James really hated the side effects of being shot. First there was the pain, then there was the trip to the hospital which smelled too much like cleaning products and then there was the fact the doctors never wanted to let him leave when he wanted to. He had wanted out ever since he had woken up but the doctors were trying to make him stay. So he, Stacy and Cactus had been screaming and fighting with everyone they could until the doctors finally agreed to draw up papers for his early release. Sure, he had to sign a waiver that said he and his family couldn't sue the hospital if anything happened, but that was fine with him. They had more important things to do than sue the hospital.
"Are we going home after this?" Stacy asked. She was laying on the bed with him, her head resting on his shoulder.
James shook his head. "No. After all this shit, I need a vacation. I'm talking a good old fashion vacation where we can kill people in peace, not one where we're trying to kill crazy FBI agents who are trying to kill us."
"That's the best news I've heard all day," Miz said as he and Jeff entered the room. For some odd reason, Jeff was wearing Morrison's coat.
"Morrison's dead," Jeff said. "And I'm covered with blood. We have to hide the blood so the nurses don't freak out. Beth's dead too. I'm sad. Jeffey very sad."
"Oh, so you're sad again?" Miz asked in surprise. "Because just a few minutes ago you were playing with the toy you got from Burger King."
James shook his head. It was a shame to hear about Morrison and Beth. "But it's over right? All the dirty FBI bastards are dead, right?"
Miz shook his head. "Mark was alive when Glenn took him away."
"And he's here in the hospital," Cactus said. "I saw him when I went to go get a candy bar for Barbie."
Stacy sighed. "Honey, you can't feed a barbed wire bat candy."
"Well I did anyway."
The conversation died off as the doctor came back with James's release papers. James ignored the doctor's pleas to stay longer and signed on the dotted line. "Somebody help get me in a damn wheelchair," he ordered. "I want to go see dear old Mark before we leave."
Jeff grabbed Cactus's hand and started dragging him out of the room. "Come on Jack! Last one to Mark is a rotten egg!"
"Hey, that's not fair!" Miz whined. He started trying to run after them.
"GET BACK OVER HERE AND HELP ME DAMN IT!" James yelled. He could not just rely on Stacy to help him. She wasn't strong enough to cart his ass out of bed. "I just got shot you asshole! At least act like you care."
Miz pouted. "You're an asshole. I'm going to be the rotten egg and they'll make fun of me for the rest of the night."
"I make fun of you all the time! Now quit whining and make yourself useful before I shove my foot up your ass."
Jeff was amused to see Glenn guarding Mark like a faithful dog. "Woof woof woof!" he barked. He took his lighter back out and held it out towards Glenn. The larger man remembered what happened back at John's house and he backed off in a hurry. "Glenn's scared of the fire," Jeff said in a sing song voice.
Mark opened his eyes to glare at Jeff. "You…"
"Hi," Jeff said cheerfully. "How you doing buddy?"
"You bastard. You stabbed me with a fucking unicorn."
"On the bright side though, you'll probably look back at this someday and laugh," Cactus said.
Now Mark glared at him.
"Okay, maybe not."
Jeff cocked his head to the side. "Aw, do you still want to kill me Marky?"
"You stabbed me with a unicorn and helped push me out a window. What do you think I want to do to you?"
Jeff giggled. Mark was funny when he was angry and unable to do anything about it. "Well you can try to kill me, but I'm like herpes: I always come back." He smacked Mark on his stab wound and ran out of the room. Stacy, Miz and a wheelchair bound James were talking to a half black, half Samoan guy wearing sunglasses. "Ooohh, me like," Jeff said. He took the sunglasses off the man's face and put them on himself.
The man glared at him. "Don't do that you jabroni."
James shook his head. "Jeff, this is Dwayne Johnson. He was my first wife's cousin. I guess Stacy here called him after I got stabbed and he's been out trying to collect everyone's bodies. I think it's time we had ourselves a little funeral."
Jeff cocked his head to the side. "How did you get everyone's bodies?"
Dwayne shrugged. "I've got connections. Anyway, the bodies are going to New Orleans, just like Stacy said they should."
"Wait, why New Orleans?" Miz asked. "What the hell is down there?"
"The Voodoo Queen," Stacy said cryptically.
James grinned. "Good old Roxxi Laveaux. I haven't seen her in forever." He frowned. "She will want an offering though, won't she?"
Stacy nodded. "She always does."
"Well I've got Beth and Morrison's bodies sitting in my car," Miz said. "Shouldn't we put them somewhere before they stink the whole thing up?"
"We can put them in the back of my truck," Dwayne said. "Between all of us and the offerings we have to get for Roxxi, we're not going to have enough room in one car."
Jeff grinned. "Does that mean you're coming with us?"
"Yeah, I need a vacation too."
"Can I keep your sunglasses then?"
"No." Dwayne took the sunglasses off of Jeff's face. "You can't touch these anymore. They are mine."
"You suck. I might kill you in your sleep."
Dwayne realized Jeff wasn't joking and gave the sunglasses back to the Rainbow Haired Madman. "That's what I thought," Jeff said in satisfaction.
James grinned. "Well now that we got that settled, let's get going. We've got people to kidnap, people to kill and a Voodoo Queen to see."
"Hey, can she make zombies?" Miz asked as they headed towards the exit. "Because that would be awesome."
"Yeah, because you're the only one without a brain they can eat," Jeff said. He suddenly grinned. "Hey, if I ate somebody's brain, would I be a zombie?"
"No," Stacy said. "That would just make you a cannibal, and that is just gross."
"Oh. Well I'm going to pretend to be a zombie anyway." He held his arms out in front of him and started marching around really slowly. "I am a zombie!" he said in a deep voice. "I will eat your brains!"
James just sighed. "Oh boy. This is going to be one long ride."