A/N: okay, this is definitely the crackiest thing I ever came up with, but the idea just hit me while I was doing a test this morning (I was SO focused on it XD) and it just wouldn't leave me alone. In my defence, I can say that I was sugar high, had one of the worst hangovers i ever had and have fever. And, uh...no, I have nothing else to say in my defence XD
Shego huffed in annoyance, nervously tapping her foot as she typed the access code to the lair and waited to the door to open. Why do things always take more time to get done when you're in a hurry anyway? Thankfully her hair-stylist hadn't minded having to wait a little before she paid - she was one of her best clients after all. It wasn't like Shego had any moral issues with getting away without paying, but that was the best hair stylist around, and she didn't want to lose the opportunity of going there for something that stupid.
"It was about time," she muttered to no one in particular as the door finally opened, allowing her inside. The lair was unusually quiet without the constant beeping and buzzing of some machine, which surprised her. She knew the lair would be pretty much empty since all the henchmen had gotten a free day - she wouldn't have been there herself if she hadn't been stupid enough to forget her wallet in there and only notice at least three hours after she had left - but she knew that Drakken usually spent the week-end working on some invention or scheme that he would try out on Monday just to have it thwarted by Kimmie, so the lack of noise surprised her.
He was probably watching some stupid soap opera in his room, she thought with a shrug, or else he was still sulking for his last defeat by the hands of Kim Possible. Oh, well, it wasn't her problem anyway, she thought as she stopped in the middle of the room, trying to recall where she had left her wallet. Okay, she had drank some juice right before getting out, leaving her bag and stuff on the kitchen counter, so it was probably still--
She blinked as she stopped in her tracks on the doorway, her hand still on the handle, her eyes widening slightly before she got her control back and raise an eyebrow as she looked at the dishes that were still on the table. Okay, that would be unusual anyway - Dr. D usually ate his meals in the lab as well, since he rarely felt like setting the table and had little time to lose anyway - but that wasn't the only reason why she was so surprised. The reason why she had stopped on her tracks was that the table not only was settled, but it was settled for two, and it was clear that it had been at least two people to eat there.
"Looks like Dr. D got himself a date," she muttered, then she chuckled to herself t the thought - a date, Dr. D? Yeah, right, she thought as she grabbed her wallet - which was on the counter, just as she had expected. It was probably his mother paying him visit, nothing more. How could someone who spent all his spare time cooped up in his lair to work on some scheme for world domination ever have a chance to get a date?
However, she frowned a little as she glanced at the table again - there was something wrong, she thought, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what…
It's the wine - there is a bottle of wine there, see? An empty one, so Dr. D and…whoever was with him had had quite a few drinks. And you do remember what his mother thinks of any kind of drink with more alcohol than orange juice, right? I really, really doubt it was with her he spent the evening...
"Ugh," Shego shuddered a little at the thought, quickly getting out of the kitchen and glancing around to make sure nobody was around - she really, really didn't like the idea of walking on Drakken and…whoever he had brought to the lair. Okay, maybe she was a little curious (euphemism of the century), she admitted to herself as she took a few steps closer to the bedrooms area, listening intently - just to hear if anyone was coming, of course, so she could get out before they could see her and--
She blinked as she stepped onto something soft, and her her mouth hung open for a few moments as she glanced down to see what she had just stepped onto - Drakken's lab coat. She stared at it for a few more moments before recollecting. Of course, did she expect him to be wearing that coat for a…date? He had surely changed his clothes, and he was just careless enough to throw that on the ground and forget about it: Shego was pretty sure he was the kind of guy who had his mother running after him to get things back on place for him his whole life.
That reassuring certainty - the certainty that he had simply changed his clothes, not the certainty that his mother had been picking up his stuff way past the moment he got old enough to shave - was however shattered as her gaze fell on another heap of clothes. For a moment she thought it was the uniform of some henchman that had forgotten it there rather than getting it back in their closet, but a closer inspection revealed that no, that wasn't an henchman's uniform. She had seen that brown and red outfit too many times to mistake it for any another.
No, no, no - wait a freaking minute. There is no way, absolutely no way--
Her thoughts were however interrupted as her gaze fell on two more items on the ground - two object that simply couldn't be confused with anyone else's. There was only one person she knew about that was known for having skulls on his underwear, and definitely only one person that wore that helmet over his head. She stared down at it for a couple of minutes before she managed to make her brain work enough to think again.
…okay, maybe it wasn't the most meaningful thought that had ever crossed her mind, but it was something. It was very rare for her to be speechless, but that was one of those moments.
How about getting out of here? How about…now? You know, before you end up walking in your employer while he's busy with his supposed rival…
The thought alone was enough to make her shudder. "I'm outta here," she muttered, turning to the door, but she froze as she suddenly heard two familiar voices growing louder as their owners quickly approached, and just the way they kept laughing after every sentence they managed to put together was enough to tell they surely had more than just one bottle of wine.
"And your face vhen I told you ze vortex vould be of the size of the state of Nevada…!"
"…and we were in Nevada," Drakken laughed as they turned the corner "man, wasn't that a real--" the blue skinned scientist suddenly trailed off as he saw Shego standing in the middle of the room, staring at both him and Dementor with the wide-eyed gaze of a hare caught in the headlights.
"Shego!"Drakken sputtered, his blue face tuning into an interesting shade of purplish red both because of the wine he had had and because of the awkwardness of the situation…well, at least they did have the bathrobes on "what…?"
He had no time to add anything else before Shego bolted to the door. "Sorry-I-forgot-something-gotta-go-now-bye," she blurted out , typing the opening code as fast as her fingers allowed her, and in a matter of instants she was on her car and as far as she could get from the lair in that short time.
Dementor blinked as the automatic door closed again with a faint buzzing and glanced up at Drakken, who was still staring at the spot where Shego had been standing moments before, his mouth hanging open. "So," he said quietly "I take it you didn't tell ze fraulein, did you?"