Title: Rules of Engagement
Rating: PG-13 for adult situations
Summary: How Chuck & Blair keep their relationship interesting affects everyone around them. No real spoilers, just general season 2.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Gossip Girl.
Word Count: About 1,000 each
A/N – Special thanks to Tati, my always wonderful Beta.
~ Be Nice to Brooklyn ~
"You're late," she snapped, glaring at him as she entered the limo. She heard him sigh behind her as he slid in and closed the door.
"I could blame it on Serena," he conceded, smiling as he took in her strapless dress.
"Won't work. She's been texting me from Brooklyn," she grimaced, and he nodded.
"Well at least she's alive," he smiled charmingly.
"You're still late, and you know what that means, right?" She asked innocently.
He growled. "Give me a break, Waldorf!"
She smirked, taking in his exasperation. He did look handsome in his fine black suit and the little yellow bowtie that matched her dress.
"Rules are rules, Bass, and we are no one to break them," she chided.
"We break them all the damn time!" He was staring at her wide-eyed, but she just blinked back innocently.
"Not this time. You know what you have to do." Her smile was fiery syrup, and he nearly pouted.
"Aww! We're going to have such a good time!" And she was kissing him. As a consolation prize, of course.
Forty-five minutes later ,she nearly had to drag him to play out his sentencing. Serena brightened when she saw them, nudging Dan, who paled slightly when he saw them approach.
"Serena!" They air kissed.
"You guys made it!" Serena smiled, looking stunning in her backless Versace. Blair turned to Chuck and smirked at him. Chuck was glowering at Dan, who was confused by the sudden attention.
"Chuck…" she started, nodding happily at him.
Chuck's nostrils flared slightly. "Humphrey," he nodded finally, and Dan blinked.
"Bass," he returned the greeting, still confused.
"So… How's the weather in Brooklyn?" Chuck ground out.
"Ehhh…" Dan looked at Blair, then at Serena, seeking an explanation. Serena smiled encouragingly. "It's… The same as here."
Serena giggled and planted a happy kiss on Dan, making Chuck roll his eyes and Blair cast him a dark look.
"But thanks for asking," Dan continued, now flushed and still as confused as ever.
"No problem," Chuck spat.
All four stared at one another uncomfortably.
"Nice shoes." Chuck continued making Dan gulp. "Pierre Hardy?"
Dan looked down at his shoes, still confused. "Umm… No. Payless. But, you know, I'm sure they're just like Hardy's."
Chuck attempted a smile, but it came out as a grimace. He looked pleadingly at Blair.
Blair avoided his eyes, looking innocently at the crowd of people.
Chuck sighed, clearly annoyed. "I need a drink."
Blair watched him stalk away with a happy, satisfied smile on her face.
"Ok, what is going on?" Dan demanded.
Blair sighed, happy with herself. "He broke a rule. One of the punishments is to be nice to a Brooklynite."
Dan gaped. "You two bet on us."
"All the time," Blair countered, as if it were plainly obvious.
"Have you two actually attempted a normal relationship?" Dan ventured.
Blair puffed. "And fall into monotony? Please, that's why you two are here."
"Rules are rules, Waldorf, and we are no one to break them." His smile was just as slick as hers had been a few weeks before. If her little brown eyes could kill anyone, he would surely be dead by now.
"I hate you," she snapped.
"Of course you do, now run off like a good girl and get dressed," he smirked.
Her little nostrils flared and he heard her stomp all the way upstairs as Dorota followed dutifully behind her.
Forty-five minutes later, she descended the stairs, her head held high like the queen she was. He heard Cyrus laugh next to him.
"You two have fun, and don't come back too late," Eleanor nodded.
"Oh, let them!" Cyrus cried happily.
"If we're not back by 1am, call the police," Blair replied sardonically. Eleanor's eyebrows shot up to her hairline.
"Don't be silly, Blair. It's Brooklyn. Not Ho Chi Minh," Chuck chuckled and led her to the elevator as she pouted behind him. She refused to look at him all the way down and didn't let him hold her hand. All this he brushed off with a chuckle. She looked like she had been sentenced to death, and even wore a deep black dress to prove it. He was surprised she hadn't worn a dark veil with a matching embroidered hankie.
When the limo pulled up to the bar, she took her time, touching up her makeup. He watched in amusement as she slipped on long gloves that hit her elbows.
He raised a brow, but she simply shrugged.
"I hear there's a hepatitis scare," she explained, and he bit back a laugh at her antics.
His eyes brightened as he took in his bar and led her inside, despite her attempt to drag her feet. He spotted Nate and Vanessa in a moment and waved over to them, pulling Blair with him.
Nate and Vanessa took in Blair's somber outfit and bit back a laugh. Chuck turned a slick smile to Blair and blinked innocently at her.
Blair scowled and turned to look at Vanessa, suddenly pasting a fake smile on her face, one which made the girl reel back.
"Vanessa," she started. "You look lovely."
Vanessa's brows furrowed. "Thank you… So do you. Do you have a wake later?"
Blair's eyes narrowed sharply, and Chuck cleared his throat. She cast him a dark look, then planted another smile on her face.
"You guys did a great job with the place," she commented, and Vanessa and Nate exchanged looks. Chuck's Cheshire smile grew wider. "It looks so… So… You know… You."
Nate let out a small laugh, and then cleared his throat. "Yes, well, we wanted to make sure we pleased our investor." And he nodded at Chuck.
"I need a drink," Blair announced suddenly.
"Ummm… Bar's that way." Vanessa pointed behind them, and Blair swiftly made her way there.
Chuck watched her retreat with a satisfied look on his face.
"Ok… What game are you two playing?" Nate started, and Vanessa shook her head in disbelief.
"You need not worry." Chuck studied Blair as she demanded a drink from the bartender.
"Have you two tried to have a normal relationship? Like movies, dinner?" Vanessa ventured, still scandalized.
Chuck smirked and winked at her. "What would be the fun in that?" He then decided to rescue his best bartender from the wrath of Blair Waldorf as he had accidentally made her a vodka martini.
These are a series of little bits of C/B being non-coupley couples.