Hi everyone! I am so sorry that it's been so long, but my computer broke and I almost lost all my files! As you can obviously tell my dad's amazing tech guy was able to extract them from my hard-drive! Technology is EVIL… I am very sorry for the delay!
I ran into the house. I could not believe that Edward had the nerve to dredge up our past that way! Just out of the blue! And then expect me to sit down and have a full conversation about it. The nerve! Fumbling with my keys, I finally unlocked the door and rushed into the house, more eager to be away from him than to be out in the cold.
I threw off my heavy rain-coat, not even bothering to hang it up and kicked off my shoes. Leaving them all in a wet pile I raced up the narrow stair case and made it to my bedroom without a single bruise. I guess panic helps the uncoordinated. Digging through my backpack, I unearthed my cell phone and quickly punched in "5", Angela's speed dial.
"Hey Bells!" Angela said, answering my call.
"Hey, Ang. I'm really sorry to bother you now but I need some serious girl talk. Are you busy?"
"Of course I'm not busy, Bella! Just go ahead and start talking. When you're finished let me know and we'll talk." Angela was the best listener I knew, always patient and never turning the conversation to herself.
"Okay, so you know how Edward drives me home from play practice?" Angela "um-hmed" in response. "Well today I get in the car and I just start thinking about everything that happened between us freshman year, the way he totally dropped me. And he must have been thinking about that too because when we pull up at my house he tells me how sorry and how stupid he is and that he wants to talk. 'Talk' he said, as if that could ever fix the past! And now, now I'm so confused and I just don't know what to say. Heck, I don't even know what I should feel. Should I be happy that he's back? Should I be pissed that he thinks all those years of hurt are going to just go away?"
After a few minutes Angela began to speak, she never rushed these things and always took her time to give me the best advice she could.
"Look, Bella, I'm just going to tell you the way that I see things based off of what you've told me and what I've personally observed." Angela, ever the scholar. "You and Edward were both thinking about that year back in the car because you both regret it. And Edward, he doesn't think that it's all going away. At least not as far as I can tell. He knows that what happened then will never go away and he can never ask you to forget. All he can do is ask you to move forward with him because like it or not those things did happen and they shaped you as people."
"Angela Weber, thank you!" I exclaimed into the phone. "And you are going to make the world's best psychologist!"
Laughing, we both spent another half hour or so discussing books and gossiping. Hey, even the nerds like a bit of gossip on occasion.
"Did you hear that Mr. Southerland likes Miss Boechline?" Angela asked me, completely catching me off guard.
"You're kidding!" I exclaimed. "He like-likes her?"
"Yup!" she told me, proudly popping the 'p'. "But he won't ask her out, he's too shy."
"Wow," I gasped, I just never saw Miss Boechline dating anyone. She was just a teacher to me. But then again, I could definitely see her with Mr. Southerland.
"I know!" Angela giggled. "It's so shallow, but they'd be incredibly cute together."
"Ang," I replied, laughing at the thought, "You could never be shallow! You're the smartest person I know."
"I wonder if all the other kids think about us like this," Angela puzzled.
"Think of us like what?" I asked, confused.
"Like two giggling teenage girls gossiping about random stuff."
"Probably not," I replied, giggling harder at the thought. "They probably assume we talk for hours about trig and calculus."
"Yes, Bella I've been dying to know where you got that amazing calculator," Angela teased.
"I got it at that new math supply store at the Port Angeles Mall, its right next door to the Borders."
"Did you just make fun of a book store?" Angela asked me in shock.
I was considered the school bookworm. "I guess I did," I replied.
"Will wonders never cease?"
Hearing a car pull into the driveway, I glanced at the clock and gasped. It was five o'clock. I had to cook supper for Charlie and myself and finish all of my AP homework.
"Ugh, Ang I've gotta go," I grumbled into the phone.
"I figured," she replied, chuckling a little. "But I expect a full report about your decision with Edward tomorrow. And remember, give him a chance. I think you both deserve it."
"Thanks again," I said, gratefully.
"No problem. Bye Bella."
I hung up the phone and pulled out my school planner, carefully planning my evening. An hour for calculus, a half hour to memorize some Romeo and Juliet lines, forty-five minutes for physics, and twenty minutes on a history paper. I finished the history paper quickly and then raced down the stairs to start dinner. Charlie looks up, startled from the corner where he was murmuring into the phone.
"Look, I've gotta go now. Please don't call here again," he tried to whisper, but I heard him anyway.
"Dad, who is that?" I asked, though I had a feeling I knew who it was.
"No one," Charlie blundered. "Wrong number. So, um, what're you making for dinner?"
"I was thinking spaghetti and meatballs tonight, I have a lot of work," I said, allowing him to change the subject.
We went through our evening routine that night, same as always. I made dinner, which we ate in silence. Then Charlie turned the TV onto ESPN and I hurried upstairs to finish up my schoolwork. At exactly nine o'clock a got into the shower. Afterwards, I wrung my hair out and pulled it into a messy ponytail on the top of my head. My flannel pajama bottoms and oversized t-shirt were cozy, though not something I would be caught dead in. I settled into my bed, a warm glow cast over me from my reading lamp, and began to read and relax. Being a girl who clung to her routines, I put my book down at promptly ten o'clock and turned off my lights. Pulling the covers over me, I tried to get warm again.
I must have fallen asleep, because an hour later sleet tapping against my window violently jerked my from my dreams. I found myself walking towards the window. Oddly enough for Forks, it was not raining outside. Instead Edward Cullen was standing beneath my window, throwing pebbles at it.
Irrationally, I felt so angry at him. Looking back on it, I should have felt touched, but at the time I was simply angry. I jerked my window open and glared down at him.
"What are you doing here?" I hissed at him, rubbing my sore wrist, in my anger I had forgotten the cast on my arm.
He looked up at me, his eyes holding a determination that I had never seen before. "Please Bella," he begged, looking adorably retentive. "We need to talk. I-I-I can't let our friendship fall apart again. Not after I finally got you back. Whatever you're afraid of, just tell me. I'll take care of it, I promise."
More and more anger filled me. He had the audacity to come to my house, beg my forgiveness and pretend to not know what I feared. I couldn't take it anymore.
"You want to know why I'm holding back, Edward? Do you really want to know?" I asked in my most acidic tone.
Edward didn't notice for he continued gazing up at me. "Yes," he murmured, "More than anything Bella. Please tell me."
"Fine, I'm afraid of you, Edward. Three years ago, you destroyed me. And I only just got myself back. I can't be totally open to you because I'm afraid of what you'll do to me all over again."
"Alright," Edward said, a smile breaking out over his face. "That's not as bad as I thought. I can change, Bella. I'll promise you that I will never again hurt you and we can be friends again."
"No, Edward," I said, tears rolling down my cheeks. "You can't change. No one can change so completely."
With those words echoing through the air, I slammed my window shut and sank to the ground sobbing.
"Bella! Bella! Bella!" I heard Edward shouting from the yard. I didn't have the energy to warn him about Charlie, who burst into my room waving a baseball bat above his head.
"Bella, sweetheart, what's going on?" Charlie panted, when he saw me on the floor.
"Nothing dad," I whispered. "Just…girl stuff. Please, can we just leave it at that?"
The 'girl stuff' line always worked wonders on my dad, immediately he began nodding violently and changed the subject.
"And Cullen on the front lawn?"
"Just leave it, he'll be gone soon enough."
Nodding, Charlie gave me a kiss goodnight and left. However, he pointedly left the bat in my room.
Okay, so what do you think? Was Bella's reaction justified? Yet again, I'm sorry it took so long, but I will update ASAP! Please please please please please review!