A/N: Joker!Dean and Antichrist!Sam. Fair warning: This second chapter is just as twisted as the first one. Don't know why. My meds are working. At least, I think they are. This is the second and final part of this one shot. I felt we needed Dean's POV, so here it is.
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or The Dark Knight. This is all in fun, not for profit, and no disrespect to Heath Ledger is intended.
Everybody leaves me.
So why shouldn't they leave with a smile on their faces? Why does everything have to be so fucking serious?
If I can make just one person laugh, I mean really laugh, and get 'em to die like that, well, that's something, isn't it?
Learned some things when I was down south. Learned my place in this life. Y'see, I don't struggle against myself anymore. Waste of time. There's no point to it. I got a hard head about some things. Dad knew it. So did Sam. Took me forty years in hell to finally come around.
Before that I kept my end of the deal. Wasn't gonna welsh on it, well not until the end, anyway. Didn't work out.
Glad it didn't. I died. I got better.
First time I saw Sam topside again I was having a bad day. Everybody had these sour, serious looks on their faces. Nothing worked, y'know? Finally had to break out my knives and start carving smiles and that's no damn good. I like to see people having a good time without me givin' them a little nudge in that direction.
While my guys disposed of the bodies I decided to take Sammy and John-boy for a walk. There's a dog park nearby.
Sammy? He's hairier than two legged Sam and his table manners are better. Sammy's almost dainty when he eats. I could sit and watch him for hours. Getting used to all that slobber he flings around was a bitch. Other than that I was fine.
John-boy? I like the way he looks at me. He doesn't judge, y'know? Just sits there with this goofy grin on his ugly mug all the damn time.
I like a hell hyena like that.
We were on our way out the door when Harley comes over and drapes her body over my shoulders like a damn raincoat or somethin'.
"You want me to come with, Mister J?"
"Nah." I shrug her off, and I'm not too freakin' gentle about it, either. She nearly face plants into the floor. The boys giggle and Harley gives them a dirty look. "You just stay as sweet as you are and stay here 'til I get back," I drawl. I peck her on the cheek and she gives me this big fake smile.
She doesn't like it but there's nothing she can do about it, unless she wants to blow her cover. Thinks I don't know who she really is, but I do. I've seen the way her face shifts, the way her eyes go white when she thinks I'm not looking.
'm not as dumb as Lillith thinks I am.
Dog park's crowded this time of day. That's good. Killed two birds with one stone. My boys get some exercise while they run down their food. I don't have to feed 'em when we get back. Sweet.
I get this tingle at the back of my skull while I'm playin' with 'em. "Here boy, here Sammy, go fetch the stick, boy, fetch the stick!"
"Dean…that's a human arm bone," Sam says from behind me, and I start grinning at the sound of his voice.
"Oh. Yeah, it is, isn't it?" I stare deadpan at the bone in my hand like I've never seen one before.
I've seen plenty.
"Huh." I scratch the side of my head with it as I turn around to look at Sam. Yeah, I'm glad to see the kid, but there's no sense in gettin' all emo about it. He looks like he wants to hurl.
Kid looks good. He's been taking care of himself while I was away. The air around him seems different, like he's giving off some kinda electric current. If I squint I can see it, all yellow haze in the air around him.
There's this brunette in jeans and a black leather jacket standing next to him. I know who's inside, but I play dumb.
"Who's the skank, bro'?"
"Oh. Same bitch, different packaging, huh?" She rolls her eyes as she looks at me and it's hate at first sight. All over again.
"Dean, look, I can help you," Sam says earnestly. "You don't have to live like this."
"Like what, Sam?" He stares at me like he can't believe what I'm saying, or how I look. Doesn't bother me. I just wish the kid wasn't so fucking serious. I get a headache sometimes when people are too damn serious.
I'm getting one now.
"I'm just a clown, Sammy. That's all I ever was. That's all you ever saw in me. Dad, too. Only one who ever really saw past all that was Mom, and look where she ended up."
I don't like all this serious crap.
John-boy's staring at me with his head cocked to one side, all confused, and I remember why I came out in the first place. I throw the arm bone long and high and Sammy and John-boy take off running after it.
Sam stands there with his mouth open.
"You plan on catchin' flies with that mouth, dude?"
Sam's mouth snaps shut.
"I know I'm not as smart as you are. I try to make up for that."
"Dean, I can help you," the kid says again, and that's it. I don't wanna hear any more.
New Ruby stands there with her arms crossed. "Don't waste any more time with him, Sam." I sure in the hell don't like that smirk on her face. "Dean's a lost cause, now more than ever. You couldn't see it before. It's as plain as the nose on your face now."
Sam snarls at her. "Shut the hell up, Ruby."
Sammy and John-boy finally stop their tug of war over the arm bone. John boy won. Sammy's got his consolation prize in his mouth, a human thigh bone with some meat still on it. Sammy and John-boy stand at the entrance of the dog park, ears pricked, those stumpy tails of theirs wagging. They're waiting for me.
It's time to go. Cops are four minutes out. I can feel it in the air.
I step over the remains of this black and white Great Dane and its owner. She was a bossy yuppie bitch, I think that's her thigh bone Sammy has in his mouth. She was the first one to go when we walked into the park.
Sam makes this strangled noise deep in his throat, and I almost stop in my tracks.
I said almost.
"Well. Don't think this hasn't been a little slice of heaven. It hasn't."
"Dean, please---" Out come those puppy eyes of Sam's, and I don't even flinch.
"See you around, Sam." I start walking and I don't look back.
Next time I see Sam it's in an abandoned warehouse outside of Chicago. My guys are armed to the teeth. I got Dad to thank for that. The connections and all. So where did you think we got the guns and stuff we used to hunt with, huh? It's all six degrees of separation, boys and girls.
The guys inside were hunters. Gordon Walker's group. I heard the rumors, heard about how they were hunting Sam, so me and my group shagged ass up to Chi Town. Left Harley coolin' her heels in the warehouse. She's not a happy camper, but ask me if I care.
On the way up I heard they finally caught Sam and Ruby at last. Kid's gettin' sloppy. Nailed by a bunch of people. I felt embarrassed when I heard the news.
Got really pissed off when I walked into the place.
Sam's unconscious, bruised and bloodied, tied to this large wooden chair, right in the middle of this Devil's Trap Gordie drew on the floor.
Man, the look on Gordon's face when he saw me?
I had to stop John-boy from ripping him to shreds. I got a better idea. Gordon needs some sunshine in his life. Well, either that or bran fiber. Can't help him with that, but I can help him smile.
New Ruby's spread-eagled out on the floor nearby, right on top of another Devil's Trap. I don't go near the bitch. Sam can take her with him if he wants to.
My guys hogtie Gordon and his men and drag them to our truck parked at the loading dock outside. Sammy roams around looking for other chew toys, but he stops when I give him a dirty look. Sometimes I can't think straight with all that damn laughing, you know?
I cut the last rope holding Sam in the chair. I can hear all that commotion going on in his head. He feels guilty for not being able to stop my deal. I don't know why. I'm a changed man, and I like it. Hell wasn't so bad. I went somewhere I'd never been before, met new people. Put some smiles on faces. A whole lotta faces. It's all good.
I left before Sam woke up. Still don't like that damn emo crap. Smiling's one thing. All that talk about feelings? Well, that's something I can well do without.
Gordon got happy once I got him back to my place. He was damn giddy with it.
Got my act together now. Got the right mix of chemicals. Too bad about the people in that apartment building in Cali when I ran that final test. They were happy, though. They laughed all the time, at least until they died.
That's what counts in life. Life's a joke, and folks need to realize that. It's good to go out with a smile on your face.
I'm making a list, and I'm checking it twice. Too much seriousness in the world right now. Too many sour faces. The Batman, for one. Dude needs a cruise, a massage or maybe just a new outlook on life.
Or a smile on that sour mug of his. Yeah. I can see that.
New Ruby is another one that needs a freaking attitude adjustment. Aw hell, who am I kidding? I'm just going to gank the scuzzy bitch and be done with it, send her right back down to hell where she belongs.
I know a trick or two. Sam doesn't need her. He can do better.
And I'm gonna do what I can to lighten the mood around here.
A/N: "Well. Don't think this hasn't been a little slice of heaven. It hasn't." – quote stolen, I mean taken from Bugs Bunny. Don't ask me what cartoon. I got nothing.