Confessions from a Desperate Emo Heart
Warning: Shounen-ai between the characters Sasuke and Naruto. Pointless story. XD
Contents: Surprising topping. XD Err…a high percentage of usage of the word fuuuuuc…
Sasuke tilted his head to revise each sentence on the written paper. One tilt. Two tilts. Approaching the narrowing eyes.
Konoha, xx of xxxxxx of the year xxxx.
You are a troublesome dumbass. I don't understand why I'm even breathing the same air with you. You're too loud, too boisterous, too brash, too crude and too hyperactive. Basically a dobe. Your personality is so annoying that your image basically glues into my brain and I can't eradicate it. I guess that your stupidity is so insistent that carves a permanent mark of "usuratonkachi" that no one will be able to take it off. I'm pretty sure that I no longer can identify you as Uzumaki Naruto, just dumbass or simply idiot.
I can't get rid of you. And I'm absolutely convinced that you started all this mess. Since we're fourteen, you and your constant use of that neon orange jumpsuit were an eyesore for my days. And even now you still follow me practically all day and when you can't, you're plaguing my days and nights.
Yes, you've managed to plaster your presence even when you're not at present. And that was a total paradoxical statement. I think that your lunacy is also brushing on me. Can't you get even more irritating than you are already?
I can't take you out of my head. I train and I think of you. I go on a mission and I think of you. I eat and I think of you. I breathe and I think of you. I sleep…lord, I try to sleep and I'm fucking thinking of you. Emphasize the fuck here.
Whether fucking your tight ass, fucking your delicious mouth and swallowing your hard dick, fucking on the kitchen table, fucking on the bed, beside the bed, behind the bed, around the bed, bathroom, closet, dark alley, training grounds, public baths, on daytime, on nighttime, on whatever time, lately, all of my dreams were all scheduled with fucking. You. Some have a higher variety, you with one or two clones, but basically it's you as the sole porn star.
And naturally you make me even more frustrated as I already am when I wake up. Not only that I had already built a tiring routine of running glacier showers every fucking morning (I'm astonished by the fact that I still didn't catch a cold) but you increase my aggravation by daily sparring with me after that.
Oh yes, spar. A horrible torture when I have excruciating choices if I should pluck out my eyes, arms and ears or I should start molesting you. Because since you're a dobe, you leave a lot of openings and opportunities to fondle your crotch, your ass, your legs, everything around you. And since you always are a brainless idiot that waste unnecessarily your stamina, you keep gasping and panting for air while my mind keep reenacting all these sounds on the night prior, using these noises for much more pleasurable purposes. You moan especially louder when I fuck you from behind in my dreams. I hate when you scream my name, because I keep comparing to the pitch when you scream while you cum.
And you're inattentive moron. Lord knows how many times you had accidentally touched some unwanted parts of my body. I'm already tired from sparring and you want to kill me for chakra depletion you stupid dobe? I had never forgiven you since a fateful day when your ass (totally squeezable and soft, can I grope it some other time?) kept rubbing on my stomach until I could barely walk because of my erection. Then, we accidentally fell from a tree and the same ass (pun intended) almost made cozy acquaintances with an interesting organ of my own. Thank God that I kicked you on the gut right before that. You punched me, calling me an insensible asshole, since the fall almost made you break your arm, but between you and me? It was worth it.
Curse hormones. Curse your body, do you have to be so attractive in the course of these years? When you were fourteen you were only a scrawny little brat but look at you now. Totally fuckable. Curse the incessant desire on exploring every inch of that obnoxious tanned skin, kidnap you and fuck you from dawn to dusk.
And above all, I'm cursing you. If the annoying sexual cravings weren't enough, you're a person that I find impossible to hate. You're my best friend, someone who understands everything about me. I can't spend my days without you. Your retarded grin, stupid big heart and forgiven traits make me feel compelled to include you every time in my life. Your invading energy and endless stupid determination became a surviving necessity for me.
Why you? Why? What have I done wrong to deserve such karma? I was sure that I would spend the rest of my life asexual, without suffering any obstructing emotion but your pestering is so annoyingly sticky that you broke my original plans for future. Now I only want to fuck you everywhere possible in Konoha, fuck you in every position imaginable and fuck you in every smooth surface encountered.
Curse you Uzumaki Naruto.
I despise the moment that whenever we cross our eyes my breathing get erratic, my face starts to drop rivulets of cold sweat, my heart keep pounding insanely fast and I have urges to kiss you senseless and obviously, fuck you. If I wasn't already aware the name of this sentiment, I'd firmly believe that I'm experiencing a severe and fatal disease. Hopefully I'll eradicate it in due time and if I fail, well, at least I'm going to infect somebody else and it'll definitely be you.
His hand was failing to register the last words. He let his head fall haphazardly on the table and bumped it on the wooden surface for a couple of minutes.
"Aaaargh…" Frustrated, he folded the text and threw it aside.
Sasuke never was a man to constantly voice or show his emotions. Considering his reserved and nonchalant attitude, he preferred keeping them to himself as the only exception rule is when he is forced to show them up under extreme conditions. He mentally winced, remembering the appointed moments. He always ended up by exploding and let his mind go haywire. He guessed that bottling up his feelings would eventually lead to escape haphazardly and uncontrollably.
And the current infuriating and frustrating issue would be his best friend, aka Dobe, aka fuckable Usuratonkachi, aka if-I-could-just-grope-by-accident-that-delectable-ass-my-life-would-turn-for-the-better Naruto. Hn. The term is way too long to his standards. Maybe he should put such-sexy-body-should-be-a-crime moron or simply molestable-ass would be enough. Yes. Molestable-ass Uzumaki Naruto is a gigantic headache to someone as detached and composed as Sasuke.
He thought that writing, instead of speaking, would be a easier route to confess his…problems, but the Uchiha, as much as he disliked admitting a weakness; wasn't good in describing his feelings. After some subsequent weeks of writing, thinking, brooding, incinerating orange clad dummies and having another set of porn running in his dreams whenever he would sleep, he had a letter done.
Though at this present moment, now that he's re-reading his own text, Sasuke realized that he probably won't deliver this message to its receiver. The content rang a sincerity that he thought he wasn't capable to muster it, nevertheless, he succeeded it. Though he noticed that he ended up writing it to relieve a lot of his tension that was hanging on his shoulders (and hard-ons).
However, such letter wouldn't alleviate the current situation if he ever presented it to Naruto. The brooding brunet is certain that, even in the most positive expectation he had foreseen, as the Dobe reciprocating his feelings, the blond would probably quirk a perplexed/terrified eyebrow and look strangely to him for the rest of his life. At the worst expectations, he'd probably flee faaaaaar away from Sasuke, horrified from the prospect of being raped by his friend. (A very reasonable probability)
And Sasuke was petrified beyond words by Naruto's possible rejection. For a long period of time, he wouldn't even dare to show any subtle signs of infatuation, fearing the probability of that brilliant cerulean blue recoil the feelings that he harbored for Naruto. He didn't wanted to turn an awkward atmosphere falling between them, not after many months mending the fragile friendship that was ruthless destroyed at his absence.
Recalling back, Sasuke initially didn't understand why he had felt so relieved the first time when Naruto chatted normally with him after his defection. Also didn't comprehend why he was growing attached to spend his days with his blond friend. Couldn't see why he was so determined to unravel more and more façade from the man followed by the name Uzumaki Naruto.
It took only one kindled smile, the sunset rays bathing on the golden hair when Sasuke felt his heart racing, craving for more.
At the beginning there would be the emotional yearning, followed then by physical ones. Erotic dreams and hallucinations plagued and twisted his mind every single day. The brunet knew that he was closer to fall to total insanity, never once an image would stamp and contaminate so closely to his skin, the incessant urges were becoming unbearable.
Summing all up, that's how Sasuke concluded that Naruto became his most important person, companion and friend. Knowing the truth made everything else fall into easier comprehension, but arose others difficulties.
Wanting Naruto brought a greater risk to break apart their current companionship. Sasuke didn't want to be apart from Naruto and also didn't want to lose him in every possible way. He did not want to predict a life without that endless bundle of energy.
Because Sasuke loved Naruto so much.
The brunet instantly growled, his face contorted in a frown. He's not into sentimental crap, he'd be a laughing stock if this absurdity ever befall in his current issue. As if all these…nuisances weren't enough to trouble him everyday. He had already his share of psychological traumas and childhood scars to trouble around. He didn't want to add one more to the list.
Sasuke sighed then. Maybe he should simplify this dilemma and plainly rape his best friend. Surely this would solve smoothly most of his problems and eliminate most of his troubled topics as per say to leave a few insistent survivors here and there. He'd properly analyze the remaining ones after he properly have…a thorough and through examination on the dobe's body.
The naïve idiot would probably agree on helping him with whatever feeble excuse he'll come up in his head. Like…scratching an itch.
Yeah…Scratch my itch.
Not the back…somewhere lower.
If you could use your mouth instead of your hand that would be even better.
Smirking the evilest smirks that would put villains into shame, Sasuke picked up his pencil and began diagramming his plan.
After throwing aside the lettered confession and drawing an intricate operation on how to get on Naruto's pants that dragged Sasuke's hours till midnight, the brunet slept satisfactory well knowing that finally, finally he'd solve his issues (some) once and for all.
He woke up normally, falling in the same routine he followed everyday. Waking up, go to the bathroom, wash his face, brush his teeth, turn on the cold shower, wanking off while thinking of Naruto, change clothes, prepare and eat breakfast, revalidating all his equipments. Though today he opened again the foolproof plan to recheck some details while the Uchiha cackled darkly inside. He folded and placed on the jounin vest pocket, exiting his house to meet his vic—err…partner.
He failed to notice that he also slipped in his written confession side by side with the plan by accident.
The poor, innocent lamb arrived on the noted time, wearing his toothy grin and greeting energetically his friend with glee. Sasuke's lips fought down the urge to uplift a very, very predatory smirk.
"Huh? Did something happen to you, Sasuke? You're smiling strangely." The blond took a few backwards steps as the smirk, instead dimming, grew a little bit more.
"Nothing abnormal. So, we're going to train now, right?" The Uchiha practically purred.
"Yeah! Just you wait when I succeed to kick your ass! This time I'll defeat you!" The hyperactive dobe pointed challenging to his rival and already started some warming up exercises. "Ah, wait a min."
He unzipped quickly his orange jacket, throwing carelessly near some tree root and was removing his black t-shirt when the black-haired nin spoke almost panicking:
"What are you doing you crazy usuratonkachi?! Undressing yourself in plain daylight!!"
The blond furrowed an eyebrow. "What the hell you think I'm doing, Bastard? It's pretty hot today, I'm stripping my clothes if I really want to fight against you or I'll die of dehydration."
"Hn." Sasuke refused to let his onyx eyes wander from up to down every toned muscle and notice how the sun-kissed skin practically glossed under the sun. He's stronger than that.
Still, how could the usuratonkachi spoil some of his strategies to rap—explore closely his best friend's body. Sasuke was the one who was entitled to undress Naruto!
Not to mention that the tantalizing torso was providing great distractions to his mind, instead of commencing his operation…No, he's not ogling Naruto's body.
Just…revising the necessary notes.
His eyes met by accident with the puzzled azure ones and Sasuke suddenly felt like a kid caught with his hand in the cookies' jar.
Naruto cocked his head to one side.
"Sasuke, are you feeling alright? Your face is all red."
Sasuke internally scowled, feeling somewhat in between with an indescribable relief and mixed outrage. Yes, Uzumaki Naruto, the current toad sage, Kyuubi holder and worldly known as "the number one unpredictable ninja" also had a very famous nickname. It's called "Dense. As. Rock."
How the hell had he managed to fall in love with this idiot? If Naruto wasn't this inattentive, all of Sasuke's problems would also cut in halve. But the dobe had to be this oblivious, he had to be ignorant on whatever was happening under his nose and Sasuke had to have bigger obstructions to be breached. Nothing related to this dumbass would ever be simple.
Unbeknownst to Sasuke's inner turmoil, Naruto saw a vendor selling popsicles and happily bought one. Flavor?
Yes, vanilla. The blond opened the wrapping around and took a long lick:
"Aaaah…I'm in heaven!" Naruto sighed contentedly.
The statement flew to Sasuke's ears and went straight to his groin when he heard such arousing moan. He snapped his neck so fast towards the source of that sound that he had a whiplash. The tanned man was leisurely appreciating the ice-cream that he failed to notice that he had a very eager audience watching him.
Everything inside Sasuke's mind was slowly disappearing into thin air as all his being was fully concentrated on that talented tongue (Note to self: exploit this ability to his own gain) that kept licking, twirling, nipping the fortunate popsicle holding securely on the tanned hand.
"Mmmm…so good!" And it's unbelievable why everybody is wondering since when the asexual Uchiha Sasuke would be so turned on with his own friend. Because no one with hot blood in their veins wouldn't desire the blond nin after hearing this kind of moan!
"Hmmm…" Naruto placed his mouth on the base of the gelid surface and slowly move it up until he rested on the tip and bit it. His lips wrapped around and gave a light suck on the head—no, not head, he meant…tip, not tip because the sound of this word definitely would remember slit so…yeah.
"It's pretty refreshing to eat ice cream in a hot summer day right Teme!" The Kyuubi vessel chirped gleefully and Sasuke only nodded mutely in return. All his intelligible faculties took a halt until it narrowed into only one last reserve: Checking every second if his jaw hadn't dropped to the ground and if there wasn't any trickle of blood dribbling from his nostrils. His pride would be dammed if he's caught red-handed gawking at the dumbass. More than he already was, that is.
And the blond nin continued to savor his popsicle as Sasuke continued to savor the gratuitous show. His white teeth kept nipping every side of the length and twirled his tongue again at the end. Naruto paused for a moment, his lips were smeared from vanilla and calmly licked cleaning them up. At this precise point, the onyx eyes unquestionably enlarged considerably, praying to gods that he could substitute the popsicle into…another possession of his.
"Teme, you want some?" Naruto kindly offered the food to him but the Uchiha's mind swan around his words.
Want…want…want…want what? You want me to want some…?
"Ah damn, it dirtied my fingers." Naruto grunted as he transferred the ice cream to another hand and proceeded to lick his tanned finger. He was giving large swaps on the palm, thumb, flicked his tongue on the pinkie but, when his lips wrapped around the middle one, Sasuke's eyes managed to capture frame by frame the mouth swallowing down the finger and going up again before licking the excessive of saliva off.
Now you all comprehended the reason of Sasuke's turmoil huh?
The Uchiha shook vigorously his head, trying to salvage any last sanity lingering on his mind. He cleared his throat, his voice sounding more raspy then he had originally intended. "Train dobe, we have to train." Or else, how am I going to succeed on raping you inside the schedule that I had so carefully planned last night?
"Hm?" Naruto returned on the task of eating his popsicle and Sasuke couldn't help but to stare at it mesmerized, the length of the ice-cream rhythmically disappearing and reappearing between licks. "C'mon ya bashtarr, 'm eatin nowa, wai' shom moar minuts." He managed to speak through his occupied mouth. Sasuke tried not to shiver on fantasying how far that sinuous lips could be stretched.
He grunted, averting his eyes from torturing pleasure and had to agree with the dumbass that yes, it is getting pretty hot, especially on this day. He took his handkerchief from his jounin pocket to clean his dampened forehead, ignoring the obnoxious voice warning about something. Argh, his face was still scorched from the intoxica—no, not the sight, but the weather, Konoha's summer does have some hot days under the bright sun. The dobe was trying to catch his attention though with no avail, Sasuke was completely ignoring Naruto's protest of something that he does not wish to know. He was fully concentrated on quelling down some anatomic parts of his body.
"Oi, Teme! Some piece of paper fell from your pocket, asshole!" Naruto threw aside the remnant of his food and went towards the fallen object to retrieve it. "Ungrateful Bastard, not only you ignore me but you force me to pick this fucking thing for you."
Only when Sasuke noticed his friend's crouched form as his stretched hand was trying to reach something was when all the warning bells shrieked loudly. THE PLAN!
"Ow! Whaddya have to kick me so strongly you Bastard?!" Furious sapphire eyes glowered to the brunet while his arms were tenderly rubbing his stomach. Naruto attempted to make a move again. "I was just moving to pick your goddamn thing you goddamn assho—" Another kick swapped towards his arm but this time Naruto caught it in time.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" His freed hand tried to pick the paper up but an ivory one slapped away. "It's just…" Another tanned hand was reaching towards the paper and another slap. "Some…" Tanned hand. "Piece of paper!" Ivory hand. "Asshole!" Tanned hand.
Fortunately, Sasuke had at last remembered that he was supposed to be a ninja, a human being with honed reflexes and high expertise in all kinds of fighting area and wasn't supposed to engage a childish competition with Naruto. He threw a set of shurikens towards his foe and grunted in smug satisfaction an outraged yelp following behind.
"Are you crazy, man?!" The Uchiha ignored the babbling voice again and serenely went to pick his piece of paper. Until it poofed when came in contact to his fingertips.
The prankster man showed his tongue in mocking defiance, the folded paper holding securely on his hand. "Like I'd ever admit defeat against you asshole. Now just what exactly does this thing have inside to have you protecting it that fier—" A high upper kick was directed to his whiskered face and Naruto had to crouch to evade it though Sasuke used this momentum to swap a low kick and the tanned body fell haphazardly on the floor.
Whoop! Naruto was moaning from the pained bump on his head, leaving Sasuke to retrieve his plan from unresisting fingers, smirking smugly over his victory. His success was short-lived when a kunai flew towards his hand and pierced the paper, capturing it until it dig securely on some tree branch, Naruto making swift hand signs, a clone appearing through a wisp of smoke.
"Go!" The Kage Bunshin jumped high to their target, Sasuke snarling in indignation wondering how the hell a simple snatching of paper became a fighting competition with the retarded dumbass. As always, everything apparently simple turns to be a complex problem whenever it would fall into mischievous tanned fingers. Troublesome dobe…
The brunet threw a kunai, successfully dispatching the clone though couldn't hinder the clone throwing the paper to the original Naruto, while the latter ran away from Sasuke, trying to read the content. He was slightly unfolding the first layer when he heard dangerous sounds of thousand birds driving in his direction and ducked in the knick of time, save from some blond hairs that got fried.
"What the hell Sasuke?! There's no need to use a chidori for that!" Naruto complained, his friend ignoring once again his 'stupid whines' and propelling his body towards his foe while Naruto placed his arms in front of his chest to parry Sasuke's kick as the latter quickly detached his foot from it, making very familiar hand signs and inhaling a good amount of air, the blond gaping slightly from the absurdity of all, his knees getting ready to jump up.
"Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" A ball of fire filled the training ground as Naruto floated in the air, surveying the chaos. Suddenly, another set of sharp shurikens aimed at his neck that made Naruto evade at a side, but an ivory hand (again) reached towards the paper.
"This is something of my possession, you should return it to me." Sasuke finally grabbed it and yanked hard to retrieve it back even though his adversary was making extenuating efforts to yank it to his side. Not wasting any second, the brunet threw a fist on the whiskered face and took a smug satisfaction on feeling the flesh connecting and bones snapping. (Huh…do you really love Naruto, Sasuke?)
Until it poofed again into nothing and the golden-haired ninja was blowing a mocking raspberry at him. "You're an arrogant asshole, why should I obey an icy bastard like you, jerk?" He peeked inside the folded paper. "Or do you have some girly secret that you don't want to show, Suke-chan?" Naruto sardonically used a sweetened tone, making kissy faces. "I bet it must be something related to your latest crush."
Oh, if only you would know. Sasuke glared darkly and rebutted. "I assure you that I don't waste my time with those absurdities." Except wasting his nights imagining the best position on screwing the blond.
For some glorious seconds Sasuke succeeded on tugging his paper back and exhibited the crumbled material in his hands haughtily. The folded paper opened a little and the cerulean eyes squinted to focus the written part and said. "Hey, now that I'm paying attention at it, I'm pretty sure that I read my name somewhere in there."
"It must be a delusion from a retarded dumbass like you, dobe." Sasuke attempted to make a feint move and escape from this place (since this situation was getting off-hand) and incinerate the piece of paper. Naruto however, as being the good and best friend of him, predicted the move and already made another bunshin to surround him.
"But I can see it from here! Na-ru-to!" He narrowed his blue eyes. "Suspicious…"
Sasuke felt a cold sweat running on his spine.
"I bet it's some kind of dirty and low plan to defeat me!"
And he rolled his onyx eyes. The oblivious idiot, indeed. Sasuke snorted. "Dobe."
"Just admit it! You must've been feeling sore from the last time I defeated you! Bad loser!" Naruto pointed an accusing finger.
Sometimes Sasuke wondered why did he even bother having feelings for this retarded moron.
"And this piece of paper must have the details on how you'll get on my ass!" Unholy mental images flowed inside Sasuke's brain and he resisted the urge to personally show on how Naruto's statement was correct in his terms. Does the idiot even realize the effects that he brought from his words to Sasuke?!
"And 'm gonna get this paper back! Just to see what kind of cheating plan you've devised, Bastard!" The game tag was on again. Naruto flailed his arms to pick the paper. Sasuke kept evading. Swishing to right.
"Idiot." The hand holding the paper to the left.
"Asshole!" Swishing to left.
"Moron." The paper being transferred to the right.
"Bastard!" To the right.
"Dumbass." To the left. Ok. They were supposed to be the exemplary mature, rational, serene and definitely adult shinobis of Konoha, right?
Sasuke curled a very conceited smirk, certainly enjoying the fuming look (followed with a protruding lower lip) that was stamped from his Dobe. Naruto on his side, was actually seriously contemplating whether he should blow a Rasengan through that annoying arrogant look of his friend. But just for a piece of paper?
The blond took a few steps backwards, puzzling Sasuke for a while. Then he lunged forward with a battle cry, shaking the nearby leaves in the forest. The brunet, though he expected that sudden movement, his widened graphite eyes couldn't deter the incoming collision from them, surely "not" opting to ogle the alluring tanned torso displayed in front of him. A high kick dislodged the pale hand from the paper and finally the paper flew some meters away to rest innocuously on the ground.
Few seconds passed until both of them ran towards the object but Sasuke, sensing the impending defeat (though never admitting it) shoved a middle kick on Naruto's side and received a curse in return (Cheating Bastard!). He couldn't smirk for too long because the fallen foe decided to also use his share of low tact:
"Uzumaki Naruto's desperate mountain attack!" Naruto declared making some hand signs.
Uzumaki Naruto's desperate what…?
Hundreds of clones appeared from the sky targeting only one victim, until all of them made a very squashed Uchiha pancake.
"Take that Sasuke-teme!" Naruto howled victorious, picking the targeted object at last from the murderous onyx eyes. Sasuke's fingertips was just a few inches to reach that damn thing.
For some mere Kage Bunshins, the stupid dumbasses surely were pretty heavy. Not to mention one was sitting right on his back, the heavenly feeling of that soft pair of buttocks which—Focus!
"Hey, it's addressed to me." This statement made Sasuke tilt his head upwards, furrowing his eyebrows perplexed. He didn't recall having ever writing such thing on the diagrammed plan. He'd addressed Naruto's name on…
His stomach turned cold at the implication and Sasuke made a desperate attack, throwing a last kunai to rip apart the written confession. However, instead of a gaping hole on the white surface, a white smoke substituted it.
"Hah. I knew that you'd do such thing so I did a Kage Bunshin instead. Hey boys, hold him tighter now! Stupid asshole, why would you have a letter addressed to me…?" Naruto opened the letter.
"No!" Sasuke tried to struggle free but the attempt was unsuccessful. "Don't read it, you moron!"
"Geez…what the hell have you eaten in this morning, did some bug bit your ass to make you that uptight?" The blond quirked an eyebrow in response. "Oh yeah, forgot for a while, you're always uptight. It's just a letter, man!"
And now Sasuke was ready to enter in panic mode. Ignoring the desperate look from his friend, Naruto continued to read, at first he scowled, grunting about Bastards and their assholes vocabulary, each paragraph being read from the concentrated cerulean eyes. Suddenly, a pause. The fair colored eyebrows shot to his hairline until Naruto tilted his neck closely to the letter, trying to recheck what he had just read. As he continued to read, line per line, his eyes grew as wide as saucers until he gaped open-mouthed, a dribble of saliva escaped from his lips.
When he finished to the very last word, excruciating minutes fell between them, Naruto with his fish-outside-the-water expression and Sasuke with his embarrassed-but-still-using-his-Uchiha-Glare® one. Everything around them went stock still, even the air paused around them, only an insistent buzzing remained, surrounding them.
Until a pair of lips slowly stretched wide till it rested completely lopsided, a fox grin clearly stamped on his tanned face and his cerulean eyes were glinting in sly mirth.
"Oh hoh…" He mockingly waved the letter in front of Sasuke's nose. "So the famous stoic Uchiha Sasuke is having some issues here with me, eh?"
This scenario obviously wasn't on Sasuke's predictions so he only chose to react using his usual cards.
Uchiha Glare ®. "So what?"
"Hm…I didn't know that I was that irresistible." Naruto grinned boyishly with his usual boisterous arrogance. "Wait, I know that I am irresistible, but I didn't expect that my charm would even get the ice princess Uchiha, ya know. Can't get enough of me, Sasu-chan?"
Sasuke only chose to conjure every possible sharp weapon in vicinity and maim this dumbass until he turned into Swiss cheese. When they failed to humor him, he begged to gods that they could open a hole on the ground and swallow him up.
No prayers were answered. Damn. Karma really hated him huh?
"Had you enjoyed the wet dreams, Sasu-chan? Were they all sexy and kinky or most of them were like teenagers discovering their puberty by having fantasies with celebrities? If it was the last, I wonder if you got all messed up…you know…from fluids." A deep sadist chuckle followed afterwards.
Kill this idiot by slashing and hacking all his body until every part of his organs turned into blood and gorge. Throw the remnants in the acid and enjoy as every bone and flesh dissolve into nothing. Dispose the acid in a nearby river as you take care that every digital, iris or incriminating evidences would be smashed until it's completely useless to be used. Travel to a distant place where you'll immigrate from time to time and return to the original town fifty years later when the law can't incriminate you anymore.
Now when can he commence the murder of this dumbass before some wandering passerby could arrive?
"You know, if only I could understand you better, I wouldn't let you suffer by yourself for so long." Naruto smiled sadly while he settled to rest his back on a nearby tree.
"…what do you mean by that?"
"I didn't know that I was troubling you so much. But at least…you finally spoke up. Those are your feelings that you have for me right?" The blond asked, expectantly.
But Sasuke couldn't meet the azure eyes, mute.
"Sasuke…those are your true feelings that you have for me…right?" Naruto repeated the question, his tone solemn.
The brunet still couldn't match the gaze, only grunting wordlessly in return.
Naruto sighed exasperated, quickly dispatching the clones to free Sasuke. The Uchiha did contemplate, for a wild moment, to escape from the torment and never meet Naruto again, but his legs stayed rooted on the ground. But before his mind would commence any operation, warm hands palmed around his face and tilted neck to encage his gaze into endless blue.
"Sasuke." Naruto enquired once again. "Were all those words…all of them. True?"
Their breaths hitched.
And Sasuke slowly felt his entire soul centered inside such electric blue, engulfed before their eyes had met. Perhaps then, his being was already entrapped even before he began having such feelings for Naruto.
Knowing that he could no longer escape, Sasuke said the sole word that would change his entire life. "…yes."
And it was Naruto's turn to tense, unmovable, not expecting the honest answer. Though it took only a few more seconds to widen a candid smile, the same one that Sasuke sought over his years.
Their faces approached, unhurriedly, until they could feel each other's warm breath brushing on their skin and each bump of lips slightly tingled from expectation, waiting to connect. When the velvety feeling had at last sank in their system, they easily consented to be drowned from all the sensations, exploring and inhaling each other presence's at their dictated slow pace. Their kisses weren't passionate, neither fiery though surely weren't sweet, it was just an acknowledgement of the essence of their feelings. The conclusion that all they really desire was the presence of each other.
They finished when it was in due time to end, simply as that. Maybe because they wanted to ascertain that the lingering touches weren't part of illusion. Or perhaps they knew that if they continued, they wouldn't stop until they became one indivisible soul. Naruto retreated his face to search intently at Sasuke's eyes until he gave a meek chuckle, sighing happily. Sasuke naturally felt returning the laughter with a small sincere smile on his own.
That was when Naruto surrendered to his prankster side and purred:
Sasuke narrowed his eyes, not comprehending the question "So?" Tilted a jet black eyebrow.
Naruto showed the paper and pointed the last line. "You didn't finish your letter."
The brunet felt his blood vessels spike up around his face and murmured. "So…"
"Soooooo…" The blond singsonged, but didn't make any further mocking taunt.
"So…" Sasuke took a deep breath, giving a nasty glare to discourage the inquire, but was promptly ignored.
Mentally adding 'sadist' to Naruto's personality list, he grunted out. "I love you."
"Hm…" Naruto idly picked up his pen from his jounin pocket and filled the blank spaces. "Signed, Uchiha Sasuke. Do you prefer 'I hope you die' or 'I hope I can fuck you until your ass get raw from all the uninterrupted sex' postscript or just your signature will be enough?" The prankster shinobi asked innocently.
The Uchiha Glare ® was the consistent answer.
"I'm so happy that my Sasu-chan turned out to be such a sentimental Uchiha! What happened? The fangirls succeeded to throttle their Valentine chocolates in your mouth or did you met some fairy godmother that enchanted you some way?"
"I hope you die painfully, lonely and thrown your body in some nearby garbage can."
The other mocked a astonished girlish gasp and continued. "But Sasu-chan, not when you said that you luuuuuurv me so much!"
Where did he put the scroll to summon a very sharp and gigantic Fuuma shuriken? Oh right, left pocket.
"But it's not an everyday issue when an Uchiha Sasuke would declare so openly those passionate words of love, you know. Konoha should mark this in a calendar and proclaim it as a national holiday. I can even imagine the name… 'The Uchiha Sasuke's youthful confession' day! The confession is a little bit creepy and pervert, but nothing serious."
Someone let me kill this moron right-now.
Sasuke's murderous plans were roughly interrupted when two tanned hands had successfully pinned him down to the ground and the brunet gasped, feeling something hard poking his thigh.
"Now let me show you my response." Naruto whispered huskily, slowly dragging Sasuke's trousers down.
It appears, in the end, that Naruto also suffered the same disease caused by their sparring sessions.
Later, Sasuke had the pleasure to personally test if his dreams had real validation. Hm…yes, Naruto does moan louder from behind.
Author notes: (grumbles grumbles grumbles) This story was supposed to be a drabble inside "Their Daily Lovely Bickering" fic but it span out of control. So I've decided to publish as a one-shot.
This fic is called: hey-let's-just-leave-the-characters-have-their-fun-for-a-while-and-simply-write-the-interaction-with-zero-of-plot. So forgive me.
Great. A supposed short drabble turned out to be a one-shot, a one-shot morphed to an eleven chapters type of story, a thirty chapters type of story is going to become a sixty chapters type of story. What the hell is wrong with me?!
Hey hey, do you guys want Naruto's letter version? Not the same story, Naruto writing and Sasuke reading. I can even imagine the beginning… "You asshole Bastard, I hate you!" Etc…:P