Author's Note: I want to thank all of you for reviewing and also a special thanks to Wide Spread Panic for inspiring this prank. PLEASE REVIEW!! :D
Two months. It had been two months since Femme-bot aka "Ironhide" had been publicly humiliated, courtesy of the troublesome twins. Optimus had to keep the peace amongst his soldiers and managed to succeed this long. Usually he would have needed Prowl's help. The tactician was the one who usually kept order amidst the chaos that usually resulted from the twin's antics. Locking them in the brig kept them out of trouble for a while. But even so, they couldn't keep them locked up forever.
"Thank Primus…this is finally finished."
Optimus Prime was finally able to relax after completing the last of his reports. The decepticons were currently inactive, remaining hidden until their numbers grew. The attack on the oil rig in which Jazz scared them all off was due in large part by sheer desperation since their energon stash had gotten too low.
The autobot leader was going to take advantage of the peace for however long it lasted.
He returned to his quarters to recharge, unaware that the next day was about to turn his life upside down.
Wheeljack was putting the finishing touches on a new invention.
"So far…so good"
He was relieved when nothing short circuited or blew up in his face. After soldering the last wire, he placed the outer casing on it and stepped back to admire it.
Jazz happened to be walking by and paused, mid-step when he saw through the blast proof windows, what the inventor was working on. His curiosity got the better of him and he had to know what it was, ignoring his paranoia of explosions once he stepped foot through the door.
The scientist looked up and smiled.
"I've completed it!"
The inventor held the device up proudly, for the saboteur to inspect. It was about the size of a human laptop…which was actually rather small for a transformer but shaped into a dome-like apparatus. Jazz stared at it a good minute until he looked back up into the smiling face of his comrade.
"Yeah…but, what does it do?"
Wheeljack frowned and looked back down at the little machine.
"I have to test it first but if it works, I'll tell you. Would you care to observe?"
Jazz hastily shook his head and stepped away, walking backwards towards the door.
"No thanks…I have to go."
"Stop by any time!"
With that said, Jazz fled leaving the scientist to his project.
Wheeljack sighed and shook his head sadly. It was a shame no one else held the same enthusiasm for science as he did.
Oh well, time to test it out. Wheeljack stepped behind a blast-proof energy shield set up near a control console and held the remote in his hand. He flipped the switch and frowned when nothing happened. He punched the backup button another five times but received the same result.
"That's strange…I was sure I calibrated the molecular modulator right."
The autobot engineer stepped out from behind his shield and cautiously approached his device. He glanced around to see if anyone else was watching and then poked it. Still…nothing happened.
Wheeljack was so very thankful it was nothing instead of a disastrous something.
He walked back over to his work table and picked up the data-pad with the schematics and re-traced every step. His optics widened when he realized what he had done wrong. He had accidentally crossed two little wires and soldered them in the wrong places.
Instead of building a hydro-regenerator meant to aid the humans in keeping a consistent filter for a clean water supply, had built something completely different.
The inventor picked up his device and knew it was time for a little help from his droid assistant, one that he had built centuries ago to help him with his clean-up efforts after another fall-out from an experiment gone wrong. It was a basic robot with no spark but enough intelligence to have a small degree of free will. He called his creation "Buster". Originally, he wanted to call him "Blaster" since it fit rather well with all of the explosions he was always cleaning up after but had to scrap the name after learning that there was an autobot with that same designation already.
His voice command caused a reaction from the recharging droid. Its optics lit up, glowing yellow in the dim lighting. The robot rolled forward on its treads and stopped expectantly in front of Wheeljack.
The scientist took the device and after adjusting it a little, made it stick to his robot buddy's chest. He manually activated it, looking apologetically at Buster and stepped away.
"If this explodes…I just want you to know, that I will rebuild you."
He patted the droid's head and picked up a remote microphone and tested it.
"Buster…put your hands behind your head."
The robot did as commanded.
Wheeljack thought for a moment.
He almost always obeys me anyway. Buster probably isn't going to be the best candidate for testing. The device did not overload or explode which means that this can be tested on another individual. Hmmm…but who shall it be?
As he stood there thinking he noticed that Buster still had his hands behind his head.
"Buster, disregard my last command."
Buster dropped his arms to his sides and remained where he was.
Wheeljack removed the hardware and sub-spaced the items quickly, before anyone happened to walk by and see it.
"Buster, return to your station and resume your original directive."
The robot rolled back into place in the corner and resumed its recharge.
Wheeljack returned to his desk and tried to figure out who in the autobot ranks would be the most appropriate candidate for experimentation. He ruled out Jazz and Bumblebee…Ironhide would never agree. Ratchet may approve if he knew that it was already deemed safe. Optimus was probably too busy and the twins…
Now there was an idea. Perhaps he could test it on them. No one would object to their brief absence from duties if it was for a worthy cause. He smiled as he consulted his data-pad, already formulating options.
Little did the scientist know… that the target had already been selected.
The twins finally got off shift and returned to their quarters, feeling extremely bored. The whole base was too quiet and too boring for their tastes.
"Hey…maybe we should leave the base and lure the Cons out of hiding. Screamer is entertainment enough to brighten our dull, dark lives."
"Jet-Judo…we are both kind of rusty on that, wouldn't you say brother dearest?"
Sunstreaker shot his brother a dirty look at the term 'dearest'.
"You sicken me."
"What? Where is the love, bro?"
Sideswipe snickered evilly.
Sunstreaker sat down on his recharge berth and inspected his plasma rifle. The thing was getting dusty for crying out loud!
"Maybe we should blow this joint and go have some fun."
Sideswipe leaned on his desk and nodded his head in enthusiasm.
"The thing is the others won't like it if we start a fight with the Cons."
Sunstreaker paused in polishing his weapon and looked up at his twin.
"Who said we were going to start it?"
"Well…Prime would say that to aggravate them into attacking first, is generally considered 'starting it' since we provoked them."
"So…they are the ones to make the first move, so technically…they are the ones who started it, not us."
Sideswipe looked stunned but then grinned widely.
"Wow Sunny…you sounded so….so intelligent just now. I'm so proud of you…"
Sunstreaker threw the dusty polishing cloth at his face, making Sideswipe choke on the dust.
The red twin frowned and reached into his desk to pull out a clean cloth to wipe off his face but pulled out a stack of papers instead. His optics lit up in recognition and he ran excitedly to his brother.
He shoved the papers in Sunstreaker's face.
"What is it now?"
The yellow twin looked at the papers and his optics took on that same evil glow, matching his brother's perfectly.
"I had forgotten all about this!"
"Forget leaving the base, when we can make it far more interesting, right here."
"You said it, bro. Let's get to it."
They first turned on their own mini cameras placed strategically throughout the base and panned through them, spotting Optimus entering his quarters.
"Bingo…now we need to find Wheeljack."
They found not just him…but just the thing they needed within the confines of his lab.
They left their room, no longer bored or tired and put on their innocent facades, which didn't look innocent at all. If anything, they looked down right mischievous...if not a little sinister. They passed Jazz in the hallway. They were acting a little too happy for his liking.
"Wha' are you two slag-heads up to this time?"
"Jazz…it's called 'getting high on life' as the humans call it. You should try it sometime…it's good for the spark."
Sideswipe snickered and hi-fived his brother and they left Jazz behind. The elite saboteur shook his head and groaned.
"This can't be good."
He looked both ways before running after them, curious to see what they were up to. He ran into Ratchet who was looking about as distrustful and paranoid as red alert usually was.
"Hey doc…wha's the matta'?"
His expression shifted turning into one of morbid curiosity.
"Those two glitches are up to something…and I intend to find out what."
"I'll join you."
They followed after the twins, keeping silent and unnoticed.
They stopped just outside of Wheeljack's lab and only one twin went in while the other stayed behind.
"What's he doing?"
"He's jus'…standin' there."
"That doesn't make any sense—oh Primus…I think I know what they are doing."
Ratchet sighed and placed a hand over his face.
Jazz perked up.
"What…what are they doin'?"
"They are going to bot-nap—"
The CMO didn't have a chance to finish when they heard a shriek register from Wheeljack's lab. Moments later, Sideswipe walked out dragging the scientist behind him in an energy net.
"Stop screaming and stop struggling or we will have to do bad things to you," Sunstreaker threatened.
Wheeljack immediately shut up, staring at them in trepidation.
"Why, are you doing this to me?"
"We need you to help us."
A moment of silence passed before Wheeljack answered.
"Then why didn't you just ask?"
"You mean…you would have come with us willingly?"
"That would have been much easier than doing all of this," Wheeljack reasoned while gesturing to both them and the net he was currently stuck in.
The twins stared at the inventor with disbelieving expressions.
Ratchet and Jazz's positions were nearly given away when they choked on their own laughter.
"So can you please let me out now?"
Sideswipe eyed the scientist suspiciously.
"How do we know that you won't run off on us?"
Wheeljack sighed, seeing no other way out of it.
"I promise to help you if you free me. Do we have a deal?"
The twins freed him and Sideswipe shook hands with the engineer, grinning evilly.
"We have a deal."
They led the scientist back through the base until they arrived at Wheeljack's quarters. No need to draw too much unwanted attention if they took the scientist back to their room as a prisoner.
"So that's the plan."
"It's that simple?"
"All we need is that device you worked on to make our plan work."
"What device?" He played stupid.
"Don't act innocent with me, we saw the device you built…and we have a good idea on what it does."
"But…b-but how could you have seen it? No one was around!"
"We have our ways," Sunstreaker snickered wickedly.
Frag, these two are relentless.
Wheeljack sat silent for a moment and then proceeded to take out his device from sub-space with a long suffering sigh.
"Just so you two know…I had nothing to do with this."
"Of course you did…we shook on it," Sideswipe's optics narrowed as his voice took on a dangerous edge.
"And we have the video evidence to prove it," Sunstreaker waved his data-pad in Wheeljack's direction. The yellow twin raised the volume so that Wheeljack's consent could be heard in the room, "I promise to help you if you free me. Do we have a deal?"
Sunstreaker replayed it another three times just to make his point. Wheeljack frowned, not at all happy with their blackmail.
"You do realize that Prime will have all of our heads for this?"
"Not unless we have his head first."
Wheeljack shrank back, grimacing at the term usage. It sounded more like a bloody assassination plot than a simple prank.
"Sweet Primus…what have I gotten myself into," Wheeljack groaned in despair, realizing just how deep he was right now.
"Fine, I'm in since I have no other choice. If you want my help, you have to let me test it on one of you."
Sunstreaker and Sideswipe shared a glance and looked back at the inventor with mischievous looking optics.
"Oh…I think we have a better idea."
"You wouldn't…" Wheeljack's optics widened when he immediately knew what they intended.
"Why not, you built it."
"You can't be serious!"
"The way I see it…there are two of us and only one of you."
Wheeljack scrambled for the door, shrieking for help.
The twins were way ahead of him and dragged him back, kicking and screaming.
"No…please, I'm begging you! You don't know how to operate this correctly, if it malfunctions…" Wheeljack trailed off weakly, not sure how to persuade them. It seemed as if they already had their minds made up as Sideswipe held him down. Sunstreaker placed the device on Wheeljack's chest compartment below his spark and activated it.
Wheeljack's optics immediately dimmed and his struggling stopped. He sat up robotically and stared mindlessly ahead of him.
Sideswipe grabbed the microphone and spoke into it.
"Wheeljack…punch Sunstreaker in the face."
Sunstreaker scrambled away and ran around in circles as the inventor chased him around the room.
The yellow twin screamed at his brother, vowing vengeance just as the inventor tackled him. He followed the order and punched Sunny in the face. Sideswipe stared in shock and looked down at the microphone in his hand as if it was the most precious jewel in the universe.
"Wheeljack, stand at attention."
The inventor stood at attention rigidly, still mindless.
"This is kind of creepy. Creepy but cool."
Sunstreaker rubbed his face in pain and leaped for his brother, snatching the remote from his hand. He combat rolled to the other side of the room and looked at his brother in triumph.
"Wheeljack, I order you to kick my brother's aft!!"
The mind controlled scientist turned his head slowly and looked right at Sideswipe.
Sideswipe's optics widened and he shook his head.
"Don't do it Wheeljack! NO!"
Now it was Sideswipe's turn to run while his brother stood on the sidelines laughing maniacally.
"BAD SCIENTIST! STOP!"
Sideswipe landed in a crumpled heap, in a corner of the room as Wheeljack's foot finally made contact with his aft.
The red twin quickly recovered and lunged at his brother, both of them fighting over the microphone and shouting too many conflicting commands into it, making Wheeljack twitch and spasm.
The over-ride device began to malfunction and smoke poured out of it. The twins stopped their fighting and stared at it with fear shining in their optics.
The device short circuited, freeing Wheeljack from the twin's control. His optics returned to normal and he rubbed his head in confusion.
"What…what just happened?"
The twins laughed nervously, Sunstreaker hiding the microphone behind his back.
"N-nothing…nothing at all"
"Then…why is my device ruined?!"
Wheeljack popped it off of his chest and frantically looked it over. He shot a glare at the twins and pointed a finger at his door, commanding them with one word.
They slunk out of his quarters and sat on either side of his door, waiting for him to fix it.
"This is all, your fault"
"Yeah, you made him punch me in my face, you coward!!"
"So…you didn't get your aft literally kicked, either!"
"I hate you"
"I hate you more"
"You shut up, pain in the aft"
A few more minutes of bickering and then the door was suddenly opened. The twins immediately forgot about their feud between each other and stood up. Wheeljack stepped tiredly out and handed the device and microphone to them.
"Take it…and leave. Please."
"Did you fix it?"
Wheeljack sent a glare that could melt ice right at them.
"No questions asked. Take it or leave it."
Wheeljack's door slid shut again, locking the twins out into the hallway.
"I guess he did do his part."
"Looks like we are on our own"
They returned to their quarters and waited until the rest of the base retired for the night. In the dark they crept down the halls and hacked a certain door code, gaining entrance to their last target's quarters.
::Okay, you administer the sedative::
Sunstreaker crept forward and his hand shook nervously above their victim's arm. He looked back at his brother, both of their blue optics glowing in the dark.
::I don't think I can, Sides::
Sideswipe took the syringe from his brother and did the deed himself. Watching Ratchet do this a million times paid off…their victim didn't feel a thing and remained in deep recharge.
Sunstreaker took the device and installed it beneath the chest plating. They crept out after accomplishing their deed, eager to see the end results the next morning.
Optimus Prime walked to the conference room, calling all of his personnel to a briefing. Starscream threatened to destroy the White House if they did not give in to his demands…which were namely a large supply of energon and weapons. As if the autobots were really going to give it to them…
Well, that is what they were going to argue about within the next three minutes. Optimus took his place at the head of the table and waited as the autobots filed in one by one. He frowned when he noticed that one of the twins was missing. He looked directly at Sideswipe.
"Where is Sunstreaker?"
"He is running a little late, but he should be here soon," Sideswipe struggled to keep a straight face.
Sunstreaker was actually already there…hiding under the table with the microphone already up to his mouth. Sideswipe triggered the remote turning the device on and Optimus's optics flickered a moment and he stood up as if his chair was on fire.
The others looked at him with concern, Ratchet the first to speak up.
"Sir…are you okay?"
Before he had the chance to speak, Sunstreaker whispered instructions.
Optimus knelt down on one knee in front of Ironhide and held his datapad up to him as if it were a ring.
"My one and only love...you are the most beautiful femme I have ever laid my optics on...will you marry my father's-mother's-grandson's-brother?"
Wheeljack shook his head, rolling his optics. At least he had made sure that their victim would be completely aware of what they were doing to him after fixing and altering his device. He kind of regretted allowing the twins to also control what Prime said as well as did. He was going to burn for this...he just knew it.
Optimus suddenly stopped and began to sing and dance first doing the 'Macarena' and then the 'cha-cha'. Everyone was staring at him in disbelief the younger autobots…namely Bumblebee and Sideswipe were already laughing their heads off.
Next Optimus grabbed Ironhide, pulling the trigger happy mech up with him, singing obnoxiously.
"Somewheeeeeeeere…over the rainbooooooowwwwww!!!!"
Ironhide struggled to free himself but Optimus held on to him, forcing his weapons specialist to waltz with him around the room.
Now Jazz and Wheeljack were laughing. Ratchet seemed to be the only serious one left in the room and he glared at the others as their commanding officer was so blatantly disrespected.
Sunstreaker crawled out of his hiding place from under the table and laughed maniacally as he then commanded Optimus to do one more thing.
"Optimus…I now order you to imitate a chicken."
Ratchet's optics narrowed dangerously when he saw the yellow twin controlling his leader from across the room. He climbed up onto the table and ran at him and leapt through the air. He landed on both the twin and the microphone, destroying any chance of forcing the Commander to do anything else against his will.
Sunstreaker and Sideswipe whined when their fun was ruined.
"Now look what you did, Hatchet!"
"Good job, sucking the fun out of everything!"
Ratchet raised a hand threatening to whack them in the head.
Optimus Prime stopped impersonating a chicken, and sent a chilling glare at the twins that rivaled that of Megatron himself. His voice was steely calm although beneath it you could hear venomous rage if you listened closely enough.
"You two…are confined to quarters until a worthy punishment has been approved. Dismissed"
Sideswipe managed to get two words in edgewise before they ran from the room.
The twins sulked and left the others to debate amongst themselves.
Ratchet scanned Optimus and found the device beneath his chest armor and removed it.
"I believe I know just the thing, sir."
Optimus raised an eye ridge.
Jazz and Ratchet volunteered to help Wheeljack set up the twin's 'punishment'.
"I think they will learn a valuable lesson, don't you?"
Two days later…
The twins were gifted with an over-ride device of their own and for a week, were controlled by their fellows. Forced to do all sorts of menial tasks against their will…and forced to serve as their comrades' entertainment.
Sideswipe glanced at Sunstreaker as they were currently forced to do a human dance called 'the robot'.
::Hey bro, let's be positive. At least we have completed phase four of our plan…right?::
Sunstreaker was forced to smack himself in the face with his own fist while Jazz laughed his aft off while screaming, "Stop hitting yo'self!!" over and over again while he controlled his movements.
::You want to know what I say? This is far from over. We will have our revenge yet again!::
::Actually…we can't really avenge ourselves again since we implemented phase four of our revenge::
Sunstreaker growled as he was forced to do the 'can-can' as Ironhide made him dance like a girly-girl. The trigger happy mech looked like he was enjoying this far too much.
::I hate my life::
::I hate yours too…wanna trade?::
Their optics locked and despite the situation, laughter could be seen in them. Sideswipe had to agree with his brother though. This was far from over.
As a matter of fact…it had only just begun.
A/N: Please review!! And let me know if you would like a sequel to this story. :D Thanks again for being awesome readers and reviewers! Oh yeah...I will give a large energon cake to the first reviewer to correctly tell me who Optimus's "father's-mother's-grandson's-brother" is!!