Title: This Sesshoumaru
Author: SkyFire (IJ: rabid_plotbunny)

Rating: PG
Summary: The real reason Sesshoumaru talks about himself in the third person.
Warnings: crack!fic

Disclaimer: I don't own Sesshoumaru or any of the other IY characters, and no money is being made.

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Sesshoumaru walked down the familiar hallways of his home, outwardly impassive as always yet on the inside glad to be back. He'd sent Jaken and Rin away almost as soon as they had entered the gates, also as usual, then continued on toward his quarters.

The barrier around the family section of the palace let him pass without protest though he knew it would keep out all who were not family and fry those who were stupid enough to try again after the first warning. The moment he had passed the barrier his nose was filled with his own scent, along with lingering traces of his father and mother.

That day had seen yet another encounter between himself and that uncouth mutt, InuYasha. Blows were given and taken on both sides, as were the usual barbed taunts (on his part) and yelled curses (on InuYasha's). Between that and Jaken, he was more than ready to retire to his bed.

That day InuYasha had actually had the nerve to mock him, as if a mongrel like him had any right to look down on anything Sesshoumaru did. He'd even had the nerve to laugh at him. And all for what? Sesshoumaru's speech patterns. More specifically, the way he always referred to himself as 'This Sesshoumaru'. InuYasha had the gall to laugh and ask 'What's up with that, huh? Are there more Sesshoumarus running around being pain-in-the-asses?'

Secure in the knowledge that he was safe behind the family barrier and that there were no prying eyes Sesshoumaru permitted himself a small smirk, golden eyes gleaming with amusement.

He reached the doorway to his quarters. He slid the panel open then went in, closing it again behind him. He pulled off the thick fur and lay it down on its special hook. The armor was next, coming off and getting put neatly away on its stand. His clothing he let lie where it hit the floor for only a moment before his near-obsessive need for an uncluttered living area made him pick it up and put it in the basket for washing.

Absently he pulled on a waiting sleeping robe before he walked over to the bed, pulled back the covers, then crawled in. Almost immediately he found himself wrapped in several arms and pulled further in, to be wrapped in warmth and comfort even as he felt other limbs tangle with his own.

Warm and comfortable in the tangle of limbs as no one who knew him as the cold Lord of the Western Lands would ever believe him capable of, Sesshoumaru allowed himself to slowly drift off to sleep, joining his six identical littermates - also called Sesshoumaru - in slumber. He'd done his day, and his next rotation wouldn't be for another seven days.

He sometimes wondered how it was that no one had ever guessed that there was more than one of him. It wouldn't take that much of a stretch of the imagination. Didn't they know that dogs had entire litters, not just single pups?

And yet no one had ever figured it out, or even come close, until InuYasha's taunts only that day. Of all the people he had contact with - from the highest demon Lords to the lowest human vassal, how could it be that only his filthy hanyou half-brother had ever thought of it, even if it was only as a joke?

A mental shrug then he pushed the thoughts away.

Much more satisfying was the mental image of InuYasha's reaction should he bring his littermates along on one of the run-ins with the hanyou. All of them had fought the mutt at one time or another and he was sure that none of them would want to miss the sight of the dog-eared boy's face when they all walked out of the woods and greeted him, especially the Sesshoumaru that now had only one arm thanks to that mutt.

On that pleasant note Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and let himself slip into a slumber filled with the images of one bewildered, sputtering, cursing InuYasha.

END