I decided to do something completley out of my element and sad. It ddn't come out great but I still was crying at parts. It's so fricking long as well!! Hope you enjoy it and please, please review...
Songs i listened to were: Run- Leona Lewis, If tomorrow never comes-Gareth Brooks, Trouble Coldplay, Us against the World-Westlife
It had come true. The nightmare I had when I was eighteen, where I was withered and beaten, old. Dying. I moaned as I rolled over in the bed, bones groaning in protest as I tried to get up.
I was now eighty three years old and Edward and the other Cullen's were all the same age. I watched them enviously as they stayed with me through out, never aging while I slowly and painfully grew older. It felt like it had simply happened over night. One day I was laughing, loving, living and youthful and now I almost wished for death. I hated the fragile old woman I had become. My face bent into so many creases and winkles that clung to my brittle bones, my sunken cheeks, chapped lips and the mop of white hair that replaced my once chocolate brown.
I ground my teeth together as I grabbed a hold of the bedside table, on Edward's side of the bed. I dragged my body across the silk sheets. Despite my urge to get out of the bed, the one that I was confined to, I smiled a wrinkly little smile, a smirk really.
Memories of my wedding night drifted to the front of my mind and I could almost feel the same butterflies fluttering in my stomach with anticipation and nerves. I shivered slightly at the memory of how our bodies moulded together for the first time of many. I remember every kiss and touch that I was gifted with.
I stayed for a moment reminiscing before giving a sharp jerk to the table, finally getting to the side of the bed. I kicked at the silky sheets, which were wrapped around my emaciated legs, holding me prisoner. I choose again not to call out for help, hating how they looked at me, pitying and unbearably sympathetic. I slowly came up to sit at the side of my bed. Reaching up, I withdrew a pin from my bun at the back of my head and slowly shook out my hair, so it tumbled to my waist.
"Bella? Bella, are you okay? You should have called me," Edward said hurriedly, walking through the bedroom door, looking anxious and worried, a expression I had become accustomed to over the last thirty years, or so. I smiled weakly and picked my head up to look at him.
Even after sixty six years looking at a reincarnation of a long forgotten pagan god of beauty I never could adjust. I was much more than grateful I still had my eyesight and my hearing as many people my age had lost it, along with their minds. His hair was in gorgeous disarray; his features were contorted with worry, a slight pucker on his forehead. My heart gave a unsurprising somersault and my breathing picked up.
"I'm old Edward. Not a child that consists of being babied by everyone," I sighed, my sour mood quickly evaporating into annoyance. Edward smiled sheepishly, flitting to my side.
"I know, love. It's just Alice saw you fall," he whispered, brushing a bang of white hair behind my ear. I let out an uneven breath and blinked back tears, blushing furiously. I knew what he was implying. If I had fallen I would not have gotten up again.
"Edward it's going to happen sooner or later," I stated, caressing his face with a skeletal hand. He shook his head in defiance, not wanting to think about it. I knew he would take it hard, what he would do. I knew what I had to do also and I had told Emmett and Jasper, made them promise me. I smiled deciding not to push it on him.
"I made you breakfast," he murmured, grabbing my hand and pressing it to his lips, kissing them lightly. I shook my head, wondering how he could bear kissing me.
"I'm not hungry," I said, disgust filling me as a thought of a young woman, in her thirties had praised Edward for taking his grandmother out to breakfast once. She was hitting on him, while he scoffed, holding up his hand that was burdened with a golden band. I hadn't gone out since.
"Bella, you need to eat," He said softly, his velvet voice laced with affection and worry.
"I'm not hungry, Edward," I replied in a whisper, too wary and tired to snap or at least lace it with the smallest tint of anger. He pressed his lips together in a hard thin line, stopping himself from arguing it further.
"Would you call Carlisle and Esme? Maybe you could call Jasper and Alice if they aren't busy. Don't bother calling Emmett and Rose. I don't want to ruin they're honeymoon. I want to say goodbye before…..." I was cut off by a vicious cough that spewed through my lips.
"What do mean? Before what exactly, Bella?" Edward demanded as soon as my breathing had returned to normal. I rolled my eyes and watched before his face quickly turned into the burning man on the stake. I couldn't help it. It had become an instinct to protect Edward from all pain, like he protected me from anything that put my life in danger.
Tears spurted though my eyes and I flew into his arms, knowing I would pay later for it. I wrapped my arms around his form and knew he would be crying if he could. I rested my check on his hair and pulled him into my chest.
"Shush, Edward. It's okay," I lied but all I wanted to do was comfort him, conceal his pain, make him happy once more before I left him in this earth, left him with only the protection his family would provide but knowing him he'd exile himself first then get a silly notion before running of to Italy. That's why I had made Emmett and Jasper promise that they would stop him. He deserved to live.
"Edward, listen to me. Whether I'm in this world or another I will always, always love you and never forget that. When you're here long after I'm gone just remember that," I murmured, making sure I emphasised certain words.
Edward looked up and stared helplessly into my eyes. An ancient sadness that I hardly ever saw was now startling. I pressed my lips against his forehead, feeling the hardness, the smooth texture beneath my lips and least important the coldness.
"You, Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, are the single best thing that has ever happened to me. Not because you're the most handsome person I have ever seen nor the fact you are the all time forbidden love or because you're rich," I gave him a watery smile as he watched me, sobs breaking from his chest. His sadness was like millions of daggers stabbing at my heart all at once. I knew he would have tried to hide his raw emotion from me long ago but now I was old, more understanding and worst of all I had no hope left.
"But the fact you have the most beautiful soul I have ever, ever seen. You, you are the reason I'm still fighting, the reason I'll fight until my last breath. You brought me to life sixty six years ago and I have never looked back, not once. Not even a single glance. That is why I'm so proud to call you my husband," Like a child his bottom lip quivered and he flung himself, gently into my arms.
We stayed just holding each other until there was a loud knock on the front door. Edward looked up and gave me a crooked smile not quiet reaching his beautiful butterscotch eyes that were riddled with sadness.
"Come in," he said in an even voice, staring at my confused face and lowly he let out a slight chuckle. I smiled in response and watched as my family burst through my bedroom. Alice was the first to reach me with tears in her eyes, ones that would never fall. She roughly pushed Edward out of the way and wrapped her small granite arms around me.
"Alice," I breathed, my voice thick with sadness and tears but held an underlying hint of happiness at seeing my pixie best friend. She gave me a gentle squeeze, as I let out a sob. That's when it hit. Not only was I loosing Edward when I left but my family.
I nuzzled my face into the crook of her neck and smothered a moan as one of my bones creaked. I repressed a shudder at the coldness of her skin. I realized I wasn't the only one who was sobbing and that we were both shaking.
"No," I hissed sourly as Alice pouted in front of me. I glowered at her makeup bag that was safely tucked under her arm.
"Aw, Bella! Don't you want to look pretty for your birthday?" Alice asked with a radiant smile. I pressed my lips together, ignoring her. I was in the Cullen's new house. Edward and the others were out hunting and Alice had pounced at the idea of babysitting me.
"No Alice. I don't even want to think about it. For the love of all things good would you want to celebrate your thirtieth when your husband is forever seventeen, but is too stubborn to change me?" I snapped angrily. Alice seemed unfazed by my bad mood.
I knew like the other Cullen's, Alice had verbally wrestled with Edward about my immortality.
"Please?" She whispered softly, looking up at me through insanely long eyelashes.
"Fine," I let out an exasperated sigh before she dragged me into her bathroom.
"You're my best friend, Bella," She laughed, kissing me on the cheek
I instantly felt a wave of pain and then it was quickly soothed. I looked up over Alice's shoulder and smiled wearily at Jasper, who was leaning uncomfortably up against the wall.
Over many years with me Jasper had finally conquered bloodlust. He was still most tempted but now he rarely noticed. He could be surrounded by humans and act humane. Our relationship had grown vastly over our six decades around each other.
"Hello, soldier," I joked, feeling numb from all pain. His face looked like he had been through hell in the car and long before that. He bottom lip twitched and I winked, laughing dryly.
"I'm sorry, Bella," he said simply, giving me a sympathetic smile.
"It's not you fault, Jas," I sighed, waving my hand, dismissively. "Just keep that promise," I added in a more serious tone.
"With my life," He promises solemnly and I knew I could count on him along with my teddy bear brother-in-law.
"What promise?" Edward asked suddenly, emerging into my sight again to stand beside Jasper. I had also made them promise to block him in case he got a glimpse of their idea.
Alice pulled back and wiped her eyes, she sat to my side on the bed as Carlisle and Esme emerged and them half an hour later Rosalie and Emmett, who had cut their honeymoon short. I hated it. Being centre of attention once gain, causing them all grief once again. Apparently Alice had seen me ask Edward to call them and took it upon herself.
Edward was quiet through it all. He was quiet through the tears and sobs and the endless teasing from Emmett who was also crying, a rare sight to anyone. But I felt it in my bones. My time was drawing to a close. The show was over, and with it my performance remembered.
"Say hello to Charlie and Renee," Alice chuckled, making me smile in remembrance. In truth I was looking forward to some of my afterlife. Seeing my parents was the main one. Old friends and relatives, being reunited with them.
"Of course," I said, smiling up at her and turning to Rosalie who my relationship also had improved with. I counted her now as a friend, a sister and knew she counted me as one also.
I looked over to see Edward exit and knowing him this was proving too real, too much. I swallowed loudly and shifted out from Alice and Esme's arms.
"Could you guys give me some time? And get Edward. I want him. I need him with me," I said slowly, deliberate. Emmett nodded and bumped his large hand softly against my fragile one, gave me a hug and a kiss. Promising to see me again soon but I knew I would never see his face again, hear him joke or watch him fight. Esme kissed me and hugged my narrow shoulders, along with Carlisle, Rosalie, Jasper but Alice lingered until last.
"I'll never see you again," she whispered, averting her eyes from my crumpled face. I shook my head, watching as my old friend for the first time showed her old age. I watched as she simply broke down in front of me.
"I'll be watching over you, Ali," I chuckled, making her grimace at my accepting state.
"Whenever you go shopping with Rose or Esme I'll be there whispering for you to pick out the most ugly thing in the store," I said, my voice composed but even to my own ears it had too much off a forced edge to it.
"Don't say goodbye," she swallowed loudly, getting up. I nodded, knowing it would prove too much for both of us. She blew a kiss and turned to walk for the door. I watched her helplessly with tears in my eyes as she stopped in the doorway.
"You'll always be my best friend, Bella, always" She whispered until flitting out of the room.
"I didn't think you'd come," I stated, never opening my eyes as I lied back down, resting my tired heavy head on the feather soft pillows. The bed on the other side of me sunk and my eyes fluttered open.
"I always come, Bella," he whispered in my ear, kissing my temple. I smiled so much even at the sincerity of his words that my mouth hurt from the light skin being stretched too far over the bone.
"Bella, I love you," he said in a low voice that made my head squeeze uncomfortably. I laughed. The sound was delicate, so breakable. He pulled me up so I was lying across his chest, my arms draped across his torso.
"Just like when we were eighteen," I cried mournfully. He chuckled in response, wiping the tears away with his thumb.
"Charlie is going to wake up soon," he whispered making my giggle and for one moment I could forget, forget appending death. I wanted to. I wanted to be eighteen again, enjoying my young love, old friends, Angela and Mike, Jessica and Eric, who had long ago passed on.
"I love you Edward," I sobbed and he smiled back in response. I could see right then and there. He had finally accepted it and wished he had chosen to change me when I had asked to.
He began to hum my lullaby in my ear, the sound soothing other than some parts where his beautiful voice broke in sadness. I looked up into his eyes and smiled for the last time, took a look at his face for the last time, listened to him for the last time. I leaned back and took a large breath, my slowly heartbeat ringing painfully loud in my ear.
"I love you more, my stupid lamb," Was the last thing I heard before I closed my eyes and fell asleep for the last time being pulled into an unfamiliar darkness.