Christina flipped over onto her stomach so Dean was in her immediate line of vision. She wasn't completely sure how they'd gone from the car park to her room, but she knew that she hadn't fought his advances as much as she knew she should. Things between them couldn't continue down the route they were going without one or both of them getting too involved. Somehow she knew she'd be the one hurt, and she didn't fancy having a broken heart at the hands of Dean when he was the one person she could just pick up with from where they'd left off. Nothing was ever personal between them. The comments they slung back and forth, only niggled on the surface of their façade, neither of them were meant to take what was said too seriously. But now they were getting into emotional territory, and she knew how Dean felt about sentimental conversations. He kept his feelings close to his chest, and hardly ever let them known. They were similar in that sense. But the games they played with one another were getting tiresome.
"We have to stop doing this." She said, looking him dead in the eye. "It's no good for either of us."
"It feels pretty good." He smiled reaching up to brush some of her fringe off her face.
"But if we continue on this path, things are going to get messy." She was honest.
"How? I've got just over 9 months left. There's barely time for things to get messy."
"You're that naive?"
"C'mon, don't I deserve to have a little fun?"
"At my expense?"
"No. That's not what I meant."
She shifted to wrap a sheet around her and climbed out of the bed. "I know what you mean. You're having fun right Dean? Well, what happens when you go to hell? I'm going to be left behind, without you. Do you even think about that?"
He sat up, his lower half covered by the sheet left on the bed. "C'mon CJ, it's not like we're dating."
"No, we're not. But you don't date Dean. You jump from girl to girl expecting that they're out for exactly the same thing you are. It's all in fun right? Well, not everything is about sex." She started to raise her voice slightly. "Sometimes things escalate."
"You know as well as I do that love is just a dirty trick played on us to assure the continuation of the species."
"God, everything is a conspiracy theory with you. Why don't you ever get that not everyone is like you?"
"I'm unique baby." He smiled confidently.
"No you're not Dean. You just act like you are."
"Are you taking medication?" He tried to lighten the mood.
She sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. "What is it going to take for you to realise that this isn't healthy?"
"We're both adults. We know what this is."
"No, we don't. I keep falling into the trap. I say it's not going to happen again, and here we are in bed together again." She sighed. "I can't keep doing this. I never know where I stand with you."
"I'm sorry, but not everyone is Sam."
"At least Sam has feelings. I'm not even sure you know how to feel anything other than anger and resentment."
"Different strokes for different folks."
She rolled her eyes in frustration. "But Dean, not everyone acts brave when they're scared to death. Not everyone pretends they don't feel something hoping it'll go away. I know you, as much as you fight it, I know you don't want to leave Sam. But you act like everything's going to come good because you're Dean Winchester." She sighed as involuntary tears started to leak from her eyes. "Well guess what? The world doesn't care who you are, who you've saved or what you do… you're still going to hell and you need to start thinking about all the people that love you, that are going to be left here wanting you here with them."
He shifted closer to her, "Does that list include you?"
This was it. This was the time to tell him how she felt. The opportunity had risen. But she was scared. "Are you really so blind that you don't know?" She questioned, hoping she wouldn't have to lay it all out in detail.
"I want to hear you say it." He responded, wanting her to tell him exactly how she felt so he wouldn't get any signal twisted.
"You've been a major part of my life for so long." She was candid. "There isn't a day that passes that I don't miss you."
He reached up to cup her face in his hand, "I wish it could be more than this. But I'm not going to be around forever and it wouldn't be fair to you."
She concentrated on the small display of affection he offered. "I guess I'm just going to have to take what I can get." She said with a tolerable smile.
The only response he gave was to ease her lips in his direction and lay a tender kiss upon them. Christina didn't pull away, even though she knew she should. This kiss was different. It didn't feel like the others, it seemed to mean more. Slowly she shifted, encouraging the sheet hiding her modesty to fall around her hips. Shrugging the bedclothes from around her naked form, she climbed upon him, instantly feeling how ready he was for her. She forced him backward, lightly pressing him into the mattress as she straddled his thighs.
Her pulse began to thud crazily as his soft lips responded to hers. His kisses tasted so sweet that it made her head swim with desire. Her mouth opened slightly inviting him to explore deeper, and he immediately accepted. Tenderly he slipped his tongue inside her mouth and caressed hers, kissing her with a rough sensuality that made her want him more. He was attentive without being overbearing as he kissed her over and over, but it wasn't enough to satisfy the need in her and just as she thought she was going to drown in her ache for him, he pulled away. But only long enough to take control, flipping her onto the mattress and taking her place on top.
His mouth lowered to hers, painfully slow and when it reached its destination, his lips caressed hers so faintly that they were hardly felt, until she opened her mouth, giving him access inside. He groaned his response and quickly desire turned to passion. She moaned in excitement as he pressed her against the mattress. Her thirst for his touch began to flow like a river throughout her body causing the kiss to deepen.
Finally he prized his mouth from hers and, breathing hard, whispered her name. His hand moved above her head to stroke her hair as he stared at her, needing no words to tell her he found her beautiful and her hand automatically rose to his cheek. The way he looked at her made her stomach knot and her heart race. She rose up effortlessly finding his mouth and, as he pushed her back down on the bed, her hands paused on his arms blindly examining his biceps.
His hands similarly explored her body with the lightest of caresses, sending a spasm of yearning through her despite his fingers barely brushing against the skin. His tenderness meant she hadn't been prepared for his mouth to cover her breast and circle the hardened nipple with his tongue. Christina gasped; it was as if fireworks were going off around her, showering sparks of sensation over her body. Her back arched towards him as he kissed her again. His hand slid to her hips, lifting her body to his, forcing her to acknowledge his need of her. Then his mouth trailed downward, from her lips to her throat, from her breasts to every curve of her body, before it reached the most intimate part of her. Gently he allowed the tip of his tongue to taste her and he almost drowned in her flavour. If it weren't for the feeling of his own control slipping he would've stayed there forever, pleasuring her.
Relocating himself back to his original position, his lips on hers, he pressed his body to hers and she immediately felt the hardness of his body, resulting in her own arousal to become tinged with urgency.
Boldly she made contact with his manhood and her growing need of him rose further still from the pit of her stomach. Coyly she took him into her hand and steadily stroked along his rock hard member being careful not to stimulate him out of control. This time was different between them. It was almost like the first time there was so much intensity.
He kissed her with gentle passion, taking back control of what was about to unfold. He kissed her until she breathed his name. He touched her body until every part of her knew him and wanted him – and only then did he take her. Her breath caught in her throat with the sheer thrill of how good he felt as he slipped himself inside her. She arched toward him, and he thrust deeper. Over and over their bodies moved in rhythm. The pleasure was sweet agony they couldn't bear any longer, it was like drowning, losing themselves in each other and it wasn't long before they came together, completing their passionate exchange.
= X =
Christina snuck out of her hotel room, leaving Dean to sleep. She hadn't been able to drop off, her mind was a whirl with possibilities of how to get Dean out of his deal and she'd finally come up with one. She'd managed to get the keys for the Impala out of his pocket once he'd dropped into a deep sleep and now she was going to put her idea into action. Making her way to the car, she was unaware she had been seen.
"Hey." The familiar voice startled her.
But she played it cool as she tried to keep the keys from jingling in her pocket, to tip him off. "Hey." She smiled watching him approach from the other side of the car.
"Dean with you?"
"Yeah." She scratched her head nervously. "We were uh…"
He smiled, "That's OK. I don't need to know the details." He stopped her. "So, what you doing out here?"
"I just wanted some air."
Silence fell on them. "You OK?" He asked breaking the awkwardness between them.
She took a deep breath. "Not really."
He frowned, "What's he done?"
"Nothing. It's not him. It's this deal. I can't stop thinking about it."
He raised his eyebrows, "I know how that feels."
"Are you sure there's no way to get him out of it?"
"He won't let me try."
"But, you've got to."
"I know. But it's hard to find something when he's fighting against it so hard."
She sighed, "He doesn't want you to die Sam. You can understand that, can't you?"
"That's the way I feel. But he doesn't get it."
"Maybe there's a way to get him out of the deal without either of you getting dragged in."
Sam frowned, "How?"
She shrugged, "Maybe my Dad'll find a way to save him."
"We haven't found anything yet."
"Well, there's still time." She said dropping her eyes to the floor.
He was immediately suspicious. "Yeah."
Again silence filled the space between them. "Anyway… I'm going to take a walk. Maybe I'll get tired." She said, faking a smile.
Sam watched her walk away; suspicion still rolling around in her head about their particular topic of conversation and it suddenly dawned on him what she was planning.
= X =
The banging on the door took him by surprise, waking him and forcing him to focus. He struggled to put on his boxers on his way to reach the door before another bang shook it. When he pulled it open he came face to face with his younger brother.
"Get dressed. You've got to go after Christina." He announced.
Dean looked back at the bed. He hadn't even realised she was gone. "Where's she gone?" He asked grabbing his jeans and struggling into them as Sam followed him inside.
He sighed, "I think she's gone to make a deal for you at the crossroads."
He frowned, "What? Why do you think that?"
"Because she was talking about a way to save you without either of us getting involved."
"When was this?" He asked putting his shirt over his head.
"Just… I saw her outside with the Impala."
"She took my car?" He demanded in a raised voice.
"No, she took off on foot."
Dean checked his pockets, "She's got my keys."
"We've got to catch up to her before she makes that deal Dean."
He put on his jacket, "I can't believe I've got to hotwire my car again."
But before Sam had a chance to finish his sentence, his brother had gone.
= X =
Christina dug a hole in the centre of the crossroads and buried the tin box filled with all the ingredients to summon the demon, including her picture. She covered it with the loose gravel she'd removed from the road and stood upright to wait. She glanced down every avenue to find no signs of anyone and she sighed. She knew patience was a virtue but she was impetuous.
"Well, what do we have here?" A deep manly voice asked from behind her.
She spun around to face him, trying to hide her fright at his sudden appearance. She noticed instantly that he was handsome, and looked similar to Dean. But she forced herself to remember exactly what was wearing the human body as a suit. "I want to make a deal." She announced coldly.
"Obviously. Why else would you be here?" He asked circling her.
With a roll of her eyes she turned so he was in her eye line again. His flirtatious manner wasn't something she paid mind to; she was focused on getting what she came for. "I want to trade my soul for Dean's."
"Dean Winchester?" He asked for clarification.
He frowned, "Why?"
"I don't need to explain myself to you." She spat out. "Now can you do it, or not?"
"Not?" Dean's masculine voice demanded to the left of her, silencing the crossroads demon.
"Dean, what are you doing here?"
"I'm stopping you from doing something stupid." He responded.
Realisation hit her, "Sam."
"He told me about your little conversation and I'm not going to let you go through with this."
"You don't have a choice. I want to do this."
He shook his head, "I'm not worth it."
"Come back when you're ready to do business." The crossroads demon said over her shoulder before disappearing down the road.
"Do you have any idea how your Dad would feel about this?" Dean laid on the guilt trip.
"He'd get over it Dean."
"I wouldn't." His voice softened. "My Dad's dead because of me. I won't let you sacrifice yourself too."
"Do you understand where you're going? You're not going where there are lollipops and candy canes Dean. Hell isn't going to be a picnic, and for all your bravado I know you're scared."
He approached her, "Yeah, I am. I don't want to die. But do you think living is going to be any better for me if I let you sacrifice yourself?" The question was rhetorical. "CJ, Hell would be a walk in the park compared to what Bobby'd do to me if I let you go through with this."
"I don't care. At least you'd be here." She fought him as tears cascaded down her face.
"But you wouldn't be and I don't want to live if you're not around." He said wrapping his arms around her.
She surrendered to her emotions and broke down in the comfort of his arms. "You're not supposed to die yet. Not like this."
"Better this way than bludgeoned with a crucifix."
She forced herself free of his comforting arms. "What's it going to take for you to be serious about this?"
He pulled a face as he considered his witty response, "Hell to freeze over, and then problem solved." He smiled.
She angrily hit out at him, catching him in the chest with her fist, "Not funny."
He pulled the usual Dean face, dragging down the corners of his mouth as he glanced off to the right, "It's a little funny."
Her jaw dropped open, "Sam's right. What's the point of trying to save you when you clearly don't care?"
He got angry, "Hey, I care OK. But it's me or Sam, those are the options and I'm not about to let my brother die."
"Wow, a reaction – finally."
"What do you want me to do CJ? Stand by and let them win by collecting the soul of people I care about?"
"But they'll win anyway, by you going to Hell."
"No, they won't. Because I'm going to kill as many of the sons of bitches I can while I'm down there."
"Fine! Don't fight this. I give up." She said throwing her hands in the air helplessly.
= The Next Morning =
Sam looked from Dean to Christina and back again as they sat in the local diner eating breakfast. The two hadn't spoken to each other once and the silence was killing him.
"OK, what's going on with you two?" He asked throwing his napkin onto his empty plate.
"Nothing." They replied in unison.
"I get it, you're not talking to each other. I just don't get why. You were pretty friendly last night."
Christina sighed as she folded her arms, "That was before your brother was inconsiderate and stupid."
Dean frowned shooting forward in his chair, "If I was so inconsiderate, I'd have let you go through with that deal." He said. "If anything, you're the one who's stupid."
She cut her eyes at him, "I would've got 10 years Dean, not one."
"You had no right to stop me."
"I had every right."
"It was my decision and I was OK with it."
"Well, I wasn't." He said relaxing back in his seat. "Sam, tell her that no-one else is dying because of me."
"Tell Dean that the offer came and went last night. He obviously wants to be Hell's bitch and I'm not going to stand in his way."
"Good." He said with a raised voice.
"Fine!" She shouted drawing the attention of the other diners. She looked around at them, "Something I can help you with?"
Sam got to his feet, "OK guys, time to go."
= X =
Sam rolled his eyes as they sat in the car on the road back to South Dakota. They'd been driving for two hours and still his companions hadn't spoke. The silence was deafening.
"OK guys, this has got to stop. You're both being childish, and Bobby will pick up on this tension." He said with a sigh.
"She started it." Dean demanded.
"Typical." Christina countered causing the driver to shoot a look in her direction.
"What?" He questioned agitated.
"I just think it's typical of you, to blame someone else when all I wanted to do was help."
"It was stupid and irresponsible."
She shot forward in her seat, "You wanna know why I was going to do it Dean?"
"I know why."
"No, you just think you know why."
"Because… since the first time we slept together I've had a thing for you. I didn't want you to know, so I left. But when I heard about what you'd done for Sam, I had to come back. I wanted you to know. And then I saw you. You were the same Dean that left the house that night, and I couldn't say it. Because I knew that Dean didn't get involved, he just slept with you and took off. I wanted more than that, I've always wanted more than that. But I'm not stupid, I know you're not a roots and normalcy kind of guy so I always put how I felt to the side because being your friend was always better than being nothing to you at all."
He immediately felt guilty. She was laying out her feelings, and he had to do the same. He might not get another opportunity, "You think you know me."
"Are you going to tell me you've changed?" She asked, with her eyebrows raised.
He glanced over at his brother who nodded slightly at him, encouraging him to pull over off the road. Turning off the engine, he looked back at her. "Out the car."
She frowned as she watched him get out and looked at Sam for any inclination of what was to come, but he gave nothing away. Cautiously she did as she was told, checking the road before she opened the door. Despite the daytime hour the road they were travelling down was quiet. Slamming the door behind her, she made her way around the vehicle toward Dean.
"I haven't been completely honest with you." He revealed after a deep breath to gather up the courage. "There are only two women in my life I've ever had feelings for, Cassie and you."
She did a double take, "Say it again, that was my trick ear."
"The reason I've been fighting you this whole time is because I didn't want to get to close."
"You… had feelings for me." She repeated, trying to get it to sink in.
"I should've told you before, but… you know me."
She paced for a while absorbing the information. But she didn't take it as it was intended; she instantly jumped on the defensive. "Wow."
"OK, you don't need to sound so surprised."
"This is a big deal."
"No, it isn't."
"Yes, it is. It proves you have the ability to feel compassion and affection."
"I knew I shouldn't have told you."
"No, really, this is great. I tell you I have feelings for you and you tell me you had feelings for me. So, once again, I'm the one with my heart on the line." She said, tears in her eyes. "Because you're going to die, and I'm going to be stuck here knowing that at least once you felt the way I feel. Fantastic. I can't wait to spent the rest of my life wishing I'd have said something sooner, because maybe it'd have been different."
Dean frowned, "I tell you something like that and you manage to pick a fight. How do you do that?"
"It's a gift." She said, tears streaming down her face. "Now can you take me home please? I'd like to be alone as quick as possible."
Sam frowned at his brother as they climbed in the car and realised she was crying. But Dean silently signalled that he'd explain once they were alone as he started the car and got back to the journey.
I am now publishing this story… please see my profile for information on where to purchase it if you'd like a copy.
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