I own nothing…Still!
A/N: Hey, I'm back! O.K so I'm having a go at a sequel cuz I missed my boys and their trials and tribulations lol. Unlike 'Could it be Magic?' This hasn't been written in advance, I'm just making it up as I go along (Which is a bit terrifying) I have no more idea than you guys do what's going to happen, so please bear with me as I improvise…! (O.K so I have a rough idea in my head what I'm going to do, but this way if it turns out alright I'll look really clever lol) Anyhoo, let me know what you think and whether I should just give up now before I slaughter it. This chapter starts a few hours after the last chap of C.I.B.M finishes. Thanks for reading xxx
Chapter 1-Still figuring out.
'They are going to notice, calm down idiot' Harry Potter thought to himself ruefully. He was currently perched on the edge of an armchair in Gryffindor tower. He was well aware that his back was rigidly straight but he couldn't seem to be able to relax it. He pushed himself further into the seat and pressed his spine into the cushions behind him, trying to appear as casual as possible. His hands that he had planted on each armrest drummed nervously , and his eyes wouldn't stop scanning the room, never resting on one thing or person for too long. His left leg kept jumping up and down of its own accord and he had practically bitten a hole through his bottom lip. Basically he was mess. The last 24 hours had been so crazy he wasn't sure if half of it had been real. Draco, thankfully, was doing O.K and Madam Pomfrey had said he would be fine in a few days. She had basically said that bringing him back to Hogwarts had saved his life. The rate he was losing blood, Draco would've been dead within a few hours if he had been left to bleed out.
In the early hours of the morning, whilst Draco had been asleep, Professor Dumbledore had come down to the infirmary to find Harry still sat on the plastic chair beside his bed, his head resting on his arm on the edge of the mattress dozing, his hand entwined with the Slytherin's. After gently waking the Gryffindor, he had informed him that Lucius had been arrested for the attempted murder of Draco and the suspicion of murder of Narcissa. Harry wasn't sure how Draco would feel about that, the Slytherin had so far refused to talk about his father. He was sure Draco was suffering a little from shock and was certain that he was too. His nerves were shot to bits, and his back just wouldn't adjust from being in that damn chair all night.
Harry was brought back to the present by the sound of his name.
"Harry?" Hermione's voice drifted over to him and with a guilty pang he realised she was concerned. "Are you O.K? You seem… tense" He glanced up to her chocolate coloured eyes and immediately looked back down again. Worry and suspicion was painted all over her face instantly making him feel terrible.
Clearing his throat to dislodge the lump of guilt that had settled there and shifting in his seat awkwardly he nodded, hopefully giving off an air of non-chalance. "Yeah I'm fine." He tried to smile warmly but even to himself he felt it was more of a grimace than anything.
He felt Hermione shift and the next thing he knew she was kneeling in front of him scrutinizing his face. Ron, who up until now was engrossed in 'Which Broomstick?', looked up to study Harry too.
"How are things in general Harry? It feels as though we hardly see you these days." Hermione asked gently. 'That girl is too perceptive for her own good' Harry thought with a sigh.
"Things are the same as usual 'Mione ." He murmured. He could feel his brow beginning to sweat and his still too stiff back continued to stay rigid. Hermione didn't look convinced as she scanned his face with her intelligent eyes. Ron however took Harry's word for it and went back to perusing his magazine. Glancing to make sure her boyfriend was adequately occupied, Hermione leaned in, softly chewing her lip in a rare moment of uncertainty.
"Is it Ginny? I know it's been a few weeks since you guys broke up, and that you've had some.. difficulties.." They both glanced at Ron who was still absorbed and not listening "..with your friends. But we are all still here for you Harry. If something is wrong, you can always talk to me, you know that."
Now he felt really bad. Trust Hermione to kill him with kindness. Her honest words made him feel completely wretched for keeping her in the dark.
"Hermione, I'm fine, really. There's nothing... wrong, I'm just tired. That's all. Nothing to worry about." He was aware that he was prattling and that his voice was slightly higher than normal, he couldn't seem to control the waves of nervousness and anxiety that kept crashing down on him. He felt as though he had word vomit. "I haven't been sleeping too well lately.. You know what us guys are like, we need all the sleep we can get or else we can't function. I mean look at Ron.." He chuckled with a faint hint of hysteria.
The frown on Hermione's face said it all. He knew he had over done it, he could practically see the cogs turning in her head as she processed his behaviour. He watched her, still attempting to smile and seem natural but he knew he had pretty much blown it. She'd be watching him closely now. Damn.
"O.K Harry. Well, I'm always here." She smiled, although it didn't touch her eyes. Her forehead had puckered slightly like it did when she was trying to concentrate. Harry wasn't sure whether to take her words as a threat or not. "Thanks 'Mione"
She went back to sit beside Ron and after a few minutes began reading the book she had laid aside, glancing inconspicuously up at Harry when she thought he wasn't looking.
Harry was sure his guilt was written all over his face. He felt as though he had 'I'm lying to you' written across his forehead. Shuddering at the thought, he flattened his fringe self-consciously.
Harry knew he was being ridiculous, that his friends didn't have the faintest idea what was going on with him. He felt bad that it was like this but considering the alternative he was happy to let things stay the way they were for now.
Harry was dragged out of his thoughts when a highly excitable Seamus lurched through the portrait hole, gasping as though he had been running. His face was alight with glee as he tried to catch his breath and talk at the same time.
"Ye won't …believe…. What…I.. just…found…out!" He shouted between gasps getting the attention of everybody within hearing range.
"What? That trying to talk after running is a little difficult?" Hermione snorted to herself. Ignoring her, Seamus continued, still wheezing slightly.
"Old Lucius Malfoy killed his wife! And then tried to off Draco too!" He announced gleefully, rubbing his hands together with satisfaction.
"No way!" Ron practically beamed, sitting up straighter in his seat, his magazine all but forgotten.
Harry's back released at once and he sank into the chair. He felt as though a bucket of ice cold water had been poured over his head. He wasn't sure what to do. Should he pretend to be happy? Should he be outraged? How the hell had anyone found out so soon? Harry had only left the hospital wing a few hours ago and Draco was sleeping when he left. Surely it was too early for rumours. He kept a poker face as he focused on the conversation again. Ron was practically on the edge of his seat now looking like a child on Christmas morning. Hermione's eyebrows were so high they were almost in her hair and Seamus was all but jumping around with happiness. "Apparently someone saved him last minute, mores the pity. But he's meant to be in a real bad way. He still might die!" He almost squealed.
Harry's stomach turned as he heard the pleasure in the Irish boy's voice. The image of Draco laying on McGonagall's rug, bone white and covered in blood slammed into his consciousness so hard he felt bile rise into his mouth. He pushed it back down with effort and tried to take a deep breath without being too obvious. It didn't matter though, no one was paying any attention to him, not even Hermione. They were all too enraptured with Seamus' news.
"Where are you getting this from? Who told you?" Hermione asked. Harry was a little upset that even she sounded happy about the possibility of the Slytherin being in grave danger.
Seamus blushed and cleared his throat nervously. The excitement melted away and was replaced by bashfulness. "I'm not at liberty to reveal my sources." He muttered, not meeting anyone's eye.
"Pansy then!" Ron said, screwing his nose up in distaste. Seamus' face turned scarlet as he eyed the Gryffindors around him, all wearing similar looks of disgust. Apart from Harry of course, who appeared merely curious.
"Ron! Shut your big fat mouth!" Seamus snapped. Ron rolled his eyes but stayed quiet.
"Well if that pug faced little cow is saying it, then it must be true! I wonder why he did it?" Hermione breathed, the mystery igniting her curiosity.
"Well you can't blame him for wanting to off Prat Jr! Shame he waited this long and didn't just do it at birth" Ron snickered, everyone else joining in, even Hermione was trying to hide a smile.
Harry felt his hands grip the armchair as he fought the urge to hit Ron in the face. He was aware he was trembling but he couldn't help it. He knew he should leave before he said something he would regret but there was no way of doing this without drawing attention to himself. After all, Draco was supposed to be his enemy and defending him would probably look a tad suspicious.
"What's up Harry? I thought you would be over the moon that we might be shot of Draco for good! This is like the best news ever" Seamus bleated.
A surge of rage shot through The Boy who Lived and before he could control it, he threw himself out of his chair and yelled into the stunned Irish boy's face.
"What part is the best Seamus? That part where Someone lost one of their parents? Or the part where Someone might die? I'm failing to see what's so great about the 'news'" He sarcastically raised his fingers and made quotation marks as he spoke. He was careful to say 'someone' rather than 'Draco', he wasn't sure he could say it without smiling, no matter what the context may be.
Everybody in the common room, even those who hadn't been paying attention before, were now staring at Harry, each wearing identical stunned expressions.
As the rage ebbed away, The Boy who Lived regretted losing his temper. 'Way to go moron, because that's not going to raise a few suspicions is it?!' He thought miserably.
Hermione recovered first, having the decency to look ashamed. "You're right Harry, we're being appalling." She murmured, wringing her hands slightly. "Of course, it's absolutely horrible what's happened, even if it is Malfoy."
Everyone soon followed suit, muttering apologies and looking shame faced. Harry simply nodded and told them to forget about it. Apparently they all thought he was upset because Malfoy had lost his Mother and Harry had lost his parents and could relate. With the smallest amount of guilt, he played the orphan card. Again, it was better than the alternative.
The impromptu party quickly dispersed, Seamus slipping away as quickly as he could, and the trio were once again by themselves.
As he fell back into his seat, Hermione glanced at Harry sheepishly whilst Ron found his magazine and planted his head firmly behind it. "Harry are you sure you're O.K? You just seem a little more upset than…" She whispered. Maybe not everyone was convinced of his motives.
"Mione-" Harry began only to be cut off.
"It is Malfoy we're talking about and.." She continued.
"Hermione he said he's fine, leave him alone. Next you'll be saying he's mad because he's secretly in love with Malfoy or something." Ron snickered, evidently tying to lighten the mood, from behind his magazine which was currently upside down.
Harry was very, very conscious that Hermione was watching him, and with great effort he managed to restrain himself from reacting to that sentence. Only Ron could hit the nail on the head when he was being sarcastic. Of course Harry wasn't in love with Draco but it was definetly somewhere in that category that there friendship was hovering, and the fact that his best friend had suggested it, especially with the level of revulsion and humour that coloured his voice, crushed The Boy who Lived more than he thought possible.
Automatically, Harry's face arranged itself into the appropriate disgusted expression. His stomach clenched at the thought of what he was doing. He felt as though he were betraying Draco. How could he pretend the idea revolted him when it actually excited him. Just having Draco, Him and Love in the same sentence made Harry giddy with happiness and hope.
"Of course I'm not saying that Ron, don't be so stupid. I know Harry isn't.." and here she whispered whilst glancing over her shoulder to make sure no one was listening, as though she were speaking something that was forbidden or rude "…one of 'those boys'. I'm just saying he's maybe more upset then I would've expected." She prattled on, trying to defend herself. Harry had stopped listening to her half way through her defence, pausing at the words 'one of those boys' with a wave of fear and nausea slamming down on him. She sounded appalled. Her mouth twisted around the words as though they even tasted bad. The thought that Harry could be gay disgusted Hermione.
The bile had, once again, found its way into Harry's mouth and he found it even harder this time to swallow. His throat wouldn't cooperate with him as he tried to force it down and he felt it begin to burn. He was horrified to realise that his eyes were beginning to burn too as his tear ducts began to work.
With all the control he could muster, he stopped himself from crying. But he hadn't gotten it together in time to remain inconspicuous. Hermione and Ron were watching him with identical looks of guilt on their faces.
"Harry mate, I was only joking. I know your not a bender." Ron joked, leaning over and punching him lightly as he mistook Harry's behaviour as embarrassment. "And even if you were.." He too, twisted the words as though he were chewing a lemon "..I'm sure you would have better taste than a Malfoy!" He finished with a grin as though it would make Harry feel better.
Harry grimaced and nodded not meeting their eyes and they took their cue to change the subject.
Harry's mind was no longer there though. He stared at a patch of the fire, not really seeing it. He was devastated. In one conversation, his friends had basically ripped his stomach out. He never thought they would be so opposed to homosexuality. True it wasn't something that had ever crept up in conversation but he never dreamt they would be so outright against it.
Was he 'one of those boys'? Was he gay? He knew he wasn't straight, he had fancied a few too many guys to be considered hetro. Before Draco, he had never actually come close to being with a guy though. He figured he was just going through a phase and that it would pass. No use labelling what wouldn't last, right?
But now he wasn't so sure. He had real feelings for the Slytherin, considerably more than he had had for Ginny, and they had been together for a year. Being with Draco had felt natural. When they had kissed it had felt as though their lips had fit together perfectly, as though they were designed as a pair. Like two pieces of puzzle slotting together. When he thought of Draco he felt overwhelmingly happy but he also felt aroused. Thinking about it, he had been sexually aware of Draco for very long time now, even when he was with Ginny, and on the few occasions that they had been close he didn't feel a fraction of how he felt when he was close to the Slytherin.
Maybe he was gay after all.
But that particular thought didn't do anything for his mood. If anything he plummeted further into despair. His friends had basically said it was wrong. How would they feel if they knew there was a possibility Harry was 'One of those boys'. Would they turn their backs on him? Or would they realise that he is still the same person.
As their words echoed through his brain, Harry wasn't so sure it would be the latter.
To Be Continued…
What do you think? Yey or Ney? I know there was no Draco but he will arrive pretty soon…hopefully. I'm nervous as hell, so please be nice lol.
Thanks for reading xxx