Jurassic Park III
Disclaimer: Please don't sue. I don't own *insert fandom name from above*... All I own is an overactive imagination.
Summary: Alan/Billy pre-slash. Billy centric fic about the aftermath of JP3.
Word Count: 2,279
Day 13 of "22 new fandoms in 22 days." Calendar link up in my
So, I watched the movie yesterday for the first time, like really watched it, and I cannot believe how much slash possibility is in that stupid movie. It wasn't even that good in terms of Jurassic Parks, but still.
Story note: Just a one shot since all I have are half-formed ideas in my head (But how the world of slash has been expanded!). Some angst (since I always tend towards it).
By: Lucifer Rosemaunt
At the time, Billy had thought that he was going to die. Actually, he hadn't just thought it. He'd known the second that he'd snapped that buckle in front of his chest that he was dead. After all, how does one compete with pteranodons with only a parachute?
What he hadn't known was exactly how painful those beaks could be or the fact that he would be slammed against the side of a cliff before almost drowning repeatedly. Still, even if he had known, it wouldn't have been a difficult decision for him. He'd do it again.
He'd gone to save the kid for several reasons. He'd been the one carrying the parachute in the first place and was the only one who knew how to use it properly. There really had been no other way to be able to reach Erik, and they'd been short on time to come up with any other plan. Just maybe, Billy had thought that he could redeem himself. He thought he could erase the mistake he'd made by taking those raptor eggs even though he knew it was impossible. Alan held onto grudges for life – the dinosaurs even knew that much. So, when it came down to it, the main reason he'd jumped off the platform had been because he'd been the most expendable person in their group.
They'd travelled all the way here to save Erik. He was just a boy; he didn't deserve to die so soon after having survived so long on this island. The Kirby couple needed to live, if not for being good people – they had lied to them – then for the fact that they were good parents who'd simply lost their way. They'd been through so much already that Billy knew they shouldn't have to suffer any more; they should be a family. And Alan… they needed Alan to find a way off this island, to survive. He needed Alan to survive.
Too bad the sentiment wasn't reciprocated. Alan had made it quite clear that he didn't care about him, and that was the worst thing that had happened to him on the island. Even thinking about it after the fact, even though they weren't sure he'd ever have full functionality of his arm in the future, the worst thing that had happened had been losing Alan's respect. It wasn't just respect. He'd lost the older man completely.
He'd spent weeks in this hospital bed where he'd been visited by his friends, the Kirbys before they left for home, and even by Ellie, which had been enough of a shock for him to wonder what kind of drugs they'd given him. There had been no visit from Alan. He hadn't even seen him once after they'd parted from the helicopter ride.
He'd even hoped that it hadn't been his imagination that they'd shared that moment in the helicopter. He'd almost convinced himself that some of what he'd done had been forgiven. Now though, it was clear that Alan had simply been surprised that he'd survived and saved his hat. He could barely remember getting saved and after, they'd drugged him up so much, he could've imagined the relief he'd seen on his face.
What was clear and refused to leave him in the long days he'd spent in the hospital bed was that look of disgust when Alan had opened his bag. What was clear were his words. "As far as I'm concerned, you're no better than the people that built this place." At face value, those words shouldn't have hurt as much as they did. He'd been insulted with worse language, but he knew exactly how Alan felt about InGen. It was impossible to be around the man and not know of his intense dislike for them.
He'd tried to explain. Good intentions? They were, but maybe not for the dig itself. This was what he got for being selfish. He'd wanted to stay with Alan a little longer, as long as possible, and if he wasn't a student, if there wasn't a dig site, then Billy was certain they'd never see each other. They'd be nothing to each other.
Big difference between that fate and this one.
He probably wouldn't be able to work on another dig site. There wasn't enough money as it were, and he was almost done with his dissertation anyway. He could rush things and do research in a library instead of in the field. He would figure something out. He had to. Going back was no longer an option. He wasn't going to force Alan to see him again when he'd made it rather clear by his continued absence that he didn't want to.
Running through the list of things he would have to do, he allowed just a moment to feel sorry for himself. His whole life would change and he hadn't had time to prepare himself.
He was leaving today. All the paperwork was already filled out; it had taken all morning. With help from the nurse, he'd managed to change out of the hospital gown – just doing that had tired him out enough that he was waiting in bed. Ellie had, for some reason, taken it as her responsibility to drive him back to his small university owned apartment. He appreciated it, but a cab probably would've been better. Then, he could take his drugs and drop into his bed and maybe sleep until he was forced to get up. As it were now, he'd have to make small talk and pretend that he didn't hurt and that everything was alright when it so obviously wasn't.
He glanced at the clock on the wall. She was late. Forcing himself to sit up, he sat at the edge of the bed and was about to get up when the door opened. He froze in his place seeing Alan walk in hesitantly. Their eyes met and for a second Billy thought that everything was going to be alright with them until Alan looked away, pulling his hat off his head to look at it.
Billy looked away, too, angry with himself for the hope he knew to be false. Alan had probably been guilted by Ellie to visit him. Neither of them said anything for a while. To save them from further continuing this rather awkward and unnecessary experience, Billy tried to lightly comment, "If you're here to visit, you're a little late. I was just leaving." It sounded more bitter than he would've liked.
Alan finally looked at him again, nodding curtly. "Ellie sent me." He cleared his throat before continuing, "Something came up and she couldn't come."
Pressing his lips tightly together, Billy didn't even have to look at Alan to know that this was the last place he wanted to be. It was in his voice, in the way he stayed at the doorway. Making up his mind, Billy called pressed the button for the nurse. "I'll take a cab," he commented.
Before Alan could reply, the nurse came in with a wheelchair, helping Billy into it. She started to roll him out, and Billy asked her, "Could you please call a cab for me?"
She began to reply, "Of cour…" when Alan interrupted her.
"There's no need. I'm here to pick him up," he said with a frown before taking control of the wheelchair.
The nurse looked at Alan oddly before looking at Billy. "Do you know him?"
Reluctantly, Billy nodded. "I'd still like a cab."
She simply smiled kindly to him and replied, "A little help from friends doesn't hurt."
Billy looked down at the tiles as they continued down the hallway. One car ride. It wasn't like he didn't want to be around Alan. It was just too much for him with this new uncomfortable silence and the fact that he was now self-conscious about every little move they made. It was better than nothing though. He answered sullenly, "Fine."
He would've once jumped at a chance to get Alan to himself like this. He'd had a plan after all, and he'd even managed to get closer to Alan than anyone else at the dig. It hadn't been easy either.
He'd spent so many hours working harder than everyone else, working long hours at the site, and gradually making himself visible to Alan. First, he'd made himself available. Then, he'd made sure Alan had known he was reliable with anything and everything that might come their way. After that, he'd been able to convince Alan to spend time with him outside the dig: a dinner every now and then, drinks, maybe just a seminar that he knew Alan would be interested in.
Billy had found a way to make it happen, and it had been worth it because Alan didn't seem to care when their concept of personal space had lessened to something friends would have actually been uncomfortable with. They'd reached the point where Billy knew there'd been nothing left to do but to say the words aloud, oh and actually do things only friends with benefits would do. It's not like much of anything would have changed, except for a few kisses here and there and then hopefully something more; but still, Billy had thought it was the only real progression of their relationship.
Then, the Kirbys' offer had come in, and Billy had actually been ecstatic. He would have had more time to gradually ease Alan into it. Scaring him off had been one of his greatest fears, but now, all of that meant nothing. He didn't scare Alan away; he'd irreparably damaged anything that could have existed between them.
Getting into the car had been painful, but Billy was focused more on mentally bracing himself for the car ride. He'd automatically reached for the radio, not caring what was on as long as there was something there to fill the silence. Alan didn't protest, and Billy just focused out his window, slumping against his seat.
After miles of watching buildings pass, Alan finally spoke. "I'm sorry."
Billy almost missed it; his voice was so silent compared to the radio. Noticing the same problem, Alan turned it off.
Shrugging, Billy ignored the pull on his wounds that movement caused. He kept his attention out the window, though there was a reflection of Alan in it that his eyes kept straying to. "For what? You didn't send the pteranodons after me."
Alan sighed loudly, his brow furrowing as he tried to get the words out. "I didn't mean what I said on that island. You… aren't like them at all."
His reply was quick, "Okay." Billy didn't believe him. He chalked it up to Ellie or to guilt for him almost dying. He wasn't going to get his hopes up again, not when every time his door had opened in the hospital, he'd hoped it had been Alan to lecture him about how stupid it had been to jump or to just thank him again for saving his hat, anything that would show he was a little concerned for his well-being.
Alan was silent after that and Billy was glad for it. He was tempted to reach into his pocket and take more painkillers. They dulled his senses and made him sleepy, but he'd have to wait until he reached his apartment. He didn't want to fall asleep in the car.
Before reaching his home, the car pulled over to the side of the road though. Placing it in park, Alan turned to face him. Billy had to consider his options before he finally decided that facing him would be best.
"I lied," Alan started.
Billy just nodded. "Okay." He looked back out the window, changing his mind. He didn't want to look at him. "We aren't going to get very far in park." He ignored the frustrated sigh that came from Alan.
"Ellie didn't send me. I offered to pick you up."
Billy scoffed. The man never said what he meant. He didn't see how he couldn't be lying right now in some vain attempt at assuaging guilt. "If you were so eager to see me, you could have done what normal people do and visit while I was in the hospital."
He noted that Alan at least looked a little ashamed about his statement. He bit his lower lip in frustration. Alan had been under no obligation to visit him. He just couldn't believe that after everything, this was how it was going to end.
"I…" Alan didn't know what to say. "Are you up for visiting the dig site in your condition?"
Billy stared at him in shock, but Alan was determinedly looking forward. Of all the things Alan could have said, that was the least expected. The site was Alan's proverbial personal space. No one was invited there unless absolutely necessary. In fact, people weren't invited; they were assigned there before leaving after a while. It was a peace offering or at least the closest one that Billy would ever hear from the other man and believe. It was a chance to make things right.
"The funds?" Billy asked, almost too frightened to really hope.
"Ellie managed to convince some friends to offer grants." Alan glanced at him quickly with a tentative smile and added as he shifted the car to drive, "I'm looking for someone I can stand to work several hours a day with on that glorified abacus we have."
Billy grinned, trying not to embarrass himself with how happy he felt. This was more than a second chance. He didn't have to start from the very beginning to get close. He'd been invited.
Don't forget to R/R (Read and Review)!
Story Note: I guess that's really pre-slash, right? Meh, it was supposed to be a drabble-ish fic.