Disclaimer: I have Tsunade as Naruto's mother, what does that obviously tell you.
Prologue: Lucky Brat
16 years before that night...
Our story begins with a decision, that brings with it a change of destiny.
"No, oneechan, I want to earn it." Said Nawaki. "Hang onto it for me, and I'll take it when I become Hokage." Raising an eyebrow, the beautiful blonde asked.
"You sure?" Nawaki nodded at his sister, who placed it on her dresser.
"Besides, it's been all between your boobies, and I want to give it a chance to air out." Nawaki said with a grin that would become famous on someone else dear to her.
"Why you little." The chase began...and ended shortly after with Nawaki's face smothered in said boobs, via a head lock, while he squealed like a pig. A white haired man, who happened to be visiting the buxom blonde stopped, and frowned.
8 years, three months before that night...
"I'm sorry Dan, but there's nothing that I can do." Tsunade said to her best friend, sans Jiraiya. Their team had been ambushed by four teams of Iwa Anbu, and were swiftly wiped out. Only her and Dan had remained, while more than three quarters of the enemy survived. Dan had sacrificed himself to take out more than half of the remaining group, while throwing their plans into disarray.
"It's okay hime," He said, coughing up blood. "At least we got those bastards, eh." Tsunade looked at the dozen or so Iwa nin that were slowly, but surely regrouping.
"Yeah, you got'em." She said smiling. "I love you Dan." Dan let out a small sigh before smirking.
"I love you too, Tsunade-koi. Do me a favor, take care of little Shizune, will you," Dan requested. "And make sure you're the only one that leaves this battle." He added. Tsunade nodded, and let a tear fall as the life left one of the only men she felt she could ever love (and no she would never tell Jiraiya, because he'd never let it go). When Tsunade stood to engage the enemy, the look on her face told the Iwa nin that they were ass fucked...without lube. Tsunade certainly earned her title as one of the Sannin, when she butchered the nin without receiving so much as another scratch; in her rage, creating the strength technique she would become famous for.
5 years before that night...
"I present to you, the Yondaime Hokage, Senju Nawaki." Sarutobi said to the masses. The village cheered, relishing in the lull in fighting. As Sarutobi stood back, and listened to the new kage address his people, he began to make plans. It was time the God of Shinobi return to the battlefield. Regardless of his age, he was still a force to be reckoned with. Besides, his eldest daughter had been raped and murdered by enemy ninja, and he was itching for some payback. Next to him, his former student, and newly published author watched his teammate kiss her little brother on the cheek.
"Lucky brat!" He grumbled, to which Sarutobi chuckled.
A little less than a year before that night...
As the Jounin took a seat in the bar, he thought back over the report he had just finished reading. He knew that death was a part of war, but losing a student hurt almost as much as losing one of your own kids; moreso when you didn't have any biological ones of your own. So lost was he in his thoughts, that he didn't notice that someone had sat next to him, nor that said person was the woman he'd crushed on since he'd first met her- an incident involving his sensei being punched across the village.
"You look like you could use a drink, kid." Minato looked up to find Tsunade sitting next to him; her loose top showing unhealthy amounts of cleavage for any straight man.
"Ts-Tsunade-hime." He stuttered out, blushing. Luckily in the poor light of the bar, his red tint couldn't be seen.
"Ugh, don't call me that, it reminds me of your pervert sensei." She said. "He knows I hate it when he calls me that." Fighting the urge to stare, he turned his eyes back to the bar.
"Sorry, Tsunade." He murmured.
"So, what's got you so down?" She asked.
"Rin, she died on her mission." Minato explained. "I had thought she was ready for a solo mission, I should have known. She was a medic, not a real fighter. First Obito, then Rin, I feel like a failure as a teacher."
"You can't let things like this get to you." Tsunade said. "When I lost the man I loved to enemy contact, I nearly shut down. My sensei told me that war is death, and that no one is safe from it. I didn't understand, or really didn't want to understand at the time, but now I see what he meant."
"I know, I just want to forget right now." Sighing, Tsunade poured him a cup of sake.
"All right, but you'll eventually have to face it, and move on." She said.
Three hours later, the plastered pair were still sitting at the bar with eight empty bottles of sake sitting in front of them. The drunk Jounin looked at the blonde haired woman, and had the sudden urge to confess something he'd been hiding.
"H-hey, Tsss-undade(1)," He started. "I think...I'min...I'm in lllove wiyou." Many of the words in the drunken confession were punctuated by points of the finger. "I wan'ed you since I was a Genenin(1)." Tsunade, who was even less sober than her drinking partner, gave him a drunken smile.
"How ba' y'wan' me?" She returned. She gave a hiccup, and swayed dizzily.
"Mor'en Ero-sen...hic...sensei." He said. "Bu' I wan' mar'y you. Mizzi and Mizzer Sen-Senju Tsunadade(1)." Tsunade barked out a drunken laugh, before giving Minato an appraising eye. He wasn't bad looking, in fact he was rather sexy, and she hadn't been laid since Dan died. Now she'd never have considered this sober, but it seemed like a good idea at the moment.
"C'mon, les get outta here." She said taking his hand.
Tsunade woke to bright sunlight, and a pounding headache. Groaning, she sat up, allowing the covers to slide off her nude torso. 'Huh, nude torso?' Looking down, she found that she was indeed naked from the...she pulled the sheets up to find she was completely naked. Looking over she saw that she had company, in the form of Namikaze Minato, her teammates most gifted former student. It was about this time that her brain processed the pungent scent, and the feeling of the still slightly damp sheets. As the events of the day before came back to her, she groaned even louder. 'Kami, I really hope I remembered the contraceptive jutsu.' She thought, rubbing her throbbing temples.
Sitting on top of the Hokage Tower with his telescope out, a certain member of the Sannin giggled pervertedly...at least until he saw a shock of blond hair laying next to the nude woman.
"Damn it, that lucky brat."
Eight months before that night...
The latest ninja war was ended swiftly and brutally. The Sannin, the God of Shinobi, the Yellow Flash, the Crimson Death, and the newly famed Copy-cat Kakashi, along with a hundred other shinobi of Leaf, decimated the remainder of Iwa and it's allies fighting force. It was the only battle Konoha fought without aid of allies, and the only battle where they didn't suffer a single casualty.
Seven months before that night...
"Congratulations Tsunade-sama, you're..."
Jounin Minato Namikaze was heading towards the Hokage tower to ask if there were any new Genin graduating soon that had any promise. He'd gotten his team after they'd all reached Chuunin, and thought it might be nice to start from scratch this time around. With the war over, he had finally had time to come to grips with the loss of 2/3 of his other squad. Just as he was passing the hospital, an ominous feeling washed over him, followed by a bellowed yell.
"WHAT?" He heard a familiar voice say, and chuckled at the unfortunate bastard that had drawn her ire. That is, until he remembered the ominous feeling. Deciding retreat was the better part of valor, he began to pick up his pace, only to freeze mid-step when a highly pissed off Tsunade landed in his path; leaving a two foot wide, and six inch deep depression in the road. He heard her knuckles crack as she balled up her fists, and just closed his eyes. He didn't know what he'd done, but he knew this was going to hurt...a lot. "You bastard." He heard her growl, before being knocked a quarter mile away, through three walls, and landing in a convenient stack of empty boxes inside the back room of a small newly built ramen stand. Minato thanked Kami for that stack of boxes, knowing it could have been a much worse landing (her aim was impeccable, seeing as his sensei always seemed to land in the women's hot spring when she hit him, which usually led to another beating). Deciding to take the road less traveled, he just laid there, luckily avoiding further bouts of her wrath. His sensei wasn't so lucky, for when the news of Tsunade's condition reached him, his comments about being both jealous and proud of his student landed him under the scope of Tsunade's anger, and a trip to both the women's hot spring (where Anko, Yuugao, a pregnancy induced hormonal Kushina, and Kurenai just so happened to be communing), and the hospital.
"Damn you Minato," Tsunade yelled as she pushed. "I'm going to cave your fucking chest in." Minato paled. 'She's already broken my hand, now she's going to cave my chest in too? Man, maybe I should have just gone out with Kushina like everyone said.' Minato gulped as he saw the railing of the hospital bed bending and contorting under the woman's strength.
Um, let's fast forward a bit, shall we.
Forty-three minutes later...
As Tsunade sat breast feeding her son, her Naruto, her thoughts began to wander. First was how she'd allowed her son to be named after one of Jiraiya's characters; never mind the fact that it was for once a noble one. She completely forgot- or rather pointedly ignored- the fact that it was also part of a ramen dish, a fishcake at that. Then was her greatest fear, just under the sight of blood, which after butchering a few Iwa nin months ago, had lessened considerably. When she'd lost Dan, she had truthfully given up all hope of ever having children. Who would have thought that a drunken mistake would be the best thing that ever happened to her. Looking over to the door, she caught the boy's father looking away. Why he insisted on pretending he wasn't staring, she didn't know. She was a Kage level shinobi, and after having dealt with Jiraiya for over twenty years (yes she knew she was a very late bloomer, having not started having significant breast growth until she was sixteen), she could feel when someone was staring at her.
She still couldn't understand why he proposed to her. Was it because of Naruto, or did he really have feelings for her. She knew he had a crush on her, like teacher, like student after all, but had his feelings grown to more? She put those thoughts to the back of her mind for now, and returned all of her attention to the suckling baby. Tsunade let out a shudder, because this was going to be rough on her. The last thing she needed, was to get aroused while trying to feed her child. She'd always had sensitive nipples, hence her hatred and lack of use of bras- never mind the fact that finding one that fit was always a chore. She'd always preferred somewhat loose bindings until even that wasn't an option anymore. He'd definitely be getting weaned as soon as possible. Tsunade felt the eyes on her again, but ignored them this time. The fact that the stare was more a loving caress, than a perverted glean, made her want to give him a chance. Not to mention, that the majority of the gaze was on Naruto, not her. The pain of loss, however, was still too much, even after five years. Even if she had gotten over the death, it still affected her personal life.
Minato waited a few moments after being caught staring. Shaking his still sore hand, he made a mental note to have Jiraiya hold her hand next time. Holding the hand of a kunoichi giving birth was painful (his friend Kushina had proven that), doing so for a Kage-level kunoichi who was known for having super strength, was just plain crazy. She'd literally crushed his hand, and the medic had almost been unable to fix it afterwards. His thoughts then turned darker. Why was she so stubborn? He loved her, he loved his new son, why couldn't they be a real family? He turned back to the woman feeding his boy, and he couldn't help but smile. 'The little bugger. Not even ten minutes out, and he's already getting more play from my girl than I am. Lucky little brat.'
Giving a grin, he stood, and joined his two favorite people; Jiraiya had been bumped to third. The fact that he was understanding of the situation scared him though. If his sensei was maturing, then surely something huge and life changing was about to happen. Arriving at Tsunade's side, he gave his suckling son a caress on the head, and caught up in the moment, Tsunade received a kiss on the top of her head, and on her shoulder. 'Damn it,' She thought. 'He's really making it hard to keep saying no about now.' Giving her a charming smile, he said.
"You know, he's probably the luckiest guy alive right now." Tsunade gave him an unusual curious look. "Think about it Tsunade, what's he doing, that every guy on the planet has dreamed of?" Tsunade sighed.
"You see, it's comments like those that remind me why I rejected your marriage proposal." The Eldest blonde replied. "As smart as you are, you still got corrupted by Jiraiya." For a second, Minato's eyes glazed. She'd just shifted Naruto to the shoulder opposite of the breast he'd been eating from, to burp the baby, and her breast was just sitting there begging to be taken back in mouth. Minato shook his head, exorcising the perverted thoughts of his sensei from his brain.
"Really love, everyone's a little perverted, otherwise, there'd be no babies; and at least I'm not one to the extent of my sensei." Minato replied, while reaching down to cover her bare boob with her gown. 'And you weren't complaining about it that night we spent together.' Although he'd never say that bit aloud.
"One can only be so fortunate I guess." While she'd said that, she was also cursing at the fact that he'd covered her instead of staring. It was sweet gestures like that, which again made him hard to resist. They sat in companionable silence, while she burped her small bundle. Afterwards, Minato took his son, to give her a rest. Just as Tsunade started to drift off, a medic ran into the room.
"Minato-san, the Kyuubi has breached the outer defenses, Hokage-sama requests your presence on the battlefield." Minato hung his head, and looked at Tsunade.
"I don't know how this seal of yours works, but I do know that the user is going to die." Fighting back the tears at what she knew was coming, she said. "Minato, either you or Nawaki better bring my son back to me." He nodded. "Alive!"
"I promise Naruto will be fine, Tsunade-hime." He then added, as he was leaving the room. "And even if you don't believe me, I do love you. I felt you should know; just in case I don't get the chance to tell you later." Tsunade then knew that she loved the man. She tried to speak up, but the words caught in her throat. Instead, she just cried, cursing not having told him that she too loved him.
Another hour later...
"It's okay, hime, let it out." Tsunade cried on Minato's shoulder. Jiraiya calmly rubbed a comforting hand on her back, while he held their son.
"Just remember, a person is never truly dead, until they are completely forgotten." Jiraiya wouldn't know how much his words had affected his teammate until later. "He gave his life to save the village; a sacrifice like that will never be forgotten, and even if it is, his friends and family will never let his memory die." After she'd cried herself out, she looked up into blue eyes identical to her son.
"Minato-kun, could you take me home?" Blushing slightly at the endearment, he began leading her towards the house she shared with her brother and apprentice. She stopped him with a hand on his arm. "No, take me to our home."
"Ts-Tsunade-hime, what are you saying?" He asked unsure. Jiraiya, having figured it out, chuckled at his student. The boy was a certifiable genius, a gifted ninja beyond even he and his teammates, and had mastered everything put before him, whether jutsu or politics. Yet here he was, as clueless as one could be when dealing with women.
"I'm saying that life is too short to waste precious time." Grabbing the back of his head, she brought his head down to hers, and kissed him. "And my answer is yes. I think I will marry you." The Jounin's eyes went wide, before he passed out. Jiraiya snorted.
"You know that he's had a crush on you ever since he was little right." Tsunade raised her eyebrow. "You just made the kid's dreams come true for the second time." He then grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, 'Lucky Brat'.
Six years later...
Six year old Naruto raced up the stairs to his father's office. All he'd been told, was that his dad and the Old Man had a surprise for him for his birthday. When he reached the floor, he blushed as he passed the secretary's desk. She was a pretty lady the same age as Anko-neechan, and just as flirty. Both liked to smother him in their chests, but Satoshi Lia had a much bigger bust to smother him with.
"H-hey Lia-chan." The secretary looked up from the file she was reading, her brown eyes bright with mischief.
"Oh hi cutie." She said. "Your dad wanted me to tell you that he'll be a few minutes. The Council needed him for something." Naruto inwardly groaned. This meant he was going to be subjected to the flirtations of his dad's secretary. Even though he was young, he was smart enough to know what she was saying, and that she really didn't mean most of it. That still didn't make her comments any less effective at making him blush like a tomato. "You know, you really are a cute little something. I bet you and my little sister would be so cute together."
"Lia-chaaan, don't say things like that." Naruto said, pouting cutely. Grinning, the teen said.
"Too bad you aren't older, or I'd have to snag you for myself." Neither had noticed the other two people in the room.
"Now, now, Lia, no flirting with the little ones." Minato said, smiling. Lia and Naruto looked up to find both the Sandaime and Godaime Hokages standing near the stairs.
"But Hokage-sama, he's just so cute." She said winking at Naruto, gaining another blush, and a smile from the two men. "I just wanna squeeze him like a little fox plushie."
"While I'm inclined to agree with your earlier statement, I don't think you should be setting your sister up with Naruto just yet." Minato said. "Both Naruto and Tenten are much too young to be thinking about relationships." Turning to his son, he said. "Come along, Naruto, we have a surprise for you." The two elder nin entered the office, followed by Naruto. Just as he was crossing the threshold, Lia called his name.
"Hey Naruto-kun." Naruto turned, swiftly wishing he hadn't, for Lia had blown him a kiss. When Naruto entered the office, his face was redder than the flames on his father's haori.
Five minutes later...
As Naruto whipped out the door, and down the hall cheering about his new career, his father was having a serious conversation with his predecessor.
"Sarutobi-senpai, I need to ask you a favor."
"What is it Minato?" The young man looked distressed. "You know I would help you anyway that I can."
"I was wondering if you'd consent to taking one last student?" Minato gave a sad sigh at the frown on his mentor's face. "I know that you said you wouldn't, not after Orochimaru, but if anyone can remove the stain that he left on the village, it's Naruto. Having the Kyuubi sealed in him, he has so much potential, and you and Jiraiya are the only ones who could train him to his full potential. Jiraiya has already agreed to take him as a Genin, and won't be back till then- something about a spy network, and a new novel series- I need you to teach him until then."
"What about Tsunade? Surely she can train him."
"She has taken over the hospital, and is still busy restructuring it, as well as trying to train field medics." Minato decided to nail the coffin shut. "Besides, the boy soaks jutsu up like a sponge, and who better to teach him than the Great Professor, the man with a knowledge of all the village's jutsu. You know you love teaching, you're always imparting knowledge onto people."
"Surely you can ask this of someone else." Sarutobi said. "You wouldn't want it to seem like you're playing favorites, would you." Minato sighed.
"You know I would do this myself, but my time is swamped with paperwork, meetings, clan drama, and correcting the corruption within the council." Sarutobi sighed. "If I were not the Hokage, I'd be just like every other father preparing their child to be the best they can." Minato smirked, about to play his trump card. "Perhaps you'd be willing to resume your duties for a few years, so that I can prepare Naruto for the shinobi life ahead of him?" Fearfully, Sarutobi changed his mind. 'The threat of paperwork prevails again.' Minato thought to himself.
"I-I will teach him as you have asked," Sarutobi said, sweating from the ten ton bullet he'd just dodged. "But only under the premise of tutoring, and only if Naruto asks me himself."
"Thank you, though you should be warned that he'll have severe difficulty learning the Bunshin." Minato said. "I'd do that last."
"Yes, the boy does seem to have more chakra than he can control." Sarutobi agreed. "But I think I have something that can help him. I'll probably start him on Taijutsu and chakra control anyway."
"Speaking of taijutsu, there is one thing I do want you to teach him." Minato said. Sarutobi gave him a meaningful look. "I understand, but I also know my son. I've paid close attention to my son, especially after he learned to walk. His mind is much too free to make use of the academy style, or any real traditional style. I've been working on something especially for him, that plays to his unpredictability, and his ability to think on the fly. It's a style that only he could use, and it suits his preference of just winging it, instead of elaborate planning."
"Oh, do tell."
"I started with an ancient civilian style. You may have heard of it, The Way of the Intercepting Fist?" Sarutobi nodded. "Right, I used the main principles of this combat system, because the flexibility suits Naruto better than any style I've ever heard of. I also added elements of my own Butterfly style, this will give him attacks and defenses that he can use in high speed combat."
"High speed?" Sarutobi jibed.
"Basically, if Naruto decides to learn the Hiraishin." Minato explained. "The style I currently use was developed around the technique, and makes great use of the jutsu's speed, as well as my own natural speed."
"I see, continue."
"I've also been able to incorporate some of Tsunade's own style, to of course utilize her monstrous strength, less powerful enhanced attacks, or even medical techniques in combat. His already sizable reserves may prevent him from having the control to use his mother's strength or the latter in such a situation, but the options will be available to him. This is the only thing that I ask you to specifically teach him. Everything else is at your own discretion." Minato handed him the scroll.
"It is a very interesting concept, I look forward to seeing it in action."
First day of class...
"Hey ojisan, could you help me with some stuff?" The eight year old Naruto asked. "I'm having some trouble with chakra control, and I don't like the academy taijutsu. It's too crampy." Sarutobi frowned.
"Did your father put you up to this?" Naruto shook his head.
"No, was he supposed to?" The blond asked. Sarutobi sighed, and beaconed for him to continue. "I need help with my lessons, but while kaasan and tousan do help, they can't take too much time during the day, cuz they are always busy with important village stuff. I figure since you helped kaasan get so good, you could help me at least with the easy stuff. I don't want it to seem like special treatment." The former Hokage couldn't help but smile.
"Alright, how about you show me what you can do, and I'll figure out what to do to help." Naruto nodded, then got a scared look on his face.
"Ano, can I bring Hinata-chan with me too?" He asked. "She's having problems too, and I promised her I'd help her if I could." Sarutobi grinned. 'Well that solves the favoritism problem, it seems.'
"Yes, and tell Hinata she's welcome to join whenever she likes." Naruto's smile was brighter than his hair at that moment.
1. You know what's funny, I hadn't intended those to be misspelled. They were all typos that I figured fit in at the moment, so I just left them.
I don't want Naruto to be super great too early, so I'm trying some things. Academy Naruto will be about naturally as good as early Genin Hinata, but stronger, more ninjutsu, and with chuunin reserves and stamina. Since Hinata sometimes joins Naruto for training with the old man when she can, she'll be pre-timeskip level as a Genin. Naruto and Hinata figure out early on that she's not that good with the pure Hyuuga style, and learns a variation of Naruto's style. When they become Genin under Jiraiya, they will learn that she flourishes when she mixes it with another style. Sarutobi works on his chakra control and taijutsu for the first two years, strength, speed, agility, stealth, tracking, trapping, and etiquette the next three, and then teaches him ninjutsu the last two. While Naruto is doing his ninjutsu training, Hiashi and Minato rework Naruto's style for Hinata featuring Jyuuken. I decided to put this particular note up, because I likely won't be going back over their training, never was good with all the training montages.
Isn't it weird how it takes reading a fanfic to make you notice things about the series. I'd just finished reading a portion of chapter 4 of the story 'Gift of Fire' by Black Saint, and just so happened to be looking up something in the manga for one of my own stories. Tell me why I stumbled upon a panel in chapter 238 (panel 13, I think), that had a picture of all four Hokage; and wouldn't you know it, but the Yondaime held a real resemblance to the Nidaime. I also noticed that there was a picture of the Yondaime on the first panel of chapter 238. If you put Naruto's whiskers on that picture, they look almost like clones of each other. You know what would be totally messed up, is if Minato was like Tobirama's grandson, resulting from a child that came from an affair that he never knew produced a child. Then Kushina was a descendent of a fling that Hiruzen had while away from Konoha during one of the wars; perhaps with a kunoichi from Whirlpool Country. Then through some wild twist of fate, one of the doctors doing a routine checkup on Naruto (likely Shizune to make it more humorous), finds a discrepancy with Naruto's blood work. She finds that he has a partial genetic match to all five of the village's Hokage, with the Fourth being the most obvious one; being his father and all. Oh the chaos that could cause. Now I'm not one to pimp out my story ideas, but I would be very grateful if someone were to take this up. It's a comedy just waiting to happen.