, but it would seem money could make the oddest things happen. I would have my ship soon; I would be a Captain, now all that was left was to get me a crew.

I had been on plenty of ships the last thirteen years, and I had been able to charm enough sailors to know the way around a ship. Now I would be heading out on my own ship soon, I would become a pirate but one with a certain set of codes that would make finding the right crew harder. I would not harm anyone, something I had not grown out of since I had turned, I even made sure any animals I ate were killed quickly with minimal suffering.

That didn't mean I hadn't learned how to defend myself though, I managed to hire a man to teach me how to handle a sword and pistol. I needed to be strong, because strength was what men respected. I could fight, I could beat them and with my enhanced abilities it was doubtful any human, man or woman, would be able to match me. I found myself undeniably happy to be fulfilling one of my more outrageous dreams.

Carlisle often told me tales of the Pirates of the Caribbean, of Port Royal and their codes. They were free; nothing could hold them and I had wanted to be one of them for a time when I was a girl. I would dream of being a strong Pirate Captain, of sailing the world over and discovering buried treasure. Of course I knew now that wouldn't be exactly the case but I could adapt, I was strong enough now to do everything I dreamed. This was one dream I wouldn't let go of and I would do it while I was able.

I even made my own Pirate colors already, I would be known yet, a female Captain with her trusty crew capturing ships without ever having to shed blood. It would be an experience, certainly, and it would definitely keep my path from any other Vampires, which was definitely a benefit. I had run into a few roaming vampires, all had those evil looking crimson orbs I had lost when I started to drink for animals and not humans.

They had been interesting enough and I would admit quietly to myself on long lonely nights I had been tempted by their company. However, I would never be able to live with myself if I just stood by and let people die around me without trying to prevent it. Feeding on animals was my own choice, I would not force my beliefs on anyone buy it also meant I was alone. I still made an effort to make friends with as many people as I could, it was surprisingly easy to do so and I enjoyed the company of humans.

They reminded me every day why I never gave in and drank from them, all my friends were dear to me and though I could not stay with them I tried to remain in contact. Some were so terribly kind I found it hard to leave them, some made me laugh so easily, and some made it hard to leave they were so comforting on especially lonely days. They were fleeting, but they kept me grounded. I was dealing with blood more and more easily; I hoped that soon I wouldn't even be affected by it.

I would find my crew soon, I would sail the seas, and I would see the world over and do it more times than I could count. I'm sure it would never get old, and since I could always change crews frequently I could do this longer than any other things I've tried. My beautiful ship would be done soon, I had her christened Destiny's Hand, and I would set sail in a few months. Soon the world would get its first look at a woman that was not content to sit quietly and take whatever a man could throw. I was stronger now, I would not hold my tongue, I would be loud, I would not be dainty and I would be a bit wild. I couldn't wait.

1668-Somewhere on the Atlantic Ocean

I looked out at my busy crew, they were all very happy, I was too after all we did get a get haul this time and the excitement was palatable. I laughed when I saw Sam O'Neal start a jig after he counted his pieces of eight, I loved my men, they were a bit rough around the edges but they were mine. It had been hard at first, gaining their respect had taken some time, but now it was so easy to sit here among them laughing.

Our first score came as a surprise to them, no bloodshed, no mayhem, just quick easy and very rewarding. Even when it came to blows I had made sure they never went for the kill only the hurt, only to defend themselves. I had learned from a healer as I went along and going amongst them healing their hurts had endeared me to them. Truthfully, it also made me very protective of them as well; they were like a blusterous band of fiendish friends I could never get tired of.

I had even made a name for myself in the civilized world, they called me the Pirate Queen, and I had become something of a legend. Oddly enough I didn't mind the attention as much as I thought I would, something that had been carried over from my human life. I didn't like to be the center of attention but I was slowly getting used to it. I always loved capturing English ships, the Captains always had books in their cabins, and I always took them.

At night when the work was done and the men were quiet in contemplation I would sit near the wheel reading out loud for them. It had become something of a tradition for me to read to them, they really were more boys than men and they enjoyed the stories. Some had even taken to actively searching out books when we got a ship so I could add to my growing collection. Sadly, not many of them wanted to learn how to read on their own, saying they preferred to listen to me instead.

Some did want to learn and I always tried to make time to teach them. I loved to learn, I would not deny anyone the chance I fought for and I wished I could learn more every day. Knowledge was something Carlisle had always loved to share, one of the reasons it was so easy for me to beg him for lessons. It would seem I had inherited that from him, I laughed as I made my way back to the cabin, and tomorrow was going to be a big day.

We would be hitting a Slave ship tomorrow one I heard not only held slaves but also a good store of the Queens gold. She was sending them to the New World but they would not make it there if I had anything to do with it. We captured a lot of slave ships, freeing the men and women held aboard, often times they would join up. Other times we would leave the ship in their hands and it was a very good feeling knowing we had liberated them.

I detested cages, and the taking of freedom from anyone. I detested the very idea of slaves, and I loved disrupting the trade. I had to admit I enjoyed the Pirate life and I would be saddened to let this all go one-day. However, there would always be a little of a pirate in me, laughing loudly I turned around to yell out at my crew, "Take what you CAN!" A chorus of voice yelled out in response, "GIVE NOTHING BACK!" They always had a good laugh when I said that to them, they thought it was a perfect code to live by.

1672-A little off the Irish Coast

I blinked slowly I couldn't really believe what I was seeing with my own two eyes, when James had come to tell me of the stow-away I had him bring him before me. Even in the pale moonlight there was no doubt in my mind what this man was but the thing that baffled me was his eyes. They were a familiar topaz color I was so familiar with and I just couldn't believe it, even though it was right before my eyes.

In the twenty years I had been a Vampire I had not once met another that was like me and to be presented with one had me thrown. I dismissed James after reassuring him I would be fine and turned to look at the man again. He was taller than me, not a great feat at my five foot four; he was around six foot roughly. He had my pale skin, and eyes like my own. But his hair was the palest blond, almost white and his toned body was easily seen through his fitted clothes. I shifted on the balls of my feet, not entirely sure what I should do now that we were alone.

He looked as stunned to see me as I was to see him and it made me giggle. "So, what's a vampire doing stowed away on a human pirate ship?" I laughed rocking on the balls of my feet as I stared him down. "So what's a vampire doing CAPTAINING a Pirate ship?" He retorted his musical voice light with amusement. "You know you aren't very good at pretending to be human, I'm Bella, and you are?" "I'm Lucas, why would you say that I'm sure I am acceptable." I laughed, "Well you could have fooled me, for one you haven't moved since you were brought here and that definitely isn't human. You should shift around more." He chuckled at me, "Maybe I could use some pointers. So what do you plan on doing with me? Oh, Captain Bella?"

I tilted my head to the side, and pretended I was thinking about it for a while. "I think I'm going to keep you on my ship for a while, so I can teach you how to be a better human," I giggled again, "And you should tell me where your going so I can drop you off when we go there!" He chuckled, "I suppose you do that with all your stow away vampires?" "No, but I do drop off stowaways to where their going every time I encounter one. It has been my experience that when someone stows away on a pirate ship they often have good reason for doing so." He blinked at me this time and shook his head in disbelief.

I could tell I was going to like having Lucas around while he was here, after all it wasn't every day I meet someone so like myself and it was a very liberating experience. I took him to my cabin so we could talk without fear of being overheard and though it was sure to get the men talking I didn't care. He told me his story freely, which surprised me as much as it delighted me. He was made in 1506, definitely a wake-up call for me, and he had been twenty-one when he had been turned.

He had lived in Germany, a farmer near the forests with his rather large family. He was the eldest of eight, and with his parents his family had been counted at an outrageous ten. He had three brothers, four sisters, and a very beautiful mother. He had been very happy with them, and had just begun to build his own home nearby when it happened. He had come home one day to quiet; something that had immediately alerted him to trouble his house was never quiet.

A roaming vampire had awaited him when he got home; he had walked in on her feeding on his youngest sister and had tried to save her. He had failed, the vampire had attacked him but she had been so full of blood by then she did not do the most thorough job before she had left him there to die. He had lain there burning for three full days surrounded by the corpses of his family, and when he had awoken a monster he had been devastated.

He told me how he had buried his family under the oak tree his father had planted, how it was still there, and how he had vowed to never become like the one whom had taken everything from him. He even confided in me how he had tried countless methods to take his life but had failed every time. This was very distressing to hear and I comforted him as best I could. I began to realize the reason he was telling me these things was because I was the first person that could understand.

He avoided other vampires like the plague, never going near them, and he avoided humans to stay away from temptation. I was sad to know how long he had been so alone in the world. I did ask him how he had avoided everyone of our kind so easily; I often smelled them too late to avoid them. He laughed and told me of his gift, he could track anyone, anywhere, and he knew where he or she was before they even knew he was around. I had to ask him why he hadn't avoided me then and his answer puzzled me. He said he hadn't felt me, and couldn't even sense me now.

It was strange but it didn't surprise me as much as I thought it would. I was getting used to being strange, even as a vampire, he called me a shield. I didn't correct him, and didn't enlighten him of my other skills either. I told him a brief summery of how I had gotten here, leaving out Carlisle, the arranged marriage, and my powers out of it. For some reason I didn't want to tell him everything like he had told me, I knew it was unfair but I just couldn't. Carlisle had been my only confidant and some part of my heart would not let me try to replace him in any form.

Still I shared a lot with Lucas, I taught him how to act more human, he taught me how to sketch, I gave him some of my skin cream, and he told me stories of the places he had seen. He became a great friend, he taught me many things and I would be very sad to see him go. However, it wasn't always easy, I began to realize Lucas felt for me differently than I felt for him. I saw him as a great friend, maybe even as a sort of older brother but he hinted at feeling something more. The thought scared me because he wasn't like the other men that had shown interest before.

For one he was a vampire, not a human, and there was a possibility in this that hadn't been present with the others. I would admit the temptation to create a companion that could stay with me was always there but I hadn't ever gone through with it. I never wanted to cause someone that kind of pain and I would not take the life they could have away from him or her. I hoped he would leave soon, I had gotten used to being on my own and I feared if he stayed much longer he would begin to pursue me more actively. I didn't want to hurt him, he was one of the most beautiful people I had ever known but I just didn't feel that way for him. It was going to be a long year.

1680- Just off the Russian shoreline

I looked at my crew's melancholy faces and couldn't help but feel a constricting around my heart looking at them. My little one-man vessel was just off to the side, loaded down with the last of my things and they were begging me not to go. I had to go; I could not stay aboard my beautiful ship any longer it was just too dangerous. I stepped up to Stephan, I cupped his cheek with a gloved hand and he leaned into my touch looking so heartbroken I almost looked away.

I remembered when I had picked him up, a small thirteen-year-old boy aboard a French trader ship and having dreams of being a Captain someday. He had been so eager to join my crew, so eager to learn and he had become one of my constant companions. I had taught him to read, taught him swordplay and how to hold a pistol right. He was probably the closest thing I had to a little brother or a son. I was leaving my ship to him, his dreams of being Captain would come to pass and Destiny's hand was now his but he said he didn't want it.

I loved him dearly, and he loved me just as much. He did not want me to go, did not want me to leave his side even though he was a grown man now at a strong twenty. I sighed and kissed his cheek, wiping away his single tear he couldn't hold in before the others could see it fall. I was going to miss him the most and I thanked Lucas from the depths of my heart for his parting gifts. Lucas was a wonderful artist, a painter, he had done many portraits of me with my crew on Destiny's Hand and my favorite would always be the one where I stood with Stephan in my arms.

He was fourteen in the painting, and I stood behind him with my arms guiding his at the wheel as we steered the ship together. I was very glad to have those moments captured, so that I could look back on them when he was gone from this world. I kissed his forehead and jumped off the ship gracefully landing on my own one-man. They ran to see me off not surprised in the least at my display I was legendary after all. The Pirate Queen, I was something of a mythical figure now and I had even heard rumors that they thought I was a goddess of some kind trapped in human form. Once one of the men had slipped and called me Calypso, I just laughed at it, as it was my own private joke.

I sailed off, to my next adventure and the next journey leaving my crew in capable hands and they called out to me as I faded from view, "Take what you can!" and I shouted back with sadness, "Give nothing back!" Leaving the friends I had made was always hard, but it seemed just a little bit harder this time. I had always been denied any friends, other than Carlisle, growing up and now I made it a goal to make as many as I possibly could. However, I never expected it to be so far letting them go when the time came, and it always did.

I had hoped when I had met Lucas that he could have been a friend I could send eternity with, but that wasn't to be either. He confessed he had feelings for me before he had left my ship but I couldn't tell him what he wanted so badly to hear. I just didn't care for him that way; he was a close friend and nothing more. It made things awkward, especially when we spent time alone together. I didn't want him to think there was something there that wasn't, I didn't want to hurt him at all but when I was in his presence I could tell I did so.

He wanted something from me I couldn't give, and I hated the hurt I saw in his eyes when I told him there could be nothing between us. Lucas was stubborn though, he said he had forever to try to change my mind and while that was flattering it also kept me from spending a long time in his company. Love was not something I was looking for, to be trapped forever with someone was frightening and I didn't like the idea. Marriage was 'till deaths do us part, and when you just didn't die that was a very long time.

Maybe one day I will finally give into him, or some other man and let my heart fall. But I had already decided I was not letting my heart go without a fight, any man who wanted to capture me was in for a surprise. I chuckled as my little boat rocked with the waves comfortingly, truly love was a battle at least when it came to me.

1693-Moscow

I tilted my head to the side, studying Vlad as he tried fruitlessly to struggle out of my hold on him. I giggled at him, as his snarls grew louder as he began to realize I was not going to let him up any time soon. My gift to move things with my mind was extremely entertaining sometimes. Vlad was just too easy though and eventually I let him up from where I had him pinned to the ground. I think I was really beginning to enjoy the full moon almost as much as Vlad does.

We were a very strange pair, Vlad and I, a werewolf and a vampire, we were supposed to be vicious enemies not close friends. It was ironically amusing every time I thought of it. Course it hadn't always been this way, Vlad had wanted nothing to do with me when we first met. He had been living in this tiny village I had just moved to and he was a gruff unsociable blacksmith with a questionable history. The villagers had warned me off him but he had been fascinating to me.

For one he hadn't smelled like a human, he smelled like the forests and freshly turned dirt, earthy and appealing without being edible. I wanted to know what he was; curiosity had always been one of my greatest weaknesses. I made quick friends with everyone and found a job apprenticed to the local healer, Vlad though avoided me. It was very vexing because every time I tried to talk to him he'd escape. The village had gotten a good laugh out of it, huge gruff Vlad running from a pretty little girl but hadn't been amused.

I got him cornered one day and just asked him very bluntly if he wanted to tell me what he was so that I could leave him alone. He had been stunned enough to actually reply that he was a werewolf, but then it was my turn to be surprised when he asked the same of me. I tilted my head to the side and said very brightly that I was an animal-drinking Vampire, thank you very much. He had laughed uproariously at that, and had said he didn't think I was a vampire.

Now that got my interest and I had to question him further on that of course. What he told me was startling to say the least, he had met other vampires and he said they had smelt nothing like me. I apparently smelled nice, like strawberries and wild flowers, natural almost. Other vampires smelled too sweet to him like too much sugar mixed with ice, cold and too sweet smell. I wondered why I smelled different, of course, but neither of us found an answer to that question as of yet.

After that it was an odd sort of friendship, we'd help each other hide our obvious inhumanity and learned much from one another. I would control him during the full moon, keeping him from hurting any humans and he would help me work on my gifts. Slowly, I helped him learn to control his transformation so that they were voluntary not forced and we grew closer. We even left together when the time came to leave that village.

Vlad was a lone wolf, so to speak, so I became his 'pack' and he became the companion I had wanted for so long. We'd been together for twelve years nearly now but I knew that soon I would need to leave him. Vlad loved me like a sister, as I loved him like a brother, but he also wanted to start a pack one day. No self-respecting female werewolf would go near him with me so near; they would consider it stealing my mate even though we weren't that way. I needed to leave, maybe next week, because I knew that Marina had caught his eye. Vlad was too shy to approach her though, and she didn't want to make a move if I was there in case I did have some hold on Vlad.

I liked Marina; she was fiery and kind, tough enough to keep Vlad in line when he stepped over his bounds. She was a good friend to me and even though she never asked of my relationship to him I knew she wondered. Marina was too kind to make a move for him with me here, so I would get out of the picture and push her in the right direction. Hopefully once I was gone they'd finally get together and make each other happy.

I couldn't make them happy if I stayed, no matter how much I wanted to stay with my gruff funny Vlad I could not stand his way to happiness. I would be lonely again, but I would just have to find some humans friends again. I found it was getting ridiculously easy to make lasting friends with people; they were becoming less and less standoffish now. I think it had something to do with my improving skin cream and my growing ability to appear more human. This made me happy, maybe I would go to Ireland this time I hadn't been there in years.

1701-Russia's border

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me and using all of my concentration to use my gift to propel me forward faster than my legs could carry me. I was more than a blur to even vampire eyes, fast, so fast I had managed to get three fourths of the way there without fully realizing it. However it still wasn't fast enough for me and in my desperation I tried something that I had been contemplating for some time. My feet lifted from the ground and suddenly I was flying through the air faster than before.

I was never so grateful to have my gift to move things with my mind than I was just then. I was flying, flying but I didn't enjoy the moment I was too worried to dwell on the thought of flight. I had to get there, I had to save him, save them before it was too late and they were gone forever. If I had a beating heart I'm sure it would be going a mile a minute right now I was so worried. I had heard a vicious rumor just two hours ago, Caius, was after the children of the moon.

He was out in force to kill them all but I couldn't allow something like that to happen. I had to get to Vlad, I hadn't seen him in eight years but I had remained in contact. His little family had grown, he had a beautiful baby now, and he had a true pack filled with Marina, his son Joseph, his brother-in-law and his family. No to mention the odd wonderer, who joined, making his pack a total of sixteen strong and though I was proud of him their size made them one of the first targets.

They didn't know what was coming; death was tingling at my ear, saying I better hurry because he was on their doorstep. I shot through the air so fast I almost missed their little gathering place. I cried out in relief when I saw I wasn't too late, they were alive, all of them and they were fine. For now, immediately I found Vlad, towering over his pack laughing loudly when he spotted me speeding towards him. I tackled him to the ground, embracing him tightly and sobbing dryly into his chest.

"Shhh, Bells, what's wrong?" He soothed my back and I pulled myself together quickly I had to get them away from here. Away from Russia, away from Europe, I had to hide them away in the new world away from Caius' bloodthirsty eyes. "WE need to leave, NOW! Gather everyone, take only what you can carry, we have to get away from here!" I was nearly hysterical but they understood my urgency. Vlad immediately ordered them to do so, Marina only gathered up their cute little three-year old boy into her arms and stood waiting for my direction.

"What's going on Bella?" "I need to get you away from here, Caius is coming, he has a vendetta against your kind he's been killing as many as he can. He heard of your pack, he's coming, you need to be gone when he gets here!" I was nearly panicking by the end and hurriedly pushing him onward. "Where will we go?" bless him he wasn't arguing with me, I had been so frightened he would want to stay and fight. I would have stayed with him had that been the case and though the very thought made me feel sick I would have defended him. I would have HURT them to SAVE Vlad, I would have never forgiven myself if we had lived but I would still have done so. Bless him for not driving me to do that. "I have a ship waiting for us near the border, it'll take you to the New World, I'll stay to cover our tracks. You need to get away from here, I'll deal with Caius if he shows his face here before I've finished."

He froze in his tracks; the whole pack froze, turning to stare at me, some who didn't know me looked at me with wonder and confusion in their eyes. "Bells, I can't leave you alone like that…you could die," he sounded so pained and he reached for me as if to keep me beside him. "Yes, yes you can, I didn't risk everything just so you could die! You have a baby to think about, you have your family, and I have no one and nothing. If I am to die I would much rather it be in the place of someone I love. You WILL GO Vlad, you will go, you will live and you will be happy. If I live out this day I'll find you again but for now you need to leave me here, leave me and save your pack!" I was angry, couldn't he see he would die; they all would die if they stayed?

He looked so stricken I regretted yelling at him, I walked up to him and cupped his cheek with my cold hand, "Let me do this for you Vlad, let me be the one they take if someone must die today. I'd rather it be me than your pack…your family." He looked so torn but he did start to run with me again to the border and their salvation. I left him halfway there with parting direction and a soft, "it's worth everything I have to save you".

1717-Aboard the Duchess sailing towards Africa

I looked out at the sparkling clear water in wonder, really I would never get tired of the sight of it. It would seem being a pirate for a time instilled a love of the sea that would never leave me; I was relieved that I had finally managed to get word to Vlad. I had found him hiding in the new world, near the furthest end that hadn't been colonized yet. I had loved the time I spent with them; Joseph had been an adorable pup. Still I knew I wasn't ready to stay still for so long so here I am running away again. I guess I'm just too used to being alone to stay in the company of others like me for long.

I was heading back to Egypt, there was treasure to be found there and though I was already plenty wealthy form my pirating days I loved shiny things. It was probably something carried over from my Pirate Queen days also, the treasure obsession. I didn't even really spend it; I just hoarded it like a dragon of old. Still I wanted to see the sands of Egypt again, something about that place enchanted me. After that, maybe I'd make my way to China again for some silks and some more ideas on how to improve my skin cover cream.

That and their ways of fighting fascinated me, not the violence of it but the beauty of it. Their styles were so beautiful last time I witnessed it, like a dance really more than a way of fighting. I loved their code too, only fight as a last resort and to defend not to harm. That was something I could get behind. Egypt first though, I wanted to see those pyramids again and the beautiful Nile. I had to admit that the lions might be tempting me too, after all their blood wasn't nearly as bad as some animals.

I giggled, thinking back on my journeys, I had wanted to see the world when I was a girl and now I had seen it twice over. Still, I wanted to see more, learn more, do more, it was never enough to stay still for too long. It was like I was searching for something I hadn't been able to find yet. I leaned out against the railings, paying no mind to the sailor's warnings against doing so, the sea breeze lifted my hair and I was tempted to go flying.

Since my frantic first flight I had found there was no other greater joy to me so far than flying above the clouds where even birds could not reach. There was something amazing about seeing the earth literally spread out before you, like a beautiful painting or a heart-breaking melody. It took my unnecessary breath away every time and there was nothing that could compare to the feeling of being so free. It was like nothing could touch me, nothing could cage me, and nothing could capture me. I laughed loudly, drawing some eyes, the breeze whipped my dress and hair around me. I'm sure I was a sight, still I couldn't help but laugh. After all it wasn't every day that a bird discovers its wings.

1764-London

I sat there with my eyes closed, just listening; truly this boy was amazing…a real genius. I had learned many things the last century or so, playing the piano was just one of the many things. However, I never composed my own work, I never knew where to begin and though I immensely enjoyed making music I was afraid I didn't have the talent for original creations. I was glad I had connection so I could meet the boy, Mozart, I was sure history was not likely to forget him anytime soon. I certainly wouldn't. I smiled as his wonderful playing ended and the room filled with silence. I walked up to him, I couldn't help myself, I shouldn't but I had to. I laid a daintly-gloved hand on his shoulder and turned him to me.

He looked as stunned to see me as any boy would after being so absorbed in his music, and he looked a little dazed. I was a sight, in a rich silk dress, and pearls, hair pulled up in a flowing bun and a butterfly pin in my hair. I hardly ever dressed up, I didn't like the attention it brought me but for this I had done so. After all it wasn't every day you stood in front of genius. I smiled brightly and a glazed look entered his eyes, I often wondered why men reached so when I smiled at them. Still I just giggled softly and kissed him briefly on his cheek whispering, "You are brilliant" in his ear before I left the room gracefully.

I probably had caused quite a stir with my little display but there was nothing to do for it. After all the private party was filled with London's finest and they always talked. I was leaving tonight anyways, let them talk; I was used to attention and even with how I disliked it so I was used to it. Like when you get used to horrid medicine but have to deal with it anyways. I was going to find Lucas soon, I hadn't seen him for over a decade and should check up on him soon.

He wasn't as good at handling the loneliness as I was, and even though I didn't want to hurt him I did know I should at least try to comfort him for a time. He stilled tried to court me when we were together, but I had yet to be swayed. I wouldn't let go of my heart without a fight and Lucas hadn't won this battle yet. Sometimes I wondered why I didn't love him, he truly was a beautiful man inside and out. He was kind, gentle, compassionate, and extremely attractive. In fact I had yet to see anyone as pretty as Lucas yet, vampire or not, and this disturbed me.

Maybe there was something wrong with me, he really was the perfect man, such a gentleman and so…beautiful, still I didn't feel for him. He tried to sway me, with gentle words, and gifts. He tried so hard to with my love and affection it hurt me to see him so enamored to with me. I didn't want to hurt him, yet every time I made it clear I didn't feel so for him he still tried. I didn't like hurting his feelings, which was why I never stayed more than two years in his company before heading off again. I sighed; I loved him as a friend but not as a lover. I wanted to see him happy, but I just wished it wasn't with me that he sought happiness from.

1776-America

I ran lightly through the forest deftly jumping through the branches making it more challenging just for the fun of it. I had finally managed to track him down, Lucas was always hard to find but it was getting ridiculous trying to find him. He didn't need to build his house a good 200 miles from any humans but he does. Still I wanted to see him, it's been years and I missed his company. I wanted to spend some time catching up before I headed off to see the southern continent. The Caribbean was always entertaining and it brought back memories.

I broke through the last of the trees and came upon Lucas' gorgeous home, he was an artist after all it only made sense he made his home a work of art. Even in the dead of winter with snow piled up and the vegetation gone it was breath taking. I was taking a moment to admire his work when I heard the terrible screaming start. Frightened for my friend I rushed the last leg to his house I help. I burst through his door and followed the screams to a room upstairs.

I flung the door open and I couldn't make sense of the scene I found there, Lucas was standing at the end of a bed staring at the screaming boy in it. I rushed to the boy's side, whoever he was he was in bad shape. His legs and arms were frostbitten. There was a large gash on his side I could see his ribs poking out from under his skin but it wasn't until I saw the bite mark on his arm that I knew what happened.

I looked up at Lucas in shock, I couldn't believe it, and his face was so tormented I immediately engulfed him in my arms to comfort him. He had done the only thing he could to save this boy, and he had cursed him to this existence at least that's how Lucas would see it. Lucas considered our lives cursed, I didn't I considered it a gift that came at a high price. After all had I not been turned I wouldn't have done all the amazing things I have, or met so many wonderful people. The boy was screaming again and it brought back horrible memories of burning. I winced in sympathy. I ran my fingers through Lucas' silky white hair and whispered, "You did nothing wrong".

I gently let him go and went back to the boy's side as he screamed out his pain. I took off my gloves and placed my cold hand on his burning head. He immediately quieted and I knew what I had to do to at least comfort him in his burning time. Cautiously I lifted him up and slid in beneath him lying down so he was cradled in my arms. I spoke gently to him, running my hand through his hair and trying to engulf him in my cool embrace to ease some of his pain.

I stayed that way for hours, sometimes talking to him about Lucas, sometimes singing him songs, or telling him tales of the open seas. I whispered in his ear about the life he had to look forward to with Lucas to guide him. The boy had rich brown hair, and strong features. He was probably no more than nineteen, a soldier, a blue coat, and he would help Lucas in his loneliness when I wasn't around. For that I thanked him silently in my mind for that gift, I often worried for Lucas so, and with this boy he could make a family.

Lucas would wonder in every so often, leaving the boy in my care but he never said a word just looked at him dejectedly. I wanted to comfort him but the boy needed me here. When he came in on the second day, looking so heartbroken I could take it no longer and spoke out to him hoping to ease his mind. I laughed gently running a hand through the boy's hair as he whimpered, "So Lucas you finally decided to get a son? What's with all my friends giving me sons?" I laughed at his stunned face it would seem he hadn't thought of the boy like that. "Well, he IS your FAMILY now, silly man, you made him so he's your son!" I said brightly.

He looked like he had just swallowed a lemon whole, "Well it's true you're going to take care of him, guide him, teach him, and since you haven't gotten a wife yet I'll just have to be his stand-in mom!" I giggled and cooed at the boy in my arms trying to break through Lucas' melancholy with my antics. He looked to be considering my words so I went in for the kill, "besides I need to be here to help you control your newborn! Wouldn't want him going crazy on human blood now do we?" Lucas finally nodded and spoke back, "Too true, he is my son now however unexpected it is," he left then. I knew he was going to go paint something, that's what he always did when he had to get something like this out. I sighed rocking the half-healed boy in my arms and I whispered in his arms, "You should wake up soon so I can learn your name silly boy."

Nathaniel, that was his name, he woke up on the third day thirsty and craving blood, human blood to be exact. I was glad I had the power to hold him back, to stop him from doing something he would regret later. The first year was hard on him, but as I grew to love him as a surrogate son he grew to learn to control his hunger. Still I wanted to stay, the three of us had a great time, we hunted, laughed, we were a family. It wasn't nearly as awkward with Lucas with Nathaniel there to act as a buffer between us.

I taught him how to carve, something I had picked up a few years ago, I taught him how to dance and how to properly hold a sword. It really was like having a son, I stopped him when the smell of a human was too much and I soothed him when he was upset. Lucas taught him too, telling him of all he had learned, and where he had traveled. I regaled him with tales of Africa and hunting lionesses. It was a happy time for me, I stayed with them for three years, and it was the longest I had ever stayed with Lucas. Still, when one day Nathaniel didn't need me to stay his hand around a human I knew it was time I left. It saddened me to leave them but I was no longer needed. I thought it was time I explore that Amazon rainforest I had been hearing so much about. Nathaniel and Lucas begged me to stay but I would not be swayed. It hurt to go, and I guessed I would need to get used to being alone again.