The unusually bright London sun shone through the windows to the massive flat and Ronnie stirred just a bit. She opened her eyes, and for a moment she experienced the lack of clarity which comes from sleep. But as she felt Jez's arm wrapped around her waist and his head resting just above her shoulder, she recalled it all with a silent smile. Now, she was fighting the urge to move herself to face him, to look into his eyes and to kiss his lips. However, all of these wonderful things – which she was now allowed to do – required disturbing his slumber. She closed her eyes once more, recognizing the oneness of their bodies as she felt his chest rising against her back, breathing in tandem with her.
Finally, it all became too much to suppress.
Gently, she rotated her body so that she was no longer spooning with him, but facing him. For a brief second, she thought she'd succeeded in not rousing him. She smiled as she watched him there.
"Morning, love," Jez whispered groggily.
"Damn, I thought I hadn't woken you. I'm sorry, babe," she replied. Jez just chuckled a little bit. Count on Ronnie's first word in the morning to be a cuss.
"Don't worry, Ronnie. I've slept enough – and you're here," he replied finally opening his eyes to see her. He wrapped both his arms around her and pulled her in closer to him. She pressed her hands to his bare chest, brushing well-cut abs. "Let's try this again," he added. "Morning, babe," he said with a smile as he kissed her, nipping at her bottom lip. He responded in kind and vigorously kissed him back. His hands found her waist and played with the bottom edge of her tank top, his fingers ever so slightly wandering upward as they continued. Moments later she was so deeply taken in by their snogging session that she found herself laying on top of him for accessibilities sake.
"Ronnie," Jez moaned between kisses. "Ronnie," he repeated more pointedly this time. She ignored him and continued to kiss him. "Ronnie!" he exclaimed grabbing her arms to keep her from touching his lips again.
"What," she responded, looking down at him.
"Hon, we're going too fast. I can only control myself for so long. We just need to stop before something we regret happens."
"I won't regret doing anything with you," Ronnie replied with a satisfied smirk.
"I'm serious, Ronnie," he said, gently rolling her back to the bed. "First of all, we haven't talked about it. And second, I've never had sex with a girl before."
"It can't be that different," Ronnie replied.
"I've never had sex with anyone before," he corrected. He sat up and crossed his arms defensively.
"Seriously?" she exclaimed. She joined him in a seated position, still under the covers.
"Is that so hard to believe?" he asked, turning his head toward her. "I was an awkward kid, believe it or not. Yeah, I had a boyfriend or two, but we were just curious, confused teenagers. I'd only just gotten comfortable with my sexuality when you came along."
"Yes, it's hard to believe! You're so fit; I can't believe you wouldn't have. I'm a luckier girl than I thought," she responded, trying to lighten the mood.
"Well, believe it. So, I'd appreciate it if you took this a little bit more seriously, even if you aren't as inexperienced as I am." This was a side of Jez that Ronnie was not particularly used to seeing. He was perturbed, slightly scared and uncomfortable at the same time.
"I'm sorry, Jez," she whispered. "I didn't mean to put you in situation you couldn't handle. I just assumed. Well, I'm a complete prat. I'm not that much more experienced than you are, Jez. I've had a few boyfriends, and yes, we did a bit of fooling around, but none of them were ever serious enough to go all the way."
"But, I am?" he asked, putting himself at extremely great risk of sounding terribly unmasculine. A wide smile spread across her face as she realized how vulnerable he was allowing himself to be with her. She reached over and grabbed his hand, lacing her fingers through his.
"Of course you are, Jez. I know when I moved in, you thought that I was wary of sharing a bed with you because I didn't want to have sex, but on some level it was the exact opposite. I'd had a crush on you for so long before we kissed, you were one of my closest friends; took me under your wing even though I was just a dinner lady. None of my other boyfriends can compare to the intensity of what I feel – what I've always felt – for you."
She paused and Jez felt it was safe to speak. He opened his mouth to do so, but she pressed a finger to his lips, stopping him. "Just one more thing," she added. "I'm sorry I got caught up, but just know that I'll be waiting for you – whenever you're ready." She let her finger slide away from his mouth and she nodded, as if to say that he could say something if he wanted to.
He didn't. Instead, he took her hand and shifted his weight from against the headboard into a fully seated position. Then he wrapped his arms around her in an utterly silent embrace. She placed her arms around him and the pair just sat there for a few minutes, holding one another.
"I've never felt this way about anyone before, Ronnie. I don't deserve someone as nice as you in my life, but you're here and I never want to lose you," he whispered. He pulled away to say these next words to her face. "I love you. I hope you know that. I hope you know how much I love you, even if we haven't ---"
"--- I do."
"How about we get up and we'll go out to that place around the corner that makes banana pancakes, just like you like 'em?" Jez said with a smile.
"I'd like that," Ronnie sang with a smile. The two got out on their respective sides of the bed; Ronnie gathered some clothes to put on after her shower and stopped just short of the bathroom. "Is it okay if I go first?"
"Of course," he replied. She turned to go into the white tiled bathroom. "Oh, and Ronnie?" he asked, calling her attention back to him. She turned and leaned against the wall, smiling back at her boyfriend.
"When we do – and we will – it's going to be so perfect. I'll make sure of that."